Apparently I'm supposed to put stuff up here since it's the first chapter and such. I'd think it's fairly obvious that I don't own One Piece or any of it's characters but I guess some people need to be told that. Maybe they're stupid or something. I don't know. While I do own my OCs, I don't really mind if you use them too or something. Feel free, I honestly don't mind. Umm... warnings. Right. WARNING: contains lots of swearing (we're pirates after all) implied gore and violence and such (mostly just: there was blood. it was gross. etc.) and much later on implied adult type stuff. Nothing explicit, but you'd have to be either naive or stupid not to figure it out. If you're uncomfortable with that kind of stuff I suggest you give up now. So... I think that's it... Yep.

Enjoy and such. Or hate it. Review if you want. All that jazz. I'm fine either way.

-Lilith POV-

I shivered slightly. I really didn't like slavery - still don't - for lots of reasons. It pisses me off. It happens right outside the Navy's front door, so close to Marine HQ. It reminds me of my childhood… Naw, best not think of such things. If I got agitated I might accidentally punch someone in the face, and I could never quite tell when I was punching someone important or not in a place like Shabondy. I didn't need the hassle, not when I needed all the time I could get.

I scowled and leaned against her wall, disgusted with the world or, more specifically, with the World Noble that had just showed up late, kicking his slave and whining about how slowly the slave went and how he didn't want him anymore. He had a nasally voice, probably because there was snott leaking constantly from one nostril. The other one would probably have been just as gross if he didn't keep picking it with one finger. Disgusting fat ass dumbshit, I thought, putting it mildly. But I averted my eyes and looked down anyway, not wanting to draw his attention. I knew all too well how dangerous the 'bodyguards' of the Celestial Dragons were in the Marines. I had no intention of facing an admiral. Not yet anyways…

Some lady screamed as the newest 'entry' in this farce of an auction bit his tongue on stage and collapsed. Coward, I thought. At the very least you're supposed to try living. Don't back down just because you're scared. If it's to hard for you then give up. Don't quit prematurely. But I quickly quelled those thoughts too. A positive outlook was not supported by putting down those around you and my life had already had it's fill of being depressing without dwelling on… stuff like that. I really hated my past. I huffed my bright red hair out of my face a she watched the man, some pirate apparently, being carried backstage. The very idea of creating a stage for such a spectacle sickenes me, but I refused to let it show on my face. Nobody who wasn't close enough to look into my eyes could see that I was seething with rage on the inside. Fortunately, I was in the back corner and not likely to come face-to-face with anyone, though that was no guarantee. Stranger things had happened. Much stranger things. Especially around me.

I allowed my mind to wander, chewing my gum, not paying much attention to my surroundings. There was no need. Even with high-class pirates like Kid and Law in the building, nobody was worried about a disturbance, not here in Doflamingo's Auction House. They were all too busy worrying about how much money they hand left for the next slave. Everyone was getting really excited about something and there were flashing lights and a drumroll. I looked up. What 'thing' had caught their attention this time?

My heart seized slightly when she saw it was just a young mermaid. She looked afraid and confused, held up in her glass bowl like a prized goldfish, hands pressed against the glass, screaming silently into the water. She was most likely much too young to have to go through something like this. I remembered- no. Not thinking of it. But I did feel compassion towards the young mermaid despite my best efforts to suppress the emotion. I considered it but quickly realized that I didn't have near enough money to help her. It was a shame about the girl's fate but…

But what? Why was I hesitating? Why would someone with only a single fear hesitate? I was pissed with myself and gnashing on my gum angrily. I knew exactly why I was hesitating. Those were Celestial Dragons down there. Causing a disturbance would get an Admiral on my ass. The chances may only be one out of three, but I was still too afraid of the risk. He one of my two fears in the entire world. If he saw me here - or anywhere actually - it was doubtful that I would walk away, limping and half dead or otherwise. Not that I was actually afraid of dying, but I just figured that I hadn't had my fun just yet. And there was always the chance that he wouldn't just let me die…

"500,000,000!" That fat ass dumbshit Celestial Dragon shouted. I heard something drop in the almost perfect silence that followed. The poor mermaid girl was doomed. The dumbshit ostentatious auctioneer was trying to get a better price, which I knew wouldn't happen. Nobody had the money or the balls to bet against a Celestial Dragon. I saw the Kid pirates getting up to leave. Maybe they were just as sickened as I was, but I found that unlikely. Kid was just as much a psychopath as I was… well, he was only into killing though. When I really hated somebody I tended to spill into a darker mindset. Namely torture.

I glanced down at my black gloved hands, ashamed that there was nothing I could - nothing that I was willing to do to help the mermaid, or even to copy her. I really like those gloves - they were good for punching people with. Small silver spikes jutted from the knuckles, matching the silver clasps at my wrists, and the fingers cut off at my second knuckle, giving me freedom of movement and allowing my claws out when I needed them.

Was that screaming? I wondered mildly. Not that I was against screaming or anything - I actually quite liked and often caused it - it just seemed an odd thing to be hearing at the moment.

The doors to the auction house exploded inward, I saw rich nobles flying up into the air, terrified and screaming - serves the dumbshits right - and a plume of debris blocked my view of what had happened. I didn't move just yet though, I wanted to see what would happen first. To my mild surprise, Strawhat Luffy jumped out of the dust. Someone was complaining about the landing. Well what do you expect, riding a flying fish into a building? I thought sarcastically. They're sea creatures you know. They're supposed to land in water, not smash into walls like that. Look at the poor thing, he's knocked himself out. I hope he gets home okay. Yeah, I had a soft spot for animals- fuck you.

Apparently Luffy recognized the mermaid because he started running to her shouting "Camie!" at the top of his lungs. A large man chased after him, obviously trying to keep him out of trouble. Judging by Straw Hat's reputation - declaring war on the World Government and all that shit - that was easier said than done. The man revealed four more arms as he tried to hold the crazed pirate captain back. Oh you dumbshit, I thought angrily, don't you know how they're going to react? Hide them before-

Someone shrieked. "His arms! His arms! A fishman!"

"Too damn late now," I muttered. There was no way the poor guy was going to make it out of here without a slave collar around his neck, not anymore. Not surrounded by these racist self-righteous dumbshits. They started throwing things. Strawhat Luffy kept charging towards the mermaid, apparently oblivious.

That's when I saw the fishman, whoever he was, got shot in the chest. He collapsed. That dumbshit fat-ass self-righteous sonofabitch snot-nosed ugly-ass motherfucker dipshit goddamn Celestial Dragon from before was standing there with a smoking gun in his hands. For a moment everyone froze, including me. He started bragging about how he shot it and now it was his slave. That did it.

"WHAT KIND OF RACIST MOTHER-FUCKING DUMBSHIT DO YOU THINK YOU ARE!?" I screamed, stomping forward. Screw the consequences, she was going to kick that guy in the dick if it was the last thing I did - and when I kicked someone in the dick they never could never have children afterwards. Someone beat me to it. Well, Strawhat Luffy didn't quite kick him in the dick like I wanted to, but he did punch the Celestial Dragon in the face hard enough to send him plowing through chairs and knock him out cold. I resolved that I would stomp his dick instead once I got the chance - it would still hurt sufficiently to cause me at least mild satisfaction.

Strawhat Luffy's crew, lined up by the door, seemed to take it in stride, like they had been expecting something like this and if Luffy hadn't done it they would. Every pirate in the room smirked, half at how stupid Strawhat was and half at how satisfying it was to see a Celestial Dragon knocked out on the ground with a fist-shaped dent in his fat face. Nobody liked Celestial Dragons. Especially not pirates.

"Sorry you guys," Strawhat Luffy said, apologizing to his crew as he turned to face them, hand on his infamous hat. "If I hit these guys they'll call an Admiral from the Navy and a warship here right?" His crew shrugged him off. Pirate Hunter Zoro complained about not getting to slice him up. An orange haired girl I recognized as Cat Burglar Nami to the aid or the fallen fishman - she was much less sexy in person, not that I said anything about that. People with wanted posters like hers tended to be touchy about their looks and I had no interest in squabbling with a fellow pirate.

One of the Celestial Dragons still standing started yelling something about 'lesser humans' and shooting at Strawhat Luffy. I was unimpressed with his royal dickness. That's when the stampede started. All the normal people - that is to say, all the rich dumbshits who attended such disgusting events as slave auctions and weren't pirates - started screaming and panicking and running towards the exits. I snorted and chewed my gum, annoyed. The stupid weaklings were comfortable destroying the lives of others without a second thought, but put their own necks on the chopping block and they acted like chickens with their heads already cut off. Pathetic. None of the pirate crews present, Kid, Heart or Strawhat, made any move to leave in the confusion. The dumbshit Celestial Dragon was - apparently - still shooting at Luffy. His aim sucked. Really badly. Luffy didn't even need to dodge. I found this also pathetic.

Someone in a black suit rushed up and kicked the gun out of the Celestial Dragon's hands. I barely resisted the urge to burst out laughing as I - barely - recognized Black Leg Sanji of the Strawhat crew from his poster. Twice in one day these so-called royal dumbshits got their asses handed to them by the Strawhats. It was great! After that it was basically every man for himself. Pirate Hunter Zoro caused some sort of tornado of flying bodies. Luffy was punching people with those slightly freaky arms of his. Lightning struck indoors.

I shrugged. An Admiral was already coming, one way or another, so I might as well have my fun too - I'd promised myself after all. I started by marching up to the - still unconscious - Celestial Dragon and stomping his dick. With my boots, I imagined it would be very painful. Not that I had a dick to compare - being a woman and all - but one could guess. There were silver studs across the bottom of my black leather boots. I quite liked them. It made stomping people fun. The Celestial Dragon woke up just long enough to scream like a little girl - or a guy without a properly functioning dick to be more accurate - and gaped at me a bit before the pain made him pass out again. I quite enjoyed his reaction. He deserved to be injured, possibly worse but I didn't have time to get the proper instruments. I could make do, but it was never as satisfying. I returned to my corner without further incident. Just because I chose to stomp a Celestial Dragon's dick didn't mean I had to get involved in the petty fighting. None of the guards looked like worthy opponents and I didn't like feeling like a bully- a sadist, sure, but not a bully.

"Camie is not for sale!" I heard Strawhat Luffy shout. The older Celestial Dragon - the one who still had a dick but no longer had a gun - ordered for an Admiral and a warship to be brought. I ignored him. I could sense that there were already Navy soldiers lining up outside the building, preparing to storm in as soon as their precious World Nobles were proven safe. We were awfully close to Marine HQ after all and this was a high-class facility - by their standards, not mine. It was only logical that they be more prepared for an attack here over anywhere else.

Pirate Hunter Zoro ordered his friends to duck and slashed with one of his swords. The cut leapt beyond the reach of his sword and sliced the top off the mermaid's tank - her name was apparently Camie judging by how Strawhat just kept shouting it. They started complaining that he nearly cut their heads off.

"At least he told you to duck!" I shouted to them, laughing from my corner.

Apparently that drew the guard's attention to me. On of them shouted, "Get her! She must be with the Strawhats!" I didn't reply, not daining that idea with a response. Did they really think I would ever work with such obvious dumbshits - entertaining dumbshits, but still - really?

I kicked the man in the face for even suggesting it. Well fuck me, there were a lot of these dumbshits. That was fine though, I enjoyed kicking things, especially people who pissed me off. It wasn't bullying if they provoked me. Work with the Strawhats indeed. I didn't bother taking my hands out of my pockets as I disposed of the weaklings. It would have been better if they hadn't been wearing helmets and I could see what the spikes on my boots did to their bare faces, but I could make due with what I had. There were worse things than watching their helmets dent around their skulls and seeing blood leak out.

"Who the hell are you?" Pirate Hunter Zoro demanded as I accidentally kicked somebody at him.

"Name's Lilith!" I replied, shouting over the general commotion, "Nice tameetchya!"

He grunted as if to say 'whatever, as long as I'm not supposed to be slicing you up' and looked for more guards to cut. I could understand the reasoning in that.

Another flying fish crashed through the roof and a woman jumped off, sprouting wings and landing nimbly on the floor. Huh, I thought, I could have done that. She murmured something and the men in front of her sprouted extra arms from their shoulders. The new arms reached up and snapped their necks. Admittedly, that's not something I could do, but I like beating people to death and watching them bleed better than a quick kill like that so it doesn't matter. It's not like I could copy her anyway.

A skeleton fell out of the sky, landed on his face and got right back up, complaining about his hip or something before chugging a glass of milk and charging around with a sword and slicing people. I wasn't overly weirded out by the laughing and fighting skeleton. It was the Grand Line after all and I'd seen stranger things. I wondered if I could copy him.

Another guy - his nose actually gave me more of a pause than the talking skeleton due to its impressive length - fell out of the sky and landed on the Celestial Dragon - just a reminder but we're still talking about the one with a dick here, not that snotty guy I already stomped. The second Celestial Dragon passed out - either from shock or from the impact, either way - causing the third - and hopefully final - Celestial Dragon screeched something about her father while I quietly wondered if I should take the chance and de-dick him too - not the woman of course, the father. It would be weird if the woman had a dick. But if she did I'd stomp that too, just for the hell of it.

"If we don't hurry, a warship and an Admiral will arrive!" Cat Burglar Nami shouted, breaking me out of my revive.

"The fuck you yapping about, girlie?" I asked. Has she not realized it yet? These were the Celestial Dragons we were talking about here, and their precious auction house.

"The Navy is already here, Strawhat-ya," Law said calmly.

"Oi! Look, he's not a dumbshit," I observed, delighted. "I approve!" Naturally, I was ignored. I didn't mind. I was used to having a low profile - well, sometimes anyway. Not on purpose, but it was a side affect of being me.

"What's up with you?" Strawhat Luffy asked. He seemed a little cranky about having his fight interrupted, like a child woken from his nap too soon. "And what's with the bear?" I noticed that there was a polar bear sitting next to law. I shrugged off the weirdness factor and had to physically resist the cuteness factor. Bears were bears. It wasn't that weird that he seemed to be holding Law's giant-ass sword for him. It was, however, very hard to suppress the urge to hug him, but I managed it. It would be super weird to hug Law's first mate. I ignored the conversation as Law patiently explained that Marine HQ was close and they were probably trying to catch someone and wasn't this interesting and blah blah blah…

Could I charge through the Navy yet? There was still a small, very small, chance that I wouldn't have to face whichever Admiral was sent and I was hoping to take it. There was no point listening to introductions when I had already identified all the important players: five supernovas, three of them captains, and their subordinates. The guards, Navy pawns and Celestial Dragons didn't matter in this equation. Well the Celestial Dragons might…

I noticed something and walked up to Strawhat Luffy, pointing. "Weren't you trying to save that mermaid or something?" I asked politely - I wasn't usually very polite but it seemed to work anyway. He seemed quite surprised to see the last Celestial Dragon - the chick who probably didn't have a dick - leveling a gun at Camie. The auctioneer was trying to stop her as timidly as possible, but she pointed a gun at him. C'mon, shoot him! I vote you shoot him! I thought. She shot him. It may have been the only moment in my entire life when I approved of the actions of a Celestial Dragon. It was a very brief moment.

None of the Strawhats were close enough or quick enough to interfere. I prepared to move instead - knowing I would be fast enough - but was cut off by a blast of Haki.

Conquer's Haki, I noticed, well shit. If only I could do that. It's such a boss ability. I'm so fucking jealous. I knew instantly that it didn't belong to anyone I'd met before. An old man with longish white hair walked through a hole in the wall, followed by a giant. Well fuck me. That's the Dark King Reighley right there. Fucking awesome. I wonder what he's doing here… probably stealing from rich dumbshits.

The old man started babbling about needing more sake and how nobody would want an old slave like him. I suppressed a giggle at how ridiculous that was, ignoring the tense looks from Kid and Law - Luffy apparently had no idea who Reighley was, furthering his placement on my List of Dumbshits. I was probably supposed to be more respectful of the Dark King or whatever, but I wasn't good with that bullshit. Apparently Reighley recognized the fishman from before - who I had completely forgotten about by the way - because he said, "Oh, Hatchie, what are you doing here?"

"Getting himself shot is what he's doing here," I muttered. I'm sure he heard me, but, like most others, chose to ignore me. I blew a bubble in my gum. It was losing its flavor.

"How'd you get that wound?" he asked the fisherman. I was mildly surprised that the fishman hadn't died with all that blood leaking out of him - then again their anatomies functioned differently from ours as I already knew so whatever. Maybe nothing vital had been hit. Reighley paused and looked around the Auction Hall, taking in his surroundings. It was probably a tense moment but I was too busy chewing my gum to notice. There was no one entertaining to fight here, the few pathetic guards remaining didn't count. "So this means…" Reighley said, "I get it… I've figured out what happened." He sighed. "You've gotten yourself into quite a mess, huh, Hatchie? Were you the ones who saved him?" he didn't wait for an answer. "Now then…" He let out a truly incredible burst of Conquer's Haki, causing all the remaining guards to collapse.

"This guy…"

"It can't be…"

"Huh? What? What did he just do?"

"What's with this old man?"

"Well ain't that some next level badassery bullshit right there?"

That last one - in case you couldn't figure it out - was me.

Reighley lifted his head and looked at Strawhat Luffy - not that I was a little bit jealous or anything - and remarked "That straw hat of yours… it really fits a fearless man like yourself. I've wanted to meet you. Monkey D. Luffy."

Oh? I noticed, So Strawhat's got the D? How entertaining. The auction hall, on the other hand, was no longer entertaining because it had no one to fight in it. That meant it sucked, no matter how many entertaining people were still in here because they were just sitting around on their asses.

Reighley tapped Camie's slave collar and all the Strawhats started freaking out about how it would explode, which was stupid. There's no way someone like Reighley would go around blowing up people's heads like that. I was mildly curious to see how he'd remove it, but he just used Haki to remove the collar at the last second. Lame. I could have done that - Not that Reighley's lame, I'm just saying. I was expecting fireworks or something.

"Sorry about that. You guys are just here to watch right? Judging from how you handled that situation earlier, you guys aren't exactly pushovers, right?"

That made me a little bit happy inside, being referred to as 'not exactly a pushover' by someone as OP as Reighley but I didn't say anything about it. Cool people didn't start fangirling over the first mate of Gol D. Roger just because of a non-insult like that. Kid and Law looked impassive too, but I totally knew they were freaking out inside because he was just so motherfucking awesome.

"Criminals inside!" A Navy voice was broadcasted around the building, pathetically trying to enter negotiations. "Please release the Roswald Family!" The guy shouted, "An Admiral will be here shortly! I'd imagine it would be safer for you to just surrender! You don't know what will happen otherwise, Rookies!"

"Right, because people become pirates to live safely." I scorned. "What bullshit is he sprouting?"

"So they're not just dragging us into this, but they're totally treating us like we're their accomplices too," Law observed. He didn't seem to mind taking part of the wrap for this.

"Well to be fair, I at least did crush that one dumbshit's dick," I admitted quietly, but I'm pretty sure nobody heard me. I wasn't needed here. Maybe I'd go see if the Admiral had show up yet. Possibly fight the Navy outside, just to see if there was anyone entertaining. No, I'd just hold them off until the others got there. They'd probably be offended if I took out all the weaklings without them. Captains can be touchy like that sometimes.