A/N: So this is my second Emily/Hotch story. I've wanted to write a story with them for a long time and after 200 aired I thought it was the perfect opportunity to write this. So I hope you all like it! It will definitely be a two-shot, and if I have any ideas it might even be longer.

I don't own criminal minds!

''Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.''

~ Lao Tzu

The day had been long and exhausting as the team raced against the clock to save another member of their team. Luckily, they were just in time to save JJ and Cruz. The situation turned out better than anyone ever expected it to be. But they also knew that the blonde had a long road of recovery ahead of her, and the team would do anything for her.

They had spent some time in the bar and after an hour of drinking and talking they all decided to go their separate ways for the night. Hotch had no idea where Emily was going to stay for the next five hours, so he insisted that he'd drive her to the airport since Jack was staying with Jessica. He also didn't mind to stay up and catch up with her. It seemed like forever since he last talked to her. He had sent her the occasional email but it wasn't more than that. He always wondered why. He believed they were friends, and seeing her again only made that question worse. Emily always occupied his mind, whether he was concerned or just happy to see her. It was always her and no one else. It all started after Haley's death when she let him know she was there for him, that he wasn't alone. Something changed in that year and it was never the same again, but he wrote it off as a fantasy. How could be ever date his subordinate? And why would she like him?

Those questions went unanswered and disappeared with her when she went to Paris, and then reappeared even stronger when she came back to their team. When she came back he thought of it as a second chance. But Emily didn't seem like herself so he backed off and let her be. It was then that Beth came into the picture and their relationship grew quickly, and as time passed by, his feelings for Emily faded with it, knowing she could never be his. He gave up on his feelings and felt that Emily could find someone way better for her. He let go of his expectations for more and learned to live with their friendship. It was all for the best.

Hotch closed the door behind him and took off his jacket. He threw it onto the closest chair and took Emily's jacket from her hands. ''Have a seat!'' he offered as he walked into the kitchen. He quickly grabbed two glasses and a bottle of scotch, knowing Emily liked to drink it as well.

He sat down on the edge of the couch, leaving enough distance between them so it wasn't inappropriate. He poured the scotch into the glasses and handed her one of them as he sat back. He took a sip and felt content as the liquid went down his throat. He watched as Emily did the same thing in a silence. ''I hope JJ is going to be alright. She went through a lot today.'' he said with concern. ''She's going to need all of us.''

Emily turned on the couch to face Hotch. His concern for JJ warmed her heart. It was one of reasons she loved him. He was caring to a fault, even though he didn't always show it. But when he did it was as sincere as it could be. ''Believe me when I tell you this,'' she began, her voice soft. ''JJ is going to struggle with a lot, and she's going to need time to recover. But this team will be enough for her to heal.'' she went on. ''You guys helped me through it, even though it wasn't on purpose. Knowing that you guys cared enough to watch out for me was enough.''

''Was it really?'' he asked as he put his glass down on the coffee table. ''I mean, you still left DC. You still left the team. Why did you?''

She also put her glass down on the table, prepared to give him the honest truth, but deep down she knew it wasn't the right time. It never would be. ''There were many reasons why I moved to London, Hotch.'' she replied and it was true. She didn't just leave because of her ordeal with Doyle. A part of her never felt at home since she returned and it was unsettling. But the biggest reasons was that she couldn't be near him anymore. Seeing him with Beth and knowing he was happy started to tear her apart, and leaving was her only way out.

''So explain them to me!'' he demanded. He didn't understand what was happening. Emily was holding back and he didn't like it at all. It caused a tension between them that quickly turned awkward. ''Why did you leave, Emily?''

Hearing her name slipping from his mouth sent the sparks throughout her body. It still felt the same as it did years ago. She still had the same feelings. And sitting next to him on that couch wasn't going to help her. What was she thinking? Going to his apartment and catching up? She couldn't do that to herself or to him, not with the feelings she was carrying around. ''I think I should leave.'' she whispered as she rose from the couch. She pulled her jacket from the chair and started to put it on when Hotch stepped in front of her. He put his hands on her shoulders to stop her from dressing.

''Talk to me, Emily!'' he begged, realizing his feelings might have been mutual all that time and he hadn't noticed it before. But he did now and he needed to know. He couldn't wonder what might have been for the rest of his life. ''Emily!''

She took a step back and turned around to face away from him. It was really happening. She was about to tell him how she felt. Every part of her was fighting it. Fighting for logic, but her heart was hurting so bad that it had to come out. She couldn't carry it with her any longer and he was asking for it nonetheless. So she turned around with tears in her brown eyes. ''I might have left DC, Hotch.'' she cried out as he was gazing into her eyes with complete shock. She had no idea what he was thinking or what he expected when he demanded the truth. ''But my heart never did. It stayed here.'' she went on. ''With you!''

He was blown away. Literally. It was the last thing he expected to hear from Emily, but another part of him knew. He had always known there was something more between them. But as he stood there across from her, staring at her stunning face, he just didn't know what to do. He was contemplating every option, and they all led to someone getting hurt. Either Beth, Emily, or even himself. He couldn't make a decision that soon. He was afraid to do it, but most of all he was scared of hurting her. He could never hurt her. So he stayed silent, and the look on her face made his fear reality. She looked like her heart got broken into a million tiny pieces.

Emily put on her jacket in disappointment and turned around. She opened the door and walked out on him. She expected him to say something, but he didn't. He stayed quiet and let her embarrass herself all for nothing. She continued down the hall and decided to take the stairs instead of the elevator.

Once she got outside she felt the rain dripping onto her body, reflecting her mood perfectly. She felt ashamed, but most of all, she felt stupid for telling him the truth when he didn't seem to have the guts to say something himself. She walked down to the side of the street and turned to the left. She was going to walk it off and then she'd just call a cab to bring her to the airport. She was going back to her lonely life in London and she'd go on as if nothing ever happened.

A few seconds after Emily was out his door, Hotch realized what a big mistake he just made. So he grabbed his keys and ran out of his apartment, slamming the door shut behind him. He nearly tripped over his own feet as he sped down the stairs. Once he got outside he didn't see her anywhere. So he ran onto the sidewalk, turning to his right and nothing. Then he turned to his left and he saw her walked further away from, out of his life a third time. He couldn't let her go. He wasn't willing to do that, no matter what his situation was. Losing Emily over and over again had broken his heart. So he ran after her like his life depended on it and his feet got a life of its own.

He slowed down when he got close to her and he stepped in front of her, blocking her path with his body. ''Emily, stop!'' he ordered but she tried to walk around him, so he stepped in front of her again. They did it at least three times until she took a step back and looked at him in anger.

''What do you want?'' she questioned angrily.

He put his hand in his hair out of desperation. He wanted Emily. That was clear, and he wanted to act on his feelings, but he couldn't stop thinking about Beth. ''I want you.'' he admitted, pouring all of his feelings into those three words. ''But what am I supposed to do?''

''I don't know, Aaron.'' she croaked out. ''It isn't my decision to make. It never has been. But you asked me to tell you the truth and I did. So it's your problem now. You know how I feel.'' she said and she finally walked past him. And when her eyes were from his sight, the tears slipped down her cheek. She couldn't make the choice for him, but knowing Hotch she knew he would do the right thing, which meant he was going to stay with Beth. And it meant that they would never have a real shot at life together.

Hotch's eyes followed Emily as she walked away, and he realized it was the end. She was walking away. She had given him a chance and he didn't use it. So he just stood there in the rain, watching her walk away again.

But then, as if by magic, she turned around and started to run towards him again as she called out his name. It was as if she heard his thoughts and he waited until she was standing in front of him again.

''I don't do this, Aaron. I never do this. I don't confess my feelings and I never put my heart on the line like this.'' she said as the rain continued to fall. ''But right now, I am doing it. I have to because I can't wonder what might have happened!'' she went on through her tears. ''I made a mistake when I left for London. I should've told you that I loved you a long time ago.'' she whispered as he started to close the distance. ''I love you, Aaron Hotchner. I have always loved you!''

He put his hands on her waist and leaned closer towards her. ''I love you too, Emily.'' he said, feeling all his worry disappear as he gazed into her eyes. This was it. The moment he had been waiting for since she came into his life. He cupped her cheek and gently brushed his lips against hers. He felt her respond deeply, and with each movement of their lips connecting, he felt his love for her grow and he realized kissing someone had never been that perfect. He never wanted to stop, so he pulled her closer to his body and slipped his arms around her back as the kiss deepened and turned more passionate than he ever believed was possible as the rain continued to fall.

''Love is like a friendship caught on fire. In the beginning a flame, very pretty, often hot and fierce, but still only light and flickering. As love grows older, our hearts mature and our love becomes as coals, deep-burning and unquenchable.''

~ Bruce Lee