What the Opera?
Summary: A huge spoof of "What's Opera Doc?" starring McFist and the ninja himself.
Lightning flashes over the darkened skies of Norrisville. Once more, it flashes. Somewhere not far from Norrisville High, a large, burly, horned shadow motions its arms, encouraging the storm in all its fury.
After another flash of lightning, the clouds began to part ways. The shadow continues to motion apart the great storm until the sky of blue emerges. With its hands, the shadow lowers the tension of these great natural forces until it has subsided, and the readers can see the person responsible for both the ferocious shadow and the storm.
The person, clad in gold armor and an oversized helmet with tiny horns on each side lifts the helmet, revealing his face. It is the (surprisingly amusing) mighty warrior, McFist. Beside him was a very annoyed Viceroy
"Sir, is that really necessary to create storms like that?" Viceroy asked McFist.
Holding his robotic finger to Viceroy's lips, McFist sings.
McFist: Be very quiet
I'm hunting ninjas
With a devious smile on his face, Mcfist lowers his helmet, grabs a spear lying nearby, and begins to creep around the school anxiously, leaving Viceroy behind. Quickly he creeps along the football field, turning to look behind himself, but once until he reaches the shed, he notices something. Tiptoeing across the parking lot, he looks down at oil footprints, and then sees Principal Slimovitz's destroyed car.
"Ninja tracks!"
McFist rushes forward, bounding over a rock and through the open field until he sees a bush by the school, having found his quarry for sure. He begins vigorously jabbing his spear to the bushes.
McFist: Kill the ninja
Kill the ninja
Kill the ninja!
A few yards across the school, finishing up destroying another McFist robot is the ninja. Shocked at McFist's declarations, he asked himself meekly, "Kill the ninja?"
Unaware of the ninja's real presence, McFist continues jabbin the bushes.
McFist: Yo ho to-o
Yo ho to-o
Yo ho to-o
Yo ho-
McFist is stopped in mid-air when he sees the ninja walking towards him. The frills on the bottom of his armor flop down one by one as his last shout is cut of early. The ninja takes the chance to speak, singing.
Ninja: Oh mighty McFist
Of great fighting stock
Might I enquire to ask,
Eh ... what the juice?
McFist leaps about, his helmet rotates 90 degrees, leaving one horn in front, and the other in back.
McFist: I'm going to kill the ninja!
Singing, the ninja responds.
Ninja: Oh mighty hunter
Twill be quite a task
How will you do it
Might I enquire to ask?
Raising his spear and pointing at his glowing helmet, McFist sings confidently.
McFist: I will do it with my spear and magic helmet!
"Your spear and magic helmet?" the ninja asked.
McFist: Spear and magic helmet!
"Magic helmet?" the ninja asked again.
McFist: Magic helmet!
"Magic helmet." the ninja repliees, pointing at McFist and scoffing at what would appear to be an unintended double entendre of classic proportions.
Bounding up a rocking stairway, Mcfist sings again.
McFist: Yes, magic helmet
And I'll give you a sample!
The ninja looks concerned, watching McFist. What the juice is he gonna do?
Upon reaching the top, McFist began waving his arms arund. As if by instant, the clouds appeared once more before with strong rain this time. It poured hard before lightning struck to a tree, close to where the ninja was standing. Lucky for the ninja, he didn't get hit, but it made him worries.
Sheepishly, the ninja waved, "Bye." before throwing a smoke bomb and disappear into thin air.
McFist, finally noticing the red smoke, looked shocked and spoke, "That was the ninja!"
The gazillionaire headed off, dashing to find the ninja. However, the ninja ahead was faster and managed to lose McFist in the forest, though he looks concerned.
If only I can disguise myself long enough to fool him.
McFist later came into the forest's clearing, but no sigh of the ninja. Just then, McFist stops right at his tracks, noticing something. At the top of the plateau, sitting atop a fat white horse, is her. She wore a beautiful Valkyrie dress, a red scarf wrapped around her neck and a winged helmet with her braided blonde locks sticking out. She bats her familiar sapphire eues directly towards McFist.
She's so beautiful. McFist thought as the horse takes the beautiful stranger to the dumbfounded gazillionaire.
McFist: Oh Marina
You're so lovely ...
With grace and dignity, the beautiful stranger, Marina, sings back.
Marina: Yes I know it
I can't help it.
McFist: Oh Marina
Be my love!
Marina's steed turns around and lowers its hind legs, allowing Marina to glide down its bback and meet McFist. She pirouettes gracefully towards him, as McFist lifts her and leans down, respectfully beholding Marina's beauty. Again, McFist lifts Marina, bouncing her gracefully, then releasing her as Marina dances around the fat horse, annoying it as she dances around its face before batting her sapphire eyes at McFist, who hops in complete awe of her beauty.
Marina then dances into a Grecian courtyard in the middle of a forest, hiding behind a flower-clad pedestral. McFist follows hopefully as Marina coyly dances around the structure, far out of McFist's reach. Marina finally sits on a pedestral, twiring slightly before heading up the steps to a small enclosure, where she sits down on a lounger, awaiting for McFist.
McFist follows, presenting himself grandly at the bottom of a stairs before singing, whilst slowly climbing up the steps.
McFist: Return my love
A longing burns deep inside me
Marina: Return my love
I want you always beside me
McFist: Love like ours must be ...
Marina: Made for you and for me ...
McFist rushed up the steps before taking Marina in his arms.
McFist and Marina: Return
Won't you return my love?
For my love is yours!
But as Marina leans back, her helmet falls out of her head and into the sairs, revealing the Norrisville ninja. Marina was in fact a he all along. When McFist sees the helmet fall, and then sees that he has been lusting over the ninja, his loving expression immediately shifts to anger. The ninja smiles with great nervousness, then jams McFist's helmet over his head, giving him time to quickly shed his Marina disguise and escape. His shadow lines the walls of the courtyard as he runs, as an angered McFist turns red with fury.
"I'LL KILL THE NINJA!" McFist yelled in anger as the storm began. "North winds blow, south winds blow!"
Wind came as more storms arrived. "Typhoons, hurricanes, earthquakes ... SMOOOOG!"
The ninja gasped at the massive storm as he runs into the school, enclosed by darkness just as the ninja enters inside.
"Strike lightning!" McFist cried in fury. "Strike the ninja!"
A great lightning stuck the poor school, hitting it dead center as it began to crumble into bits. McFist dances across the school parking lot hungrily, hoping to get a better look at his destruction.
McFist spots a round swath of sunlight, revealing a dead flower dripping its water onto a body laying on the floor mosaic whilst its lower half is trapped underneath the pile of broken stone. The ninja is dead.
Did he do it? Did he really ...?
McFist's cruel smile faded. His vengeance has been done, but he didn't feel happy. He felt extreme guilt and sadness.
McFist: What have I done?
I've killed the ninja.
Throwing his helmet aside, McFist runs towards the ninja's corpse. He looks sadly at the ninja's corpse before picking it up.
McFist: Poor little ninja
Poor little ninja ...
McFist began to cry. Tears began pouring out as he was crying, slowly leaving the destroyed school with the dead ninja. The sun has risen up, beginning a new day, but a sadder day. McFist had killed and feel guilt. All of his vengeance was nothing. When he would go back to his corporation, he would give the ninja a proper burial to be remembered by.
As the story is coming to an end, unknown to McFist, the ninja, very much alive, somewhat sat up weakly while looking at the readers.
"Well what do you expect in an opera? A happy ending?" The ninja broke the 4th wall as he returns being dead as the story finally ends.