IMPORTANT AN NOTE PLEASE READ

AN: Okay as a quick notice. So I reviled the fact that Severus and Mary are siblings. From now on, when the story is told from Severus point of view, Mary will be called Alina. I would also like to point out that Severus still cares about his sister and that at times he will seem a bit ooc, but please remember that I am trying to keep him in character as much as possible. Further explanations will be told in the story. I would also like to know if I should continue this story, due to the things that happen in the fifth book. I won't say what I mean, don't want to spoil it for those who haven't read it yet, but those who have understand why I'm asking. So please let me know what you think. Should I continue or not? (The dream I talk about a bit about in this chapter, is when Snape becomes a Death Eater. Remember she thinks that this is only a dream.) Other than that here is a short sum up of the story so far:

mary lived in the alps, meat sirius (chapter one), sirius left and got caught by voldemort guy, that talked about a stone, almost got he soul sucked out by dementors, some big shiny thing rescued him (chapter two) mary finds sirius, takes him back, dumbledore show up, mary throws both of them out, (chapter three) mary has a lot of memories about her brother, she also remember that she got a suicide note from him (chapter four) dumbledore shows up again and manage to convince Mary to teach at Hogwarts, reasons are not know yet, she goes there and meets the talking cat Eon, (chapter five) first lesson (chapter six) a week later, she finds out that Severus Snape is her brother (chapter eight) and that is where we left, just after Snape relies that Mary is his sister

again soon sorry for the long wait. I had to cut this short so I could get some thing out. It also was a way to work around the troubles that I had with this chapter.

Luna Writer

Chapter 8: Forgiving isn't easy.

It was Severus who broke the silence. "So," he said. Mary raised an eyebrow, not saying a thing.

"Correct me if I'm wrong, but you pretend that you are a muggel. Even so, you have managed to become teacher in the only magical school in the UK."

"It's not that simple!" she snapped.

"Why don't you give it a try then?" He snapped back.

"I tried to escape the magic world the last 17 years. I was about to think that I had managed it when in the beginning of the summer I am dragged here to teach about muggels, and then who do I meet? My brother who I thought committed suicide 14 years ago! And to top it all off, does he recognize me."

"So the problem is that I didn't recognize you?"

"NO. Don't you get it?" she glared at him. "No, I don't get it. And while we are talking about recognizing people, the last time I checked I didn't change my name. You did."

"I didn't get your name when you where introduced. And so what, does that make me an idiot or some thing?"

"So what is your problem?" he sneered

"I'm angry at you because you didn't let me know that you didn't kill your self."

"You never answered did you? I thought you might try to forget me.?

"I didn't answer? Of course I answered. It was the only chance I had to send you some thing, ever."

"I never got it. And why would you answer a suicide note?"

"WHAT!" she screamed in a high pitched voice. "Okay, look, you were just mad at me because you thought that I hadn't answered, and now you are calling me an idiot because I did?"

"I never called you an idiot, and I never said I was mad at you. You are the one that are mad"

"You're not mad at me? Ha. I don't believe that for a second, just because you don't have the urge to throw things around."

"And what exactly did you write then, dear sister." He said with false sweetness. "That you wished me a happy trip, and that the earth was going to be a far better place without me?"

"How dare you think that I would even consider writing some thing like that? Like I don't care? I am not our father, remember?"

"Well you left, leaving me to get the blame."

"There was a limit to how much dirt I could take."

"As I recall I stayed there longer than you did. I took it longer."

"But if you can remember you where always getting perfect grades in every thing. And you got sorted into the right house, and all that other crap. I on the other hand, couldn't since I was nine even use a wand, because they kept exploding. I have absolutely no regrets of leaving, except that I was leaving you behind as well." She had put her hands on her hips and looked challengingly at him.

"Then why on earth did you come back?"

"Well" she said frustrated "I, eh.."

"Yes?" he answered in a silky drawl.

"I was forced. Okay?" He let out a snort "By who"

"Albus Dumbledore."

"That I don't believe. Albus Dumbledore doesn't force anyone to do anything. He makes them do it, but not by force. More with guilt and clever words."

"Well, by guilt then. He told me some things, and after that I couldn't say no. Happy? And by the way, you are teaching. Who twisted your arm?" He scowled at her.

"No one twisted my arm."

"That I find hard believe."

"Why?"

"Teaching Severus? I know you, you aren't the kind. I'll bet every student is terrified of you."

"First, you don't know me at all. You might have, in the past, but I changed." He was leaning on the desk with his hands.

"And what, found that teaching was your call? I don't believe it. Not for one second, even if you have changed."

"What if I did, eh? You wouldn't know now, would you. You left, god damit."

"Oh and you're trying to play the guilt card? I don't take that kind of crap. It doesn't work on me. Not one bit."

"So what you are saying is that you have grown up to be self-centred little person who don't give a damn about her brother any more."

"Why, isn't that the pot calling the kettle black." She spat back at him. Mary didn't know why they where fighting like they where, but anger had been building up in her for quite some time now, and her brother had just stuck a hole in the bag, so it all came flowing out on him.

"You have never once let me know if you where okay, if you even where alive. You never ever sent me a letter. Never. How do you think I felt about that?"

"I was trying to be understanding you ignorant git." She spat.

"Understanding. About what?" "I didn't think that father would enjoy that you got a letter from the muggel world."

"And you thought I would live with father for my whole life?"

"No, but you seem to forget that I didn't have an owl, I needed an address and I didn't have yours. And why didn't you send me a letter? The only one I ever got stated that you were going to kill yourself. I can't even imagine what could have made you do some thing like that. You always despised it. That it was the weak way out or some thing." Snape crossed the room and stood towering over her.

'What you need to do, Alina, is to get your butt down from the fairy land you are living in and see reality. I have changed, and things aren't the same way as they were when we where kids"

"Fairy land. I do not live in a fairy land." "If you thought that my views on things haven't changed in 20 years, then you are." "I know that opinions change, but I also thought that some things don't change. Obviously I was wrong. I thought I saw my brother again today, but all that is left is his shell, the rest really did die that night."

"Yes, I guess you're right." After the words had escaped his lips, he almost regretted them, because the look on her face was as if he had hit her, he saw the sadness that crossed her face, like a loss all over again, and watched that same face pull it self together and change into a emotionless mask he knew all too well.

"Well then, I won't take any more of your time, Professor Snape," she said coldly, the words strange in her mouth. "Goodbye" and with that she turned and left. Away from the potions room, away from the dungeons, away from the bloody castle. She walked down towards the lake, feeling sorrow well up in her again. It was like she had lost him all over again. She had been a little annoyed with him, but not that annoyed. Why couldn't she learn to keep her mouth shut. If she had approached the whole thing differently"

"NO." she hissed to her self. "this is absolutely no time to go into the ifs and buts. If you do you know that you will never be able to stop."

Mary stopped by the edge of the lake. A soft chilly wind bore a promise of cold weather as it started playing with her hair. She willed herself not to cry. She wouldn't cry. To cry was just an other sign of weakness, and she wouldn't let that happen. She couldn't let that happen.

Mary didn't know how long she stood there, in the cold wind, lost in her own thoughts. It was nice to be out of the walls of the castle, not to sense the walls and all the magic that was in them, it made her feel trapped. Caged like an animal, with nowhere to escape. But outside it was better. She was lost in her feelings, trying to ignore some and welcoming others. And all the time memories filtered her thoughts. She came back to reality of the sound of quick foot steps. She turned around and saw her brother hurry away from the castle and in on a path. She hurried after him and even though she had to run to even keep up with him, she caught up with him.

"Where are you going?" He turned around and saw her standing there.

"What do you want?" "I want to know where you are going."

"It is none of your business, Professor." That stopped in her in her tracks and he turned around and walked even faster away. But Mary wasn't his sister for nothing, and that was certainly not enough to stop her from finding out where he was going. Because no matter what she had said, he was still her brother and she still cared from him. So she followed him, like she had in her dream. Mary wasn't sure if he knew that she was there, but it didn't matter, she was going to find out anyway. But when they reached the ends of the grounds he Apparated away and Mary stood left looking at where he had been. Her mind was working furiously, he could of course be of to some bar or something, but for whatever reason she didn't think so. This was something else, and why would he be going away when she knew that he had classes the next day. So she turned around and started walking back towards the castle. But on her way back she saw someone else walking out at night, only this figure was heading towards the lake. The moon had come from behind a cloud and shone down on the figure, and she recognized him has Mr. Potter. She took a deep sigh and felt that all she wanted was to have a nice long sleep, but she supposed that as a teacher she should find out what he was up to, out of the castle at this hour. So she walked quickly after the boy and caught up with him. Mary tapped him on his shoulder and he leapt into the air and turned around, his black cloak falling to the ground. "Mr Potter what do you think you are doing out here after curfew?" "Eh" was all he managed to say. "Is that how you usually answer your professors? Come on boy." "I was taking a walk, professor." "After curfew?"

"Yes," Harry's mind was a bit to surprised to find a good excuse, and after the word had escaped him he tried to explain himself. "You see, I am having trouble sleeping, and so I thought that some fresh air might be good, and" but he trailed off at the look that his professor gave him. "That is doing you no good, mr Potter. I" but she stopped. There was something in the young face that reminded her of something, something forgotten. "Just get back to your dormitory." He turned around and started walking back to the castle, when he stopped. "Professor?" "Yes, mr Potter?" "May I ask why you are out here?" "You can ask all the questions in the world, Mr. Potter, but that doesn't mean that I am going to answer a single one." "So, why?" "You should head back now, before I change my mind and give you a detention." He nodded. "Thanks Professor." And then he left.

Mary noted that he had forgotten his cloak. She picked it up and looked at it. It seemed like a perfectly normal cloak to her, so she folded it and hung it over her arm. And headed back towards the school. She was almost at the entrance to her chambers when she bumped into McGonagall. "Ah, professor Jenson, may have a word with you?" "It is very late and I'd like to get to bed." "It will only take a second." "Okay." "I found Mr Potter wandering around in the halls and gave him detention with me but, you see, I don't really have time for it and I was wondering if you would mind taking over for me?" "No, not at all. When is it?" "Tomorrow, at 8." "Just send him to my office." "Thank you very much professor Jenson." "Please, call me Mary." "Then I must insist that you call me Minerva." "Good night." "Good night."

Mary walked up the stairs to her bedroom, and had curled up in bed when someone was banging on the door. She wondered if she ignored it the person would go away, but came to the conclusion that the banging would keep her from sleeping, so she slung her bathrobe and went to see who it was. The banging had increased to a loud banging and it was starting to cause a headache. "I'm coming. I'm coming." She opened the door and found Madam Pomefry outside. "What can I do for you?" "What you can do is get back to the hospital wing. I told I need you under my surveillance, Professor Jenson. I can not let you sleep." "What?" "Come on, now," the medi witch said and more or less dragged Mary back to the hospital wing. "There, now get to bed." "Can I sleep?" "Yes, but I am going to wake you up every half hour. Just so you know." Mary crawled under the covers and sank back onto the pillows and two seconds later she was sound asleep.

Madam Pomefry did wake her up every half hour, but the minute she was allowed to sleep she did. That was until around three aclock. She was being woken up and forced to sit up and have a few words with the witch, then she was handed a glass of water and after she had drunk it, Madam Pomefry left her to go to sleep again. But for some reason Mary couldn't. There was some thing in the air that made her stay awake. And she was right, a few minutes later, Madam Pomefry came back inside the room for teachers (for the rare occasions they had to be in the hospital wing), and she was helping someone into a bed further away from Mary. Because of the dark and the fact that she was lying down she couldn't see who was lying there. After what seemed like forever, Madam Pomefry left. Mary sat up and got out of the bed. She walked silently over to the other bed, and there, as white as the sheets around him, lay her brother. She could see bruises over his face, and a bandage on his shoulder that she supposed also went over his chest. He looked so much younger than when she had seen him earlier. The lines on his face were gone, and he looked restful. But she supposed that was only because Madam Pomefry had given him some thing to sleep. She gave a sigh, and went back to the bed she had been sleeping in.

But for Mary that was all the sleep she had for that night. She couldn't help feeling very guilty, of what she was guilty of she wasn't really sure of, but she felt guilty. She sighed, rolled over and tried for the thousandth time to go to sleep.

***

It had now been a month since she had argued with her brother, and about all her spare time was used to think about it, not that that was very much time. She worked more than she had in years. Most of her time up in the mountains had been devoted to long walks, or riding trips. She was used to being very much outside, and now she was chained to a desk, again. She couldn't help shudder every time she thought about her school years. But no matter how much work she had, the guilt came back just before she fell asleep, during the meals, and in between classes. But she couldn't forgive him, no matter how much guilt she had.

***

Severus couldn't sleep. There wasn't, of course any thing new about that, but the reason was new. She was his sister. The thought had still to sink down to fully comprehend it. And he felt guilty of course, for not letting her know he was alive. It was, of course the easy way out. Not dealing with the consequences, but it seemed that fate had it in for him, and the past would always haunt him, in a form of a dark mark or in the from of his sister. Which brought him to another thing, she didn't know about the mark. And even though a little voice in the back of his head said that he should tell her, that was something he wanted to keep from her as long as possible. He did want to throw something, and the closest thing he had was the glass in is hand. He looked at it, like you would look at a stone that caught your eye. And then very calmly threw it against the wall. He watched the glass splinter into a thousand pieces and the rest of the liquid that had been in the glass form a dark spot on the wall. He sighed and waved his wand at the pieces, and they flew back together into a glass, like nothing had happened. Yes he did feel guilt, but he couldn't forgive her, not yet.

A/n: Ok I am working on the next chapter, and I promise that it will come up soon. Mary finds out that Severus IS and Death eater and there will also bee a bit more revealed about her past. Won't say any more

LW

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