Summary: Young Jason Todd tries to live with the consequences of what Joker had done to him after he wakes up to realize, he may never walk again...

"Wow," Joker grinned, white teeth shining in the darkness of the ware house, the only light from a swinging lamp over head, illuminating the bloodies crowbar in the madman`s hands. His blood.

"That looked like it really hurt." He tried to catch his breath, his ribs were broken, he could tell, then again alot of things were so why not those too? The way his breath wheezed in his throat, how it hurt to continue to pour air into his lungs like it was bleach. His eyes blinked open, black splotches dancing over his vision for a good moment as he heard the tap of Joker`s shoes approaching him again.

He gasped when the Crow-bar came down, again, and again and again. breaking and cracking everything else, as his body seemed jolt against the cold concrete ground with ever hit.

"Woop! Not wait a minute," Joker smiled tapping the weapon against his hands, "That looked like that hurt alot more."

He groaned, clenching his eyes shut as he pulled against his restraints on his hands, only making his bloodied wrist sting even more, "So lets clear this up, Okay pumpkin? What hurts more?" The crowbar came down again on his gut knocking the air from his lungs, "A or B?"

Then again against the face and the side, "Forehand, or backhand?"

Laughter filled the air and he clenched his hurting jaw shut, waiting, waiting for death.

Just as the crow-bar came back down he jolted up right in the bed, screaming out for the sharp pain that didnt come. His breath was hard and fast looking around the room, his room, the one at Wayne manor. He didnt know how he got here, what had happened.

Suddenly images of numbers ticked in his head sending pain shooting through his chest. he gasped a small cry coming from his lips as he did so, He slowly opened his eyes and looked around once more before he looked at his hands and arms, seeing the tiny scars here and there.

"Forehand, or backhand?"

He gasped another set of images running over his eyes, he pulled the covers over, his breath hitching as he did so, he was only in short so he could see the red and angry scars all over his legs, still trying to heal. he looked around his eyes stinging, "B..."

He grabbed his throat, his voice stinging as he tried to make words. his throat felt like sand paper to him, he ran a hand threw his hair, a small bit of panic blazing through him.

He looked to the desk and saw a shirt there, neatly folded, he tried to get out of bed and go for it but all he got was a face full of carpet, he gasped and used his arms to push himself onto his back as he sat on the floor, one leg over the other from when he tried to turn over, he took a shuttering breath looking at his legs for a moment, willing them to move, "C-come on." he muttered, shacking his head in denial.

"Jason! Please wake up!"

An image of Bruce shot through his mind, and red, so much blood, so much fire, why were things burning? And Bruce, his mask was off and there was a desperation in his face he`d never seen before, and sadness.

He felt his head loll to the side to see someone else and he cried out, her, his mother. This was the woman he`d been looking for just before the Joker...

He realized that his first mother was only his step-mother, and he real mother was out there, maybe alive. When he found her working with Joker he told her, offered her a way out but, she turned on him, gave him to that madman. And in the end...he still couldn't save her. He looked back to Bruce`s face, the man pushing the hair from his eyes, "Just hang on Jason, hang on."

He returned to the room, angry tears running down his face as he grabbed his knees and pulled them to his chest in an effort to feel safe, to feel a little more whole. Despair washed over him and he buried his face in his knees shielding himself, and holding himself as tightly wound as he could. It hurt, his mussels they aches with a vengeance that kept him from reliving the past once more, something he was finally great full for.

He shook against his sobs, shacking violently, he knew he was having some type of panic attack but couldnt stop, nor cry for help or relief. The only thing his mind kept trying to prosses was...why was he still alive?

"Jason?"

His head snapped up and he saw Alfred standing at the door way his eyes wide, "My boy, Jason are you-,"

"STAY AWAY FROM ME!" He yelled in defense, still shacking as Alfred tried to take a few steps towards him, "PLEASE!" he cried shaking even more, he knew who this was, who Alfred was but he just could let the man near, no one was touching him, not ever again, never.

"Lad, you are safe," Alfred stated holding his hands up in an effort to calm him, it didnt really help much. "No one will hurt you, please, just get back into the bed. you could hurt yourself." Alfred reached into his pocket and he flinched back using his hands to push himself farther away from the butler until his back pressed against the nightstand, he yelped in pain as it did so feeling a hard sting on his back.

"Master Bruce," Alfred said holding a phone to his ear, Jason stared hopelessly at the man as someone spoke on the other end, "Yes, sir I realize you are in a meeting, but I`m am certain that what ever crisis the Justice League is facing can wait."

There was another pause and Alfred shook his head, "No, sir, dont you dare hang up that bloody phone, sir it`s young Jason, he`s wake."

Jason shook his head blinking back his angry tears, this wasnt happening, he looked down at his legs, limp and useless, he barley realized his fingers dinging into his skin so hard small drops of blood leaked from the cuts, a small jab of pain only being felt here and there. He barley realized he was muttering to himself over and over again, more tears spilling out over his cheeks.

"Jason, stop." Alfred said and Jason swallowed the lump in his throat seeing Alfred had taken his moments of delay to step closer and knell down encouragingly. "My boy you are going to be okay, Bruce will be here soon."

He shook his head, "N-o, no, he cant know, he cant know!" he buried his face in his hands, bloodied fingertips digging into his hair as more tears slipped down his face.

"Lad," Alfred said, his voice not any closer but not any further away, "Please talk to me."

"I-I cant-," He muttered incoherently, suddenly another flash ripped through his mind.

"What do we got?" A man, a doctor in the ER standing over him along with several other people, and Bruce, he had cuts and bruises all over him, why? the way they were placed it looked like he almost hurt himself, to what? Cover up evidence of who they were? He smelled bleach, and soot and something else something burning.

"White male, mid-teens, sever beating, broken bones, concusion and burns around the back of his torso and thighs." A woman stated as another doctor took a scalpel and cut his shirt, cursing, "Shit, who is this kid?"

"Jason, Jason Todd." Bruce said, the worry in his eyes the only thing not being faked, "We were traveling for summer vacation and- the Joker was there, he took Jason and another woman hostage."

"How long did it take to fly him in?" One doctor asked getting a needle ready, Bruce shook his own head clear, "Um, an hour i think maybe two?"

"Looks like the freak roughed you up to," The main doctor stated, "Go with Cindy she`ll patch you."

"No, I need to stay with my son!" Bruce snapped. The doctor shook his head, "No, he`s going into surgery right now, you need to stay back."

"No! Jason!" Bruce yelled as two other doctors held him back while his bed crashed through doors and into a small room, a light then shinning in his eyes brightly, he heard muffled talking, feeling some of his wound burn as they were cleaned and the blood was being washed away, the pain slowly was subsiding and his vision was getting darker.

"Dont worry kid, your going to be okay." the doctor reassured him. It was then his breath cut off and he remembered spluttering out his own blood, choking and coughing and trying to breath, he was going to drown in his own blood and the panic wasnt helping him pass out, to just black out from the burning in his throat.

"Internal bleeding gone critical, get me a breathing tube now, get this kid`s throat clear!"

That was the last thing before he jolted back to see Alfred, his breath quicker then before, "I died, oh god Alfred I died!"

Alfred swallowed and nodded, "But you are with us once more Jason you never fully left us, because you are right here and no one is ever going to hurt you again."

Jason shook his head quickly, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath after deep breath, he felt his detective training kicking in just a little over his panic striken mind and realized he was having a nice little panic attack. Alfred was right he needed to calm down, take deep breaths.

His eyes flung open when the door to his room hit the wall when someone opened it in a rush, his breath caught in his throat when he saw Bruce and the man`s wild eyes, his cowl was pulled back but in a hurry he`d never changed out of his suit. He rushed over to him and Jason surprised himself when he allowed Bruce to wrapped his arms around him pulling him into a tight and painful hug, but he hugged him back stiffly looking to Alfred for an explanation for something that would tell him something, tell him the answer to his question...

"God, Jason." Bruce muttered, "Thank god."

"Bruce," He said his voice weak from his earlier screams, "Why...Why did he leave me alive?"

Bruce pulled away for a moment blue eyes looking into blue eyes, Bruce blinked quickly, "He didnt keep you alive Jason, you know what Joker had planed for you, he never won Jason." Bruce reassured, new desperate tear began to leak down Jason`s face, "But I still lost." he stated sadly, Bruce shook his head, and hugged him again, pressing a kiss onto of his son`s head, "No Jason, no you didnt."

He broke down, sobs raking his body, "Why couldnt he just kill me!"

"Dont say that Jason, please don't say that." Bruce said pleadingly as he hugged him tighter, Jason cried out sadly, "I cant Bruce, I cant feel my legs, so why not, why am I still alive!?"

No reply came, Bruce only held him and Alfred sat on the edge of the bed staring at the floor sadly for the fifteen year old boy and the pain he`d suffered and had yet to endure. The battle had been won when Jason had opened his eyes that day, when he had survived on the operating table and the explosion that Joker put him through, but this battle now was still raging.

A/N: Hello! I`m new to Fan-Fiction...well the writing part really, I`d been reading for a while and a friend of mine got me started on writing, helping me out whit starting a small idea just to get a flow for now. Please Read and review and let me know how I`m doing in this first chapter, any advice will work, Always trying to better my writing.

Because I`m new and I really dont know how everything works, all review responses will be posted at the top of every chapter.

Hope you like, Keep Cool.