Okay, it has- officially- been two full years and a month since I last updated and I am so, so sorry. I honestly didn't think that it had been that long, but that it just unacceptable for me, even though it might happen again- not for two years though; I'll try and keep my next hiatus under three months. Anyway, this isn't anything that's too beneficial to the story, but it's a few thousand words and I needed to give you guys something to let you know that I was alive and hadn't been kidnapped by a mysterious sea witch who I may or may not have sold my soul to exactly two years and one month ago...

Virginia Gardner as Rebecca Teller
Liana Liberato as Tristan Oswald
Ezra Miller as Logan
Bianca Lawson as Michelle Tanner
Moby Dick as The Asshole Book That Nearly Caused Rebecca To Have A Heart Attack At The End Of The Chapter

It had only been two weeks since Rebecca had found out what happened to her grandmother and she still had no idea how to approach her about it.

After her...talk with Missy, Rebecca had started paying closer attention to Gemma whenever she could and she couldn't help but notice that she was still being affected by what had happened. Rebecca was sure that no one else had noticed it, however- other than Clay. It wasn't hard to spot the frustration and suspicion that came over his face whenever she pulled away from him or tensed whenever she was touched. She had nearly screamed bloody murder when Rebecca accidentally snuck up behind her once.

Rebecca knew from personal experience that very few people reacted to assault- any kind of assault the same way; some people- like Tristan- preferred to pretend it didn't happen until they finally realized they wouldn't be able to run from it. Some people- like Tara- chose to be strong and move on as if it hadn't happened.

Then...then there were people like Rebecca; people who refused to tell anyone because they'd know what would happen if they did. There would be anger, tears, pity, and the people you love feeling like shit because they couldn't protect you. That's the kind of person Gemma was and Rebecca couldn't judge. However, she wished that she could pluck up just an ounce of courage to finally talk to her grandmother and make sure she knew she wasn't alone, but every time Rebecca opened her mouth she choked. No matter what she did, she couldn't make the words come out.

Then, during one little insignificant moment in her day, she did.

Piney hadn't needed her to watch Ellie and Kenny that night, so Rebecca had finally been able to go to the movies with Tristan and Logan. They had gone to an ice cream shop afterwards before Tristan's dad picked them up and took them each home. They had dropped Rebecca off first and she waved them off once she got to the front door. After pulling out her keys and unlocking the door, she let herself in.

"Hey," She greeted, seeing Gemma seated in the living room. "What are you doing here?"

"Jax is doing some shit with Opie and Wendy is still at work." She answered as Rebecca pulled her hoodie over her head. "There's food in the kitchen, if you're hungry."

"Thanks, but I ate already." Rebecca replied as she pulled off her boots and left them on the floor next the couch. Wendy would, undoubted, bitch about them later when she came in and tripped over them, but Rebecca didn't mind. Sometimes she liked pissing off Wendy. "I'm just gonna go to bed."

"Night," Rebecca held her hand up in response and went towards the kitchen, fully intending on going straight to her bedroom, but she stopped before she stopped on the linoleum. She couldn't let Gemma keep playing this charade.

"I know." She said turning around to face the living room and Gemma raised an eyebrow. "I know everything; I know about how Missy Zobelle somehow knocked you out and I know that her dad got some guy named Weston to rape you-" Gemma's eyes got wide and she stood. How could Rebecca possibly know about any of it? "-And I know that the night you were admitted to the hospital, you didn't get in a car crash and I know that Tara's been helping you cover it up and-"

"Rebecca, stop!"

"No!" The teen exclaimed. "No, I will not stop, because you have been walking around here like everything's okay when we both know it's not! I see the way you tense every time you hear a loud noise, or how you pull away from Clay- I can see that you're hurting and you won't do anything about it!"

"I can't." Gemma insisted.

"Why not?"

"Because I can't," She repeated, making her way over to the blonde. "Rebecca, if your dad or Clay or any of the Sons found out, they'd be so blinded by anger that they would go right after Zobelle."

"Good." Rebecca scoffed. "They should kill him for what he did to you!"

"And what good would that do? Huh?" Gemma demanded. "They go after Zobelle or Weston and no one will be able to get them out of their own mess. They will go to prison and they will stay there for a very long time. I don't want that for Abel or for you."

"So what?" Rebecca asked. "You just keep going around town knowing that the men who attacked you are walking free?" Gemma put a hand on Rebecca's shoulder.

"I'll be able to handle it." Gemma promised. She didn't like lying to Rebecca, but there were certain things that should be kept from children and- despite how responsible, caring and smart Rebecca was- she was still a fourteen year old girl.

Rebecca shook her head. "That's not good enough." She hissed. "You shouldn't have to walk around town knowing that they're out there- they hurt you and you're the one who's walking around, watching your back. It isn't fair." Seeing the tears in her eyes, Gemma pulled her granddaughter into a hug and Rebecca didn't hesitate to wrap her arms around Gemma.

"I know, baby...I know."

"You've been quiet today, Rebecca." Michelle noted. "Is there something bothering you that you'd like to talk about?" Rebecca shrugged, not looking up from where she was picking at the fraying arm of the couch she sat on. "Is it about your stepmother's new job?" Rebecca shook her head. She, honestly, could care less about Wendy's choice of career. She knew that there wasn't a lot that Wendy was good at and she needed something to do other than take care of Abel and work the phone at TM. "Is it about your mother?"

Rebecca furrowed her eyebrows, but still didn't look up. "Why would it be about my mother?" Michelle shrugged.

"Since the day I met you, your brain has gone a million miles a second." She pointed out. "Who knows what crazy things it could come up with?"

"It's not about my mom." Rebecca told her. She went quiet again for a moment before she spoke. "...If I tell you something, you can't tell Jax or Wendy right?" Michelle raised an eyebrow, but nodded anyway.

"Is there something you want to tell me that you don't want your parents to find out about?"

"You could say that." Rebecca admitted. "It's Gemma, my grandma- no." She said immediately when she noticed Michelle had begun to write. "You can't write it down either I don't want anyone knowing what I tell you- especially not Gemma."

"Gemma doesn't have access to my notes." Michelle assured the blonde, but put her pen down anyway. "No one does- other than me."

"Gemma got hurt." Rebecca told her and Michelle nodded.

"I know." She said. "Wendy told me that she got in a car accident-"

"That's a lie." Rebecca cut her off before she could finish. "Gemma got hurt like...like Tristan got hurt, like I...it wasn't a car accident. She didn't want Jax or Clay to find out so she got Tara- Jax's ex- to help her make it look like a car accident. I think Chief Unser helped, but I don't know how." Taking her hand away from the fraying threads of the couch, Rebecca finally looked at her therapist. "She didn't even tell me that it happened, I found out from someone else, but when I told her to tell someone, she freaked and told me not to tell."

"People handle...things like that in different ways-"

"But she's not handling it." Rebecca interrupted. "She knows exactly who did it and they're just walking around town going about their normal everyday lives as if they didn't violate her in the worst way possible. I know that she can't be okay with that- I wouldn't be. And every time I see her flinch or wince because her body hurts, I want to tell Jax everything, but..."

"But what?"

"...But I know that Gemma's right." Rebecca admitted reluctantly. "If I tell him or anyone else about what happened then someone will end up dead and Jax and Clay both will end up in prison- probably most of the others too." She looked to her therapist. "And I know Gemma's strong, but I don't think she can do what she says she can; I don't think she can go around this town- go around her home and ever feel safe while her attackers are still out there." Rebecca groaned and let her head fall into her hands. "I don't know what to do."

"I think that's because you still haven't come to terms with your own attack, Rebecca." The blonde's head snapped up. "Talking about your own experience could help you understand where your grandmother's coming from and you might be able to help her."

"...I can't." Rebecca shook her head. "Not today," That's all she had to say for Michelle to nod and back off the subject, returning to their original one; Gemma.

"That's completely understandable." She insisted. "But I'd like to point out that perhaps Gemma is just as...reluctant to face her own attack like you are." Rebecca shook her head.

"No, that's not it." She denied immediately. "Gemma, she's...my grandma is the strongest person I know. There's no way that she'd let something as simple as not wanting to be pitied or embarrassment stop her."

"Just because she's strong, doesn't mean she's invincible." Michelle replied. "Gemma's human, too, and there was a time when she was your age. For some people- people like Gemma, she thinks that being strong means being quiet when things hurt. She thinks that she has to go at it alone, and there's only one thing you can do when she thinks that."

"And what's that?"

"Be there for her."

The waiter just took my table and gave it to Jessica Simpson
I guess I'll go sit with tomboy- at least he'll know how to hit.
What if this song's on the radio? Then somebody's gonna die
I'm gonna get in trouble; my ex will start a fight...

Wendy entered the house and winced at the volume of the music. Thankfully she didn't have Abel with her or his little ears would've been permanently damaged. "Rebecca!" She called out, but she could barely hear herself. Now she understood why the neighbors had called her complaining about the noise. "Rebecca!" Still nothing. After freeing her hands of her bags, Wendy covered her ears before going deeper into the house.

The noise became practically unbearable as she neared Rebecca's bedroom and opening the door only worsened the pain. Inside, Rebecca stood in front of her easel painting away as if the music didn't even affect her young ears. There were smears of paint- all different color paint covering almost every part of her upper body that wasn't covered by her sports bra and baggy sweatpants.

"Rebecca," She called, but got nothing. "Rebecca," A bit louder, but nothing. "Rebecca!" Still nothing. Sighing, Wendy went over to the computer that sat on her desk right next to the door and paused the song. That got the teen's attention immediately snapped to Wendy.

"Hey," She greeted as if Wendy hadn't been screaming at the top of her lungs a few moments ago. "When'd you get home?"

"Not even a minute ago." Wendy told her. "Not that you would know; the music was so loud that my ears are still ringing. Why do you have it playing so loud, anyway? Five of our neighbors called me complaining about the volume- even Ms. Lindale down the street and she's half deaf." Rebecca shrugged.

"I'm trying not to think." She admitted as she turned back to her painting. "Tristan says that her mom used to put on headphones and turn her music all the way up to drown out her thoughts. I couldn't find my headphones, so..."

"That's because your room is a mess," Wendy pointed out as she looked around the room; books, clothes, and magazines littered the floor; there were empty tubes of paint surrounding Rebecca's easel and there was...what was that? "Are you eating a jar of mayonnaise?"

Looking to where the jar sat on her desk, Rebecca grinned as she picked up the jar and scooped out some of the contents with the spoon before shoving it into her mouth. Wendy's stomach turned and she covered her mouth. "Calm down," Rebecca told her as she held the jar under Wendy's nose; The smell was sweet and- now that she had a closer look- she could tell that the consistency was off for mayo. "It's just pudding. We ran out of mayo yesterday so I cleaned out the jar and filled it with vanilla pudding to gross out the guys at the club; Juice almost threw up, Happy punched a wall, and Tig got so angry that he had to leave the clubhouse."

Wendy sighed and pushed the jar away from her face. "I worry about you sometimes."

"You and everyone else," Rebecca put the jar down before turning back to her painting and picking her paintbrush back up. That's when Wendy finally took notice of what Rebecca was painting.

Wendy had never had the pleasure of being friends with Donna Winston; she had been out of the club life while Jax and Wendy were together and had only recently gotten back into it before she was killed. Wendy had been fortunate enough to meet her for a few moments at Abel's homecoming party, but that's where their relationship began and ended. Wendy, however, knew that wasn't the case for Rebecca.

On the easel was a well painted picture of Donna and Opie Winston. It was only halfway done, but Wendy could see Donna with a smile on her face as she tucked her head into Opie's chest and he held onto her tightly. Wendy had no idea if Rebecca was painting this from memory or from a photo, but, if she was; Wendy had never seen a picture like Rebecca's painting anywhere in the house.

The teen noticed Wendy's staring. "Ellie's birthday is coming up," She said as she dunked her brush into the coffee cup of paint water, turning it from murky brown to a slightly transparent black. "She doesn't want a party, but I figured I'd make her something. Opie was in prison for most of her life so she never really got to see how much he really loved Donna...I figured I'd show her." She felt Wendy's arm wrap around her upper chest from behind and Rebecca grabbed on with the hand the paint had already dried on.

"You're a good kid, you know that?" Rebecca smiled. Jax had been saying that to her more often than not.

"I've been told."

"They threatened Tristan," Rebecca told her grandmother as soon as they were alone.

It was a Saturday; Logan was out of town visiting his parents in Lodi and Tristan was doing some mandatory family counseling thing with her parents, so Rebecca was friendless for the day. Jax and Wendy had told Rebecca that they were going out for a ride in the country which she was sure was some kind of code for sex, leaving her with babysitting duty- not that she minded; Rebecca never had a problem with watching who she dubbed "The best little baby brother in the whole entire planet,". It was no secret that Abel only got that title because Rebecca was the only one he had yet to spit up or shit on.

They had been having a good enough time; Rebecca had put Abel in his walker that he was absolutely too small for and put on some childish show with bright colors and loud, happy music to keep him occupied while she did her homework. Gemma had come over only about an hour later to visit her favorite grandkids, to which Rebecca responded that they were her only grandkids. They had sat in a slightly awkward silence for about half an hour as Rebecca continued with her homework and Gemma fed Abel his little baby snacks before she dropped her bomb.

"What?" Rebecca looked away from her English workbook and to her grandmother.

"When Missy told me about what they did to you," She elaborated. "She said that she had suggested they take Tristan instead."

"And what did you do when she told you that?"

"I broke her rib," The young blonde replied easily and without much remorse.

"Good," Gemma nodded. "You gotta show that little bitch that she can't fuck with your family."

"Logan knew that I had something to do with Missy being out of school, so I had to tell him. About Tristan, not you," She assured, seeing Gemma's panic. "He's scared and he wants to tell Tristan so she can be safe."

"What'd you tell him?"

"I told him no to," Rebecca answered. "I said that we were her friends and we had to protect her...even it if meant lying to her."

"What she doesn't know won't hurt her."

"But it could," Rebecca replied just as fast and Gemma could see how much emotion was behind her eyes...how much emotion Rebecca was trying to hide and she hated it; her fourteen year old granddaughter shouldn't have to deal with shit like this- not on top of everything else she had already been forced to go through. "I'm scared, Grandma," She admitted. "I'm scared for Tristan, for Logan, for the guys at the club, for you...what if they get tired of waiting?" She asked. "They went after you because they knew it would hurt the club when they found out, but it didn't because you didn't tell them. What's the stop them from losing their patience and going after Tristan like Missy had wanted, or..." Or coming after me? Rebecca didn't need to say it for Gemma to her it- to hear how afraid she really was. "They could come after Abel-"

"Rebecca, look at me," Gemma ordered and the girl did as she was told. "Nothing is going to happen to you, sweetheart." She promised. "Not to you, or to Abel...and, if they wanted to so much as take a step in you direction, they would have to walk over my cold, dead body first. Do you understand?" Rebecca's eyes fell down and Gemma gripped her firmly by the chin with her free hand, forcing them to meet eyes again. "Do you understand me?"

"...Yes," She nodded. Gemma dropped her hand.

"Good," She said. "Because it's true; there isn't a person in this club that wouldn't die to keep you safe."

"Except maybe Happy," Rebecca pointed out, hoping to lighten the mood, despite the tears welling up in her eyes, just waiting for her to blink so they could fall. "I got him so angry the other day that he punched a hole in the clubhouse wall."

Gemma gave her a smirk. "I've seen the guy punch a hole in somebody's face, so I think you're on his good side." Momentarily distracted when her phone rang, Gemma dropped her hand and Rebecca quickly turned away to wipe away her tears. "It's Luann," She said gazing down at the text- or, to be more accurate, texts,- she had gotten from her long time friend.

"Is everything okay?" Rebecca asked, turning back around, only to see Gemma getting up from the couch. Before she knew it, Gemma was pushing Abel into her arms. "Is everything okay?" She repeated.

"Yeah," Gemma nodded. "Luann's freaking out because Clay's being a dumbass- again." Putting her phone away, Gemma grabbed her purse and slung it over her shoulder before giving Rebecca a kiss on the forehead. "You stay out of trouble while I'm gone; I'm gonna send the prospect over to come check on you." It wasn't a question, more like a statement- a statement that Rebecca would normally argue with, but she couldn't find it in her after their conversation. She nodded and Gemma kissed her on the head again before doing the same to Abel and leaving. Once she was gone, Rebecca turned Abel around and looked him in the eye as he tried to grab at her braids.

"Looks like it's you and me again ki-" She was startled she heard a thump and her heart sped up. Thankfully, the culprit was only a book that had been knocked over by the wind. Putting Abel down on the floor, she rushed over and closed the window before closing the blinds and curtains. Looking down she was confused to see the copy of Moby Dick that she had brought with her from Los Angeles; she hadn't even looked at it in months and was sure that it was supposed to be on the bottom shelf of the overflowing bookshelf in her room underneath a copy of Tess of the d'Urbervilles that she had stolen from the library when she was twelve and had never even opened. Knowing that Wendy must've taken it, Rebecca put the book down and returned to her brother who allowed himself to be pulled into her lap. Seeming to pick up on her nervousness, Abel put his head on her chest. "Yeah, you'll protect me. Won't you big guy?" She asked and he picked up his head to look at her and grabbed on her braids again. "Or not."

Despite knowing that the thump had simply been caused by the wind and an poorly placed book, Rebecca was unable to relax and truly feel secure in the safety of herself and Abel until she heard the familiar roar of a motorcycle making its way up her street.