Unrequited, a criminal minds fanfic

Hello everyone! This is basically my interpretation of Emily Prentiss and Mateo Cruz's interactions with Jennifer Jareau. Some liberties were taken with both Emily and Matt's feelings towards JJ. I don't think I stretched it too much, just skirted along the lines. As such, if you are deeply offended by the idea that both characters have feelings for JJ, please, please don't read this because I will not be held responsible for whatever negative emotions it may cause.

Words of caution:
This is my first attempt at a Criminal Minds fanfic so please consider that when you comment. With that being said, please forgive me for any inconsistencies with regard to characterization, timelines, and other details. I hope the mistakes I made, if any, are excusable.

This is rated PG-13 for homosexual themes. Spoilers for everything up to episode 200. Thoughts are in italics.

So here goes. Thank you!

A Criminal Minds Fanfiction:
"Unrequited"
by: s16thunderjet

"To burn with desire and keep quiet about it is the greatest punishment we can bring on ourselves."
- Federico García Lorca, Blood Wedding and Yerma

The skies were overcast, puffs of gray clouds obscuring the midday sun. For Emily Prentiss, it was as if the weather was commiserating with the overwhelming feeling of melancholy enveloping her. Tucking the foldable umbrella underneath one arm, she set off towards her favorite cafe, hoping that she would make it there before the heavens opened up.

The streets of London were filled with people walking about: from businessmen in a hurry and tourists excited about exploring the city to friends meeting up and locals running one errand or another. It was a cacophony of personalities that made for an entertaining five-minute walk to grab some lunch.

Turn if off, profiler. Emily rolled her eyes as she pegged the man crossing the street while barking into his phone as someone who could possibly be a sexual sadist.

As she walked up to the cafe, she studied the sky and figured that even with the day's forecast, she would be able to get through her meal without getting wet. Decision made, she picked the table closest to the door, sitting with her back against the glass wall, the position giving her a wide angle of the immediate vicinity.

You can turn off the profiler, but not the paranoid agent. She chuckled to herself as the waiter handed her a menu.

Browsing quickly, she decided on a personal margherita pizza with a side of Caesar and a pot of English Breakfast tea. Reappearing a few moments later, the waiter placed the tea in front of her as well as the day's newspaper with a reminder that the rest will be served in a few minutes.

She was well into a pretty good article from the lifestyle section when she sensed a pair of eyes boring into her. Showing no sign of noticing, she continued reading, part of her thinking that she should probably redecorate her living room while the other part was calculating how fast she could get away should the other person decide to engage her.

The brunette was about to lower the newspaper and surreptitiously glance at her surroundings when the waiter approached with the completion of her order. Looking up, she thanked the broad-shouldered man who smiled in acknowledgement. As he left, she was not surprised to see her observer now standing by the place the waiter had just vacated.

"This seat taken?" The Hispanic man asked, a hopeful smile adorning his ruggedly handsome features.

"Please." Emily replied, gesturing with the hand not holding her salad fork.

Efficient and attentive as ever, the waiter again stepped forward with a menu. The man politely refused and instead just asked for a cup of coffee. The waiter nodded and came back almost instantly with a separate pot of a fresh brew and a cup and saucer and some sugar.

After several minutes of comfortable silence and an offer to share the pizza, he finally began.

"I wanted to personally thank you for all your help."

"You didn't have to come all the way here. Especially since..."

"... you didn't do it for me. I know that. You did it for her. You dropped everything and hopped on a plane just for her." He stated, sounding almost wistful and envious.

"And I would do it again." She declared, her conviction unshakeable.

"Because she did the same for you?"

It took all of her willpower and then some to not blurt out the truth, the challenge in his voice and demeanor reverberating within her as she desperately tried to keep her feelings in check. Her split-second hesitation, however, gave him the confirmation he needed.

"I would do it for any of them."

"Right. You guys were... are... more than a team. You're a family... even after you've left." He acquiesced, his eyes telling her that they might have something else in common other than currently being on the outside looking in.

"Like you, I'm not privy to everything, but I'd like to think I'm still part of them. Bonds like those aren't meant to be broken."

"Neither are hearts."

Just like that, the proverbial light bulb was lit.

"You're in love with her." She uttered with utmost care, as if the outward declaration would destroy him completely.

A wry smile formed on his lips as he stared down into the coffee cup to avoid her penetrating gaze. Despite the lengthy silence, he did not deny it.

"Y'know I tried to tell her... when we were in the ambulance. She looked at me like she couldn't believe what I'd done for her. I told her I had her back, but that's not the only reason why I did what I did. I was going to tell her the truth, but I think she somehow knew what I was gonna say and that's why she stopped me."

He stared at her throughout his whole diatribe, his helpless brown eyes subconsciously looking for compassion and understanding, both of which Emily was more than willing to give.

"It would've been awkward... the two of you being co-workers and all." She offered before she could stop herself, reduced to hoping that he would not pick up on the slip up.

Refusing to seize the opening she had inadvertently given him, he picked up his cup and took a sip of the dark amber liquid, the porcelain mug hiding his knowing smirk. Placing it back down, he looked up at her relieved and grateful expression.

"I'm six years too late, anyway. And even if I could go back in time and have her fall in love with me, I don't think I could do it." He admitted with a sad smile.

"Because then she wouldn't have Henry." She supplied in agreement, having actually had the same musings.

"Yup. Henry means the world to her."

"And she means the world to you."

"That she does."

He leaned back in his seat and gazed upwards, somewhat surprised that the sun's rays have begun filtering through the gloom.

"I still wish I had told her. Not because I think there's a chance for something... I just want her to know that she's loved very, very much."

"Are you still going to?"

"No. I think she knows even without me telling her." He answered as he sat up to face her again.

"I agree. I think she knows that you wouldn't have done what you did if you didn't love her." She replied, her mind flooded with memories of her last case as a member of the FBI's Behavioral Analysis Unit.

"Love makes people do crazy things." He stated with a rueful smile.

"Yeah. Like give up security codes that could affect national security." She teased.

"Or try to diffuse a bomb that would have blown up the competition."

The ensuing silence was deafening, but not uncomfortable. In fact, it felt as though the pair had finally, truly spoken and connected with each other. And like he had not earlier, she did not deny it either.

"I couldn't let him die knowing what his death could do to her."

"She still had Henry. She's so brave and strong she would've pieced herself back together. She would've moved on, would have found love again." He prodded, playing devil's advocate.

"That may be true and God forgive me, that thought crossed my mind... but I couldn't take that chance. I had to try and save him if only to save her."

Her admission gave both of them pause. A mutual understanding passed between them; that he would have thought and done the same thing she had in the same way that she would have thought and done the same thing he had. Taking pity on the now clearly suffering woman, he decided to change directions.

"You could've died, too, y'know."

"I know. Sometimes I think that would've been more merciful." She ended with a whisper.

"Is that why you left? 'Cause the pain of being around her but not being able to be with her was too unbearable?"

"I'd like to think that I left because I wanted to do something different with my career, but I'd just be lying to myself."

"Yet you still attended their wedding."

"I had to. I had to force myself to witness it in the hopes that once I've accepted it as fact then I could maybe move on and get a fresh start."

"So it's 'out of sight, out of mind' then?" He asked, part disbelieving and part contemplative.

"I think the person who said that has never been in love. It's been two years and it still hasn't happened." She snorted, earning her a chuckle.

"And you never once thought of telling her?"

"There were a couple of times when I thought she might have felt the same way, but I was too scared to tell her. Even after the case in New Orleans, I thought there might've still been a chance. And then in Miami... well, you could say it was my fault because I pushed her towards him."

"Why did you?" He asked, genuinely curious.

"Because I wanted her to be happy. Even if it meant her being with someone else." She confessed with a sigh of defeat.

"That entire time I was in hiding helped our relationship, I think, in that we ended up being even closer than when we were both still with the team." She paused as she remembered the conversations on the classified plane ride, the covert meetings and secret messages and endless games of online scrabble between them.

"I had actually decided to tell her when I came back from Paris, especially when I found out they were having some issues with her returning to the BAU and working long hours again, but I realized that she needed a friend more than she needed someone vying for her affections."

Her phone suddenly beeped during the interval, reminding her of a conference call with the other regional offices that she had to prepare for. Looking up, she smiled apologetically at him as she turned around to signal for the check.

"I got it. Keep the change." He said as he handed the waiter a few bills.

As they stood up to leave, Emily reached forward and offered her hand that he gladly took.

"We should do this again sometime."

"Yeah we should, but maybe in a bar next time. Better to drown our sorrows with alcohol." She snarked, causing him to laugh yet again.

"See you around Prentiss."

"You, too, Cruz."

They were about ten feet from each other when BAU Section Chief Mateo Cruz turned back.

"Hey Prentiss!"

"What?"

"I think she knows."

She thought back to the relief in the other woman's voice when she said her name down in that basement where they rescued her, to the trust that they had each other's back as they went up against Hastings together, to the last lingering grateful smile as they gathered at the bar.

Emily could not help but smile.

"Yeah... yeah I think she does."

The End

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All Criminal Minds characters copyright to Jeff Davis, ABC and CBS. They are used without permission. Please do not sue me, I don't have money.

Thank you!