A/N: Alright ladies and gentlmen, good news and bad news. Good news first. I'm fresh out of ANOTHER surgery-hurts like hell, and my girl came back to me. Even better, My grandmother's all but recovered from congestive heart failure. Alas, my health is still in the red, and the docs say it ain't looking good. So...I just...wanted to let you all know about this. Somehow. Just in case death has plans to take me out of this sick body of mine...hopefull it won't!

Anywho, I managed to put this up here at points between the forced anesthetic. Bad news is I still have more surgeries ahead. It's been great, guys. Really. I'm hanging tough though, despite everything life is throwing at me. Despite all that's happening, I don't intend to die quietly in a bed somewhere! And on that note I thought I ought to try something new: we haven't seen a single good NarutoxMiranda fic on this site.

...lets remedy that, shall we? I present to you...

"Perfection is but a word...

~?

A Fly in the Ointment

Henry Lawson was on the verge of another scientific breakthrough. This wasn't his first of course; he'd done much work in the service of Cerberus, but in his mind this far outstripped the goals of the pro-human activist group whose continued activity was largely sustained by his generous donations. Narcissim aside however, this was more of a personal project. This would be his legacy. He would create the pefect human being, cloned from his very DNA. But in order to do that, he needed a viable test subject. A prototype, if you will.

The Illusive Man had recently provided him with just that.

This precursor to his legacy, the harbinger of the foundation he would build, would not come from his genetic code. Not at all. Flash cloned from a DNA sample so ancient it made the Protheans themselves look young in comparison, this single cell contained the might of an ancient people. Human people. It was said that the warriors of this era were gifted with superhuman abilities, that would make even the Asari green with envy, nigh but peerless in their affinity for destruction.

Shinobi, they were called. This sample had been very hard to come by, supposedly it had been sequested in a museum somewhere on the outer fringes of Council space. The Citadel Council. Bah! They cared nothing for humanity; for all mankind's advancements they were seen as the interlopers, the new kid on the playground. They'd given the turians a black eye during the First Contact War, and likely would've done much more than that were it not for the Counci's untimely invervention. The allied races feared humanity.

So the Council jealously guarded their coveted seats, stubbornly refusing to grant humans a place among them, their Spectre's, or even a place in citadel security, or C-sec, as the term was being coined. No, in Henry's eyes-and the eyes of the Illusive Man-it was left to mankind to advance their own interests. That was what Cerberus stood for. It was the sword of humanity and its shield, dedicated to preserving and protecting human interests. No more, no less.

Ah, but he digressed.

This would be his crowning achievement, the last of the Shinobi people, restored and reborn in his image. If all else should fail, well, subject would at the very least, become an accomplished killer in his service. He was already owed a few favors by Cerberus itself, but it never hurt to keep one's cards close to their chest. The subject's predeccessor had a name, Henry realized,and he had seen fit "allow" him to keep it. There would be no fly in the ointment, as the proverbial saying went. Everything else would procceed according to plan.

The boy's name would be...

(Sixteen years later...)

"Naruto!"

Sleep-gummed eyes cracked open at the sound of that familiar voice, sapphire orbs blearily taking in the world. The room seemed to swim, as though the entire complex was being tossed amidst stormy ocean currents and about to pitch under at any moment. The boy, all of sixteen years, solemnly swore to ignore she who was responsible for waking him from his dreamless sleep. Sadly, that was not to be. A flung pillow sailed across the room, and while he could under most circumstances, easily dodge such a projectile, he failed to account for the biotic field surrounding the flying weapon.

"Oof!"

End result, the feathery softness of the pillow smacked him right in the face, further incensing the blond and exacerbating the pounding headache in his skull. Doctor Henry Lawson-the man he refused to call father-had put him through another hellish regiment of testing only a few hours prior, and this was his only chance to rest. His body ached in places he didn't even know he had, and his recently installed amp was still shooting hot spikes of agony up and down his spine now that he was awake again. Thankfully there were no visions to haunt him this time, no images of a previous life to torrment his brain with their that made little no sense to him with their sights and their sounds and all manner of infuriating emotions.

No, there was just soooooomeone who liked pelting others with pillows, apparently!

"Miri," he groaned into the darkness, "Do you have any idea what time it is?"

"That doesn't matter." A soft, accented voice replied as he picked himself up off the floor. "This is important."

"It. Is. Two. In. The Morning." Naruto ground out as his blue eyes locked with her hazel, emphasizing the last word with a sharp click of his teeth. "How important can this be?!"

"Very."

Miranda Lawson was only sixteen years old but anyone could see she would grow up to be a fine woman someday, most certainly an even deadlier biotic. But this very moment, she was merely a young teenager taking her first strides into adolescence, inching forwards into a life that would someday day shape her into a cold severe ice queen nearly incapable of caring for anything other than the mission. That day was not today however, and Naruto found himself all too willing to bury he with her own pillow. Posthumously, of course.

"Miranda...

The raven-haired girl raised an eyebrow archly, but if he knew female expressions, she was not entirely unafraid. "Do you want to hear this, or not?" There it was again. That accent.

Something he thanked kami he hadn't picked up in the last sixteen years of his existence. He had been 'born' before Miranda, vat grown from and flash cloned from the DNA of some great warrior. That damned doctor wouldn't say who of course but Naruto had his suspicions. For starters he knew he hadn't been cloned from the man's genetic code-another blessing for which he was exceedingly grateful-unlike Miranda. Although she wasn't his sister by blood, he considered her the closest thing he had to family. Her and one other. And yet for all their gifts, they couldn't have been more dissimilair. It wasn't just his biotic prowess. It was something different. Something...

More.

For all his destructive potential, he had access to abilites and techniques most biotics would balk at. He could walk on walls and water, produce fire with a single breath, bend the very air currents to his will. Abilities he alone could wield, gifts that were kept under lock and key by Henry Lawson. This infernal collar on his neck saw to that; only the doctor's DNA could unlock it. But even if he had been freed from these shackles none of his gifts would've served him now, nor would his biotics, as he stared down at Miranda Lawson.

"For crying out loud...?"

His words trailed off when he saw the tears in those dark orbs. Her face was tight, almost a rictus of panic, her eyes wide. Something was wrong, he realized. Something was very wrong. He suddenly realized she had a sidearm, a phalanx pistol strapped to her still-slender waist. Where had she gotten it, he wondered? Had she stolenit from one of the guards? It looked so out of place amidst her pajama that he almost laughed. But the steely look in her eyes stopped him and he saw for the first time, the splotch of blood on her hand. Oh no. Gods, Miri...Suddenly the idea of her taking down a guard didn't seem so ludicrous. But why, oh why would she be armed...?

"I'm leaving." she stepped forward and waved her omni tool at him; his collar opened with a soft click and clattered to the floor. He swiftly kicked it away, sending the device skittering under the bed.

Ah. That was it. Strength came surging back to him, his weary limbs tingling with a sudden anxiety that all but pushed the weariness to the back of his mind. He was standing almost before he realized it, his body numb with the realization that something awful had happened. He clasped her by the shoulders, suddenly aware of her own trembling.

"What did you do?" he whispered.

"W-What I had to," she hiccuped once before forcing her voice back under control. "I overhead one of the guards talking. Father-Henry," she choked, her words breaking once more with emotion, "Finally made his decision . I'm not good enough, not anymore. They were going to kill me." Her hand strayed to the phalanx, as though she could somehow draw strength from the pistol's prescence. "So before they could, I...hurt them." The words seemed to twist at her, warping her visage into a pained, determined rictus. "And I'm taking Ori with me. I won't let him use he like he's used me. Us." she ammended the last with a slight flush, her cheeks burning ever so lightly at the end.

Naruto stubbornly swept those feelings under the rug, acknowledging but refusing to speak of them. Now was not the time for such things. Instead, he turned his attention to

"She's only ten months old. You can't be certain-

"I'm more than certain!" her voice rose, piquing in distress. "You know we're not the first! We're just the first ones he kept!"

"That doesn't change the fact that we're kidnapping a kid!" Realizing he was shouting, the blond drew inward on himself, contemplating. Miranda's rebellion had already begun, once they discovered she'd attacked one of the guards and unshackled him, her punishment was likely to be severe. And truth be told, Naruto was growing tired of his captivity. He wanted to see the world, explore the vast reaches of space. Discover where a young boy named Uzumaki Naruto had come from and find his place in the galaxy. He couldn't accomplish any of that here.

"If we're going to do this, we'll do it my way."

Miranda went from taking a full step back from his fury, to standing firm with her face white and still, fists clenched at her sides. She felt like he was trying to melt her alive with his gleaming silver-blue eyes. There was an apprehensive moment when he wasn't sure what she would do - she looked torn between attacking him, running, or crying. At last, she nodded tightly. "A-Alright."

"You got another weapon I can use?"

She shook her head. "Just a grenade."

"Shit." he spit, pocketing the proffered token. "Guess we'll have to do this the old fashioned way...

Miranda didn't know what to say to that. Her father had savagely berated her mistakes, both real and perceived; endlessly accusing her of sloth, idiocy, sloppiness - whatever he could seize upon. When she had done everything to perfect precision and nothing could be found wrong, he simply said nothing at all.

Naruto had only ever offered her encouragement; he understood the pressure to be perfect and he was not cowed by it. He didn't care what her father thought of him, he was too valuable to be disposed of at least until another sample was procurred; the first had been all but exhausted in creating him. He was the first, and he was the last of a proud people. But most of all...

A Fly in the Ointment.

"A fine effort, boy."

On his knees, with one hand on the ground of the hangar bay floors, Naruto spit out a mouthful of bloody saliva, shaking his head to clear it. His other arm was cradled protectively against his stomach, the broken and throbbing wrist pressed against what he suspected was a broken rib. At the top of his field of view were the black boots of Cerberus Assasin Kai Leng, who placed his hands behind his back and paced as he spoke to his broken prey. Rather, he thought his target disabled. Naruto silently swore to remind him of that mistake.

"Fucking...Cerberus...

"Cerberus?" The asian sniffed. "Oh no, this is personal, kid. Wish I could say it wasn't, but I owe Mr Lawson a few...favors. He asked me to track you and the brats down. Purely off the record, of course. Now, I'm going to give you one last chance to tell me where you hid the bitch and her little sister. Do that, and I might end you quickly." He could barely hear the man over the alarms, those sirens loudly declaring the trio's seemingly failed esape attempt. But it hadn't failed, not yet. So long as they got out before the guards arrived.

Still got a chance, champ. he remined himself. Just hang in there. Don't let him get to you.

Somehow, Naruto found the strength to spit on those pristine black boots. That earned him another kick in the teeth. Inside, he cringed, wincing as he felt something chip. If only Kai Leng knew how close he truly was; that first shuttle had been little more than a diversion, Miranda and Ori were safely tucked away only a few shuttles down the bay. He just had to get rid of this fucker first...

"I don't like that look in your eye." Kai Leng observed. "We'll have to do something about that."

THRUCK. The dark-haired man dashed forward and drove his fist deep into Naruto's gut, doubling him over.

BLAM! An uppercut caught the aspiring shinobi's jaw with full force, snapping his head back.

CRUNCH. Leng's thrust-kick smashed into the boy's face, crushing capillaries.

Naruto bunched inward, trying to blot out the girl's whimper. Just a little longer.

BA-KRANG!

Leng jerked as a hole opened in his right shoulder; the wound misting with bood. Miranda's shot was off the mark-she'd been aiming for his head instead. But the shot was more than enough, it spun Kai Leng around in a tizzy, momentarily presenting his back to Naruto. That was all it took.

"Burn, bitch."

Kai Leng never saw the grenade that killed him; he felt only the slight impact of something sticking to his back, heard the boy's words hiss in his ear. Then the explosion came, fire and the flames washing over his plain clothes and incinerating them in the next instant. He'd just enough to curse himself for not wearing his armor. By then, the sheer velocity of the blast flung him against the wall with enough force to snap his spine like a rotten twig. It was a fitting death, all things considered, one undeserving of a man who'd killed and maimed many.

Naruto was caught in the blast as well, the shockwave violently throwing him against the shuttle. He felt a pair of slim hands grasp at his arms and drag him inside. Somewheres out of sight, he could hear Oriana crying loud and fierce, doubtlessly distressed to the fires and explosions raging around the shuttle. Naruto half-dragged, half crawled his way onto the metal bench that served as a seat, realizing only dimly that Miranda had'd spirited her sister away into the cockpit. He himself was in no shape to follow, he could feel a broken rib pressing against his lung, eliciting sharp, pained breaths.

"Move, you ass! Move!" Miri was shouting at the shuttle, clamoring to get into the cockpit and get it off the ground. Naruto groaned and delved into that dark place of his mind, that secret sanctuary where no one could touch him. A switch flipped. The shuttled suddenly lurched upward, the faint blue sheen of biotics wreathing it from port to stern. And just in time. A smattering of gunfire ripped up against his impromptu-and looking a bit back, unintended-barrier, pinging harmlessly aside. But the effort required to lift and simultaneously shield the kodiak was draining; already he could feel the thin trickle of blood worming its way down his nose.

"Go go go!" he thumped on the barrier between the hold and the cockpit with his good hand, ignoring the blood seeping between his fingers.

The shuttle bucked wildly, as though it were trying to physically throw the three of them out. Somewhere outside, Henry's Lawson's voice roared over the loudspeakers:

"Children, set that shuttle down this instant!"

"Like hell!"

He felt, rather than heard Miranda gun the engines-the lack of dampners nearly squished him against the wall. The bay doors-left open by some stupid sod-hung there temptingly, the evening sky beckoning to them as they surged forward, freedom just out of reach. At the sight of Earth's starry skies Naruto let out a wild whoop, wincing as his lungs protested the action. They cleared the atmosphere almost immediately, hurtling forth from their prison and into space, the gilded cage that had held them all these longs years now long behind them.

"Hang tight," Miranda's voice, broken with relief, filtered through the speakers. "We're about to hit the relay."

"Any idea where we're going?"

"Honestly?"

"I'd prefer that." although he knew she couldn't see it, the blonde's deadpann was barely concealed.

"I have no idea." she admitted. "Near as I can tell, the coordinates are...just about anything." then, more wyrly, "How's the Citadel sound?"

"The heart of civilaztion, eh? Lovely."

She must've caught the hitch in his breath, because her voice came back sounding concerned.

"Naruto?"

"No, its nothing," He risked a glance down, suddenly aware of the shrapnel in his legs, the blood soaking through the pale fabric of his pants. "But...

"But?"

"I...might be bleeding out back here."

"Naruto!"

The blond allowed himself to slip then, his tenuous grip on reality slipping, then failing altogether. Well, he mused before he passed out, at least I killed Leng. Bastard. He could vaguely hear Miranda calling to him, her dulcet tones desperately struggling to call him back from the brink. He could see her face now as they hit the relay-the ship's autopilot ferrying them to their destination whilst she struggled to apply first aid. Even then, Naruto permitted himself the slightest of smiles, knowing that if he was to die, he'd at least put some good into the world, and taken something bad out of it. Kai Leng was dead.

His mark had ben made.

Perhaps one of the most accomplished killers the galaxy'd had never known was dead now, his role in future events utterly obliterated. Miranda Lawson escaped her father's clutches that day, her baby sister and a very battered blond in tow. And all because of...

...a fly in the ointment.

A/N: And there we go. I decided Mirana finally deserved her due; we all know she had such a horrible childhood, and to top it off, it gave me a GREAT chance to introduce Naruto as a defining and very real element in her life, rather than Niket. And Naruto took out Leng! Granted in his current state he wouldn't stand a chance in hell against him once he received those Reaper upgrades. Talk about your fly in the ointment! Naruto will survive of course, and The Mass Effect universe is about to undergo another radical change here, folks! But the questions remain...will it be for better or worst? You decide, dear readers!

So...in the immortal words Atlas...

...Review, Would You Kindly?

R&R! =D