Author's Notes (4/13/14): This story was originally published 2/8/14 at approximately 7,500 words. I decided to enter this into Anime Detour's fanfiction contest for 2014, so I edited it significantly to fit their guidelines of under 7,000 words, and I made a few other changes based upon feedback to the original. I didn't win the contest, but I feel the edits were an improvement. I did add a few lines I cut for the contest back in, so consider this 7,073-word version the "director's cut" version of this story.

This story is written from Seto Kaiba's point of view, and alludes to child abuse, including sexual abuse, in his past and mentions his suicidal thoughts/tendencies (nothing graphic). It also features a yaoi/homosexual romantic pairing. (again, nothing graphic). I used dub names in this story. This story also features some strong language. If any of this offends you, consider yourself duly warned.

As always, I appreciate reviews and constructive feedback. Thanks for reading!

Seto Kaiba's unvoiced thoughts that occur at the time of the action in the story are written in italics.

What the fuck am I doing here?

It was a question that came up quite often for me at that time of my life. In this instance, it was while I was standing in line at Starbucks during the break in the middle of my evening macroeconomics class at Domino University. What the fuck am I doing here? This class is a waste of my time. My adoptive father already beat these concepts into me when I was thirteen years old. Too bad he wasn't accredited. I wonder if I could show my scars to the professor and get a grade?

My board of directors strongly suggested to me that no one would take me seriously as CEO of Kaiba Corporation without a college degree, especially now that I was indeed an adult; that people would assume that I was only there because I inherited my position. It's true, I did inherit my position, but it was not handed to me. I bought it with my own blood, sweat, and tears. I made a deal with the devil when I was ten years old, and, whether or not that was the right decision depends upon how you look at it. What would I have done otherwise? Grown up a ward of the state, a nothing loser who had nothing?

This is what went through my mind as I was waiting in line for my grande Americano. What the fuck am I doing here?

"Kaiba!" The voice was clear and friendly and joyful…and familiar. I ignored it.

"Hey, Kaiba!" He was really the last person I wanted to talk to. I hadn't even seen him for about a year and a half. He was in the past. I was about the future. He knew that.

Then, the voice stopped, and that was that. He must have given up. He must have decided that I wasn't really me, just someone who looked like me.

I ordered my coffee, which was already too much interaction with another human being for my taste. If I could stand the taste of the coffee out of the vending machines near the library, I would have bought that instead.

As I waited for my drink, I felt a tug at my elbow. Out of reflex, I turned around.

Yugi Mutou. Wild haired, short, and smiling as usual, he hadn't changed a bit. "Hello, Kaiba," he said cheerily. "I knew that was you! Didn't you hear me?"

I turned away to take my drink from the barista. I turned back, and he was still there. I guessed it wasn't just a bad dream after all. "Yugi," I said flatly.

"How are you, Kaiba? Are you a student here? What's your major?"

He had way too many questions for me for a twenty-minute break. I had already spent ten precious minutes waiting in line. Now, it really was time for me to head back to the classroom. I could drink this in there.

"Business," I replied curtly, and I turned to walk past him.

"Oh, of course. Makes sense. I'm studying archaeology. I guess that doesn't surprise anyone, either, huh?" He gave a little giggle. "I'm hoping to get back to Egypt."

Egypt. He had to remind me of that place. The place I last saw…the Pharaoh.

"Do you live on campus, Kaiba?"

I shook my head. I walked past him, out the door, down the hallway towards my classroom.

"Me either," said Yugi, keeping up with me as fast as his little legs could carry him. "I'm still living with Grandpa above the game shop. I suppose you still need to take care of Mokuba, huh? How is he?"

He'd trapped me into small talk by bringing up my brother. "He's fine," I said. "He's in middle school now."

"That's good. Any girlfriends?"

I stopped to look at him. "Him or me?" I asked.

"Well, either one. Both."

"Yes for him, no for me."

"No girlfriend for me, either." He grinned.

I was curious, despite myself. It had been a long time since I'd seen him. "What about that girl…Téa?"

"Off to New York to study dance. We broke up after graduation."

"Oh." They had been practically joined at the hip at one time.

"Don't worry, we're still friends." Yugi smiled. In his eyes was a tinge of sadness. "It just wasn't meant to be. You know how it is…you spend all this time wanting something, waiting for it, planning for it…and then it just doesn't happen the way you thought it would."

Something in Yugi's words struck me at my core.

It wasn't meant to be. It didn't happen the way I thought it would. And now I felt unmoored.

I was supposed to defeat him…the other him… at Battle City. It was to be the scene of my greatest triumph. It was to be my ultimate victory.

How many nights had I sat there in my study spinning that revolver in my hand, occasionally pressing the cold steel against my temple? How many nights had I heard the sick, deep, gravelly voice of that old man Gozaburo whispering, "Do it. Do it, you pussy, I dare you..."?

In the year and a half since the Pharaoh…left, I'd replaced my obsession with him with an obsession with my own purpose and mortality. Naturally, I'd found it all wanting.

"Kaiba, are you OK?" Yugi looked up at me, his head tilted in confusion.

"Yeah."

"You zoned out there for a minute."

"I've got to go."

"Don't leave yet." He took a notebook out of his bag, he wrote upon a blank page with a pen, he tore the page out, and he pressed it in my hand. "Kaiba, if you ever need to talk, please call me. It was nice to see you." He turned and slowly walked back the way we had come.

I opened the crumpled page. He'd written his name and phone number. Underneath that, he'd written the words, "I miss him, too."

It was as if he'd socked me in the chest. The jolt of emotion was the first I'd felt in months. "I miss him, too." The words echoed in my mind in my own voice.

Anger welled up inside me. How dare he—how dare he assume I missed him! How dare he even think that I missed that—that ghost, that ancient relic, that creature of the past! How dare he even intimate that! How dare he… I gritted my teeth in reflex.

How dare he resemble him so much! How dare he remind me of him! How dare he show up here! How dare he speak to me!

How dare he make me think of those days! They are in the past!

"Yugi!" I shouted, my voice loud and irate and echoing down the hallway, which was beginning to fill with students returning to class.

He stopped. He turned around. He looked at me. He smiled.

He smiled! Was he mocking me?

My heart was about to explode out of my chest. I wasn't even sure why I'd called to him. What did I want from Yugi Mutou? To yell at him? To scream? To shove him up against the wall and tell him to take back his stupid note and never, ever, grace my life with his presence again?

He walked back towards me. What had I done? Had I been able to control myself, he could have walked out of my life, never to be seen again, walked out of my life like a certain cocky pharaoh back into his stuffy tomb.

The Pharaoh told me at the end of Battle City that I must let go of my anger and hatred. I imagined his dark, deep laugh echoing from the bowels of Hell or wherever he was now, mocking me. "Kaiba…will you never learn?"

Yugi was close enough to me now to speak to me. "What is it, Kaiba?" he asked, still smiling, still looking up at me with those iridescent violet eyes. Their roundness bespoke innocence, but their glimmer bespoke wisdom far beyond his eighteen years on Earth.

I said nothing. I could say nothing. I tried to pick the Pharaoh out of the slightly softer, less defined features of Yugi's face.

"You're the one who called to me," he said softly, like an angel from heaven. "Did you have something you wanted to say?"

How does he get his hair to stand up like that? Why does he dye it in such an unnatural pattern? Why do I have such a compulsion, now that he is so close, to reach out, to touch it, to find out?

Where did he get those amethyst eyes that seem to be able to peer into my very heart and soul?

How does he go on without the Puzzle? Why can't I quit staring at that place on his chest where it used to reside? Does that dark laugh of the Pharaoh still echo through his brain like it does through mine?

"Yugi," I finally said, "I need to go back to class."

"I know," he said. He did not move an inch.

I took a deep breath. I closed my eyes. I blew it out. I opened my eyes. He was still there.

He looked more like the Pharaoh and less like the Pharaoh than I remembered from our dueling days. He was as tall as the aforementioned Spirit of the Millennium Puzzle now, and his body was as lean and muscular, but the differences in their faces were still quite apparent, his chin not as angular, his eyes still big and round, like a child's, yet…not. He was not a child at all.

His eyes searched mine quizzically, as if he were solving a puzzle within.

It felt strangely intimate. Not intimate as in sexual, intimate as in close. Not even my own brother could know me the way Yugi Mutou knew me.

"I miss him, too." He knew. Somehow, he had gotten past all my defenses. Somehow, he was able to defeat the dragons I had put up to protect me. He made them disappear like the dark magician he was.

What do we all know from children's stories? The dragon never wins.

A clear bell broke the spell. The break was over. Class was about to start.

"Yugi, I need to go."

"You mentioned that." His voice was quiet, but not meek. His lips had the slightest hint of a smile.

"Will...will you be here when my class ends? Will you meet me at Starbucks at nine o'clock?"

I couldn't believe the words that had just come out of my mouth.

"Yes."

I couldn't believe the word that had just come out of his.

I couldn't believe, as he walked down the hallway, his back to me and his book bag slung over his shoulder, how much he resembled and did not resemble the other Yugi. How much it did and did not remind me of that day in Egypt. How much it seemed that, this time, with this Yugi, this was not good-bye and the end, but, in fact, hello and the beginning.

I almost didn't meet him.

I seriously considered blowing him off, walking past the coffee shop, out the door, across campus, over to the bridge across the wide Domino River that separated the west and east sides of the campus, to my regular spot right in the middle. This is where I would always stop and watch the mighty river churn far beneath my feet and wonder. I'd wonder if I would regret my actions in the approximately 2.5 seconds it would take for me to leap from the railing before I'd ultimately hit the icy waters below.

I would do this every Tuesday and Thursday evening after class. I would walk halfway across the bridge. I would ponder my mortality for about ten minutes or so, and then I would walk back to the west side of campus, to the parking garage, to get in my car to drive back to Kaiba Mansion.

This had become my routine ever since that evening several months before when Mokuba had walked in on me playing with my revolver in my study. I could tell that scared the shit out of him. I didn't mean to hurt him. He made me promise to stop, and I did. I hadn't taken the gun out of its safe since that day. I always keep my promises to the best of my ability.

I always keep my promises, so I did go to Starbucks that evening after class.

I don't believe in fate and I don't believe in destiny. That is why I asked Yugi to meet me. That is why I went through with it. This had to be a conscious decision on both our parts, and not just the result of chance and circumstance.

If he was there or if he wasn't there, I would have my answer.

And, of course, he was there.

He sat at a small table on the edge of the café, head bent over a magazine. He was furiously scribbling in it with a pencil, his tongue sticking out of one side of his mouth in deep concentration.

There were two drinks on the table-one in front of him, and one in front of the empty chair in front of him.

"Kaiba!" He looked up and saw me standing there, paused a few steps inside the café. He waved me over and beckoned me to sit in the chair across from him.

"Grande Americano, right?"

"Uh, yeah," I said. "You didn't have to do that." I reached into my wallet to pay him back for the drink.

He shook his head. "My treat." He smiled.

"Are you sure?" After all, as a young college student, money for him was harder to come by. My circumstances were different.

"I insist," he replied, smile still on his face. "You can get me next time."

Next time? Will there be a "next time"? How much commitment have I signed myself up for?

I nodded and sat down. I took a sip of the drink. Hot and bitter, just the way I liked it.

"Thank you, Yugi," I said.

"No problem. It's not every day you run into an old friend."

Friend? He considers me a friend? Do I consider him a friend? He was my rival. My former rival. Or was that his other self?

What am I to Yugi Mutou now? What is he to me?

He took a sip out of his own drink. "I like the chai tea latte. Atem got me hooked on these. He loved them." Yugi had a far-off look in his eyes, a far-off look with a tinge of uncharacteristic melancholy.

"I miss him, too." I remembered his words from the note. They echoed in my mind.

I hate small talk. I hate situations like this one I found myself in, where I do not have a script or a plan, where I don't know what to say.

Yugi didn't seem bothered by the silence. He continued to look off in the distance, twirling his drink cup in his hands.

I looked at his magazine. It was a magazine of pencil puzzles. The page he had it open to featured a series of grids and was entitled "Paint by Numbers".

He noticed my interest. "Do you ever do these? You use logic to fill in the squares to create a picture. See?" He pointed to the demonstration puzzle at the top of the page, where you could see how to use the numbers around the grid as clues to fill in squares and make a small pixelated duck.

I shook my head. "I don't usually have time for puzzles."

"Whenever I have something that's bothering me, something that's really on my mind, I find myself working on a puzzle of some sort. I guess that's just the way I've always been."

I was curious. "Something has been bothering you?"

"Several things. But, mostly you, Kaiba."

How could I have been bothering him? I hadn't even seen him for a year and a half!

He continued to twiddle with his drink cup. "I saw you on the bridge last week. I didn't say anything…you seemed to want to be alone, and I get that. But you looked so melancholy, so sad. I…I've been worried about you."

I didn't know what to say. It never occurred to me that someone I knew would see me, would recognize me in the darkness, would wonder what I was doing there staring at the water, just as I had never imagined Mokuba would walk in on me in my study that day. I should have realized that possibility. I never do learn, it seems.

"Then, I saw you today. You—you look lost, Kaiba. I had to say something. I couldn't let it go." He looked down towards the table at the cup in his hands.

I felt anger well up within me once again. Who does he think he is? Since when have I been any of his business?

The answer came immediately to my mind, unbidden. Since I walked into his grandfather's game shop that day. Since I dueled his grandfather and destroyed the fourth Blue Eyes White Dragon card.

These were decisions I had made. They were not fate. They were not destiny. They were not foretold on some slab of stone that resides in the Domino Museum. I had made these decisions. They were my responsibility.

I had decided to challenge Gozaburo Kaiba to a chess game that day in the orphanage when I was ten years old. I challenged him and won. I won a new father and a new name, a new life and a new place in the world.

I lost, too. I lost my humanity, piece by piece, bit by bit. My soul became a puzzle broken apart, a puzzle that had lain half-finished for years.

Yugi was good at puzzles. Extremely good. Deathly good.

However, this would have to be my decision. My decision to open up to him. My decision to let him in to the places where I let no one go, not even my brother.

I finally spoke. "I often go to that bridge to think."

He looked at me. "What do you think about?" he asked quietly, probingly.

"Life. Death. Decisions. Regrets. The world and my place in it. The usual emo shit."

Yugi's face broke into a shy smile. "Everyone thinks about that stuff from time to time."

"What would you know about it?" I snapped.

"More than you might think." The smile disappeared. "It was hard to let him go, Kaiba. It was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do."

"Hn," I sniffed. I knew he was talking about the Ceremonial Duel. Yugi battled the Pharaoh, the spirit who was living in the Millennium Puzzle and sharing Yugi's body with him, in the ultimate game of Duel Monsters in order to send him back to the afterlife. "I doubt it was that difficult. If all it took was winning a card game to get the voices out of my head, I'd do it in a heartbeat."

Yugi cocked his head. "Who said I wanted the voice out of my head? I miss his voice. I miss his presence. I miss his soul." He sighed breathily. "I was once a small, lonely, weak, bullied child. Suddenly, I had a constant companion and a powerful protector. Who would want someone like that to ever leave?"

"Eventually you would," I said, thinking of my little brother, who was growing up so fast. "Eventually you would grow up. Eventually, you'd learn to fend for yourself. Eventually, you wouldn't need him anymore."

"I didn't need him anymore, not in the way I once did, but that doesn't mean I didn't wish that he could stay with me. I…I loved him, Kaiba."

My instinct was to snap back, "What are you, gay?", but that admonition hit a little too close to home. Since when had I turned into my adoptive father? I shivered at my own thoughts in disgust.

"Are you all right?" Yugi asked.

"Sorry. The voices in my head are not as friendly as yours, that's all."

This admission should have sent any sane person sprinting away, but all Yugi Mutou said was "Oh."

"I do still hear his voice sometimes, coming from my memories," said Yugi. "He suggested a chai tea latte this evening. I don't usually have caffeine in the evenings—it keeps me up all night. Now, here I am, I've had two of them. Good thing I don't have class until 10 tomorrow morning, huh?" He grinned and gave a light chuckle.

"You listened to him, even when it wasn't in your own best interest?"

"I wouldn't say that. I mean, I got the chance to talk to you tonight, didn't I? Everything happens for a reason."

"I wouldn't say that." I changed the subject. "It doesn't matter if I have coffee in the evening or not. I'm up all night, anyway. I get more done at night than I do during the day."

"Really? When do you sleep?"

"I don't. Well, I mean, I usually get a few hours each night. A catnap here and there. I've never been a deep sleeper." Gozaburo made sure of that. Operant conditioning's a bitch.

"I've always been a night person, too," said Yugi. "Atem was a morning person. Made for an interesting partnership."

Probably was pretty strange having some other guy sharing your body. "You should write a book. I'd fictionalize it, though. No one would ever believe what happened to you with the Millennium Puzzle was real."

Yugi laughed. His laugh was musical, almost like the Pharaoh's, but with a slightly lighter tone. "You know what's funny? Téa said a similar thing to me the other day on the phone. Maybe I'll do it someday. "

"Téa. What happened between you and her, anyway?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean you guys were obviously close. If anyone could stand that girl's constant harping about the power of friendship, it would be you. I figured you two would get married straight out of high school."

"I didn't know you thought about us that much, Kaiba."

"Hn. I think about a lot of things. It's not all electronics and business strategy."

Yugi smiled. I found that I liked his smiles when I caused them. I saw a sparkle light up his eyes. "Of course not. Still waters run deep."

He sipped his drink. He leaned back in his chair. "Me and Téa…we did date during our senior year once we got back from Egypt. She was my prom date, as a matter of fact. We were elected Prom King and Queen. She made me endure hours and hours of ballroom dance lessons! I can foxtrot, tango, and waltz with the best of them now, though!"

Of course the King of Games would be Prom King as well. It only made sense, in a weird, convoluted way.

Yugi continued. "As I said, we're still good friends. It's just that romance wasn't in the cards." He paused and stroked his chin, looking up towards the ceiling. Then he looked back towards me. "Kissing Téa was like kissing my sister. Not that I have a sister, but, still…it was tender, it was sweet, it was affectionate…but there was no spark there."

"So, she really did like the Pharaoh more…" I mused. I knew she had a crush on Yugi's other half, but I thought that it was only that, a crush. The Pharaoh certainly showed no signs of reciprocating her feelings.

"She loved Atem, but that wasn't the problem…not the entire problem." He sighed. He fidgeted with his fingers. He turned his head and looked towards the wall.

"What is it, Yugi?" He was acting rather strangely.

He looked at me again. He narrowed his eyes slightly. It was the most skeptical look I'd ever seen on Yugi Mutou's face. He looked like he was sizing me up. I'd seen him do that before as the Pharaoh, sure, but as Yugi?

It was kind of cute, the way he furrowed his brow like that. I gave a sly smile. He narrowed his eyes more and I smiled wider. It was fun to tease him like this. It obviously bothered him.

"Kaiba…" He sounded annoyed. "You're very distracting when you do that."

"When I do what?" I wiggled my eyebrows.

"When you flirt with me like that." He looked down towards the table with a shy smile. There was a slight blush on the tops of his cheeks.

Flirting? I was taken aback. I wasn't flirting, I was just teasing, playing, riling him up a bit. I wasn't flirting. Not with Yugi Mutou. No way.

I'd never flirted with anyone in my life. I wouldn't have even known how to do it on purpose.

He giggled at my shocked reaction. "Kaiba, I'm trying to tell you something important here. Then again, maybe it's something you already know." He looked straight into my eyes, his elbow propped on the table, resting his chin in his hand.

My God, his eyes, his beautiful violet eyes! I don't know if I was flirting with him…but he absolutely was flirting with me. I had a strange, fluttery feeling in the pit of my stomach.

Could it be that we had been struggling with the same secret?

I wasn't quite sure how to proceed here. After all, these suspicions I had about my own sexuality were something I had told no one. Absolutely no one. Not even Mokuba. Especially not Mokuba.

Well, that wasn't exactly true. Gozaburo knew. Good thing he was dead. He called me a fucking faggot all the time. Well, he should know, he was one, too. And just guess how I knew that one, huh?

At least I knew I wasn't a goddamn pedophile.

"So, you're…"

"Gay. Yes. Well, at least I think I am," said Yugi. "Let's just say, I can look at an attractive woman—Mai Valentine, for example—and know, academically, that she is…well-built and nice to look at…. but, you know, when Joey would swipe his dad's porn tapes and pass them around school, and the other guys were goo-goo-eyed over breasts and butts and legs and thighs, I was…well…more interested in the dudes, if you know what I mean." He looked away, and a slight blush came to his cheeks again.

"Oh." Now, I really didn't know what to say. My pulse was pounding in my eardrums.

"That's OK, right?" He looked worried, as if he thought I might…reject him or something.

I nodded.

He looked relieved. "So…you, too? Or do you just flirt like that with everyone?"

I took a deep breath and cradled my face in the palms of my hands, elbows resting on the table. "I…I don't even know," I stammered. "I've certainly never…not with anyone." He doesn't count. He never will count.

He gently touched my elbow where it rested on the table. "It's OK, Kaiba. I haven't, either."

I wasn't quite sure what to do at this point. I continued to sit with my face pressed in my hands. Perhaps the ground would open up and swallow me whole. That would be helpful.

"Are you all right?"

The universe never works quite the way I want it to.

"Kaiba, look at me."

What do I want out of life? Can my current situation really persist? Should it persist?

I finally raised my head and looked straight at him. He was my one true rival, my one true equal. I'd never let him scare me before. I wasn't about to start now.

Yugi and I just looked at each other for several minutes. Then he spoke. "You have beautiful eyes, Kaiba."

I do? They're just boring blue, not the preternatural violet that so mystifies me about you. I absorbed this compliment. I made a decision. "Call me Seto."

"What?" He looked a little bit stunned.

"If you're going to tell me things like that, then I think we should be on a first name basis. All right?"

"Uh, sure, Seto." He said my given name as if he were tasting it for the first time on his tongue.

"That's better. Now, you can give me all the compliments you want." I grinned. I grinned so much my cheeks ached from the unfamiliar exercise.

"Seto, you really are insufferable." He was smiling as he said it.

"OK, you did get the name right…but that didn't sound like a compliment. You'll need to work on that," I said as if I were coaching one of my employees.

He chuckled. I started to crave the sound of his laugh.

"So," I asked, "does the entire Nerd Herd know about your predilection for the dudes?"

Yugi rolled his eyes. "Nerd Herd? Really?" He sighed. "No, only Téa knows. I didn't feel there was any reason to tell the others until…well, there was something to tell."

I looked straight into his eyes again. There was something I needed to know. "So…is there something to tell?"

His eyes went wide. "What, you mean you and me?"

I nodded.

"Well…I don't know. To be honest with you…I'd never thought about it much before tonight. I've always been attracted to your eyes, though. You'd have to be dead not to think your eyes are sexy as hell, even when you're being your usual aloof, conceited self."

Well, he was being honest there. It kind of stung, but it was the truth. I was like that, and was like that a good deal of the time.

"On the other hand…I've never gotten a chance to talk to you like this, one on one. You're a little different this way. Maybe there could be something here. You know, Atem liked you. He liked you a lot. I respect his opinion."

"Atem. I forget that is his real name. I keep thinking of him as the Pharaoh."

"I guess that's understandable. We knew his name for, what, five minutes?" Yugi laughed. It was a little longer than that, but not much.

"Yeah. I guess that's why. So, he liked me, huh? He had a funny way of showing it."

"What, by kicking your ass at Duel Monsters all the time? It had to be done, Seto. Especially the first time. You really were unbearable."

I sighed. "I know." I really didn't feel good about anything I did at that time in my life. I picked on an old man and destroyed his most precious possession. I deserved my comeuppance. "I was drunk on my own power, Yugi. I was fifteen years old, Gozaburo was dead, and there was no one in the world to stop me. Your grandfather was one of the few who saw me for what I really was—an obnoxious brat who needed a good spanking." I sighed again. "You know, I was jealous of you. You didn't have parents either, but you had him, and it made all the difference."

"Seto…" His eyes were sad. I regretted what I had said; it was not meant as an appeal for pity.

"Don't feel sorry for me. I was old enough to know better. My background is no excuse for what I did."

"Do you really have no other living relatives besides Mokuba?"

"None that I acknowledge," I said. "My father's brother and his wife were our guardians, and they squandered our entire inheritance-life insurance and everything gone in less than two years. I saw the will later. Invested properly, it should have been more than enough to see Mokuba and me through our twenty-fifth birthdays in a middle-class lifestyle. My father's other relatives were entirely implicit in this larceny. Are they alive? Probably, but they are dead to me. I'm not even sure they know that I am Seto Kaiba." I laughed darkly at the thought. I've never been approached by any of them since my adoption. They've probably never figured it out, the stupid fools.

"What about your mother's family?" Yugi asked with concern.

"I know nothing about them. I met my maternal grandparents once when I was four on a trip to Disneyland. I know nothing about them but my mother's fairly common maiden name. I don't know if they lived in California or somewhere else, or if they are alive or dead. I could hire a private investigator...but… given the great luck I've had with every other relative so far…if Mokuba asked me to do it, I would." I sighed. "Otherwise, I really have no interest. They are probably dead. I have no reason to believe otherwise."

It felt strange to talk to Yugi about these things, things I never shared with anyone. I thought I would feel exposed and vulnerable, but, instead, I actually felt stronger…a bit of burden lifted from my soul. He didn't judge me for the way I felt—he didn't say anything about it at all. Instead, he just listened.

If I could tell him these things, perhaps…someday…I could tell him the other things, the true secrets walled up in my heart.

Yugi looked up towards the ceiling, thoughtful, his eyes dreamy, a bit reminiscent of his former "other self". It was as if the two personalities had merged a bit over the years.

"My parents are still alive, you know." He looked back at me. "My mother still lived above the game shop with us until the divorce finally came through, during my junior year of high school, back when we were in the thick of dueling and saving the world. I guess she felt I didn't need her so much anymore. Anyway, she's remarried now. I actually don't talk to her very often these days. My stepdad is kind of a dick. Sorry, but he is."

I'd never heard Yugi say such a bad word about anyone else before. It made me wonder just what this guy was like. If Yugi really doesn't like you, you are probably beyond redemption. That's how I see it.

"No need to be sorry," I said. I figured I could allow him the same privilege of non-judgment that he afforded me.

He nodded. "Now, my father…he lives out in Las Vegas now. He was always 'away on business.' The fact is that he was cheating on my mother for years. He has an entire other family out there. I have a ten-year-old brother I've never met."

"Holy shit! Is that true?"

"You think I'm making this up?"

"Well, no…I just always assumed the Mutou clan was pretty normal."

"You've met my grandfather. He's not exactly normal."

"Maybe a bit dotty…"

Yugi laughed. "Yeah. I guess that's what you'd call it. And then there's me…an eighteen-year-old gay virgin who spent his high school years with a split personality disorder and an unhealthy obsession with Duel Monsters and ancient Egypt." He smirked. "Are you sure you really want to get involved with me?"

"Ha! You don't scare me, Yugi Mutou. And, you don't give yourself enough credit. You're the freaking King of Games. You are scary smart with puzzles and a brilliant strategist at Duel Monsters. If you ever get over this obsession with ancient Egypt, I'd love to see you study computer science and game theory and work for KaibaCorp designing our latest and greatest offerings. I think we'd be unstoppable. That's what I think."

By the gobsmacked look on Yugi's face, I could tell that, for all he went on about his "best friends", none of them had ever told him anything like that before. I had a smug sense of satisfaction for that one.

"How would that even work if we were in a relationship? I couldn't work for you then, could I?"

I rolled my eyes. "Yugi, I have my thirteen-year-old brother as my vice president. I can handle a little nepotism. So someone else has to do your performance review. Details are for little people. I'm a big picture type of guy."

He furrowed his brow. "Let me tell you something. As a "little person"…well, not legally, as I am over 4'10", thank you very much….life is in the details. If no one pays attention to details, the puzzle is unsolvable. The whole thing falls apart."

I looked at him. I sighed. Did he really not get it? "That is why I need you. Honestly! All those friendship speeches from Téa and Atem and you haven't learned this!"

He looked at me, wonder in his eyes, pure wonder and delight, the expression he always showed when he discovered the solution to a puzzle. I believe the same expression was also in my own eyes. His world had been turned upside down and so had mine. Our lives would never be the same. He laughed, and so did I.

The barista came up to us to let us know that they were closing in five minutes. It was nearly eleven o'clock! We had been talking for two hours. I checked my cell phone. Sure enough, Mokuba had just sent a text message wondering where the hell I was.

God, I'd better reply before they start dragging the Domino River!

We put on our coats and got ready to go. Yugi touched me lightly on the arm. "So, will I see you next week?"

"Sure," I said. "I have class Tuesday and Thursday nights from five to nine with a break at seven. When should we meet?"

"I'll be here at seven on Tuesday." Then, with a shocked look on his face, he exclaimed, "I don't even have your phone number!"

I sent him a text. I had surreptitiously programmed his number into my phone during class. "You have it now."

He clutched his chest, where his phone must have been in vibrate mode in his jacket pocket. "Ah, be still my heart!"

My heart fluttered, too, for real. Too much caffeine? My head felt light, and my entire body had a slight tingle. Must be coming down with something.

We left the café just as the barista was closing the metal shutters. We walked out of the building and into the dark, cool air of a March evening.

Yugi said, "Well, I'd better hurry across the bridge. My bus will be here soon."

"It's pretty late," I said. "Why don't I give you a ride home tonight?"

"Are you sure? It's not going to be a bother?"

"Yugi, no, it's not a bother. Besides, if some pervert attacked you on the way home, I'd never forgive myself."

"Kaiba…" he growled. He seemed annoyed. It was understandable. After all, he was still a man, diminutive as he was. I would need to remember this.

"I thought we agreed that you would call me Seto now."

Yugi laughed. "You'll need to forgive me. It's been your name for, what, five minutes?"

He cracked me up. "It's been my name longer than Kaiba has."

"Of course." Even under the dim yellow streetlights, I could see him smile.

"Yugi, do you mind if I ask you something?"

"Not at all. What is it?"

"Are…are you really OK with this? With seeing where this goes? You're not just being nice, are you?"

He looked confused but did his best to reassure me. "No, I'm not just being nice. I will admit that I have a lot to think about. I probably won't sleep too much tonight. Also, I've had two chai lattes after seven." He chuckled. "That'll keep me up all night, anyway. Probably wasn't the world's best plan."

I looked at him, lit by the dim lights of campus, a radiant angel framed by the dark, gloomy brick buildings, the stark, bare trees and the slushy piles of melting snow, and I knew what I wanted to do. What I had to do.

"Yugi." I stopped walking.

"Seto?" He stopped in front of me.

I placed my hand underneath his chin, stroking his jawline, tilting his head upward. My heart was pounding out of my chest. I swallowed hard, shoving my nervousness back down deep within my gut. I looked at his eyes, a mix of trepidation and anticipation, his lips, full and waiting. I steeled my resolve.

"Yugi, may I kiss you?"

I needed to know, to let him know, that this was a voluntary decision on his part and mine. This was not fate. This was not destiny. This was not coercion. This was a consensual act.

A smile was on his lips, and his eyes sparkled with humor. "Yes, Seto. You may."

The covenant sealed, I closed my eyes, and I felt the warm touch of his lips against mine. My lips slightly parted, and I felt a flicker of his tongue, and it sent tremors of pleasure throughout my entire being. He tasted of cinnamon, tea, sweetness, and light just as I tasted of dark, bitter coffee and complex characteristics. I allowed him in and he allowed me, and it all mixed together like the maelstrom in my brain. I could not believe that this was happening, finally happening, happening with Yugi, that I wanted him and he wanted me and that my life had found purpose, meaning, and structure once again, with just a slight thread of chaos to keep things interesting.

This is what it meant—love, friendship, camaraderie, togetherness with another human being, and, although I still had a lot to learn, I had hope that I could learn it. Fuck you, Gozaburo. Fuck you sideways with a rusty chainsaw. If Hell exists, I know you're there and that the flames burn just a bit hotter for you this night, this wonderful, beautiful night.

We broke the kiss together, both breathless. Yugi took his delicate fingers and brushed my thick bangs out of my eyes.

"Yeah, I think there might be something there." He appeared to be swirling his tongue inside his mouth, savoring the taste.

"I hope that gives you something pleasant to think about tonight," I said. "I know it will for me."

I took his hand in mine, our fingers enlaced. We strolled the rest of the way across campus to the parking garage, and, from there, on to begin the rest of our lives.