Chapter 12

Peeta looked at Katniss warily as Haymitch left. He didn't want to meet her eye, so he let his gaze fall instead to her hands, which were tangled in the quilt. He wondered why she was gripping it so tightly, and after a long moment he concluded that she must be afraid of him and sighed, turning away from her and toward the wall before making himself speak.

"You can go," he said, voice stern, even though some part of him wanted nothing more than to turn and face her, to ask her the hundreds of questions he wanted answers to.

Instead, he felt the bed shift as she stood, heard her footsteps as she walked toward the bedroom door. The overhead light that had been brightening the room made a small click as it went off and left only the moonlight to illuminate anything. He heard Katniss shut the bedroom door, and assuming that she had closed it behind her he turned back to face the room. He jumped slightly as he took in shadows moving toward him before he realized it was Katniss walking back toward the bed. She hesitated when she reached the edge, so briefly that someone else might not have noticed, before carefully perching on the bed once more.

"Did you not hear me?" he asked disbelievingly, trying to sound angry and aware that he was failing miserably as his voice trembled. To his horror he felt his body shake slightly as he repeated, loudly, "You can go."

"Obviously I can," Katniss snapped, rolling her eyes slightly, but there was no bite to the words as she turned her body toward him. Peeta felt his own eyes widen and he swallowed with difficulty as her hand, which had clutched the quilt with such ferocity, came forward to grasp his hand just as tightly.

He felt a shiver of desire run through his body as their eyes met, the moonlight pouring inside and illuminating her face. Katniss scooted toward him slightly, tucking her legs beneath her easily, as if she didn't have a care in the world. He forced himself to turn away, overwhelmed by all the things he felt when he looked at her.

He gasped as he felt rather than saw her lean forward and hug him more strongly than he would have thought possible. To his horror he felt tears begin to trickle down his face and onto her shoulder. She stiffened slightly, just for a second, and he knew she had noticed but to his relief she didn't say anything, just rubbed his back gently.

"It's okay," she said softly and he wondered how she could possibly think that even as he grabbed onto her and began to hug her back. Her hair smelled sweet and somehow familiar, and for a moment he wanted nothing more than to brush it back away from her face and let himself forget-

He forced the thought away as she pushed back from him, and felt himself deflate at the concern in her eyes. "You can go," he said for the third time, dully, and to his surprise she just rolled her eyes again, effectively ignoring him as she inched under the quilt, leaving a solid space between them as she grabbed a pillow from his side of the bed without preamble and placed it under her head.

He looked from her to the door uncertainly before saying, much more weakly than he'd intended, "I'll be fine Katniss."

She smiled, almost wistfully, an expression he wasn't sure he had seen before on her face as she nodded, turning toward him. "I know you will."

He gazed at her, unsure what to do or say, a part of him wanting nothing more than to grab her to him, another part telling him to order her to just leave-

And then she made the choice for him, pulling him gently down onto his own pillow so that he was facing her. She murmured, "Just sleep, Peeta," before closing her eyes and curling into herself, still maintaining her distance from him.

He sighed and closed his eyes, trying to think about anything but Katniss and unable to think about anything else as he heard her breathing slow and deepen. He reached out a hand to touch her hair, remembering the beach from his dream and a different moment there- a locket-

He snatched his hand back as he realized he didn't even know if that was true, remembered that he needed to protect Katniss more than ever now- but this time, he needed to protect her from himself.

At that moment she sighed and shifted, her hand falling gently on top of his as she slept and his heart leapt and then crashed as he realized he also might need to protect himself from her. His heart couldn't survive being broken again.

Sorry for the short one… the next chapter will be longer! Reviews and follows are always treasured :D