AN: Orlando Bloom wearing Lucius Malfoy's wig = Peter Jackson

10 pages describing the color green = J.R.R. Tolkien

Other random insanity not featured in the book or movie = me... and all the other authors that have infested me with this plot bunny.

Bilbo Baggins was at the tender age of 3 when his mother got sick. Belladonna Took came down with a type of infection. She was sick in bed for nearly 6 months but the healers news was what hurt her the most. He told her and Bungo that she would live and make a full recovery but she would never have another child. Belladonna was inconsolable for months after her recovery. She would sit and look out at the garden thinking of how she wanted to fill it with the laughter of children.

It was the goal of almost every Took female to provide her husband with 2 daughters and 2 sons. Four was a lucky number among the hobbits. Bungo would teach the boys how to manage money and attract a fine upstanding mate, while Belladonna would teach the girls how to care for the house and a husband. She couldn't have that now.

Then all the sudden Bilbo ran past the window she was gazing out. That was all she had. Bilbo was all she had. She stood up. "Bilbo's all I have." She said out loud having an epiphany. She may never have a daughter but Bilbo would. SO she had to teach him everything his daughter would need to know as a female in the Took clan.

Lessons began right away and Bilbo would never be the same.

AN: Very short I know but it's more of a prologue

Fair warning. This will be slash Bilbo Dwalin. Just because I stumbled upon the pair and it was so cute I could have died. I plan for an OC elf and one of the dwarves to also get together. Just haven't nailed down when they will meet. Little bit of angst and death next CH. But very glossed over.