There are a lot of stupid ideas in this world. Religion, for one thing. But going into that is like going into a wolf's den wearing a Lady Gaga-like suit of meat. What about vending machines? Cruel bastards that take your money and, half the time, don't even reward you with the over-priced bag of chips anyway. Then there's high school. After having survived seven years of regular school that seemed hard enough, you're thrown into the lion's den with girls who think too highly of themselves and guys who take out their newly-found sexual frustration on those who haven't had the luxury of hitting puberty yet.

Glad I crossed that mile stone.

Long movies. I miss the good old days when I sat down in a movie theatre and could enjoy a simple story-line for ninety minutes, and walk out in the middle of the credits. But now movies can be two or even three hours long, making it incredibly awkward, and painful, to sit through if you finish your coke half way through then are busting to go when the film still has an hour left of absolute bullshit.

Another severely bad idea: eggs. Who had the idea of picking up what comes out of a chicken's ass, cooking it up and deeming it a high source of protein? Raw or cooked. I hate eggs.

But none of these even compare to the idea of blind dates. First dates are awkward enough, when you're not sure if you actually like the person, then have to try and find all their good qualities in that first hour, along with making yourself seem like you're totally worth their time. But throwing in the fact that you have no idea who they are when you show up to the restaurant or when they knock at your door? That just seems like a disaster waiting to happen.

"But it wouldn't even be a blind date! Not really! Erwin knows him!" Armin was clinging to my arm, wrinkling my suit sleeve and begging me for what felt like the trillionth time to accompany him and his new crush on a Valentine's Day bonanza of a good time. I think not.

"Armin! I don't know who this guy is, what he looks like, or his name! I don't even know Erwin that well. That sounds like a blind date to me!"

For almost a year now, Armin had been dancing around the idea of asking one of the department directors (not ours, thank God) out on a date. I kept telling him to go for it. To take a chance, jump his bones, all that good stuff. But Armin had kept making excuses; 'I don't know him well enough', 'he probably has a boyfriend', 'he probably isn't even interested in guys'. Which, taking one look at the man myself, I could deem was entirely not true at all.

Miracle of all miracles, Erwin ended up asking Armin out to a valentine's dinner, only to cancel the next day due to forgetting that he already had plans with his friend who was single and lonely and couldn't handle being alone for the holiday. So Armin, idiot that he is, suggested a double date with his own single and lonely friend who also couldn't handle being alone for the holiday.

Which, again, entirely not true.

I was very much looking forward to spending Valentine's day alone, in nothing but my underwear, a bowl of popcorn on my lap and an abundance of horror games at my disposal, shooting zombies in the head and avoiding the whistle that would only mean my character's doom. Armin, however, had other plans for me, and I was using everything I had to get out of them.

This myth that you need to have a date on Valentine's Day to be worth something is arrogant and rude and obnoxious and frankly, really a waste of time. If you do have someone special, shouldn't you treat every day like it's Valentine's day? Like it's the first day you've met and you're still learning everything about each other? Like you would choose them over and over again and it doesn't matter who else comes into the frame because you know it's them, it will always be them and you don't need to fool around to think otherwise!

Not that I'm speaking from personal experience.

"Please, Eren! I'll never ask you for anything ever again!"

"That's a lie if ever I heard it."

"Erwin and I can't have our date unless I bring someone!"

"So take Jean! He needs to get laid anyway."

"Jean has plans."

"That horse-face bastard has a date!? How much did he pay them?" I was chuckling at my joke as I poured the rest of my coffee down the break-room sink, looking over at the box of donuts and trying to decide whether it was worth the risk trying to find one that wasn't from the day before. "Why don't you just reschedule your date for another night? Why does it have to be Valentine's Day?"

"Because that's the only night Erwin is free! He got the night off for his friend but now he has a chance to spend it with me. He goes out of town for two weeks afterwards and by the time he gets back he'll have forgotten all about me and will have his eyes on some other blonde bimbo!"

Armin's face was red as he finished.

"You're not a bimbo, Armin, far from it. And if he changes his mind so easily, why do you even want to go out with him in the first place?"

"He likes Sylvia Plath!"

I groaned. Armin grew an instant fixation with any guy who knew the name of any of the old-fashioned authors he was obsessed with. I couldn't believe what I was hearing, and worse yet, that I was considering agreeing to it. Armin was still my friend, as much as I didn't want him to be at this moment, and I did honestly want him to have his date. I had grown sick of watching him pine after that broad-shouldered Englishman for all those months, and I knew I wouldn't be able to enjoy Valentine's Day like I had wanted if I knew I was the reason Armin wasn't enjoying the holiday like he wanted.

"You should go on a date, Eren! It'll be good for you!"

Ah. The 'motherly' approach. Changing tactics, Armin? Sorting your eggs into a different basket? I hate eggs.

"What the fuck does that mean?"

"Don't think I haven't noticed!" He had his hands on his hips and was giving an expression that told me I was about to be reminded heavily of my mother when she pulled my ears because I hadn't called her in two weeks. "You haven't had a single relationship since him."

I immediately flinched. I couldn't believe, of all the tactics Armin was trying, he chose to bring up the one reason I certainly didn't want to go out on this stupid date. Now I had flashes of dark hair, dark eyes and pale skin. Of dark clothes, dark rooms but light touches and a teasing tongue. I had flashes of warm fingers, a smooth voice, and a heavily beating heart that certainly wasn't my own. I flinched again.

"I've had relationships!" I argued. "Remember that chick who likes to eat bread a lot? She was fun!"

"I meant a long-term relationship! You haven't wanted to commit since you and him broke up."

"He left me, Armin. He didn't want to be with me, so he left me." My face was solid and my voice cold as I spoke, wanting this topic to be done with completely. "You don't just get over that."

"It's been a year," Armin had grown cautious, realising how much the thought of him still bothered me. "I'm not asking that you marry this guy! You're basically keeping him company for the night while Erwin and I have our own date. Then if you never see him again, that's your call."

I let out a heavy sigh, wanting nothing more than to walk out of the room as my final answer. But I had nowhere to go as lunch wasn't over for another fifteen minutes and as much as I hated it; Armin was right. My fear of dating had only grown since the break-up, and now I tended to end things around the three week mark. Just long enough to get a few frolics in the bedroom in but not quite long enough to make things official.

"Fine," I spat out through gritted teeth.

"Really!?" Armin was beside himself as he thanked me profusely, saying he would owe me big and that he'd get the details to me by the end of the day. I glared at his back as he went off to tell his new soon-to-be boyfriend, hoping his suit would burst into flames. Not enough to kill him. Just enough so he wouldn't be able to move come February 14.

But, alas, February 14 has come and Armin is as fair skinned as ever. Even more so as I imagine he'd have been taking care of his skin to a ridiculous level, hoping it would pay off tonight as him and Erwin did whatever him and Erwin planned to do. I didn't really like thinking about my best friend in that way. It was like thinking of your brother that way.

"Eren. I think they've stood us up," Armin's voice was solemn as he continued to glance over all the passing faces, hoping a familiar one would come into view shortly. I scoffed, reaching up to ruffle his smooth strands. I wanted to ask if Armin had dyed his hair even blonder than usual or if it was just the restaurant light that was making it look so golden.

"Armin. It's six-thirty. We were supposed to meet them at seven. We got here an hour earlier because you wanted, and I quote, 'to see Erwin's hair start to glow under the light of the chandelier as he enters the dimly lit restaurant, approaching me at a smooth but brisk pace, eager for what is to come.'" Armin's cheeks grew pink as he finally realised how utterly mortifying it was hearing that come from someone's lips. "Seriously, boy? Lay off the Sylva Plath and pick up a porno every once and a while."

I ate another breadstick as Armin took his mind off things by berating me for not combing my hair for the evening.

In truth, I felt just as nervous as Armin looked. The more I thought about it over the past week, the more excited I became for this blind date. True, I didn't know anything about him, but maybe that was a good thing. I would be surprised. I would have a clean slate. I would have to learn everything about him from scratch, and in an environment that was already oozing with romance, falling for him couldn't be too hard if he was a decent guy. The thought of a date going well for me had my stomach churning, and the fact that Armin would be here as some sort of helping hand only made me feel better about the whole situation.

"You're here early!" Both of us glanced over in unison to see Armin's dream scene come to life as Erwin entered the restaurant, handing his coat over to the service and then approaching our table. He certainly looked happy enough to be here. I rolled my eyes at the smile he gave Armin, patting his shoulder as he took his seat across from us. "I was hoping to arrive first and open a bottle of wine while we waited for you. I guess you beat me to it. You must be Eren."

I snapped out of whatever day dream I had been having, looking over to see a strong hand reaching towards me. I swallowed the rest of my breadstick before reaching over and shaking it.

"I'm Erwin Smith."

Well, duh. I could feel Armin's excitement radiating off him as he buzzed in the seat next to me, his blue eyes completely attached to Erwin's face and I bet that was where they would remain for the rest of the night.

"Wasn't there supposed to be two of you?" I asked, noticing nobody had followed him in. Armin's foot kicked me under the table, my apparent rudeness causing his motherly instincts to come back out. I hissed at him. Erwin only chuckled before answering in that English accent he used to win all the hearts. At least now I could understand why Armin was so smitten.

"He's parking the car. He doesn't trust the valet to do it without scratching the paint."

He sounds obnoxious. I took another breadstick, leaning back on the back legs of my chair and nibbling at it away while I waited for another person to join us so I wouldn't have to listen to Armin's giggles anymore. The two of them had already engrossed themselves in a heated discussion about the best authors of the eighteenth century, their voices rising and falling as they recounted their favourite tales to each other.

"You're going to break your neck doing that."

My entire world took a ninety degree turn as the entirety of my weight threw me back and landed me on the floor. There was a crash as I kicked the table in the process, the clattering of glasses falling to its surface and the centrepiece leaving the centre in favour of its own place on the floor. My head was throbbing as I tried to right myself, coughing and spluttering, trying to get the crumbs of the breadstick out of the back of my throat.

More visions filled my mind; flashes of thin lips and a crooked smirk, white teeth, a pierced tongue, all of it sinfully raining warmth down upon my own mouth, the lips opening to let out a string of deep laughter, its owner continuing to speak and telling me all the things I so desperately wanted to hear.

"That was graceful."

I looked up, and felt my entire world spinning again as I laid eyes on my ex for the first time in over a year. He was looking down at me with amusement, a small smile gracing those perfect lips, his hair combed back, a few strands escaping the style. He had left them there to try and hide his forehead, which he had always been unexplainably self-conscious of. His hand came down to take a hold of my shoulder and I was pulled to my feet like a rag doll.

"What the fuck are you doing here!?" I found my voice, spitting rage at the man and shoving his arm off me all at once.

"I was invited." His voice was smooth, calm, cool, as if seeing me didn't faze him in the least. It probably didn't. He could probably care less that this was the first time he had spoken to me in months. I bet he didn't have all the memories of our times together burning the backs of his eyelids every time he blinked, making him want to run and hide and throw up. Well I certainly did!

"You were what?" I glared angrily as he made his way around me, taking the seat next to Erwin.

Then it dawned on me. Erwin's friend who was 'single and lonely and couldn't handle being alone for the holiday'. The obnoxious way he wouldn't let people do their job. Armin's constant insistence that I accompany him for evening.

Levi was now my Valentine's date.

"I was invited," Levi clarified unnecessarily. "Now shall I pour you a glass of mine, or is it your turn to be the gentleman?"

He was still smirking at me. His eyes narrowed, the dark circles under them not hiding the lines that were creased, telling me he was trying very hard not to laugh in my face at this whole ordeal.

"Armin. A moment, please?" I didn't wait for an answer, grabbing the collar of his dress shirt and pulling him out of the chair and towards the men's room, leaving Erwin and Levi to clean up the mess I had made due to the surprise of a lifetime.

Once inside the ceramic tiled walls, I flung Armin against the sinks, my fist still curling in his collar as I glared daggers at his petrified face.

"You want to explain yourself to me?" My breath was heavy and my face was hot, my hair was a mess from when I had fallen and my skull was still throbbing under the brunette strands.

"I swear, Eren, I didn't know!" His thin fingers were grasping my fist, trying to loosen my hold. "Erwin made his friend seem slightly immature and like a bit of a smart-mouth. Not at all like Levi! I never would've guessed!"

I thrusted Armin away from me, grasping the edges of one of the sink basins and growled my escaping anger towards the faucet. Of course Armin never would have guessed, because Armin didn't know Levi like I knew Levi. On the surface, he seemed like a very well, put together, classy and sophisticated sort of man. But underneath, he was a snarky, sarcastic, smart-ass who liked to tell of a lot of poop jokes.

I wanted to punch something. I wanted to throw something at my reflection. I wanted to run and hide and not come back to this earth for a very, very long time.

"Eren," Armin had carefully placed a hand on my shoulder, which I shoved off and went to smash my head against the wall. The fresh pain helped, but also made my stomach twist tighter and my eyes sting harder. "I wouldn't have asked you to do this if I knew it was your ex. You can go home. I won't think badly of you."

"Except that's exactly what he wants me to do!" I was seething with rage, now realising I was trapped here, chained to this pathetic excuse for a date until it was finished. Because that's just how Levi was. He liked to finish things. He liked to start something and put all his energy into finishing it until he had done the best job he could do.

Like ruining me.

"Surely you can sacrifice your pride for one night-"

"Not to him!" I knew what Armin was going to say; that I let pride get the better of me even though it's okay to just walk away sometimes. That no one would think worse of me if I walked out of this restaurant. That anybody else would have done the same thing. "I've already given him enough!"

I didn't like that my voice was thick. I didn't like the way Armin was looking at me with the deepest pity. I didn't like the smell of the bathroom. I didn't like the food here. I didn't like feeling this way.

I took a deep, shuddering breath, walking back to the mirror to smooth out my hair at least a little, making sure my eyes weren't red and my cheeks weren't pink. Armin waited patiently for me to ready myself, straightening out his collar as he did. I apologised for creasing it as we left for our table again.

The centre piece had been taken away, replaced with a tray of appetisers. Some precious fish dish I was sure. But I vowed not to be picky, letting myself sit back down again and tried valiantly not to look Levi in the eye, though I could still feel him smirking at me. I would be pleasant to him. I would be curt and polite to him. I would show him he didn't affect me. That the show before was nothing but a direct result of an unexpected event.

"Your forehead is red."

"Shut up!"

Well, so much for that.

"I had no idea you two knew each other," Erwin was saying, giving Armin a curious look, silently asking him if this date was still a good idea. Armin gave him a nervous smile in return, eager to continue with the date, though not so eager to see how Levi and I would treat each other throughout the night.

"Oh, yeah. Eren and I go way back," Levi was saying, taking a long sip from his wine glass.

I hope he choked on it and dropped dead.

"What a remarkable coincidence. Why didn't you tell me you knew who I was setting you up with, Levi?" Erwin asked, offering an appetiser to Armin, who took a few. I didn't feel like eating fish. Besides, they looked like they had egg on them. Yuck.

"Didn't I mention that? I guess it slipped my mind."

It did not, you abominable twat. You knew it was me. You knew you would have the chance to come here and fuck with my head. You knew you'd be spending your Valentine's Day terrorising your ex, probably gloating over all the sluts you've fucked since we broke up. Well, sorry, but I'm not your toy anymore. I'm not going to give in to your expectations this time.

"Shall we order?" Armin spoke up, wanting nothing more than to break the tension that was steadily forming. I sort of felt sorry for Armin. He had been prepared to spend a night with the man he admired, hopefully watch as I did the same, only now he was stuck babysitting me and hoping I wouldn't do or say anything that would ruin the night.

Levi was still Erwin's friend, and how I acted towards Levi would affect how Erwin acted towards Armin.

Levi, the obnoxious beast that he is, ended up ordering for everyone. He ordered some kind of savoury pudding for Erwin (like there was such a thing), cheese and garlic pasta with some crazy vegetable side dish for Armin (are you trying to prevent my friend from getting laid?), salmon for him (that's bordering on cannibalism, you fish-faced bastard) and chicken and egg salad for me (without the egg salad).

So he remembered. That surprised me slightly. Surprised me that he had intentionally told them to hold the egg salad, giving me a curt smile as he did, obviously planning something else. The chicken was probably some rare breed that killed you if it wasn't cooked properly. He probably paid someone on the side to poison it, just to be sure he got the job done.

Levi even asked if they could replace the egg salad with mashed potatoes: which I loved. I scowled at him as the waiter walked away to tell the kitchen of the change in order. He smiled at me still, his eyes bright and mischievous, his entire body radiating something I couldn't quite put my finger on, but certainly didn't like the feeling of.

Soon, Armin and Erwin were locked in their own little world. I heard talk of vacations they had had before along with what parts of the world they wanted to visit, what books they wanted to read that were out of print, what television shows they liked. The regular first date sort of talk. I was happy Armin seemed to be getting along with Erwin so well, but as I turned to see Levi still smirking at me, my mood soured all over again.

"So, Eren," Levi was pouring me a glass of wine. I pushed it away from me, intent on remaining sober throughout the entirety of the night, not wanting to give Levi a chance to embarrass me further than he already had. "What's new in your life?"

I gritted my teeth, wanting to smack that smug, stupid expression right off his ass-eating face.

"I bought a new couch," I said stiffly, determined that that would be the only new source of information he would have on me for the rest of the night.

"Really?" He almost fooled me into believing he sounded even remotely interested.

After that, my short answers and over all attitude ended any type of conversation Levi tried to start. He kept his face smooth and his voice even smoother as he attempted to talk to me, not appearing deterred as I bit at him once or twice about annoying habits he used to have, and probably still did.

Dinner kept us distracted for a while, and I almost got away without risking the chicken, but it really did look wonderful and I was starving by that point. Luckily, whatever Levi had done to it didn't seem to be taking affect, and I ate the rest of it, but left the mashed potatoes untouched, determined not to let Levi think I might have appreciated the gesture.

Then we were back to starring at each other across the table. Levi, with a small smile on his lips, his jaw in his hand, his bangs starting to loosen from their hold in the gel he had used. Under the restaurant light, the glow of the chandelier, the flickering of his skin from the candle that sat between us, I hated to admit that he looked really good. Elegant and handsome, detailed and refined, not much of a change from his usual attire.

I remembered being utterly jealous of how Levi always managed to remain so pristine. Even after we had a vigorous session under the sheets, he had always managed to look like a god, with his sweaty bangs hanging in his face and the light sheen of sweat over his pale skin. I blinked once or twice, knocking the images out of my head, refusing to think of him that way again.

The soft piano music that had been playing in the background was replaced with a live orchestra. A dance floor opened up and it didn't surprise me in the least when Erwin grabbed Armin's much smaller hand and ushered him towards the floor. At least Levi had the decency to refrain from making a mockery of me in front of the entire restaurant, obviously also remembering my lack of co-ordination.

I stared hard at my plate, wishing the feeling of Levi's cool, grey eyes fixating on mine would disappear. But the feeling of those dark irises staring at my skin didn't leave me, and soon I even felt the unquestionable feeling of a socked foot working its way up my pant leg. I couldn't even blame the feeling on Erwin mistaking me for his preferred partner, as both Erwin and Armin were happily making fools of themselves on the dance floor.

I pushed my chair back suddenly, evading Levi's foot, glancing down just in time to see black, clothed toes disappear back under the tablecloth.

"Sorry," came his sweetened voice, which held no ounce of apology. "Force of habit."

"Force of habit, my ass," I muttered, though not at all quietly. He continued to smile at my sullen face.

"Want to dance?"

"Not even at all."

"It was worth a try."

"Oh so that was worth a try? But committing to one person, that's just a tad too hard for you, is it?"

I was surprised that I didn't feel elated at finally causing Levi's smile to drop. I was surprised that I actually felt guilty at having hurt him. I watched his eyes carefully, watched as a thousand different thoughts spun their webs in his head. I went back to looking at my plate, preferring the sight of the now cold potatoes to Levi's crestfallen face.

"Eren," his voice had gone soft, just like it had before he broke the news to me that I wouldn't be coming over for Friday night games anymore, that I wouldn't be allowed to kiss his stupidly gorgeous face anymore, that my nights would now be filled with an emptiness I couldn't remember how to live with.

"Just stop," I cut him off, not feeling like hearing whatever he had to say at all. "Don't try to explain it. Don't try to justify yourself. It doesn't matter. Going along with this date, manipulating Erwin into giving you a night with me, the egg salad and the mashed potatoes, none of that is going to work. I'm not affected by you anymore, Levi."

Because that's what had hurt the most. It wasn't that I seemed to be constantly catching Levi flirting with other men, or that I could tell him everything I loved about him and hear none of it in return, or that he was always telling me that we were moving too fast, though he seemed perfectly content to stick his tongue down another guy's throat. It was that Levi knew how tight a hold he had had on me.

He knew how much I had loved him. He knew what fucking with my feelings and toying with my emotions would do to me. He knew I would continue to stay be his side until it was him that dealt the final blow. He knew he couldn't be in a relationship with just one person. He knew all of this, but he fucking did it anyway.

"I've changed," were his only words. I actually had to laugh at that, laugh at how serious he sounded saying it, as if he thought for a second I would actually believe it.

"You've changed? That's your go-to response. You've changed?" I covered my mouth, stifling my laughter. "So what? You came here to win me back? Run your foot up my thigh and hope I'd be smitten with you all over again? You agreed to this date because you thought you would get a second chance?"

"Yes."

I gaped at him. At his dark eyes that told me he wasn't lying. At his jaw and his lips that were set in a hard line, just like they always were when he was telling me something I had no choice in hearing. He was completely serious, and that was probably the biggest surprise of the night.

I thought Levi was the bad guy. I thought he had come here to mock my broken heart. I thought he had come here to rub salt in the wound. But he was just here to rectify a mistake I knew he had been making. He was here to bring back a part of him he didn't know he had been losing. Maybe Levi had changed, maybe a year apart had done him some good, or maybe even losing me had done him some good. It didn't matter though. I wasn't willing to risk it all to find out.

"Erwin and I are leaving," Armin came trotting back to our table, his face flushed and his hair tangled, the tell-tale sign of a bruise forming just above his collar. When did those two find the time to sneak away and make out? "Erwin wants to pay the cheque. Are you guys done?"

I shoved my chair further back from the table so I would have room to stand up.

"Yeah." I gave Levi one last look, my eyes hard and my lips drawn down, my shoulders slumped and my fists clenched. "We're so done."

I turned and stormed out of the restaurant, not even bothering to collect my coat as I left, intent on returning home, forgetting this entire night had ever existed and spending Valentine's Day the way I had originally intended.