All That Is Good

Disclaimer: I do not own Arrow, or any of its characters.

Felicity wasn't sure why she went to the foundry. Maybe to check her computer, maybe idle hands just wanted to make sure things were tidy, but if she was being honesty with herself, she wanted to see if she could find Oliver. To make sure he was okay, to make sure they were okay. But she never expected to walk in on Oliver and Sara in a heated embrace.

For a moment her heart stopped and her mind went blank, and then a thousand thoughts passed through her mind and finally settled on a single mantra I think it's better to not be with someone I could really care about. At one time that had been a comfort, a ray of hope, the reason she couldn't lose him, but now it was a slap in the face.

The thoughts seized, her need to ramble disappeared as her heart shattered. She'd only been standing there for seconds before she turned to leave, running right into the display holding Oliver's hood. She din't even notice the noise she had made as she fled, but Oliver did. He saw the blond hair whipping around her shoulders as she hurried away.

He lost the fever in his veins right away, but Sara luckily didn't notice, and soon the fever was gone from both their veins. For a moment she just clung to him, and then she kissed his cheek, before walking away. Neither one looking for more than the comfort they had just offered each other.

Except for Oliver, the comfort he was seeking had been ripped away as his heart was pulled in two different directions. One with the comfort from the past, the relief of knowing that Sara was still alive after all of the battles they had been through, of not having to explain the darkness because she already knew. Yet he had the same thing in the other directions if he allowed himself to realize it. He had the comfort of a future full of light and happiness, of never having to explain, because there was no need, she accepted his as he was, faults and all. A future with a woman who made him a better person, but it was a future he couldn't have, no matter how badly he wanted. He couldn't put her in that kind of danger.

He knew one thing, in meantime he had to make things right, had to show her that she hadn't lost him.

Because of the life I lead, I think it's better to not be with someone I could really care about. The words echoed in her mind as she violently paced back and fort in front of her TV. She was still wearing what she had worn to the foundry, jeans, a v-neck T-shirt, and a light jacket, her hair loose around her shoulders, instead of her customary ponytail.

She was holding a tub of ice-cream in one hand and a spoon in the other. She had grabbed the ice-cream in an attempt to comfort herself, but she had mostly forgotten about it as her pain had turned to anger.

At first she had cried, hurt beyond measure that Moira Queen's prediction had come true, not in the way she had suggested, but in the end she had lost him to Sara, to someone she knew he cared about. His words echoed through her mind again, and the slap of it nearly made her skin sting for real. It was obvious he could be with someone he cared about, just not her. Apparently he didn't care about her like that, and yet she knew that wasn't true. She knew that he cared about her, knew that he wouldn't allow himself to let her be that important to him, and that's when she started to get angry. Angry at herself, angry at Oliver, even angry at Sara, despite the fact that she liked her, and that's when she forgot about her ice-cream.

It had started to melt when someone knocked on the door. She knew who it was, but still she yelled out, "Who is it?"

"Felicity. It's Oliver. Please let me in."

"Go away," she yelled, sounding like she meant it, but knowing he wouldn't actually go, and honestly not wanting him to.

"Felicity, I know you were at the Foundry. I know you saw us. Let me explain."

Oliver was leaning against her door and was not expecting her to wrench it open, so when she did, he nearly fell flat on his face, only his training kept him on his feet. When he found her eyes he was surprised to find them glaring at him, full of anger. He had expected to find her hurting, sad, but he should have known better. This was Felicity after all. The rare moments that she was vulnerable never lasted very long.

He noticed that the hand she used to hold open the door was holding a tub of ice cream, comfort food he knew, and her other hand was pointing a spoon at him. "Explain?" She demanded. "What is there to explain?" She whirled away from him, resuming her pacing. "You already explained, at least I thought you had, but now I'd say you've made things very clear."

He walked inside, shutting the door behind him and then leaning against it, so he could watch her pacing. She never slowed as she rambled to herself, finally he heard her voice mimicking his, "Because of the life I lead, I think it's better to not be with someone I could really care about."

He couldn't believe that he was hearing the words that he had said to her all that time ago. That she had remembered them so completely. "That's still true."

She shot him a look, clearly her angry face to accompany her loud voice. "What a load of crap. Why you ask? Because it's obvious you can be with someone you really care about, someone you did really care about, and who is that person? That person is Sara, the person I walked in on you, oh god. I can't even think about it." She ate a spoonful of ice-cream, still pacing. "Hell, you probably love her."

"You're right. I do lover her." He regretted the pain he saw flash across her face, but he didn't regret the words. He needed Felicity to understand.

She stopped pacing to look at him, the pain and defeat clearly visible on her face, her emotions always open to him. "Then why are you here?"

He took a step towards her. "Felicity, Sara has been a part of my life for so long, and you're right I do love her. I love her in a way that part of you always loves an ex, because they were an important part of your life that you can't forget because they helped make you who you are." He took another step toward her. "But I don't want to be with her, but I do need her. I need her friendship. She understands my imperfections."

Felicity looked at him incredulously. "And I don't? Oliver, I have always accepted you, every part of you. Even when you came to me with lame excuses of spilt coffee when there was clearly bullet holes, I always accepted you. I never asked you to explain. I love who you are. I don't mean I love you, well I love you, like you're important to me." She threw her arms up in the air, ice cream splashing out. "Oh god, you know what I mean."

"You don't understand," he snapped, his temper finally flaring. "She understands the darkness. You." He took a deep breath. "Felicity, you are all that is good in my life. You are the light in the darkness."

Despite the compliment, despite the warm feeling his words caused to try and break through the rage, she was still too angry. Her voice deathly quiet she said, "You don't think I know darkness, Oliver? My father abandoned me. You, you abandoned me when you went back to that island. I feel the darkness every time you get shot at, and I have to wait to hear if my best friend is still alive or not. Everyone knows the darkness, Oliver. Everyone."

Oliver sucked in his breath at her words. He was amazed at how many times he forgot, forgot that he didn't do this alone, but still. His Felicity was still to good to know this darkness. "It's not the same."

She muffled a scream. "You are so god damn selfish, Oliver Queen. How dare you belittle what I've been through, or what anyone else has gone through. I may not have been on the island from hell, but I watch as you put yourself in danger every night and you just expect me to sit there and act like it doesn't affect me."

"Selfish," he asked angrily, the both of them too pigheaded to read between the lines. "Selfish. Felicity if I were to be with you it would put you in danger. To care about you like that makes you a target. I do this to us to keep you safe."

She stared him down. "And how's that going for you? Because, guess what Oliver, I'm already a target. I've been kidnapped, held at gunpoint, and shot at, amongst other things. I'm already in danger, but you know what Oliver it's danger I choose. I choose because I believe in you and I believe in what we are doing. So please don't you dare tell me you do this to protect me."

"But I do!" He exclaimed. "I do, Felicity. As much to protect you, as to protect me. I can't lose you either."

She put the ice-cream on the coffee table and then walked up to him, putting her hands on his arms. "You can't lose me. I'm not going anywhere. You might not have noticed, but I'm really stubborn."

He pushed a piece of hair behind her ear, momentarily cupping her cheek. "I don't want you to feel the pain of losing me."

Some might have said that was selfish, but coming from Oliver, Felicity knew it wasn't meant that way. He truly didn't want her to be in pain. She shook her head, moving her hand up to cradle his cheek. "But that's the thing Oliver. I'd already feel that pain if something happened to you. That's the pain I start to feel every time you come back injured, every time you get shot at."

She dropped her hands. "It seems to me that you have three choices. One, you can stay stuck in the past, repeating old mistakes. Two, you can stay in the darkness and deny yourself the right to be happy. Or three," she put a hand on each of his cheeks, cradling his face, "You can let yourself focus on all the good you have in your life, and let that good, that light, balance out the darkness. You can choose to be man enough to not take the cowards way out of telling yourself you can't love. Whether its with me or not, you deserve to love, you deserve that."

He wanted to be angry about the coward's crack, but he just couldn't. Here was a woman who cared deeply about him, who had seen him with another women, and despite that pain he had caused her just wanted him to be happy.

She wrapped her arms around his neck, and then whispered in his ear, "You can be happy Oliver. You don't have to forget your past, but you can be happy."

He hugged her back, finally finding the comfort he had been looking for earlier. She was sweet and warm in his arms, someone he wanted to protect, and suddenly that didn't feel like such a burden, now it felt like an honor. It was Felicity who pulled away first, but she didn't get far. Oliver ran his fingers down her hair, stopping her, and said, "Your hair is down. You wear it down so rarely."

Felicity felt emotionally raw, and his words were nearly her undoing. "I had a headache, so I left it down."

His concern was instant. "Are you feeling better?"

She smiled tiredly. "No actually. I think the rage made it worse."

As they stood there staring at one another, Felicity could see that he wanted to pick choice three, he wanted to pick her, and she was willing to wait, but she could do that tomorrow. Tonight she was tired of waiting. "I'm going to take some medicine and go to bed. I'll see you tomorrow, Oliver." She started to walk toward her bedroom, knowing that he would let himself out, but she stopped. "But don't expect me to bring you any coffee."

He smiled and she smiled back, but before she got to the doorway he asked, "And what if I pick you?"

The smile she gave him warmed him. A smile full of happiness, but more so, full of hope, yet even though her words were said lightly he knew they were also a reminder of the mess he had made of things. "Then tell me tomorrow. Tonight I'm still scrubbing the image of you and Sara from my mind." She gave him one last tired smile, before she disappeared.

Sara was amazing, she was strong, she was beautiful, and they had been through hell together, but she wasn't his light. Felicity was right, he had to choose. He walked to her front door and opened it, but turned to take one more look at her closed bedroom door. He was going to choose the light. She was worth it, and he deserved it. He was going to choose all that's good in his life, knowing that she would be there when he was ready. He would choose her.

Hi everyone! I really wanted to write this story, because ever since they revealed Felicity's feeling for Oliver officially, I feel like the writer's have made her a weaker version of herself, and I wanted the old fierce Felicity back. I wanted to show her loyalty to Oliver, but more importantly her loyalty to herself and have her stand up for herself and call Oliver out on his behavior. I'm continually amazed by how a character who's heart is so good, continues to make such idiotic choices.

If you liked this please check out my original work The Abbot Hall Sweepers or my blog erinrenn at wordpress. Thanks everyone for reading and hope you enjoyed!