To: Thor

From: Loki

Dearest not-brother, may I ask why there is a pair of your underwear huddled under my bed?

To: Loki

From: Thor

BROTHER! I have no idea as to what you are speaking of. I did not put my most private of clothing under your bed.

To: Thor

From: Loki

Well, person-who-is-not-in-any-way-related-to-me, these are definitely your 'most private of clothing'. They have your name embroidered in the waistband.

To: Loki

From: Steve

Loki, do you have ANY idea what Thor is asking us when he asks 'Who has been moving and/or repositioning my most secret of clothing items?'?

To: Fury

From: Natasha

Fury, Thor just asked me if I've been playing with his underwear. I think we need a vacation. NOW.

To: Natasha

From: Fury

Have you?

To: Tony

From: Loki

I am NOT amused. Thor is an idiot. There is salt all over my floor. Why did you tell him the evil elves were playing with his clothing? He's having nightmares. He's sleeping with YOU tonight.

To: Bruce

From: Thor

FRIEND YOU MUST BE CAREFUL! THE EVIL ELVES HAVE BEEN DRIVEN FROM MY ROOM BUT YOU ARE THE NEXT VICTIM! PLEASE GUARD YOUR MOST PRIVATE OF CLOTHING!

To: Fury

From: Bruce

VACATION. NOW. HULK DEMANDS A VACATION.

To: Bruce

From: Fury

No

To: Tony

From: Loki

If I catch you one more time trying to sneak in here and mess with Thor's underwear, I swear by the Antlers of Odin Gallowsfather I will string you up by your testicles for seven days and seven nights. You shall know pain and humiliation beyond your years. I'm not kidding, Stark.

To: Loki

From: Fury

Let him down, please. Natasha thinks it's hilarious but the boys are all walking funny and crying a little.

To: Fury

From: Loki

Make me.

To: Loki

From: Bruce

Loki, I'll give you anything you want if you just let Stark down. Clint's crying in the corner and Natasha won't stop making ball jokes. Please.

To: Bruce

From: Loki

Anything?

To: Loki

From: Bruce

Yes.

To: Fury

From: Clint

First Stark and his hanging. Now we have to listen to Loki and Bruce screaming their orgasms from every damn room in the Tower. VACATION. NOW. OR I START KILLING PEOPLE.

To: Loki

From: Fury

The bet was that you'd to get sex from Banner, make Clint cry, AND get a vacation, right?

To: Fury

From: Loki

Yes.

To: Loki

From: Fury

And hanging Tony by his balls?...

To: Fury

From: Loki

That was an extra treat.

To: Loki

From Fury

Well done. I'll have your 10$ tomorrow.