"It won't fucking work," Levi said plainly.

"No! No...just...just listen," Hanji said, her glasses flashing as she unrolled a map of the mountain regions just inside of Wall Maria. Gathered around the table, the members of the new Squad Levi rubbed their eyes. Hanji had showed up in the middle of the night, alone except for a very disgruntled Moblit, carrying two armfuls of papers and maps. Sasha sat at the end of the table, fighting to keep her eyes open. Across from her, Connie was snoring softly and Jean was staring blankly at the wall behind her. Only Hanji, Levi, and Armin seemed to be truly awake. Even Mikasa had dark circles under her eyes.

"I know it's probably a stretch," she said excitedly, pointing to a tiny dot on the map, "But don't you think it's at least a little interesting that all three of the titan shifters reported that they were from the same place in their Training Corps applications? I took a look at the records, and it looks like they're all from this one tiny village out here...doesn't that seem strange?" Hanji looked around the table, eyeing all of them expectantly. No one seemed to get it. She sighed loudly. "What I mean to say is, it seems like if they had been lying about where they were from, they would have at least had the common sense to say that they were from different villages, or make themselves harder to track by saying that they were from one of the city districts."

Armin looked up. "So you think that's the 'hometown' Reiner talked about? It can't be. The way they talked about it, it seemed like it was outside the walls."

Hanji shrugged happily, satisfied that someone was finally responding. "You're probably right, but there might be something else there, something important. We can't know without going to look. I doubt it would be so easy to find, but there's obviously some connection to them in that village. Who knows what we might learn?"

"Who gives a fuck what we might learn if half my squad ends up dead," Levi growled. "Your plan is shit."

"No no no." Hanji waved her hands over the map like she was performing a spell. "I've got it. I figured it out. Look, so we know one thing for sure here. At least Ymir is going to come after Chri….Historia. She made that pretty clear."

All eyes turned toward the little yellow-haired girl. Sasha still couldn't attach the name Historia to her. She was Christa. Then again, she still couldn't believe that three of her comrades had secretly been titan shifters…four, counting Ymir. Sasha propped her head up with her hands. She could learn the plan later.

"Listen, guys," Hanji was saying as Sasha dozed off. "Ymir's titan's eyes are different form a humans, remember? You all saw them, all black, yeah? So I was thinking, see, and my hypothesis is that with those eyes, she can't see as well as one of us. Other animals with eyes like that tend to be colorblind or have what we would consider blurry vision, and with the speed that she moves, it's probably not a bad guess to say Ymir might not be able to pick out faces in her titan form."

"What are you saying?" Historia asked quietly

Hanji grinned, her glasses glowing devilish white. "Here's the plan."

.

Sasha's fingers shook as tugged her hood down over her forehead, blocking the sky from her line of sight. All she could see was her nervous horse's twitching neck and the cobblestone road below them. At her sides, Eren and Levi's mounts pawed the ground, snorting. She could see the corporal turning around in his saddle and shouting orders at the supply wagons, Eren staring down at his hands. He must have sensed her eyes and raised his gaze, looking at her now. Sasha swallowed.

"You nervous?" he mouthed.

She was silent for a moment, then nodded. Eren reached over and put his hand on her knee, the only place he could reach from his saddle. His fingers were hot through the tough fabric of her trousers, and Sasha wondered what it must be like to be able to turn into a titan. He must not be as afraid as she was. "You're going to be fine. This is the safest part of the formation."

"This is also the part that Ymir will look first if she comes."

Eren shook his head, smiling, though he was faking it and she knew it. "Come on, Sash. You were in the top ten! You know how to kick any titan's ass—have a little more confidence."

She felt like she was going to cry. She had grown to accept missions where she was likely to die. Likely was not a death sentence, but a warning. Likely meant that she had to be careful, but that if she fought tooth and nail she could get out. Likely was a challenge. But this…

"Sure," she said.

Of course it would be her. Mikasa and Armin were the only others who could have pulled it off, and they were both too valuable to the squad. It could have been Connie, but he would have given everything away too quickly with his big mouth.

She reached up and brushed strands of blonde hair out of her eyes as Levi gave the signal to move out.

.

There was an eerie silence outside of Wall Rose.

The squad moved quickly, their horses panting and pounding the earth with their hooves. 3D-maneuver gear clinked and banged against soldiers' thighs and the capes of their uniforms flapped like sails in the wind, but still, a bizarre quietness hung over the party like a ghost. The titans hadn't appeared yet, though everyone knew they would. She felt her body on edge, more sensitive to everything around her. The sound of the layers of her clothes scratching against each other, the rough rubbing of the fabric on her skin, the itch of the wig against her scalp…they made the muscles in her back tighten. She held the reigns with one hand, the other on one of her swords. Hanji had told her not to draw them until it was absolutely necessary—Historia almost always waited until the last moment to join the fighting, and it could give her away. But how else am I supposed to protect myself?

Out of the corner of her eye, she watched Levi riding, his eyes sharp and cold, his powerful body rising and falling with the motion of his horse. Even in the heat of summer in the southern districts, he was still wearing his cravat. As she watched, he reached up and loosened it, revealing the sleek muscle of his neck and the smooth line of his collarbone. For a moment, she forgot about her nerves. He may have been short, but his body was…

The corporal's eyes flicked to her and he shouted over the din of the horses, "What's wrong, Braus? Your face is red. You gonna be sick?"

She snapped her head forward, shaking her head violently as if she could shake off the vivid blush in her cheeks. He was her superior. There was no way. Plus, he was a head short than her.

Instead, she looked back over to Eren. There was no way there, either, not with the way Mikasa acted, but he was her age, and he was a much…better distraction than Levi. Even with his hood on, she could see his vicious, bright eyes, "criminal's eyes", Armin had called them. And they were. He looked like he could kill someone in a second, but there was something else there too. She had only seen it once, when they were alone together, cleaning their barracks so that Levi wouldn't skin them alive. A playful light that made his green eyes light up like the sky, and she wanted to see it more. She wanted to see him to look at her that way.

Sasha had to admit, she was a little jealous of Mikasa and Armin. They knew him in a way she never could.

Her gaze swept over his body, thinner than the adult soldiers but still rippling with muscle. Yes…a good distraction. She felt the tension in her back ease as she looked at the places where his shirt stretched over his chest and shoulders, wishing that she could feel instead of see. She watched the way his hips thrust with the motion of his horse, back and forth, so hypnotic. Maybe her horse would die, she joked with herself, and she would have to share his.

An idiotic idea came into her head, but her addled mind made it seem like a good idea."Hey, Eren," Sasha muttered, only just loud enough for him to hear. He looked up, his face still showing how nervous he was. She fixed her eyes on him darkly, keeping her face blank. "We should make like the colossal titan and get steamy."

For a second, he just stared at her, and Sasha knew that she had made the wrong call. Then slowly his mouth cracked into a smile and he fought back the urge to laugh. "Hey, Sasha," He said, fighting to keep a straight face, "Do you want to see my other titan?"

She ducked her head to keep the corporal from seeing her snicker. "Hey, Eren, you've got the key, so how about I let you into my basement?"

Eren tried to cover up his snort with a cough as Hanji looked over at them suspiciously. "Hey, Sasha," he shot back, "Are you a potato? 'Cause I want to eat you, if you know what I mean."

"Dammit, why can't everyone get over that!"

He laughed again, and she smiled despite the potato joke. There was definitely no way she could ever be with Eren, but it was still fun. Maybe, she thought, everything would be alright after all. Maybe they wouldn't even see a titan. The village was pretty remote anyway, right?

After a moment Sasha noticed that Jean was watching her over his shoulder, his horse galloping a few meters ahead of hers. She straightened and raised her eyebrows, silently asking him what he needed, but he just looked back at the horizon.

Pulling her horse forward, she came to ride alongside him. "What's up? You alright?" Sasha asked.

"Yeah," Jean said, pulling his hood farther down. "You?"

"I mean…" She caught herself staring into space as she thought about her role in this mission. She shook her head and smiled as much as she could. "I'm doing what I signed up for, I guess."

He nodded. "Yeah."

.

"I can't! There's no way."

"I'm sorry," Hanji was saying, "But if the plan is going to work it has to be you. No one else's body looks enough like Historia's to pull this off."

Sasha gripped the wood of her chair, now alone at the table. She felt tears spilling out of her eyes but refused to acknowledge them by raising her hand to wipe them away.

"So the point is…that I die and Historia gets away," she stated plainly.

Levi stood up. "We're going to do everything we can to make sure you don't die. We're going to have the best squads there to make sure both of you stay safe. This is just an extra precaution."

Sasha started, "Why not Armin? He's smaller…" but couldn't finish. "Nevermind," she said. "I understand."

"You're not going to die, Braus," Levi murmured as Hanji left. The intimate quietness of his voice sent warm sparks fizzing in her chest, but she was too scared for it to comfort her. "I'm going to protect you, me personally." He put his hands on her shoulders as she held hers clutched tight in her lap. "You don't have to be afraid."

Sasha felt a tear explode on her palm. "Levi…" she said, using his first name for the first time in her life.

"What?" he asked quietly.

"Do you really believe that my life is worth less than hers?"

Suddenly a dark shadow fell over his face and he pulled his hands back from her. "You have your orders," he said coldly, bringing his hand up to his face as he turned his back to her. "Get some sleep."

.

"Sasha? You're scared aren't you?"

She pulled herself out of her memory and looked up at Jean, finding his amber eyes fixed on her. "I said I wasn't," She said quietly, but he flicked the reins of his horse and pulled it closer to hers Reaching across the space between them, he wiped a tear off of her face, matching the rocking of her horse to keep from hurting her.

"It's okay to be afraid," Jean said, "I would be terrified."

Sasha quickly smeared the teardrops off of her face before anyone else could see. "I was afraid when I left my village," She murmured, looking around at the other soldiers, wondering how many of them knew what her mission was. Had Hanji told them? "I was afraid when joined the survey corps," she continued, "I was afraid when I realized that Bertholdt was the colossal titan, and when Ymir said that she had to save Christa from something inside the walls. Now? I don't care anymore. I'm tired, Jean," She said, looking up at him, at his face, and she realized for the first time that he really was a beautiful person. He watched her with eyes filled with surprise, as if he couldn't believe she was giving up so easily. It made her chest tighten. "I'm tired. All I ever want to do is get enough sleep, but I kept getting woken up so that someone can tell me that one friend is secretly evil and another is dead."

Jean stared at her, his hood blowing back over his broad shoulders and showing her his whole face. He was so handsome. It felt like a waste. She had only realized after it didn't even matter. Ahead of them, a forest rose up on the horizon. "What are you saying, Sasha?"

"I'm saying that I'm exhausted, living this kind of life," she said, "I got picked for this mission because I'm the least valuable, because someone higher up decided that I stood to do the most good for humanity by dying in someone else's place. And so what? I'm tired, Jean. Maybe I want to go to sleep for a while."

"How could you say that!" he shouted, and several of the soldier's heads jerked towards them. He grit his teeth and lowered his voice, "Don't ever say something like that, Sasha. You're not worthless." He reached over and took her hand, squeezing it so hard that she could feel her bones grinding against each other. Ahead of them, a line of trees was fast approaching, the scraggly beginnings of a forest. "You're important. You're so important. You're stronger than any of the rest of us here for being as brave as you are right now. You can't just give up on yourself like that!"

She held his hand for a second, and then shook him off. "You can't do that. Not now." She muttered, looking around at all the soldiers around them. She sighed. "Maybe giving up makes it easier."

"Shut the hell up Sasha," Jean hissed through his teeth. "Don't say things like that. You don't have to make anything easier because you're not going to die." He touched her hand again, only for a second, then let her go. "When we get home, Sasha…I want… I mean…"

Sasha raised her eyebrows at him in surprise and Jean blushed slightly, looking down at his hands. "What are you talking about, Jean?"

He pulled his hood back over his face and swallowed, his Adam's apple bobbing up and down his neck. "I think we should be together," he said bluntly, turning away from her so that she barely caught the last word.

Levi fired a round to the west and the soldiers all turned into the forest, horses leaping over the roots of trees and landing with great crashes of twigs and dry leaves. Her horse went left around a tree while his went right and she lost the rest of the group in the sea of branches, finding herself alone for a moment in the woods. Out of the corner of her eye, she thought she saw something shift in the trees. Something big. A cold emptiness settled in her stomach.

"Only a little farther!" she heard Hanji shout jubilantly, and Sasha followed her voice back to the rest of the soldiers. "How unlucky! Not a single titan…" the squad leader pouted, but eventually shrugged and smiled again. "Maybe on the way back I'll find an aberrant," she said almost to herself.

"How close are we, Hanji?" Sasha asked, her horse galloping between Levi and Hanji now. She could see Eren to her left and Jean in front of her again, back in formation.

"It's around here," Hanji said. "I don't know exactly where, but we should be coming upon it…"
Almost as she said it, a small, ruined hunting lodge came into view, its roof smashed in. Sasha felt her hands begin to shake and she unconsciously tightened her legs around her horse. On the doorstep of the cottage, a shattered set of bow and arrows was caked with blackened dry blood.

It looks like my house, Sasha thought suddenly, remembering her own village in the woods.

All at once, the forest fell away to terraced fields, long since overtaken by weeds, farms cut into the side of a mountain. A thin gravel path lead out of the forest and into the skeleton of a town, roofs caved in and walls smashed to rubble. Her breath caught in her throat, and the whole party slowed, looking in awe at the destruction.

"I don't know what I was expecting…" she heard Eren mutter.

She turned to look around, adjusting the blonde wig. Everything was destroyed. There was simply nothing there.

"Split up and look for anything suspicious!" Hanji ordered. "I'll fire a smoke round when it's time to head out. You know what to do if you see a titan." With that, she flicked her reins and her horse galloped off into the village. After a moment, the rest of the squads slowly scattered.

Sasha looked back at Levi. Only his team remained in the empty town center. "What are we doing now?" She asked.

Levi looked up at the remains of the buildings. They were nearly leveled, leaving nowhere for 3D maneuver gear to work properly. Too far from the forest, they may as well have been standing in a prairie. "We're going to stay here and hope Hanji has to piss soon so that we can leave."

A moment passed in silence. The horses stamped their hooves anxiously on the ground. "They hear something," Sasha said, watching the animals flicking ears. She felt a fluttering in her gut. "Levi," she hissed urgently, "We shouldn't be exposed like this!"

"I know," he answered, "But we can't go back the forest without the other squads—we have to wait until we get what we came here for."

"Levi," she begged. "We have to leave."

Mikasa, positioned in the rear of the squad to defend their backs, sat up straighter on her horse. She suddenly turned around and looked into the trees. "We need to listen to her," the black-haired girl said. "Sasha isn't wrong about these things."

Now the other members of the squad were getting nervous. In the front corner, Historia was wringing the ends of her jacket in her hands. She said nothing, but her entire body was shivering. She was wearing a brown wig, but she was still so small. It wasn't hard to tell the difference.

In the forest, a tree groaned and crashed to the ground.

"HANJI!" Levi shouted, but it was too late. Already the it had bolted out of the woods, nothing more than a blur of flesh at the edge of the town. There was only one titan that could move that fast.

Soldiers from other squads rushed out of buildings and alleys, looking for somewhere to launch their 3D maneuver gear, but there was no time to think. The titan brushed aside the people in its way like ants, smashing their bodies to bloody pieces against the rubble. Its black eyes flashed.

"Go, Christa!" Someone shouted, using the small girl's old name as a code for Sasha. She was supposed to run. No, she realized, turning her horse and digging her heels into the sides of its belly, she was supposed to give chase. She was not supposed to get away. Levi had said that she was, but she knew now that there was truly no hope of escape. The dancing titan was so fast that running was pointless. Only after she believed that she had Historia would the rest of them be spared.

She pushed her horse faster anyway, feeling the prickling instinct of being chased running up her spine. The real Historia was a green speck in her vision, running off to the side. The titan took no notice of her, and for a second, Sasha resented her more than anything. She should be the one to die.

Why is my life worth so much less than yours?

Jean's horse was galloping beside her, its rider wild-eyed, watching her. On her other side, Eren and Levi stared at her as well. She looked at their faces, trying to memorize then, feeling a heavy sadness when she realized that it was a waste of time. She had wasted so much time. She knew so little about them, and they knew so little about her. The memory of her that they would keep alive would only be a fraction of the person she was. The thought made her heart clench and she doubled over the neck of her horse, stifling a scream.

"Christa!" Jean shouted, "Look at me! Keep riding!"

She shook her head. She could hear the titan's movements behind her, the impact of its feet on the ground. Her horse ran completely out of its own fear. She had dropped the reins. She couldn't remember when.

"Christa!" Eren shouted. She looked at him out of the corner of her eye. He had the chance to save her if he changed right now. He was thinking about it. She could tell. He was staring at his hand. Levi grabbed his wrist, shaking his head gravely.

She realized only then that Eren was crying

"Hey, don't do that," she said, reaching for him across the distance between their horses. The titan grew closer. Eren's hand wrapped around hers and she squeezed it. "You're stronger than me, Eren, and you're not even the one going away here. You shouldn't be crying."

He choked and hid his face. "You stupid fucking potato girl," he said.

She let go of his hand and he and Levi turned away, leaving her alone with Jean. That had not been the plan—Levi was supposed to stay with her and protect her from Ymir.

"I guess the plan changed," Sasha whispered.

Jean looked up at her and she could see that there were tears in his eyes too. "Damn," he said, wiping them away.

"'Be seeing you, I guess," She said, trying to smile, not sure whether she wanted him to leave her and live or stay with her and die. She closed her eyes and inhaled slowly. "You need to go now. I'm sorry, Jean."

As he opened his mouth to speak, a monstrous hand suddenly closed around her waist and the horses sent up a shrill whinny. Sasha screamed, terror crashing down on her in waves. On the ground Jean yelled, but at least, she noticed, he still did not say her name. A small relief. At least she wouldn't die in vain.

As she was carried away her arm flew out to him, a sudden, instinctual movement.

Then she was inside the titan