Fox has not left the SAS yet.

I do not own the Alex Rider series nor any of the characters mentioned here (other then Mr Posh but you can have him, he seems annoying). I do this for fun and as a non profit activity.


Everyone has their own method to resist interrogation in Brecon Beacons. If they didn't they would be binned and they had worked too damn hard to get there! It was time for one unit to face RTI training again and this time, it was K unit.

At absurd o'clock in the morning (2am to be precise), the members of K unit were drugged and unceremoniously dragged from their beds, along the floor, through five metres of mud and swung into a van. It was going to hurt when they woke up.

When they did wake up, it was in a nasty cell with mould growing out of the cold stone walls and it smelled of blood, puke and damp. That, combined with their headaches from being tossed about while they were unconscious, made the members of K unit feel worse than necessary. Eagle was the first to find the irony that it was a Monday morning so of course they would feel crappy. This earned him a large bruise on his shoulder from a very disgruntled team mate. They were also nude apart from their boxers.

After four boring and sickly hours, two large men banged on the cell door which Fox had his head leaning on. It sent echoes through his skull.

"This one first." One man grunted before dragging Eagle out of the cell. Fox had scrambled (unceremoniously) to the other side of the cell when the door opened. K unit watched as their team mate went off to unknown terrors

Eagle was strapped to a chair by metal claps on the wrists and angles.

"Bit cliché." Eagle muttered. No one heard him. A third man came into the room and went to the left corner behind Eagle. When he came back placed what felt like stickers onto his bare chest. Eagle knew they were electricity conductors, this was going to hurt. The man who had put the tabs on his chest pulled a stool over and sat down placing a large battery on a metal rolling table next to him.

"If you hadn't guessed, we're going to electrocute you." The man stated. He had a posh accent so Eagle settled for calling him Mr Posh.

"That is," Mr Posh continued, "if you don't cooperate."

Eagle gave a large belly laugh. This guy was pathetic, going by the book.

It must be his first time Eagle guessed.

"What is your real name?" Posh questioned.

Eagle just kept grinning. Posh turned on the electricity to the lowest setting. It tickled.

"What is your real name?"

Eagle just kept grinning. Posh turned on the electricity to the next setting. It felt mildly uncomfortable.

"What is your real name?"

Eagle just kept grinning. Posh turned on the electricity to the next setting. It hurt a bit more.

"What is your real name?"

Eagle stopped grinning and Mr Posh thought he had already broken the soldier. Eagle opened his mouth. Mr Posh got ready for the praise his higher ups would give him for breaking a soldier so quickly. Eagle took a breath.

"I know a song that'll get on your nerves-" Eagle sang. "get on your nerves, get-"

Mr Posh turned the volts up higher.

"Get on your nerves. I know a song that'll-" Eagle kept singing.

"Just tell me your name and this will stop!" Posh shouted over Eagles before turning the dial two settings higher.

"Get on your nerves nerves and this is-" another few volts charged through his body "IS HOW IT GOES."

Posh wasn't giving up, he kept turning the voltages up and up. Eagle just started singing louder till he was full out screaming it.

"I KNOW A SONG THAT'LL – AH – GET ON YOUR NERVES, GET ON YOUR NERVES, GET ON YOUR NERVES – AHH – I KNOW A SONG THAT'LL GET ON YOUR – DARN – GET ON YOUR NERVES AND THIS IS HOW IT GOES!"

"JUST YOUR NAME!" Posh cried. Eagle just kept singing. Finally, Posh turned off the electricity. He wasn't allowed to go past a certain point because then it would get deadly. Eagle slumped forwards and Posh knew he wouldn't be getting anything out of him any time soon. He nodded for the others to take him back to his cell once he had taken off the conductor tabs. There were burn marks where they had been.

Eagle was thrown violently into the cell and the men grabbed Snake before he had a chance to react.

He was taken to the same room as Eagle and strapped up much the same with the electric tabs and everything.

"What is the name of your unit?" Mr Posh urged. Snake raised an eyebrow as if to ask if this man was serious. Did he expect him to just start spewing everything out? Mr Posh turned the electricity on. It gave Snake a fuzzy feeling. Still, he said nothing. Mr Posh decided to turn it up higher, get him to break faster, or so he hoped. It made Snake squirm slightly in his chair.

"Tell me the name of your unit!" Posh cried. Snake said nothing but opened his mouth as if he was thinking.

"You know what," Snake retorted, "I'd rather sing."

Mr Posh set the settings higher.

"Guess what I found guess what I found guess what I found yesterday." Snake sang. Mr Posh turned the voltages higher. Snake gritted his teeth and continued.

"Found a PEANUT, FOUND A PEANUT, found a PEANUT yesterday!" Snake cried with his voice raising at every electric shock.

"Just you unit name!" Posh almost begged.

"So I ATE IT, SO I ATE IT, SO I ATE IT YESTERDAY! THEN I - OW – DIED – AH – THEN I DIED then I died yesterday."

"Unit! Name!" Posh screamed.

"Then I DIED, THEN I DIED, THEN I DIED YESTERDAY! WENT TO HEAVEN, WENT TO HEAVEN, WENT TO – AHHH – HEAVEN YESTERDAY. WENT TO HEAVEN YESTERDAY! KICKED AN – AH – AN ANGLE KICKED AN ANGEL KICKED AN ANGLE YESTERDAY! KICKED AN ANGEL KICKED AN ANGEL YESTERDAY. WENT TO HELL – AHH."

Posh was maxed out on the voltages he was allowed to use so he turned it off. Snake kept singing.

"WENT TO HELL WENT TO HELL YESTERDAY! KICKED THE DEVIL KICKED THE DEVIL KICKED THE DEVIL YESTERDAY!"

Posh looked around the room for a tool to shut him up.

"RESERECTED, RESERECTED, RESERECTED YESTERDAY! GUESS WHAT I FOUND GUESS WHAT -"

Posh spotted a bowl of water and motioned for it to be wheeled to him. Snake was onto dying again before Posh stood up and shoved Snake's head into the water. He could see bubbles as Snake sang under water. He pulled Snake's head up again.

"KICKED AN ANGLE, KICKED AN" Snake gasped, "ANGEL KICKED-"

Posh dunked Snakes head again, this time he left him until there were no bubbles coming out. He'd rather not get what he wanted then hear that song again.

Snake was taken away as Posh went to refill the water for the next candidate. He was starting to get a headache. Moments later, Fox was dragged in. He didn't look to good, maybe he'd be easier to crack. WRONG!

"What is your name?" Posh asked.

"Alright, I'm going to answer that now, I don't feel like pain." Fox groaned. Posh thought it sounded too good to be true... and it was. "My name is Fox."

Posh turned red with anger and turned on the electricity. Fox was feeling weak so even that was a bit shocking for him.

"Wheels on the bus go-" Fox started. Mr Posh was already near the end of his line so he turned the voltage up causing Fox to sing louder.

"Round and round, round and round, round and round!" Fox sang Posh sent more voltages through him. He was only half way through the allowed voltage amount and already it looked like Fox was about to black out.

"WHEELS ON THE BUS GO – AHHHH – ROUND AND ROUND – OW – ROUND AND ROUND – AH – ROUND AND-" Then the singing stopped. It had been too much and Fox had blacked out. The strong men took Fox away after checking he was still alive and retrieved Wolf, the last member of this unit.

Wolf was strapped down like all the others and then had the electricity conducting tabs put on his chest. He had his permanent glare facing Mr Posh's face.

"TELL ME YOUR AGE!" Mr Posh shouted. He was really loosing it.

Wolf kept glaring so Posh turned on the volts. Wolf didn't move. Posh turned the voltages higher. Wolf could tell he had been unsuccessful with his teammates and so decided to deploy his own distraction method.

"Tell me-"

"I'm a little tea pot short and" Posh turned the voltage up, Wolf smirked ever so slightly. "stout. Here's my handle, here is my spout."

Posh was practically seething, but Wolf kept singing and glaring.

"When I get all steamed up, hear me shout. Just tip me over and pour me out." Wolf said. Posh was seething so much and glaring at Wolf he just forgot to turn the volts higher.

"I'm a clever teapot yes it's true. Here's an example of what I can do." Wolf was almost full out grinning at the angry interrogator. Unfortunately he remembered he could cause Wolf pain, so he did. He turned the voltages up and up and up.

"I CAN CHANGE MY HANDLE TO MY SPOUT!" Wolf shouted through gritted teeth, he would not cry out in pain if he could help it. "JUST TIP ME OVER AND POUR ME OUT!"

Posh ignored the danger sign and went over the allowed voltage amount, Wolf just kept going.

"I'M A LITTLE TEAPOT, SHORT AND STOUT! HERE IS MY HANDLEM HERE'S - MY SPOUT!" Wolf cried. Finally, Posh lost it. He smashed the electrical box on the floor in frustration effectively turning it off. Wolf breathed deeply in relief.

"FINE!" Posh screamed, "YOU WIN! YOU PASSED RTI NOW GET OUT OF MY SIGHT!"

Wolf was assisted back to his cell and then he and the others were – more carefully – lead to a transport vehicle and taken back to camp.

Wolf finally found the ability to speak again but his throat was sore.

"What did you guys sing then?"

Fin

What do you think? Was it any good? How many people's days have I ruined by getting these songs stuck in your head?