The Beginning

We were laying down now, talking, trying to catch up on each other's lives. He was on his side, propped up on one elbow playing with my hair, kissing me occasionally. I touched his face sometimes as he talked, unable to believe that he was really, truly here with me. It still felt like a dream. I wanted to stay here with him forever.

Even though we were together, it was still painful to talk about the separation. We both had lived half lives, trying to function well enough that our families didn't worry about us, trying to make new lives, but so afraid to trust ourselves, and so bewildered. It was hard to move past something, to come to terms with it, when you couldn't make any sense of it.

I asked him if he'd dated while we were apart. I wouldn't have blamed him if he'd had.

"No. Well, I did go on one date; my roommate set me up with someone last year. He knew something had happened in my past, though not what, of course, but he told me I was overthinking it. That I didn't have to want to be with someone forever to date them, that I didn't have to be serious at all. Just to try to have fun. So I went, and she seemed like a nice enough girl. We talked about where we grew up and things like that. While we were eating our appetizers, she excused herself to use the rest room. Then right as our meals came, she got a phone call and had to leave. I think she called someone while in the bathroom to ask for an emergency call to get her out of there."

"What? Why?" I was offended on his behalf, which really was kind of ridiculous. "There's nothing wrong with you."

He shrugged. "I think I may have mentioned you too much. I didn't mean to, but…" He shrugged again. "I had her food boxed up so at least she still got dinner out of it. How about you? You date anyone?"

"No- I had a couple of guys ask me out in college, but I wasn't interested. There was one guy who was particularly persistent, dense about it almost, but finally even he gave up. It was a relief. I just wanted them to leave me alone." He had a weird look on his face. "What?"

"It's so strange—one the one hand, I wish that you had dated, because I want you to always be happy, but on the other hand, I'm glad you didn't. That's selfish, though. I want you to be happy more." He kissed me. I wouldn't let him pull away.

"Edward," I whispered against his mouth, "if you're selfish then I am, too. I feel the exact same way."

We had lain there for a while, staring up at the sky, when I remembered something he had said. "So Jessica actually cut all of you guys with the knife?"

"Yeah, we were trying to surround her and she kept swinging the knife around to keep us back. There was blood all over. It was gross."

I shuddered. I still couldn't believe it. I mean, she had always seemed a little fake, but not like a homicidal maniac. Poor Edward.

"Where…?" I didn't know if I should ask.

"Did she get us? My dad on his forearm—fortunately not so deeply that his muscles or nerves were permanently damaged. He has no problem still doing surgery. Emmett on his upper arm and his cheek."

I gasped. "Oh no, his face?"

He rolled his eyes. "Don't feel sorry for him—he's happy. He thinks he looks like a pirate and says all the ladies love it. Maybe he's right—he's dating Rosalie Hale now, you know, the model?"

I had no interest in fashion, but even I knew who Rosalie Hale was. She was almost unnaturally beautiful. And she was dating Emmett? "Um, wow. Maybe he is right." We both laughed.

He didn't say anything more, so I nudged him. "And you?"

He silently showed me: a slash high on his arm near his shoulder, and the other on his side, low across his ribs.

I kissed the scar on his arm. It didn't look too horrible, all things considered. The scar on his side was longer and looked like it might have been deeper. That crazy psycho was lucky she was locked up. I ran my finger along it and leaned over to kiss it, but I had barely reached it when he dragged me back up and rolled on top of me, kissing me fiercely.

"Hey," I complained weakly, when I had gotten enough breath back, "I wasn't finished with that one." He actually growled at me in response, and I burst out laughing and hugged him, hard. I had missed him so much.

He pulled away a little and grinned at me, then rolled us over so he was on his back and I was half sprawled over him, my head on his shoulder and his arm around me.

"Don't worry," I said sweetly. "I'll finish it some other time."

"No, you won't."

"But, Edward…" I picked my head up and looked innocently at him. "I want to kiss it and make it better." His eyes were huge. I put my head back down and tried not to laugh.

He grumbled, "Stop it. You're just trying to make me burst into flames."

"You know, the grocery store has a…a walk-in freezer. We could…go …in there…and…" I was giggling too much to finish.

He kissed the top of my head, laughing. "You're so ridiculous. I love you." Then he froze, barely breathing, like he'd said something wrong.

There was a long moment of silence; his reaction had made me freeze, too. "Um, I'm sorry," he said.

I shifted slowly to lay more on my side and propped my head up on my hand so I could see him. His arm fell away from me and I immediately felt cold. It had nothing to do with the weather; it actually was warm out today. His face was tense and his eyes were closed.

"Why?" I sounded disturbingly calm, much calmer than I felt.

"What?"

"Why are you sorry?" I clarified.

"I'm sorry if I upset you." His voice was quiet. "I shouldn't have said it-I know it's too soon. I'll wait as long as you need; we'll do this however you want, but please, Bella. Please don't… Don't be upset."

I looked at him and I could see the person he'd been, the person who'd seen the pictures and vomited in the trash can, the person who'd felt his body ripped open and emptied and his world turned on its head, the person who'd thought that if this could happen then anything could happen and that the world was senseless and scary.

I saw myself.

And I knew what he was really saying.

"Edward," I said, equally quiet, "you didn't upset me. At all. And I'm not going to leave you." He turned his head sharply to look at me. "What, you think I'm not scared of that, too? We'll do this however we need to, however is best for you, but you need to know that I love you, too. I will always love you."

His eyes were so green. "Bella, I love you, too. Forever." He smiled a little. "And we'll do this however is best for you."

I leaned forward and kissed him. "Since what I want is to never be away from you again for the rest of my life, you may want to rethink that."

He pulled me closer. Right before he kissed me he said, "I think that sounds perfect."

I was seriously considering the possibility of living permanently on this blanket with Edward, when I heard car doors slam out front. Whoever it was, Charlie could deal with them. Then I heard Alice laughing.

"You have got to be kidding me," I muttered against Edward's mouth. I wasn't going to stop kissing him. She could go away.

He rolled his eyes, and kissed his way down to my neck. "She's Alice. We're lucky she left us alone as long as she did."

I leaned my head back to give him better access and tried not to moan. He was driving me crazy.

I heard the gate open and close.

"Oh, Eeeedddwaaaard," Alice sang. "You need to get off of Bella—Mom and Dad are here. You don't want to scandalize them, do you?"

He kissed his way along my jaw. "They have children, Alice. I doubt this they'll find this scandalous."

"Hey, Bella!" Her voice was too close. I opened my eyes; she was sitting a foot away from us on the blanket, staring at me. "So, did you guys talk at all, or did you just make out all afternoon?"

"Go away." I closed my eyes again and tried to ignore her.

"What did he say? What did you say? Are you back together? I mean, it looks like you're back together, but sometimes appearances are deceiving. And—"

Was she seriously trying to have this conversation right now? Edward stopped kissing me and buried his face in my hair.

She pushed at his shoulder. "Come on, you have to get up!" She hopped up and started singing, "Get…up, get up, get up; get up, get up, right now," to the tune of Row, Row, Row Your Boat. I stared at her in disbelief as Edward started laughing. She was dancing around the blanket now. She was insane.

I heard Jasper laugh. He was leaning against the fence watching her. I pulled my hands out of Edward's hair and covered my face. This was unbelievable.

"Come on, Bella!" She rolled Edward off me with her foot and grabbed my wrist to pull me up. He and Jasper were still laughing.

"Why on earth did you bring your parents over here, Alice?" I tried finger-combing my hair but it wasn't going well. I didn't even want to think about what I looked like. Edward came over and dusted off my back. His hair was sticking out every which way, so I ran my hands through it, trying to make it look less like we'd been laying on a blanket for hours. He leaned down to kiss me but Alice pulled me away.

Had she always been this bossy? Why had I missed her so much?

"You guys can kiss each other later. And I brought them over so we can get this first meeting over with. You don't want it hanging over your head like a guillotine, do you?"

"What lovely imagery, Alice," Edward said dryly. He had caught up to us and taken my hand. At least Alice allowed us that.

"Besides, we brought pizza. I know I interrupted your breakfast and I didn't think you would have eaten anything yet." My stomach growled as though on cue and we all laughed.

We met Jasper at the fence and he gave me a hug. "Hey, Bella. It's good to see you. And sorry—I held her off as long as I could. But you know how she is." He grinned at me and she smacked his arm. He picked her up—he was as tall as Edward—and kissed her.

Edward said in a martyred tone, "Oh, fine. We're not allowed to kiss…" He harassed Alice and Jasper all the way to the door. It was so much fun being part of this dynamic again.

We trooped noisily into the house. Esme and Carlisle were sitting on the couch—I took one look at her and immediately stopped caring what I looked like. She looked like she'd been crying the entire time Edward and I had been on the blanket. I took a step towards her and then stopped, feeling awkward. I wasn't sure what she'd be most comfortable with. She got up and held her hand out to me, and when I walked forward and took it she hugged me.

"Bella, I'm so sorry." She was crying. "I should never have done that at the grocery store; I was just so surprised to see you and things with Edward were so…" She trailed off like she didn't have words. "But I didn't mean to hurt you and I'm so sorry."

I patted her back a little awkwardly. Alice had said she felt guilty but I hadn't expected all this. "Esme, it's ok, really. Really. It is. Let's just forget about it, ok? Neither of us knew what was really going on."

She sniffled. "I'm so happy to see you again, sweetie."

I closed my eyes and fought back tears. I had missed this.

I looked up when another pair of arms wrapped around us. "Hi Bella," Carlisle said softly. He kissed Esme on the head and then me.

Charlie was talking to Edward across the room, looking awkward. He clapped him on the back, then said loudly, "All right, everyone. How about we eat?"

Things seemed almost shockingly normal, as though the last five years had never happened. We pulled chairs in from the kitchen and all sat around the living room eating and talking, the sports channel on low in the background.

The pizza was almost gone when Alice said conversationally, "So, do you want to share your wedding with me and Jasper or do you want one of your own? I'll help you plan it if you do."

There was complete silence. We all stared at her with varying degrees of shock. My father was the worst; he looked like he was about to have an aneurysm.

"What? You can't tell me it isn't going to happen. I know these things." She smiled angelically at us.

"Alice," Esme murmured reproachfully. "I think you're pushing things too fast right now. Let them be."

"But these things take time! We can't just do it at the last minute."

Edward said flatly, "Alice, if you keep nagging us I'm going to take Bella to Vegas right now, and you won't have any part in our wedding except a picture of us at the drive-through chapel." Jasper and Carlisle burst out laughing and even Charlie laughed a little, though he still looked a bit shocked at the thought of us getting married. Esme was beaming, probably because Edward had admitted he wanted to marry me. Alice balled up her napkin and threw it at him. He batted it back towards her and continued, "This is up to me and Bella. Stay out of it."

Alice shifted her attention to me. "Bella, what do you want to do? You don't want to go to Vegas, do you?" She said it like it was the most horribly vile thing she could think of. Knowing her, it probably was.

Honestly, I was all for the Vegas plan. I was for any plan that meant I never had to leave Edward. But I supposed we should do this responsibly and at least discuss the options.

I said slowly, "I think that Edward and I need to talk about this." I shifted so my feet were flat on the floor. "Alone." I leapt up, dragging him with me, and bolted for the door. "So, we're going to go do that! Bye!"

I could hear everyone laughing back in the house as we ran for his car and jumped in. The tires screeched as he pulled away, driving so fast you'd have thought we were being chased by zombies. Or Alice.

He pulled over when we were about a mile north of town. We looked at each other and started laughing hysterically.

"Holy crap…Alice…she's out of control," I gasped.

He was trying to catch his breath, "I know, I know, Jasper is going to have his hands full."

"Going to!" I was doubled over, trying to breathe. I kept having to giggle.

He turned in his seat, and looked at me, smiling. I lost my breath again for a second. He was just so beautiful.

"Bella, I don't want to pressure you, at all, and I certainly wouldn't have brought it up yet, but what do you want to do? Just for the record, I wasn't joking when I said I would take you to Vegas. Right now." He grinned at me.

I reached for his hand. "Edward…honestly, it doesn't matter to me. I just want to be with you."

"Well, that's a given, right? We're going to be together no matter what. So I guess the question is, what kind of wedding do you want? Big and noisy, small and intimate? Vegas drive-through? Do you want to be a bridezilla?" I started laughing. "Or do you want to live in sin?" He winked at me.

"Not living in sin," I gasped, trying to catch my breath, "Alice would harass us on a daily basis about having a wedding."

He laughed, "Yeah, good point. Scratch that." He sobered. "Don't feel like we have to get married at all if you don't want to. We can wait as long as you want. I don't want to pressure you."

"Edward, since I'm seriously contemplating the merits of an immediate drive to Vegas, I'd say you don't need to worry about pressuring me."

He looked relieved. Really, did he think I'd say I didn't want to marry him? "Okay then." He squeezed my hand. "So, what kind of wedding?"

"I don't know that I want a particular kind—I just want to marry you. I want the people I love to be there…"

"Oh, well, I guess Vegas is out." He sounded a tiny bit disappointed and I laughed. "What about getting married with Jasper and Alice? Wouldn't you want a day of your own?"

I shrugged, "It doesn't matter to me. Do you want a day of your own?"

He laughed. "As long as I'm married to you at the end of it I don't care—I'll share it with anyone."

"Well, maybe we should ask Jasper if he wants a day of his own—he looked as surprised as the rest of us."

"I don't think Alice would have asked us if she wasn't sure he'd be okay with—she probably just knew he would stop her if she talked to him ahead of time." He sounded certain, and I had to agree. That sounded like Alice. "So…as long as Jasper's good, we'll share the day with them?"

"Yes."

He leaned over and kissed me, soft and slow. When he opened his eyes he looked a little teary. I sniffled. I was so happy. This had been the best day of my life.

"I do want to actually propose to you at some point. Formally, I mean. You shouldn't get robbed of that just because Alice is pushy."

I smiled at him—I loved him so much. "Actually, right now I'm kind of happy she's so pushy, aren't you?"

"I hadn't thought of it that way, but yes. I am." He grinned. "So, what do you want to do now?"

I thought about it for a minute. "If it's okay with you, I'd like to go to your parent's house and listen to you play piano."

He looked at me for a long minute, and his eyes were soft. He tugged me over and kissed me. "I love you, Bella."

I kissed him back. "I love you, too."

When we got to his house he sat on the bench and pulled me onto his lap. I wrapped my arms around him and put my head on his shoulder, close enough that I could kiss his neck sometimes without moving very much. The music didn't flow quite so smoothly—he was a little rusty from not playing in so long—but he hummed into my hair and kissed me, and he didn't miss any notes.

A/N: First of all, thanks for reading! Writing this story was an experience- I don't think I've ever written so much so quickly. I hope that this Edward seems true to character for everyone. Writing him human is hard; so much of his personality and how he interacts with Bella is shaped both by being a 105 year old self-loathing vampire and being a mind-reader. It's harder than writing Alice human, I think. My biggest problem with her is not going too far over the top- the same problem I have with Mrs Bennet in Pride and Prejudice, though I like Alice much, much better. :)

I thought a lot about whether Bella would want to marry Edward in this and I decided she would. This Bella is 23 instead of 18, which I think would make a difference to book Bella, but my main reason is that I think in the books, for her, getting changed into a vampire is initially her version of the marriage commitment. She loves him, she wants to be with him forever, so since she has an immortal option she prefers that. At least that's what I tell myself when she aggravates me by not wanting to marry him. :)

I'm marking this as complete since it pretty much is. I'm planning eventually to write a scene from Edward's POV, when Alice brings him the pictures that Bella got. If there are any other outtakes that anyone wants let me know and I'll try to do them. It'll probably be a while though- there's several other things I'm working on.

Oh, and there is a drive through chapel in Vegas. Personally, I think if you can't be bothered to even get out of your car to get married, maybe you should reconsider. ;)