So, hello my lovelies - I'M FINALLY BACK. I'm so sorry for the radio silence. First of all, I just want to thank you for the wonderful reviews that you give to me. I went back to reread a little bit of this story and...I have no idea why you guys like it. I cringe at the writing.

Thank you to all who have reviewed these last few months for never giving up on this fic. I'm never going to abandon it! I just write...super...slowly... But let's hope I can pump out more in the future (and hopefully quicker).

I was all set to review and edit this, but then halfway through, I just gave up. Please accept this small, unworthy chapter as a token on my gratitude forever. Enjoy!

The trip back to Akashi's apartment was something of a whirlwind. It wasn't that the walk went by particularly fast, but that Kuroko couldn't focus on anything during it. Not the time that passed, the people brushed by them, nor the bumping that they seemed to awkwardly do on these small streets of Tokyo, Akashi's hand still firmly wrapped around his wrist.

Kuroko kept his feet down, staring at the cracks in the concrete and the specks of blackened gum that were melded onto the ground. He struggled to keep up the pace, as awkward as it was with one bag still in his free hand. The other was in Akashi's unused hand. Their clasped hands and strange attempt to walk in in a straight line caught more than a couple of eyes, but Akashi didn't seem to mind. And if he didn't mind, Kuroko certainly couldn't focus on it.

He couldn't seem to focus on anything these days.

Akashi plugged in the code to the entrance gate and they slid into the metal gleam of the elevator. Western in design, the condo had large panes of tinted glass kept out the sun and the cool hardwood floors left it cool within, especially with the weather turning warmer.

As soon as Akashi had unlocked the door and put down his bag on the counter – Kuroko following suit mutely – he grabbed the small boy's shoulders tightly. It wasn't unpleasant or painful, rather, Kuroko felt comforted by the security. Ever since the fight with Seirin, he'd been drifting. Someone giving structure to his rag doll body was a relief.

They sat down on the plush couch. The soft fabric slipped under his fingers like water, making him feel like he was on a cloud.

Akashi's voice was quiet and firm. "What was that all about?" He shook him gently and Kuroko followed the motion easily, letting Akashi's presence envelope him. He always felt safe around Akashi. Although, the sudden dependence he was developing with his captain was scaring him. He knew that it was a dangerous slope, a stupid one. This kind of vulnerability was not him. He wasn't a weak person, needing someone to guide him like a baby.

And he knew that if he needed to depend on someone, Akashi was not the one that he should be leaning on. It just wasn't right…

"Tetsuya," Akashi said a little sharper. "I sent you out to get some drinks and snacks. What happened?"

"I –" Kuroko swallowed, although his throat was completely dry. Maybe that was what the swallow was for. "I went to get them. I did. Everything was fine for a while, just…" he paused, mind drifting back to the moment. It was easy to do, now that they were alone. He felt calm, with Akashi's warm jeweled eyes on him. "When I came out again, suddenly they were there. Calling out to me."

"I felt – ambushed. Backed into a corner. All those feelings resurfaced suddenly and I was paralyzed. I wanted to run away but couldn't. And then – bam. It happened. The anger. It just replaced everything. I felt that disdain. I felt strong." His glance flickered from the wrinkles of the fabric at the crook of Akashi's knee, up his lean torso, and fixed itself on a place under Akashi's chin.

Akashi's face was always perfectly smooth, no sign of a five o'clock shadow anywhere in its vicinity. However, he did know that Akashi shaved– had seen the new razor blades that the service had delivered to their doorstep.

Having a company that dropped off anything to one's doorstep. That's something Kuroko would've never thought to do in a million years, and now he couldn't get enough of it.

It was strange having these tiny luxuries – it made sense, since the move from Kyoto to Tokyo had been done at such short notice –delivery services, and a maid, or a dry cleaner for their socks. He had fallen into Akashi's lifestyle, something so foreign to him at times that he couldn't help but smile. Every new experience felt like a privilege. A glimpse into the life of Akashi Seijuuro that probably no one else had the chance of ever seeing before.

The first of these being that now Akashi shaved. It had only been less than a year since things the Generation of Miracles had split, and yet so much had already changed. So much.

"I was just so angry. That they could still ask me all those questions – look so shocked like I was in the wrong. Like I had done something to hurt them. It was so stupid! So infuriating!" Kuroko's breathless laugh was changing to soundless gasps, the grin turning feral. "Like I had ever done anything to deserve what they did to me – how they treated me. With everything that I had ever done for them, all that I had given of my life to them!"

Warm hands ran up Kuroko's shoulders and down his forearms over and over. In the short time span for Kuroko to change moods again, he had gotten terribly cold. Akashi had also found it the best way to calm the shadow.

Kuroko rarely was touched due to his invisibility. Transparency like his was a very powerful shield against most casual contact and Kuroko had never been the most outgoing of souls to initiate it himself.

Akashi hushed him quietly. His fingers worked deep into the stiff muscles on Kuroko's clavicle, working up the next in a light massage. His skin was warm, a little hard from the constant basketball practice and horse riding, but it still felt nice. A hand rose to touch Kuroko's soft hair, threading itself in the locks. A brush hesitantly brushed across his face.

Kuroko's eyes shut. He breathed soundlessly.

"It's okay. It's okay. They're not here anymore."

Akashi bit his lip as he pulled away. It was sad to feel the sensation go. At least one of his hands lingered over Kuroko's arm.

"You know, I was one of those people as well," Akashi said quietly. There was no defense in his eyes, just plainness.

Kuroko blinked. Then gave a sad smile. "Yes, but you came back in the end." He reached out towards Akashi but dropped the hand.

If Kuroko was in distress, touch was fine. It was a good way to calm him down. But any other time, touch between the two of them was awkward, like some kind of loophole that they forgot to close or address. Now neither of them knew what to do with it or where to go. So it continued to hang there, the last end of an unspoken promise.

Kuroko cleared his throat, rubbing the useless hand against his neck. "It's different," Kuroko said certainly. He might not be completely healed, but this was something that he was certain of the night that Akashi came to rescue him when no one else did. That the red head was forgiven, always and completely. "You're different."

Akashi attempted a half-hearted smile. It didn't reach his eyes, which were still filled with uncertainty. "Well, good."

Suddenly aware of how little space was between them, the captain cleared his throat and got up. The popcorn, freshly popped about twenty minutes ago was well on its way to being stale by now. They had been just about to fire up a movie – The Bad Seed – one of those old classics that Tetsuya really loved and Akashi fairly tolerated due to the fact that it was completely in English and it centered on the idea that people could be born evil from the start.

That kind of psychology attracted him thoroughly. Kuroko could see why.

"Are you hungry yet?" Akashi cracked open the coffee cans, slightly dented from the bones that they hit on the previous basketball players. "I could make something?"

"Are you going to try to cook fish again?" Kuroko called out. He couldn't help but smile at the thought of Akashi frowning down at the smoking oven again, as if it was a dog that simply wouldn't do as it was told.

"All masters were apprentices at one point," the taller boy declared flatly. "And it won't happen again."

"We had to use the fire extinguisher," he reminded him lightly.

"I thought the oven was in Fahrenheit."

"Something that I'll never quite figure out," Kuroko quipped snidely.

Akashi did a classic glare. A sliver of something crazier and angrier slipped into the gaze, but disappeared just as quickly.

Kuroko stayed silent, watching.

Akashi sighed, looking tired suddenly. "Sorry."

"It's okay," Kuroko murmured. And he meant it. Akashi's own demons were just as cruel, even more so than Kuroko's. While his simply injured and wounded himself, his captain's demons hurt everyone around him. And he couldn't help but feel for that.

The Akashi that he knew wasn't that heartless person…but then again, he wasn't that pure and hardworking leader that had discovered his special skill. He had changed that last year at Teikou and there was no doubt it denying it. He was something new now, in between the two extremes. Something of a dual-personality, one side sharp and unmerciful, the other dull and strong, like a katana. And such a beautiful masterpiece was nothing near terrible.

And Kuroko ... yes … could deal with that. He could accept something like that.

He jolted out of his stupor as Akashi slammed the freezer door. He had almost gone there again. And it was getting more common the more time they spent with each other.

Deal with? Deal with what? Akashi's demons?

Sure, maybe it was Kuroko's breakdown that had caused Akashi to wake up, even a little, but deal with them like he could heal them? That was too self-confident of him. Too righteous.

Akashi was here to help him out, help him get on his own two feet again. He wasn't here to baby him or hire him as a therapist. Kuroko could barely take care of himself at this point, let alone help Akashi, who had been functioning more or less fine without him for all this time.

But still – he had been selfish and pigheaded like all the others that you depended on. Even if he's redeeming himself now, it was only because of you.

Kuroko smacked the invisible voice that lingered in his head. No. He had forgiven Akashi. He had seen the older boy in the last few weeks since all of this had happened. It was completely different from the terrifying monster that had replaced his friend before.

And that wasn't the same thing. Akashi had been lost, but Kuroko was broken. They were not on the same level.

His focus right now was to get better and not be a burden on Akashi. Their ... friendship and Akashi's condition could all be focused on later. Besides, Akashi was the kind of boy to deal with things easily once he knew about them. He didn't need him to make changes to himself. That much was certain from past experience.

Kuroko watched as Akashi checked the oven for a third time before slipping in the pre-made meal. It was something with a fancy French name, but he knew that there was lamb in there somewhere. Akashi worked with a smooth fluidity as he measured out the rice. Kuroko had picked out the rice cooker when they first moved here – Akashi didn't know anything about cooking rice. Now he was doing it like a pro.

The thoughts did their job to sober him up. This wasn't a permanent situation. It was just for now. He was broken, and Akashi was going to fix him, like he always seemed to be able to before the downfall.

Just what was Akashi giving up in order to do this for him? Rent the place for him – transfer him to Rakuzan? Give up his tranquil Winter holidays to stay with him?

He didn't know. Akashi rarely said more than a reassuring 'don't worry about it' before changing the topic quickly. And if those things weren't proof that the red head had changed for the better, Kuroko didn't know what else did.

He wished he knew. He wished he could do more, to take the load off of Akashi. But even if he did know, there wouldn't be much difference he could do. His situation was still the same and he was still relying on Akashi's support in everything. He just had to get better as quickly as possible so whatever Akashi was doing, he didn't have to do it for long.

Kuroko bit his lip, drawing a pillow close to his chest. They were so close, and yet so far.

At that point, his landlord and roommate looked up. "Well? Are you going to help?"

He put the pillow down quickly and came over to his side of the counter. "With what?"

"Dinner."

"You know I can only boil eggs," Kuroko said flatly. "And make rice. I taught you half of my entire cooking arsenal."

"I know. And we're going to fix that," Akashi declared. Pot telling the kettle that they'll both be painted pink. "Later. But I wasn't talking about food."

With a lighthearted flourish, the captain pulled out a tall bottle. "A young Cabernet to go with our lamb." Akashi winked at Kuroko, who was giving him the best of his blank stares. It didn't seem to ruffle the budding wine fanatic.

"The fruity flavor will go perfectly with our meal and movie. I thought I'd teach you how to uncork a wine bottle tonight." He winked and tugged at the drawer by Kuroko's hip.

The smaller boy stumbled back far enough for Akashi to pull out something that looked like a corkscrew with metal wings hooked on both sides.

"That looks like a murder weapon," Kuroko deadpanned.

Akashi grinned. "It's close enough."

"We're not even of a legal age to drink yet," he protested. "How did you even get that? Did it come with your delivery system or something?"

"It did, actually," he answered smugly.

Kuroko was unamused.

With only the briefest of hesitations, brushed a hand through his charge's hair. "Don't worry. You won't get drunk, I promise you. It's only to try." His fingers stopped and pulled back slowly. "If that's okay with you, of course."

Kuroko looked up. Those eyes. He used to hate the gold. It symbolized something bad. The end of one of the best times of his life. A change that would never revert back, no matter what he did.

"It's okay."

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