Chapter 2: Not Such a Know-it-all

Camille actually bumped into Keenan at the market, when she was on her way into the station. She knew she would probably be late if she stopped to talk to him (which would cause Richard to grumble, though he would never dare directly berate her for it) but she considered it worth the risk.

"So," she began, after the usual exchange of pleasantries. "Got any special events coming up at the marine reserve at all? It would be good to have an excuse to drag Richard out there again."

Keenan shrugged, "I've heard vague talk of them holding a fund raising event – but there is some hesitancy since apparently somebody got murdered at the last one. Which nobody told me before I signed up to do my PhD here!"

"Ah, yes, of course you weren't around at the time," Camille realised. "Well don't worry, we arrested all the people involved, I am sure you are all quite safe to hold another."

"Well, that is a relief, they were winding me up about how the police always thought one conspirator had gotten away." Camille gave him a sympathetic look, it must be difficult being the junior member of the staff. Especially when you were enthusiastic about octopuses, rather than the cute marine mammals and pretty fish everyone else likes. Seeing the look, Keenan came over all indignant and said firmly, "Obviously I didn't believe them!"

"Obviously," Camille replied.

Seemingly satisfied he believed her, Keenan suggested brightly, "You could always come do our beginners diving course!"

She shook her head immediately, and Keenan looked disappointed his idea hadn't gone down well. She imagined he was keen to have somebody to chat to about octopuses again. "Sorry, I suggested that to Richard before, there is no way he would ever do it."

"Can you not convince him to be a bit adventurous?"

Camille snorted with amusement. "What you have to understand is that Richard's idea of an adventure is to close his eyes and pick a jelly baby at random!"

"Um, how else do you eat jelly babies except at random?"

"Well, if you are Richard, you spend an agonising amount of time debating the merits and disadvantages of consuming each flavour," she said. Keenan laughed, clearly thinking she was making it up, but when she didn't join him he realised she was perfectly serious.

"Oh," Keenan said. "Well I would have thought you were the sort of woman who could get her man to do anything!"

"He's not my man!" She said, tone alarmed. Not because the thought of it was horrific, obviously, but because any sort of comment along those lines made by Keenan to Richard could bring the whole delicate house of cards that was their nascent relationship tumbling down. "I mean, not like that, we're just….friends…at the moment." Camille seemed to have lost her ability to explain things clearly.

Keenan stared at the ground for a few seconds and just as Camille was considering making her excuses and leaving, he perked up, "I could always take you diving!"

Camille initially thought he was just being nice, than she realised how hopeful and nervous he looked. Did she attract divers or something? He was a sweet boy but at twenty two, really not much more than that. "Oh, that is very nice Keenan, but don't you think I am a bit old for you?"

Keenan gave a great, heartfelt sigh, "Well, I could say something like 'what has age got to do with love' but the truth is there aren't many pretty women who don't think it's weird I like octopuses, so I thought it was worth a shot asking."

Camille smiled at him, feeling rather maternal towards the graduate student all of a sudden, "I am sure there is the perfect young woman out there for you, who simply loves octopuses and squids and all sorts of cephalopods!"

"Actually, I really liked this girl who came to the reserve for one of the diving trips the other day. I hung about for when she was getting back and everything, fully intending on asking her out, but it all went a bit pear shaped when she launched into a rant about being attacked by an angry cuttlefish," he told her, luckily shooting her a grin that gave Camille permission to laugh at the ridiculous image. "I think that was a strong indicator she was not the girl for me! She was really serious about it as well, wanted us to take some sort of action, I did try to explain why it couldn't be the case but, well…It wouldn't surprise me if she turned up at the station to report the assault!"

"Oh well in that case I better forewarn Richard!" Camille said her goodbyes and hurried off to the station. She reckoned Richard was going to enjoy this story!

Richard didn't actually grumble, despite her being late, because he was too busy staring intently at the contents of that little metal tin. Now he knew she knew he didn't bother to try and keep it a secret anymore. It also helped that she didn't particularly like them and so there was very little chance she would steal one. Camille was more of a chocolate girl.

"What's the matter?" She asked as she perched herself on the edge of his desk.

He took a few more moments of contemplation before replying, "Well, I always feel the orange ones go best with a cup of tea, which I currently have, but there are only two of those left. There are lots of black ones, but I find they overwhelm the tea, and of course the red ones are my favourite so I should probably save those…"

"Why don't you just have a green one?" She cut in, noticing the disproportionate number of those left and hoping not to have to endure his entire sequence of logic, she did after all have news she wished to share.

He cringed, "The green ones are lime flavoured. I know they don't taste particularly like lime but even the knowledge is enough to put me off. I save those ones for when I am really desperate and don't have much choice."

Recalling her earlier conversation with Keenan, with a small smile she suggested, "Oh why don't you just be adventurous, close your eyes and pick one at random?"

Richard nodded thoughtfully, apparently accepting her suggestion, "Yes, not a bad idea, live a little! But…"

"But not too much!" She finished for him with a grin. Richard screwed his eyes shut and delved a hand into the tin, picking a sweet and random and popping it into his mouth without looking at the choice. He chewed, and instantly frowned. "What's the matter?"

"Green one," he said with a sigh – a disappointing end to his adventure it seemed.

"Never mind," she told him brightly. "I have a story that will cheer you up!"

"Oh?"

"I bumped into Keenan in the market -"

"Which is why you were late?"

Ah, so he had noticed. "Yes, that is why I was a little bit late. Anyway he told me this great story about how a tourist came back from a diving trip to claim she was assaulted by an angry cuttlefish and demanding something be done about it!"

Richard had been reaching for his tea, probably trying to wash the lime taste out of his mouth when she declared this and he slammed the mug back down with force. "OH FOR GOD'S SAKE!" He shouted, surprisingly enraged. "What next? A turtle committing fraud? A murderous sea cucumber? A porpoise with nefarious purposes? For Christ's sake it's the animal's bloody territory, they were probably just defending it – that is if she even was attacked and isn't blowing a little curious prod with a tentacle completely out of proportion!"

It was quite sweet, really, his indignation on the creature's behalf. Richard had failed to pick up on one of the key points that she thought he would have taken glee in pointing out, pendant that he was. That meant she had a chance to impress him. "Yes, and of course it is completely impossible she was attacked by a cuttlefish."

He sat back, frowning, "Well, no, if it felt threatened it might have attempted to scare her off with behaviour that could be constituted as threatening."

Richard's response meant he must have forgotten something key. So she decided to be more direct, "No, I meant she can't have been attacked by a cuttlefish because there are no cuttlefish in the Caribbean. Or off the coast of any of the Americas."

She received a disbelieving look. "There must be cuttlefish in the Americas. We have them in Europe so why wouldn't they be on this side of the Atlantic? And if she didn't see a cuttlefish what did she see?"

Camille shrugged, she was disappointed (and a little surprised) he hadn't known that fact - meaning he was not going to be impressed by her knowledge after all. "A Caribbean squid probably. They look quite a lot like cuttlefish." She leaned over and typed it into google, indicating the images that came up. "See what I mean?"

"Well, yes…But my point about there must being cuttlefish somewhere around here still stands."

"You don't believe me?" She huffed, crossing her arms.

"No, I just think you're mistaken."

"Which is just a slightly nicer way of saying you don't believe me!" She protested, really quite annoyed with him. But then an idea occurred to Camille, she realised she had a chance to use his arrogance to her advantage. "Why don't we bet on it?"

"You sure? You lost the last one!" He pointed out – clearly feeling confident.

"I won the time before though," she reminded him, and he stopped looking so smug. "Chickening out are you?"

"No!" He said instantly, goaded into denial by her teasing. "So, um, we playing for drinks again?"

"Ye- no, actually," she said, an idea forming. "Not just drinks this time. I think we should bet for dinner."

"Dinner?" This clearly surprised him. "Where?"

Camille had a few ideas, but she didn't think anything would be gained by debating it now, "Well whoever wins will pick, how does that sound?"

"Fair, I suppose."

Camille looked at him, expecting him to formally accept the bet, but he still looked hesitant. It was time to force his hand again, "Well are we betting or not?"

Another few moments of thought followed before he suddenly came over all resolved and declared, "Yes, yes, it's a bet." Camille returned to her desk, knowing that Richard would now spend the next half hour (possibly longer) pointlessly attempting to find a species of cuttlefish living in the Americas.

"In answer to your earlier question, by the time the cuttlefish family evolved in the Old Word the Atlantic had become too cold and deep for these warm water creatures to cross." At least, that was pretty sure that was what she had read…

"Camille, first off, I don't think cuttlefish can be called warm water creatures. We have them off the coast of the UK, and as somebody who was repeatedly forced into the North Sea as a child I can assure there is nothing warm about it." Camille couldn't help but smile at the image of Richard as a boy reluctantly splashing about in the sea. "And secondly, that is nearly a direct quote from Wikipedia."

Camille shifted, a little embarrassed he had located her main source of information for her recent research into marine biology. Then said boldly, "Oh so you're on their realising I am right, then?"

"Wikipedia isn't the world's most reliable source of information!" He snapped back, confirming she was right. Camille hoped he wouldn't insist on consulting any academics before he finally gave in.

She was surprisingly patient for the thirty five minutes it took before Richard was ready to admit defeat. It was quite fun watching him getting increasingly flustered as every avenue of investigation repeatedly showed that she was, in fact, correct. Eventually he threw a pen down, and glanced at the telephone, and Camille knew exactly what he was thinking.

"Are you going to call up Keenan just too doubly make sure you are wrong and I am right?"

Richard shot her a quelling look, but she just grinned back at him. "No, no, I guess there is no need for that. You win."

"Because I was right," she pointed out again.

Richard, who knew by now exactly what Camille expected from him, quickly acquiesced and agreed, "Because you were right." She gave him one of her best smiles, which seemed to embarrass him. He cleared his throat, "I'll confess I am impressed by your marine biology knowledge."

This pleased Camille even more, and her smile only got bigger. "Oh yes, I've been doing some reading myself, learned quite a few interesting facts"

"You have?" He prompted as he reached for his largely now cold tea, clearly wishing her to share a few.

"Yes, for example, did you know that barnacles have the longest penis to body size ratio of any animal?"

This caused Richard to choke so badly on the tea he was drinking Camille actually got up to pat him on the back and make sure he was ok. She was pretty certain it wasn't caused by disbelief at the fact, it was probably more to do with her daring to say the word 'penis' out loud. Camille resolved to be careful in her choice of conversation topics for dinner. She hardly thought the date would be classed as successful if she caused Richard to choke to death on his starter.

A/N: Next story in the sequence, Fruits de Mer (unless I think of something more clever) will be up…at some point?