Chapter Five

This had to be the worst week I've ever had.

No, we weren't defeated by Rita and Zedd (knock on wood), although we did have to go into battle. But we won fairly easily.

No, I didn't get a lot of homework.

No, I didn't get into a fight with any of my family members or friends.

So, what is it that made this such a bad week, you ask?

Having to keep a secret from Adam.

I hate this. I hate not being able to tell him everything anymore. It's bad enough I had to start lying to and keeping secrets from my parents after I became a ranger, but to have to keep a huge secret from my boyfriend is extremely difficult.

And I don't know what to do about Rocky. Things between us are so awkward right now. And we're trying to make it seem as if nothing happened between us in front of our other friends, which just makes it a more maladroit situation.

But I think I might have something to do with that awkwardness between us, too.

I know before I used to think that I wouldn't be able to view Rocky as more than a friend. But lately, I've been doubting that thought. Sometimes, when Adam kisses me, I can't help but imagine it's Rocky kissing me. Other times, even when I'm not with Adam, I sort of wish I could get another kiss from Rocky. And after school one day, Rocky was working out in the gym of the Youth Center - shirtless. I couldn't help but stare. I never really noticed it before, but Rocky is really handsome. But would I be willing to break up with Adam to go out with Rocky? Would I even have the guts to do something like that?

And why the hell do I wish to be romantically involved with Rocky sometimes?

Is it just because of the fact that I know that he loves me? Or would I start to love him as more than a friend even if we hadn't hooked up at the dance? Does this whole situation trace back to the fact that I didn't pay attention to Rocky's feelings before? Probably, right? I mean, if only I was a better friend to Rocky, what happened at the dance would, A) most likely not have happened at all; or B) wouldn't be as awkward as it is.

Everything is so confusing. If I break up with Adam, whether I do it to go out with Rocky or not, it would bring an end to Rocky's misery. But then Adam would be upset. Especially if I dumped Adam for his best friend. Even shy, soft-spoken Adam would become angry. And if I keep going out with Adam, Rocky will just feel worse. Which will make me feel worse.

I don't know what to do. I know seeing me with Adam kills Rocky. Every time we're together and Rocky's around, an envious glare glistens in his eye and his behavior changes completely. And I hate knowing I'm the cause of all that.

Most of you are probably saying, "You shouldn't blame yourself for everything. It's not your fault." No offense, but you guys don't know what you're talking about.

Think about it. It's me that Rocky's in love with. It's me that breaks Rocky's heart almost every day when I'm with my boyfriend. Every emotion that Rocky feels seems to always revolve around me.

I wish this whole thing never happened. I don't want to remember it, but it's a hard thing to forget.

You know, my parents have been talking about moving away from Angel Grove. To tell you the truth, I kind of want to go.

Actually, let me rephrase that. I need to go. I need to get away from everything here in Angel Grove. (See, this is one of the things that confuses me. First, I only want to be with Adam. Then, I noticed how good-looking Rocky really is, and I want him to kiss me again. Now I feel as if I need to get away from both of them.) And it's not just my mess with Rocky. It's this thing with being a Power Ranger. I'm tired of going into battle every day. I'm tired of knowing each battle could be my last. I'm tired of keeping so many secrets (that includes being a Ranger and having hooked up with Rocky). What teenager should have to go through all this? All I want is a normal life - no monsters, no secrets.

Truthfully, I really hope my parents decide to move away. Sure, I'd miss everything. I'd miss my friends like crazy. And I'd probably be homesick for Angel Grove. But those things are normal for a teenager to go through. Battles with monsters aren't. I really do want to leave Angel Grove.

Maybe then I could get my normal life.

The End -- Stay Tuned For The Sequel!!

A/N: That's right! I'm going to write a sequel to this. It will be an A/U world, where Aisha leaves Angel Grove instead of Kim and everything. I hope you guys will stick around to read it!