Lord of the Coffee: Tale of a Coffee Addict

~Disclaimer: I do not own The Lord of the Rings or Starbucks (though I wish I did)~

It was several years after the destruction of the ring and Frodo was outta work, no one exactly needed a hobbit to destroy some piece of jewelry in a volcano any more. So he resorted to babysitting. Boy was that the worst decision he'd ever made! The little brats rarely listened to him, they made huge messes, and they NEVER CALMED DOWN! One day he went to Starbucks and got some coffee to calm his nerves. When he took sips of it the kids screamed saying he'd disappeared. He also became really possessive of it. Gandalf and Boromir (just pretend he didn't die) visited him after he finished his babysitting job for the day. The Grey Wizard saw the coffee and freaked out.

"What is it Gandalf?"Frodo asked.

"This is the one coffee. Forged from the hand of Sauron. It started taking control in places in places like America, but now it has spread to Middle-Earth." Gandalf explained.

"Oh no!" Frodo groaned. "What must I do now?!"

"You must take it back to America and destroy it in the dark fortress from whence it came!" Gandalf said.

"One does not simply walk into Starbucks." Boromir said.