College Dorm Rooms

A/N: Yes, this all happened to me.

Congratulations, you finished your first year of college! Now what are you going to do next?

Not go to Disneyland.

Sad face for you :(

No, instead you get to have a job.

But before we get to that, let's talk about college dorms.

Alright, let's get down to business. Today I'm going to talk about

Dorms (in general)

Are awful.

Be prepared for community bathrooms. You will learn (very quickly) that people are slobs (especially men) when it comes to bathrooms. Garbage everywhere, hair everywhere, piss on the floor, piss on the toilet, forsaken toilets that make you scream "Nothing is sacred anymore!" because no one seems to flush and no one has bathroom etiquette...ever.

Be warned that you will most likely at some point have a fire drill at three in the morning because an idiot decided to make it "snow in his room" with a fire extinguisher causing the whole building to evacuate for FIVE HOURS. Oh, and in thirty degree weather too.

Most likely there will also come a time when you're in the bathroom stall and some asshole comes in with a Super Soaker, shoots a spray of water over the stall door, hitting you directly.

Also people will congregate near your door to have heated (and entertaining) conversations but hey, that's what you get when you live across from the bathroom and next to the elevator at the same time.

There will be a time when your neighbors blast loud and annoying rap music. When you open the door there will be freestyle dance competitions in the hallway.

Don't be surprised when a drunk woman comes in and literally says: "I'm so drunk right now." Believe her.

Also, be prepared to sing Elvis Presley's "In The Ghetto" at least once because you're pretty much in the Gary, Indiana of campus.

Make sure you are nice to the BSA's, those are the people that clean the bathrooms and hallways, making your lives a lot easier. If you are nice to them, they'll be super nice to you (they are also awesome people).

The front desk people are awesome and your RA (Resident Assistant) is your best friend (besides your roommate).

Don't be surprised during your second semester that half of the people that were on your floor the first semester are gone because half of them are going to fail. So don't do anything dumb.

Adios amigos,

Panchito