This is the first time I've ever published a fic for others to read. I don't have the talent to write something beautiful like most amazing writers out there so please bear with me. I was inspired to write this after putting B.A.P's latest song 1004 (Angel) on repeat for days.

You may want to listen to this song while you read this. Here's a link for you: watch?v=ClOJYaAbDkw.

I know it's Valentine's Day today but I couldn't help but post a sad fic.

DISCLAIMER: I do not own the characters of Fairy Tail. Translation of the song is done by pop!gasa.

Moonlight streamed in from the outside as a certain salmon-haired mage jumped into a room through the window.

"I'm back," he whispered.

Everything was left in place; as how it was four months ago. Her bed. Her couch. Her writing desk. Her unfinished manuscript.

The disheveled boy took unsteady steps towards the desk and opened the drawer, revealing a diary. He sat down and shakily flipped opened the pages. He read through the contents for the umpteenth time, tears never failing to fall.

Dear Mama,

I'm going to stop being in denial. Everyone is right. I'm in love with my partner and best friend but I know he'll never reciprocate these feelings.

Remember I told you about his childhood friend, Lisanna? Well, it seems like she never did die two years ago; she was somehow transported to another world called Edolas and returned to Earthland a few days ago. He was so happy about her return. Everyone in the guild was. Of course, I'm overjoyed that a family member has returned. She seems like a nice girl. I hope we'll become good friends.

I could tell how much he missed her. He has been by her side the past few days and I don't blame him, really. I would probably do the same thing if I were him. But, it really hurts to see the one you love; love another. I used to think there might be a possibility of us having a future together but I guessed wrong. He isn't my prince charming; we were never meant to be.

As his best friend, I'm going to give them my blessings. I'll do what a best friend does. To stand by him and support him.

I hope one day, I'll find my soul mate too.

Your daughter,

Lucy Heartfilia

He slammed the book shut, screaming out her name in desperate hope that his voice would reach her and she would come back.

You're like an angel, who has left me and gone somewhere
I need you

I don't know how I'm living
After you left me, I'm going crazy
Every day, every night
I can't even sleep
I'm all alone, drinking away, cry

He wished he could turn back time. He would do anything to turn back time. To make up for the hurt he had put her through. To make up for the time he could have spent with her.

He remembered those days clearly. Those days where he wasn't by her side. Those days where he would only acknowledge her presence and turned his full attention back to Lisanna. Those days where he just cast her aside.

He never saw the hurt on her face. He never saw how she would always look at them in sadness from across the guild. He never saw the tears that fell.

She never complained about how he was neglecting her. She never stopped him from going on missions with Lisanna alone. She never once blamed him for abandoning her.

He took it all for granted.

Erza and Gray had cornered him one day, telling him to spend more time with her because she was lonely. He only laughed at them, saying that if she was lonely, she could hang out with the rest of the guild members.

He buried his face on the bed as he continued sobbing. The bed where he loved to sleep in because it was the most comfortable bed ever. The bed where he loved to sleep in because she was there beside him. The bed where it was now cold and empty because she was gone.

So I miss you (I think of you) and I need you (every day)
I can still hear your voice
Come back to me (I don't have anyone) Come back to my side (but you)
You're like an angel

The reason I live is you
I don't think I can see you anymore, I think I'm really dying
The person to love me is you
Shine on me in the darkness

Look at me now
Come to me now
(Come back to me, how am I supposed to live?)
Look at me now
Come to me now
(How am I supposed to live without you every day?)

The fated day arrived.

He stopped talking to Erza and Gray after the day they confronted him. The cold war between the team members went on for days until she decided to put an end to it. She dragged the three of them to the mission board and demanded that they patch up by going on a mission together. He vehemently protested as he had promised to go a mission with Lisanna that day.

He would never forget the smile she gave him and the words she said.

"We are more than happy to have Lisanna on the team."

He remembered Erza and Gray's protests and disapproving glances. He remembered how Lisanna's face lit up. He remembered her soft and genuine smile as she returned Lisanna's hug.

She had the biggest heart. She was an angel.

She was his angel. But he could never tell her that anymore.

I didn't know you would really leave me
You were like an angel
Why am I such a good-for-nothing?

Oh no, you have turned away from me
I'm a fool who has lost you
I'm like a beggar
I can't do anything without you

It was supposed to be an easy mission. They were only tasked to capture a group of bandits who had been attacking people as they travelled through the forest. They never expected the group of five bandits to be very strong mages.

They were caught off guard and were forced to split up.

A scream rang from a distance. With a final blast of fire, he took down the mage he was fighting with and ran towards the scream.

He was greeted with the most horrifying scene. A scene he would never forget.

Lisanna was on the floor; too heavily injured to move. The mage charged towards the injured girl with the sword in his hand. But before he could make a move, she ran in front of Lisanna to shield the girl.

His heart stopped when he saw the blade slice right through her body.

He couldn't remembered what happened. He only remembered being blinded by rage and the next thing he knew, the mage was on the floor, unmoving.

He whipped his head back to where she was laying. He screamed her name as he picked her up, begging for her to open her eyes.

She did. But she closed them for the final time as she whispered those last words. The words that would haunt him for the rest of his life.

"I didn't want you to lose her again."

So I miss you (I think of you) and I need you (every day)
My wasted self is so pitiful
Hug me (I don't have anyone) Embrace me (but you)
You're like an angel

The reason I live is you
I don't think I can see you anymore, I think I'm really dying
The person to love me is you
Shine on me in the darkness

He remembered the shocked faces of the guild members when they walked into the guild with her in his arms. He remembered the screams from Levy. He remembered Mira and Wendy breaking down into tears. He remembered Cana's wails as she clung onto Gildarts. He remembered Gajeel kicking a table against the wall.

He remembered how it never stopped raining on that day. It never stopped raining for days.

He refused to attend the funeral. He refused to see her being lowered into the cold, hard ground. He refused to see her name carved onto the stone.

He never left her house for weeks. He didn't want to admit that she was gone.

His friends would come by every day, pounding on the door. He didn't want to see anyone. He didn't want to see the pitiful glances from those who weren't there to see it all happen. He didn't want to see the anger from Erza and Gray. He didn't want to see the guilt from Lisanna. He didn't want to see the tears from Happy.

He only wanted to see those beautiful brown eyes and the sweet smile of hers. He wanted to hear her laughter. He wanted to hear her scream at him. He wanted to hold her close and take in the scent of strawberry and vanilla. He wanted to tell her how sorry he was.

He wanted to tell her how much he loved her.

It's like I'm so out of it
I'm so blank every day
After you left, I've become ruined
Come back to me, I only had you

Hurry and save me
Stop, please don't go far from me (don't leave)
Never let you go

I want to find you
Where, where, where am I going?
To the place where you are
A better day, a better day, a better day
You're like an angel

It has been four months since the day she left.

He never got over it. He couldn't get over it. He would never get over it.

It all happened because of him. Because he failed to notice she was the most important person to him. Because he failed to notice that he couldn't live without her. Because he failed to notice how much she meant to him until he lost her.

He pounded his fists onto the floor. Crying. Screaming. He backed against the wall, bringing his knees to his shaking body, he continued to sob.

He finally grew tired. Grieving had taken a toll on him.

He whispered, tears still sliding down his cheeks, before falling asleep.

"I love you, Lucy…"

The reason I live is you
I don't think I can see you anymore, I think I'm really dying
The person to love me is you
Shine on me in the darkness

Look at me now
Come to me now
(Come back to me, how am I supposed to live?)
Look at me now
Come to me now
(How am I supposed to live without you every day?)

His angel was never coming back.