20th December 1910

Mother wrote to me today to say Pamela has died. Mother said it is very usual for small children to die, especially in India where it is so easy to catch diseases.

When she was born I remember being angry that she wasn't a little brother for me and when all the doctors came to house to see her and my mother I hoped she might die.

I am ashamed that I ever felt this way because she really was very nice. She never cried like other 4 year olds and threw her food about- she just played with her ball of white wool and smiled.

Father wrote to me as well saying that I must not cry in front of other boys and that now I am 12 years old I must act like the son of a soldier never showing weakness.

I want to cry though because it means that people will know how much I loved her. Father also wrote to tell me that if anyone mentions her death I must tell them how bright and healthy she was, and that I must never mention how her eyes were different from other children's.

10th July 1914

Today we had prize giving and I won most helpful boy in the C1 house.

Well I jointly won the prize but I was able to get a nice Huntley & Palmers biscuit tin. I didn't care about not getting the biscuits as I don't really like biscuits all that much.

I hope my Papa will be proud of me when I write and tell him all about it. I wish that he and mother could have been at prize giving like other boy's parents but I suppose his work in India is more important.

Mother says that it is very foolish to travel by P&O Liner for several weeks just to attend a prize giving.

I really wish I had a younger brother because since Pamela died it has been very hard living in a Bungalow where nobody except the servants talk to you.

Perhaps Tommy Russell is right and there will be a war. If there is a war I might have to go back to India and live with my parents which would be awful.

3 am August 22nd 1925

Last night I went to a birthday party for some American heiress Lily Van Hopper and met the most wonderful girl Lady Agnes Towyn.

It really was love at first sight. Apparently she was brought along by her older brother Edmund, Viscount Gwrych who is the current boyfriend of the heiress.

Although Agnes was wearing an awful dress which looked like a pair of Victorian curtains cut up and sewn into a dress she was really the most beautiful woman in the room. Lady Agnes told me her family rarely leave their home in Wales and that they were all quite poor. She says that all the wonderful shops in London have made her quite envious of Lily Van Hopper and her $10 million. It must be hard to be 19 and to see other girls have lots of nice things when you can't.

I was lucky enough to dance with her twice before her aunt arrived to take back to the aunt's house in Cromwell Road. I hope to see more of her. After she left Claridges I asked Edmund Gwrych if the aunt would let me take Agnes to tea at Fortnum & Mason on Saturday. Edmund said that would probably be alright as long as the aunt was allowed to come too.

I feel quite ill with love and I don't know how I'm going to get through the next week at the foreign office!