Sacrifice Chapter 5, a lost girl fanfic

Thank-you so much for all of the favourites, the follows, and the reviews. The kind words mean so much to me and I thank everyone who had taken the time to leave their thoughts and I am so glad that people enjoyed the story. This is the final chapter of Sacrifice unless people really want to see the love scene that was hinted at at the end of the chapter.

P.S. The poem is Song of Myself by Walter Whitman. Blame a certain fandom and 15 second binary encoded teasers for this poems appearance in this fic.

Bo laughed again as she broke the kiss between them. She couldn't believe that this was real, that it was possible that this could ever be real.

But when she opened her eyes and allowed them to gaze into Lauren's own she knew that this was real.

" 'o?" She heard a weak voice slur out the syllable. She leaned down to peck Lauren on the forehead before she pulled back slightly.

"Lauren. You… you're…" She couldn't help the laughter that escaped, the smile that was perhaps permanently glued to her cheeks. It actually hurt she was smiling so wide.

She could see Lauren's eyes staring into her own, half-lidded and exhausted looking. She could still see some disbelief in them but at the same time she could see a small smile creeping onto Lauren's own lips.

"M'live 'o." She heard Lauren murmur, her voice barely above a breath. " 'on't kn'w 'ow, bu' 'm 're."

"You sound like you're drunk Lauren." She laughed as she pulled back slightly, shifting so that she was supporting some of her own weight. She felt a hand come up and tap her on the chest in what was probably supposed to be a slap, but really it was little more then a feather-light touch.

Shaking her head in fondness she caught the hand with one of her own as it was pulling away bringing it up to press a kiss to it's palm before she pressed it against her cheek. She could see Lauren smile as she leaned down again to press her forehead against Lauren's, pressing a brief kiss to her lips in the process.

She felt so happy.

So so happy.

Lauren was alive and in her arms.

She was safe and she was alive.

They had both made it out alive despite the fact that everything had said that one of them would walk away dead.

Lauren was here and in her arms.

She was breathing.

She was warm and soft, and where their bodies were pressed together she could feel warm radiating into her skin.

She was moving against her, the small rise and fall of her chest, the palm resting against her check.

The thump of her heartbeat against her chest.

She was alive and warm.

She was just…

" 'y 'ry?" She heard Lauren mumble her words still sounded so slurred and she sounded utterly exhausted but still she couldn't help the smile that broke out once again when she spoke.

"Happy tears Lauren!" She laughed. "These are happy tears."

"'ad?" She heard Lauren mumble as Bo felt her thumb move back and forth along her cheek.

"Not anymore Lauren. Not know that you're alive."

"'ou w're 'ad? 'ss 'e?" She could hear the disbelief in Lauren's tone loud and clear, even before she was able to register what Lauren had actually said.

You were sad? You missed me?

And with those words Bo could feel her heart break.

How could Lauren even think?

How was it possible for her to think that she wouldn't be missed? That she wasn't one of the most important people in her life? That she wasn't going to be missed if she sacrificed herself.

Lauren had pushed Kenzi out of the way…

"Oh Lauren… how could you even think that? How could you think that you wouldn't be missed? That you wouldn't be missed?"

"'zi 're 'p'nt. 'm 'ss 'u l'e 'e y' 't 'zi e'rt," She could feel her heart breaking at the tone, at the sheer amount of disbelief in the first part of the sentence, before it switched over to finality. The words were so slurred, it was hard to make out what Lauren was saying even if you listened carefully but after a moment she

Kenzi's more important. I'm less, you love me yes, but Kenzi's your heart.

"Oh Lauren. Of course you wouldn't know, of course you wouldn't know it's not like I ever acted like it but your right Kenzi's important to me, the most important person in my life. She's my heart Lauren. But you're my soul, my world" She could see Lauren's eyes close as she took another breath, she could hear a small groan escape from her.

It sounded like Lauren was in pain.

She wished that there was something she could do, that there was something she could do to take away her pain, but there wasn't anything she could do. She leaned down and pressed a light kiss to Lauren's lips.

"Are you in pain Lauren?" She mumbled as she began to push herself up and off of Lauren, most of her weight had been resting against Lauren and had still been when she had woken up. She could hear a small whimper escape as she moved herself up and off of Lauren, forcing herself to sit down on the ground next to Lauren.

"'arm." Well that was three letters, which was an improvement.

And what on Earth was Lauren trying to say? Lauren's inability to talk properly was starting to become a problem.

"Is that arm or warm? Seriously though you sound like your drunk or a toddler." She could feel the glare coming from the woman lying on the ground. She

"Ow! Hey!" She muttered as she glared down at the woman still lying on the ground. She could see the mischievous smirk on Lauren's lips before her eyes closed as she winced. " Lauren…"

"W'rm."

Okay so now it was either worm or warm.

Given that the first time Lauren had tried to speak it had come out as arm, warm was probably the better bet between the two.

"Okay I'm guessing that's warm and not worm?" She could see Lauren's eyes blinking open slightly a small smile on her face before her eyes screwed shut again. She could see that Lauren was in pain.

She glanced around at the room that surrounded them and bit her lip in order to try and fight back the urge to vomit at the sight in front of her, at the sea of bodies that lay sprawled around them. The little place where she and Lauren were sheltered was the only place not covered in blood and other body parts.

They needed to get out of here. Lauren probably needed rest and time to recover from what happened. She had come back from the dead, and she had now way of knowing what had happened to her while she had been in the portal, what damage it had done exactly.

Should she take Lauren to the hospital? Get her examined? When she looked down at Lauren she couldn't see any signs of injuries, but it was obvious that she was in pain. So maybe she was hurt?

Or maybe the portal had simply done a number on her and she was just exhausted, her body aching from… well being dead. If that was the case then she would probably be better off recovering in her own home, in her own bed.

"Lauren? I'm going to get us out of here but I need to know if you need to go to the hospital or not or if you want to go home?" She could feel a hand coming to rest against her knee lightly.

When she looked down at Lauren she could see a small smile flicker onto her lips, her eyes blinking open, but they remained half lidded.

"H'm. Pai' not 'ad. 'red." She heard Lauren mumble before her eyes closed again. She could see that Lauren seemed to be in pain, but at the same time she also seemed to be absolutely exhausted.

H'm.

Home?

"Home?" She asked as she leaned down to press a lightly kiss to Lauren's lips before she shifted herself backward. She could feel a hand come to rest against her cheek for a moment before it feel to Lauren's side again.

"'arm." Was the sleepy mumble that she got in reply.

"You're cold aren't you?" Bo murmured as she shifted onto her knees so that she could lift Lauren up. "I'm going to lift you Lauren okay? Take you home."

"H'm?" She could hear the weak and exhausted sounding voice almost happy.

Although there was one slight problem with her idea. Lauren had moved since the last time she had had to visit Lauren's condo and because they hadn't exactly been on a speaking basis before this happened.

Well…

"Lauren? I don't know where you live." The only response that she got was a sleepy eye blink open before they closed again. She could see Lauren shiver slightly before she blinked her eyes open again.

"'o h'm. 'ra 'ack. N' 'epr't. 'ld." Bo blinked her eyes confused as she tried to understand what on Earth Lauren had been trying to say. Her voice sounded so tired that it made the already hard to understand phrases nearly impossible.

The first one was easy enough. Bo home. But what the other two meant she could not guess

"'ou'r 'y h'm. 'ld."

You're my home. Cold.

Gently she shrugged her jacket off before she draped it over Lauren. Gently she moved her arms underneath Lauren's knees and under her upper back before she began to stand lifting her up as she went.

She could feel something tugging at her shirt as she lifted Lauren up. When she looked down she could see Lauren's first curled grabbing at her shirt. Silently she shifted Lauren so that her head was resting against her shoulder instead of hanging over the back of her arm.

Quickly she began to walk out of the building, stepping carefully to try and navigate through the sea of blood and the corpses that littered the floor, the metallic weapons scattered about. It looked like a battlefield that you would expect to see in a history textbook, not one in the modern day. Shaking her head she forced herself to focus on the doors on the far end of the hall, their way out of this godforsaken place.

As she glanced at the doors a thought hit her for the first time. How are Kenzi and Dyson?

Shit! She had completely forgotten about them. She had forgotten to make sure that they escaped, she had heard the sounds of pounding footsteps and had assumed that they had escaped but what if…

She shook her head and forced herself to continue to look straight ahead. She had to resist the urge to go back and look, to check and see if an of the bodies in that room were Dyson or Kenzi. She couldn't look back.

She had to get Lauren out of here and somewhere safe. She could feel herself shaking but she had to simply keep walking. They both needed to get out of this place and into the sunlight or whatever was awaiting them outside.

One foot in front of the other. Just put one foot in front of the other.

She could break down, she could panic she could do all of that later. But for now she needed to get out of this place and back to somewhere that could be considered "safe" and where Lauren could rest and where she could rest.

For a while she walked, occasionally stopping for a moment or two so that she could get a better grip on Lauren, who seemed to alternate between sleep and tired half incoherent mumblings. But through all of it Lauren's grip on her shirt never loosened.

Finally they reached the set of doors that would lead them to the outside world. Gently she shifted Lauren in her arms, trying desperately not to disturb the sleeping blonde, so that she could reach out and push the door. The feel of the cool metal against her hand almost made her want to cry in relief. Soon this nightmare would be over and they would be free from this place.

Slowly she pushed forward using the tips of her fingers to get the door to open. As soon as there was a gap she shoved her foot in between the door and the frame, trying to keep it open. Slowly she turned herself so that her shoulder went first, trying to shield Lauren from the doorframe so that she would take the blow in case the frame swung back in on her.

Maneuvering herself she finally managed to get the door open, allowing her to step out into the cool fall night. She smiled when she felt the cool breeze blow past her bringing with it the scents of the city and of the night. Shifting Lauren in her arms again she slowly stepped out from under the building's façade.

She tilted her head upward and smiled at the sight of the moon in the sky, the few stars that the city lights didn't block out shinning brightly. It was a beautiful night to be out, the clouds that had been in the sky earlier had gone, leaving them with the breathtaking view of the night sky that they so rarely saw this time of year.

"'eau'il." She heard a voice murmur. When she looked down she saw Lauren, bleary eyes but happy looking, smiling up at the moon.

Smiling slightly she leaned down and pressed a kiss to Lauren's forehead, mumbling against the skin there. "Not as much as you are."

She felt the hand that was gripping her shirt tighten slightly in response. Smiling against Lauren's forehead she pressed another kiss to the skin there and simply allowed herself to smile as she stared up at the white moon.

"I love you."

"The smoke of my own breath,
Echoes, ripples, buzz'd whispers, love-root, silk-thread,
crotch and vine,
My respiration and inspiration, the beating of my heart, the
passing of blood and air through my lungs,
The sniff of green leaves and dry leaves, and of the shore and
dark-color'd sea-rocks, and of hay in the barn,
The sound of the belch'd words of my voice loos'd to the
eddies of the wind,
A few light kisses, a few embraces, a reaching around of arms,
The play of shine and shade on the trees as the supple boughs
wag,
The delight alone or in the rush of the streets, or along the
fields and hill-sides,
The feeling of health, the full-noon trill, the song of me rising
from bed and meeting the sun.

Have you reckon'd a thousand acres much? have you reckon'd
the earth much?
Have you practis'd so long to learn to read?
Have you felt so proud to get at the meaning of poems?

Stop this day and night with me and you shall possess the
origin of all poems,
You shall possess the good of the earth and sun, (there are
millions of suns left,)
You shall no longer take things at second or third hand, nor
look through the eyes of the dead, nor feed on the
spectres in books,
You shall not look through my eyes either, nor take things
from me,
You shall listen to all sides and filter them from your self."

Bo spoke the poem aloud as she stroked Lauren's hair, her lover's head resting comfortably in her lap as she slept curled beneath the warm blankets of her bed. She smiled as she glanced down again her fingers halting for a moment as she simply allowed her fingers to rest against Lauren's scalp.

She could feel her back beginning to ache slightly from her position against the hard wooden headboard of her bed.

"Radio-nucleotides…" She heard a sleepy voice mumble before her fingers started to move again, gently stroking Lauren's scalp, trying to encourage her to sleep. She couldn't help the slight smile as she laughed silently at Lauren's sleep talking.

At least something's never changed.

And she still had no damn clue what Lauren was talking about. What had she said?

Radio-nucli what now?

Shaking her head and laughed again silently she turned her attention back to the book that she was holding in front of her, the warn and faded print on the slightly yellowed pages very familiar to her. She could see the watermarks where tears had fallen as she read the words that she was now speaking to Lauren.

This little book and this poem had been with her for a long time and seen her through more then she could count.

"Which one next Lauren? The next verse of the poem?" She mumbled as she continued to play with Lauren's hair. She heard another murmur before she heard a small mumble of contentment.

"We've been roommates and bestie's for how long?" She heard a voice call out. When she looked up she saw Kenzi standing in her doorway, dressed in pyjamas, one hand resting against the frame. It was a position that she would have expected from Dyson but then again…

"I didn't even know you liked poetry." She heard Kenzi say, amusement in her voice as she entered the room.

"I don't." She replied as she set the old battered and beaten book on her side table. "Just that one. Song of Myself… it helped get me through some rough times before I found you and Lauren…"

"You weren't one of those angsty teenagers who took refugee in poetry were you? Because if you were I think I'll need to find a new best friend." She nearly burst out laughing at Kenzi's words.

The idea that she had been an angsty teen obsessed with poetry was kind of ridiculous wasn't it?

Well maybe not so much after Kyle… but before…

"No. Not before…"

"Ahh. Say no more. We don't need to go digging up dead boyfriends, well the first one anyways. But BoBo? What caused you to bring out the teenage angst book?" She could almost feel those piercing blue eyes digging into her, compelling her to give up her secrets to her best friend.

Sighing Bo turned her gaze towards Kenzi, her eyes locking with Kenzi's own. "It's a way for me to share some of me with Lauren, Kenz, the me from the past." She smiled when she heard an angry grumble escape from the aforementioned blonde.

"Sorry Lauren." She murmured as she began to move her fingers through Lauren's hair again playing with it for a few moments. She could hear the sound of coughing a few times before she heard exaggerated gagging noises.

Grudgingly Bo shifted her gaze away from Lauren and back up towards Kenzi. She could see the look of amusement on her best-friend's face. In turn she rolled her eyes. "What?" She mumbled as she shifted her gaze back down towards Lauren when she felt the blonde move in her lap.

"I don't think that I've ever seen you like this Bo. Not this... I don't even know what. But seriously you two can be disgustingly cute when you want to be."

"I'm guessing now is one of those times?"

"Yep." Despite the smile that was on Kenzi's face she could still hear the sadness underneath the word. She could see the vacant look in Kenzi's eyes as her head turned towards the wall.

She could feel her heart clench in pain for her best friend when she realized the cause of the vacant look in her sister's eyes.

Hale.

Seeing her like this with Lauren after Kenzi watched her die. This must only be rubbing salt further into those invisible wounds that marred Kenzi's heart. The ones that she could try and soothe, but it would only be a temporary balm.

Time and space were the only things that would be able to heal Kenzi. She glanced down at the woman resting in her lap and smiled, she was grateful for the warm weight of Lauren's head in her lap.

It was a reminder of what she hadn't lost.

She could hear a light snore escape from Lauren before a few more words of sleep-talk escaped. For a few moments it was only her and Lauren in her bed, shielded from the world and all the pain and suffering in it by the gauzy curtains that surrounded the bed. But when she turned her head she knew that there was one more thing she needed in order for this small little hide away in her bed to be complete.

"Kenzi? Do you want to come and sit for a while?" Her voice sounded tentative, even other own ears. She knew that with the world ending catastrophe averted, at least temporarily, that Kenzi would be back to grieving soon. The momentary distraction of the apocalypse gone and with no one to celebrate it with she could only guess the grief would hit Kenzi soon.

"Kenz?" She called out again, trying to get the younger woman's attention, but all Kenzi seemed to do was continue to stare at the wall. She could only guess what seeing Lauren here, alive and breathing, was doing to Kenzi.

For a little while all there was in the room was silence, occasionally broken by Lauren's mumblings. All she could do was sigh silently and continue to play with Lauren's hair, gently she reached over to the nightstand for the book. Bringing it back she used her free hand to open the book and set it down beside her so she could turn the pages.

"So another verse?"

But before she could start reading aloud again a voice interrupted her. "Another thing I never knew about you. The fact that you own pyjamas."

For a moment she was stunned silent by the voice, the way Kenzi had spoken those words as if they were some great revelation. And then she burst out laughing when she realized what exactly Kenzi had said.

Pyjamas?

That was Kenzi's way of breaking the silence in the room?

Really?

"Don't feel bad Kenzi I didn't even know I still owned these." She made a face as she shifted slightly in the tight and itchy top. "I haven't worn these since... I think I was 20 or 21. I thought that I had gotten ride of these."

She could hear Kenzi snicker slightly as she felt the eyes moving up and down. "You seriously carried around pyjamas for ten years? Without knowing it?"

"And is Lauren dressed?" She could still hear the amusement in her voice. "Or is she..."

"When we broke up it was kind of sudden Kenz, we never exactly got to swap clothes back. So she still had some pyjamas here as well as a bunch of other things that I kept meaning to give her back but never really got the chance to do it." She could see Kenzi smirk slightly at her before her eyes saddened again.

She could hear a small sniffle escape from Kenzi and she winced a little internally. Of course Hale most likely still had clothes here and that was just another reminder of what Kenzi had lost. Gently she patted the bed beside her and smiled at Kenzi, it was a small gesture but at this point and after everything they had gone through they needed a little bit of closeness.

She could feel the bed dip slightly under Kenzi's weight as she sat down on the bed. She could see Kenzi's blue eyes look into Bo's for a few seconds before her gaze drifted down to Lauren. "She seems to be doing well… I mean I guess anything's an improvement over being dead isn't it?"

Smiling down at Lauren she ran a pair of knuckles over her cheek before she glanced back up at Kenzi and smiled. "Yeah, the last time she was awake she was a little better but right now she dozes a lot, sleeping on and off. Dying seems to be kind of hard on the body,"

"And you?" She asked as she turned to Kenzi. "How are you doing after all of this?"

All she could see was Kenzi shrug her eyes watering slightly as she glanced down at Lauren. "Right now... I need time I guess. I miss Hale so much and it still hurts. I was ready so that I could... I would be able to see him again."

Gently Bo reached out and grabbed Kenzi's hand, squeezing it to try and show support, rotary and tell Kenzi that she was here for her. She could see the tears that were in her eyes and a few that fell down her cheeks. She squeezed her hand again, allowing them to just sit in silence for a little while.

She could feel Kenzi trembling next to her in the bed, but all she did was allow her. Hand to remain in Kenzi's, holding it lightly and offering her whatever support she could. "I wonder why you get Lauren back when Hale had to die, and he had to remain dead."

There was no anger in Kenzi's voice, no sadness, in fact there was little emotion at all. "Why?" She heard Kenzi ask again. "Do you get the love of your life back when I had to give up mine?"

All Bo could do was shrug helplessly. She had no idea why Lauren had come back, there was no explanation for what had happened. All she knew was that one moment she had been crying, thanking Lauren for letting her love her, leaning down to press a final kiss to Lauren's lips, a goodbye.

But then she had responded, and she could feel through the hand that had been resting over Lauren's heart could suddenly feel a steady rhythm underneath her palm. And her voice.

She had no explanation for why. She hadn't been breathing Chi into Lauren, she hadn't done anything to try and bring her back.

"I don't know Kenzi." Was all she could whisper in the end. "I don't know."

There was nothing she could say, there was nothing to say.

So all she could do was sit here and allows her lover to use her as a pillow and to hold her best friend's hand as she cried.

So that's what she did and that's what she would do for as long as they needed her to be like this.

For now having them both close was enough, knowing that they were both safe and that she could helps to keep it that way was enough.

Because for her, her entire world had been righted when Lauren had been brought back, her little world that had crumbled, that she thought she would have to give up in order to save the larger and cruel world had been saved. All because of a god, or the universe, or whatever had happened, had happened. Her own little world was safe now and she had a or chance to make up for everything that she had done.

"I love you Kenzi." She finally spoke.

There was so much more that she wanted to say but she didn't know how to express is. She didn't know how to tell Kenzi that she meant the world to her and so much more.

"I'm glad though."

She could feel Lauren shifting against her, the weight of her head being lifted up.

"Bo?" She heard a weak voice called out from below her. She could feel her hand moving as Lauren lifted herself up but a few moments later she felt the weight return to her lap. "Ugh."

"Well that's both letters of my name this time. So that's an improvement. Still feeling weak?" She felt a hand smack her on the leg. "Hey!"

"Hi Lauren." Glancing over at Kenzi she could see her red rimmed eyes and a slightly vacant expression.

"'Enzi? Wha're you doing 'ere." Bo smiled slightly ass he leaned down to press a kiss to Lauren's forehead before she glanced up at Kenzi again. She could see a hint of amusement in Kenzi's eyes when she heard Lauren speak.

"You may be breathing Hotpants but it sure sounds like you're the walking dead." Bo started to laugh when she saw Lauren's hand sneak out from underneath to the covers and wake her on the arm.

"Hey!" She heard Kenzi shout as she began to rub her arm over the spot where Lauren had hit her. "I have very delicate skin you know."

"'S 'ny way to talk to the pers'n who save' you're 'ife?" She heard Lauren grumble as she felt Lauren shifting in her lap, shifting herself upward so that the top of her head was resting against Bo's stomach. Slowly she began to runner fingers through Lauren's hair again.

"Hmmm." She heard a content purr escape from Lauren before another small yawn escaped from her. "Stop trying to put me back to sleep Bo."

She smiled when she realized that Lauren had just spoken the entire sentence without slurring the words. "You just spoke without sounding like you're drunk Lauren!"

She heard Kenzi chuckle slightly before adding her own words of "encouragement" "Congratulations on your sobriety Lauren. I didn't realize that getting sent through a... Ow!"

"It's not funny Kenzi." Before things could escalate Bo leaned down and. Captured Lauren's lipid against her own in a fierce kiss. She could quickly feel any objections fade as Lauren began to return the kiss.

"And I'll be going now. Bo come find me when you and your girlfriend come up for air." She could vaguely here Kenzi call out just as she felt Lauren's fingers tangle in her hair and guide her head closer to her lips.

A few moments after she heard Kenzi's footsteps fade she pulled back and broke the kiss. She could see the annoyed look in Lauren's eyes when she pulled away and she chuckled slightly when she felt the fingers in her hair try to tug at her head to pull her back into the kiss.

"Hi." Bo murmured as smiled looking down into Lauren's eyes. She could see that they were beginning to close again only for Lauren to blink them open a few seconds later.

Reaching over for the book that was still lying there it the bed she pulled her head away and leaned back into the pillow that had been supporting her lower back before. "So do you want another verse or do you want me to start over again?"

"Could you reread that part that you read to me before?" Bo smiled as she turned the page back to the previous one.

""The smoke of my own breath,
Echoes, ripples, buzz'd whispers, love-root, silk-thread,
crotch and vine,
My respiration and inspiration, the beating of my heart, the
passing of blood and air through my lungs,
The sniff of green leaves and dry leaves, and of the shore and
dark-color'd sea-rocks, and of hay in the barn,
The sound of the belch'd words of my voice loos'd to the
eddies of the wind,
A few light kisses, a few embraces, a reaching around of arms,
The play of shine and shade on the trees as the supple boughs
wag,
The delight alone or in the rush of the streets, or along the
fields and hill-sides,
The feeling of health, the full-noon trill, the song of me rising
from bed and meeting the sun.

Have you reckon'd a thousand acres much? have you reckon'd
the earth much?
Have you practis'd so long to learn to read?
Have you felt so proud to get at the meaning of poems?

Looking down she smiled when she saw Lauren's eyes closed, her head curled up in her lap. She smiled as she moved her hand down to play with Lauren's hair before she moved turned the page before she started to read aloud again.

But just as she was about to start reading aloud again she felt Lauren shift against her again before she heard a voice whisper. "I love you."

Smiling Bo placed the book to the side on the bed before she leaned down and pressed a kiss to Lauren's forehead.

"I love you too." She mumbled as she shifted to press a kiss to Lauren's lips. She felt the hands move up to her shirt and under her shirt before she started to inch it up as she felt Lauren shifting in her lap.

"Are you sure?" Bo murmured against Lauren's lips as they broke the kiss to let Lauren pull Bo's shirt over her head.

"I've never been more sure of anything in my life." She heard Lauren breath before she pressed another kiss to Bo's lips. Wrapping her arms around Lauren's hips she allowed herself to lean back against the pillows before she pulled Lauren on top of her.

She could only smile internally at how right this felt.

"I love you." She said when she broke the kiss.

"I love you too Bo. So much." She heard Lauren murmur before they started to kiss once again.