Author's note follows in post-script.

Soundtrack choice: PLEASE VISIT LINK IN MY PROFILE FOR A SPECIAL TREAT. DO THIS BEFORE YOU READ.

DISCLAIMER/LEGAL MUMBO-JUMBO: I do not own The Last of Us, it is Naughty Dog's property.

CHAPTER 20

EPILOGUE

-FOUR MONTHS LATER-

She walked alone, head down, in a pale gray scene. The gentle droplets of spring morning rain tapped and trickled down her head and shoulders as she went, gathering at the ends of her auburn hair. It was a route she'd taken several times, meandering on an indirect path from her house to the swap shop. Shallow pools had gathered on the fractured pavement, patches of light grey reflections of the overcast sky.

The dreary morning meant that Jackson was late to wake up. Here and there, people had risen early to work on their yards and houses, or to go for a morning walk, but the majority of the town was still asleep. It was fine by her; most of the town remained wary at her presence, and she preferred the solitude over sideways glances and hushed comments about the strange, immune green-eyed girl walking by herself.

She rounded the corner and the swap shop came into view. It had once been Jackson's general store, but had been expanded and re-purposed into a place of trade where townsfolk could barter for goods that had been gathered on supply raids. She hadn't brought anything to trade, but the note that had been slipped under her door said she didn't need to. She was simply supposed to head there first thing in the morning.

She shouldered the door open and stepped inside. She shook the water from her sodden hair, then ran her fingers through it, squeezing out moisture as she went. There were no other patrons this early in the day, and out of habit she started perusing the aisles.

She looked over to the counter and saw the familiar figure standing there. She wore her hair down, and it hung to the middle of her back, long and dark brown with hints of red that only became visible in the right light. She was rummaging through some miscellany on the shelves with her back turned to the counter. Ellie cleared her throat to announce her presence.

The woman turned back and looked at her, giving a smile that somehow gave warmth to her cold green eyes. "Good morning, Ellie!"

"Morning."

"I see you got my note."

Ellie produced it from her back pocket and unfolded it. "Yeah, assumed it was from you, though you didn't bother to sign it." She made a show of loudly tapping the blank bottom of the page before studying the note again. "You have nice handwriting."

The woman shrugged. "What can I say, I'm a natural. I'm glad you're here. I've got something for you. It's in the back, though. Wait here."

"Okay," she replied as the woman disappeared through the door frame next to the counter. Her eyes wandered over the various sundries behind the counter while she waited. "Hey, where's D?"

"Huh?" the woman called from the other side of the door frame.

"D. Where is he? He's usually tinkering around with something in here. I thought you two were supposed to be inseparable."

A brief bout of raucous laughter came from somewhere in the back. "Oh man… you're a funny girl, you know that? Nah, he's at the dam working his magic with the other engineers."

"Oh."

The sound of something being knocked over came from the back, followed by the audible tumbling of a few other items scattering across the floor. "Shit! Ohhhh, yeah, that's good for it," the woman said to herself in a condescending tone.

"Everything alright back there?" Ellie called.

"Yeah, yeah, I just happen to be a goddamn klutz from time to time. Or always. Whatever."

"I hope you didn't break whatever it is you had for me!"

"Nah, just some other… random junk. Oh yeah, speaking of D. He went out on this week's supply raid. Came back yesterday. He brought back something that he thought you might be interested in. Took quite a bit of effort to hold onto it, I might add. It was in high demand."

"Oh yeah?"

"Mmm-hmm. Someone even offered him their prized sidearm for it, but he declined. I think he's taken a shine to you." She peered her head around the corner and gave Ellie a crooked smirk of suppressed amusement, the kind one makes while waiting for someone to get the punchline of a good joke.

Ellie rolled her eyes as the woman's head disappeared once more. No matter how sour Ellie's mood, the woman always managed to conjure some friendly banter from her. "Oh, har har… you must be rubbing off on him."

A loud, exaggerated sigh came from the back. "If only the world could be so lucky. Ah… here we are." More sounds of commotion preceded the woman's reappearance from the back. She was cradling a large, irregularly shaped case and set it on the counter before Ellie.

"No fucking way…" Ellie marveled. "He found one?"

"Open it. See for yourself."

Ellie ran her palms over the smooth, aged leather, feeling the bumpy texture rimmed by precise stitching. She moved her hands down to the gleaming clasps and undid them one by one. She placed her fingers on the edges of the lid let out a long exhale before lifting it.

Flawless, rich lacquered wood was the first thing that met her eyes, surrounded by maroon crushed velvet. The strings were, miraculously, still in nearly perfect condition. The dark wood of the fretboard shone with a dull luster. It was, all-in-all, immaculate. Ellie could barely contain the emotions within her as she studied it.

A pair of fingers appeared before her eyes, snapping in her face to break her trance. "Did you hear me?" the woman asked as Ellie looked up.

"No, what?"

"You've been doing that a lot lately, you know that? Drifting off here and there? It's like one moment you're here and the next you're somewhere else… somewhere far away. Anyway, I said the case is what kept the guitar in such perfect condition," she repeated, running her hands along the edge of the open lid in admiring fashion. "It was expensive in its time. Nearly air-tight seal with a dehumidifier built in. Fine brand of guitar, too, I might add…"

"Oh?" Ellie looked up, intrigued. "Do you play?"

"Did. But… it's been longer than I can remember since I've even seen one of these, so I'm not sure I could remember how. My daddy taught me when I was a little girl, probably not much younger than yourself, come to think of it. What are you… fifteen?"

Ellie looked back at the guitar. "I think I'm supposed to turn sixteen one of these days. Or weeks. Or maybe I already did. Who knows anymore?"

"I hear that."

"What do you want for it?" Ellie asked as she ran her fingers over the length of the strings, rewarding her ears with a faint ringing as she pulled her hand away.

"She's yours."

Ellie's eyes glazed over as she admired the instrument. "Seriously? Just like that? Are you sure there's nothing I can give you in return?"

The woman shook her head. "D insisted. If he found out I made you pay for it, he'd break me in half."

Ellie snickered at that. "Psh, yeah right. He'd never hurt a hair on your head. I've seen the way he looks at you…"

The woman's expression went gravely serious as she hunched down and looked intently into Ellie's eyes, searching them fastidiously. It was so direct that Ellie found herself getting uncomfortable and leaned back instinctively. The tension eased when the woman burst out in laughter again, causing Ellie to jump. "Ah, shit, kid. You should do stand-up or something."

"What the hell does that mean, 'stand-up'?"

"Oh, right… sometimes I forget with you post-Outbreakers. It's just another way of saying you're hilarious."

"Ah," she replied, feigning that she understood.

"People who were funny - or, at least, had the impression that they were funny - would go stand up before an audience and just tell jokes."

Ellie chortled. "What? No way! I'd totally fucking rule at that."

"You won't hear a lick of denial from me," the woman responded warmly.

Ellie closed the guitar case and re-clasped it, then propped her elbows on the case and her head on her hands. "Hey, did… did you ever have kids?"

"Me? No. No, I was only… gosh… well, probably around your age when the cordyceps hit. Maybe a year or two older, I forget. Too young to have kids, anyhow. Always wanted them, though." Ellie gave her a sly look, and the woman knew immediately what she was implying. "Oh, yeah right," she guffawed, "I'm sure that's the first thing on his mind. You do remember the part where we're not even certain that he is, indeed, human?"

"So you don't deny that you've thought about it-"

"Now, wait a hot minute!"

Ellie laughed wholeheartedly, the kind that originates in the pit of the stomach. It felt good to do so. There wasn't much in the world worth laughing about anymore. "I'm just fucking with you!"

The woman joined Ellie in her laughter, and the two shared the moment until it died down into silence once again. Ellie's eyes fell and studied her hands, and the woman took to tracing the wood grain of the counter with her fingertip. She perked up after a moment.

"Oh! One more thing... almost forgot!" She walked out from behind the counter and turned down one of the aisles. "The raiding party brought back a load of canned goods, too. I set a couple aside I thought you might like."

She reached behind some items on the shelf to where she had tucked a few cans, pulled them down and set them on the guitar case. One in particular stood out among the rest. The label read 'Smith's Cherry Pie Filling.' Against her efforts, the smile slowly faded.

The woman took notice. "Everything alright?"

Ellie stared at the can for a moment before responding. "Yeah... yeah everything's fine."

She wasn't convinced, but the woman decided it was probably imprudent to pry any further. "Okay."

"Y'know, I should probably get back. Thank you for these," she said as she put the cans in her backpack. "And for the guitar. I don't know how I'll ever repay you."

"Don't mention it… and D's the one you should be thanking, so next time you see him-"

"I will."

Ellie threw her backpack on, grabbed the handle of the guitar case and slid it off the counter, and made for the door. Upon reaching it, she hesitated and turned back. It took a moment for the words to properly arrange themselves before she spoke.

"Listen. About D. None of us really know how much time we have... until, you know, we're... until we're dead. The way the world is… a-and the way people are... I dunno, I guess I'm trying to say that... it's important to let the people you care about, or... love, or whatever... know... while you still have the chance." Suddenly, Ellie's attention was miles away, focused on the unseen.

The woman gave her a pensive look. "You should have just told him."

Ellie blinked as she snapped back to reality. "What?"

"I said you're right, and to tell Joel hello for me."

Ellie's brow furrowed, trying to determine whether her ears had just played a trick on her. She had drifted for a moment, after all.

"I will," she replied through a weak smile as she pushed open the door.

She stood on the porch of the swap shop, watching the rain cascade off of the awning for a moment. The weather was doing nothing to help her mood, but she didn't really care. She adjusted her grip on the guitar case before turning to head toward the graveyard.

She turned the handle and the door swung open. The house was quiet. The rain had finally tapered off, but outside it was still gloomy and gray. The living room seemed drained of any color in the drab light.

She shut the door behind her and laid the guitar case gently on the easy chair. She dropped her backpack next to it and threw her coat on the hook before taking a seat on the couch. She sat there, lost in her thoughts, staring at the guitar case for several minutes. Finally, she stood up and walked over to it.

She laid it on its side, undid the clasps, and lifted the lid. The guitar sat there, waiting, but she just stared at it in silent reverence. She reached out a hand and ran it over the smooth lacquer, over the strings, and over the crushed velvet padding. She crooked her fingers around the neck and lifted it from its case.

It wasn't a small instrument, and it felt humongous in her arms. She walked it over to the couch and sat down, laying it across her knee in a way that felt the most natural. She brought her right hand to the strings, placing them over the hole in the flawless wooden face. With her fingertips, she plucked at a string. The note rang out, filling the lifeless room with a vibrant, warm resonance. She couldn't help but smile.

She hit another string. It, too, rang out true, sustaining the note for several seconds before fading away. She hit two strings, but the notes clashed, each one trying to out-muscle the other. She grimaced briefly, then brought her left hand to the neck of the guitar. She studied the fretboard as she dragged her fingertips up and down its length, feeling the bump of each fret.

She hadn't the slightest inkling how to finger a proper chord, so she positioned them aimlessly. Eventually deciding on a position, she pressed the strings to the fretboard with her fingertips and strummed all six strings with her left hand. It wasn't a chord, and the sound was rather sour.

"Fuck," she muttered.

She readjusted her left hand and tried again, but the result was no better. She wrinkled her nose and tried again, going back to fingering and picking just two strings. A system of trial and error finally gave her two notes that seemed to work with each other, and she smiled. But adding a third string into the mix fouled everything up again. She exhaled in frustration.

"That's awful."

She kept her eyes focused on the fretboard. "You're awful." She heard him approach and tried to keep her gaze on the neck of the guitar, but against her best efforts it lifted to meet his. A slow smile spread across her face as he reached up to push the rebellious lock of hair behind her ear with his good hand.

"I ain't kiddin'. All that racket you were makin' woke me up from my peaceful and quiet sleep."

"Pshhh. It wouldn't be racket if you'd take the time to teach me," she said in feigned protest.

He looked down at the guitar, eyes sparkling for a moment as he took it in. He reached out his right hand. "Give it here, let me have a closer look."

Ellie extended the guitar to him and he took it. He whistled as he admired the craftsmanship. "She's a beaut. Where'd you find something in this kind of condition?"

She shrugged. "Rebecca, down at the swap shop, just… gave it to me. She said Declan found it on a supply raid this week, and that he insisted it be given to me. Free of charge."

He lifted his eyebrows at that. "Ain't that something."

She nodded, then watched as he looked the guitar over. "Oh, and she says 'hi.'"

He set it across his lap and gave the strings an open strum. "Well… here's your first problem. She's out of tune something fierce. Now, I'm gonna need your help fixin' that, okay?" he said, gesturing to his left arm.

Ellie still wasn't fully accustomed to seeing his arm end in an abrupt stump a few inches below his elbow. The strangeness of it would undoubtedly pass with time, but she kept expecting that the next time she saw him the hand would miraculously return. It never did.

"Okay. What do I do?"

"Here… sit down," he took a seat on the couch and directed her to sit to his right. She plopped down next to him and he slid the body of the guitar into her lap, leaving the headstock in front of him. "Okay. Now, hit the string closest to your face."

"Like this?" she plucked at the thickest string.

"That's right," he replied, reaching up with his hand to adjust the tuning knob. "Go on, do it again." She did, and he adjusted the knob once more. "Alright. That there's your low 'E' string. Now, I know most of this note stuff won't make too much sense right off the bat, but I promise, in time it will."

"Okay. So what's this one?" she asked as she hit the next string.

"That's supposed to be your 'A' string, but…" he reached up and pressed down the lowest string on the fifth fret. "Okay, see what I'm doin' here?" She nodded. "Go on, try it yourself, then hit the two low strings together."

The notes that sounded rang out in unpleasant dissonance, and Ellie turned to give Joel a look of mock disgust. "That sounds like shit. What kind of chord is that?"

Joel shook his head. "It ain't a chord, it's how you tune the rest of your strings to the first one. You see this second knob here?" She nodded. "What you want to do is turn this until the two notes sound the same. Go ahead, hit them again." She did, and this time Joel turned the second knob until the notes were nearly indistinguishable from each other. "There we go!"

"Awesome!" she said, scooting up on the couch a little bit as her excitement gathered.

"Okay, now keep doing that with each string until they're all in tune. There's one curve ball in there, but I'll point it out when you get to it."

He looked on fondly as she proceeded to tune up the guitar. He guided her around tuning the 'B' string, but at last the guitar was in tune. Ellie held the guitar in her lap, buoyed by a sense of accomplishment.

She bounced up and down briefly. "Okay, okay! Teach me something!"

"Alright, kiddo. But it's been a long time, so… this ain't gonna be easy."

"Dammit," he muttered, getting up from the couch. He walked over to stare out the window, instinctively going to put his hands on his hips. It resulted in an awkward motion when he remembered he didn't have a left hand anymore. It only seemed to add to his frustration.

"Joel, don't worry about it, it's okay," Ellie said, hoping to reassure him.

He held his left arm out and looked at it from beneath a furrowed brow. "It's just… damn frustratin', is all. It's like… I can still feel the fingers but there ain't nothin' there. Rememberin' chords through muscle memory ain't easy when the muscles just ain't there no more."

Ellie set the guitar back in its case, handling it as gingerly as possible, then strode up next to him. She took hold of his shoulders, fighting to meet his gaze, which seemed adamant to avoid hers. "Look, it's fine. We've got nothing but time. I'm sure it'll come back to you." She offered him a smile. "Besides, we made good progress for the first lesson."

He let a long exhale escape through his nose. "Yeah. I suppose you're right." He sauntered back to the couch and took a seat.

Ellie followed, pulling her knees up to her chest as she sat next to him. She rested her head on her knees and fiddled with her sneakers for awhile. Outside, the relentless overcast sky was being dispersed by the midday sun.

After several minutes passed, Joel rose and went to the kitchen, returning a few moments later with a couple glasses of bourbon. He extended one to Ellie and she stared at it before taking it. "This early?"

"Oh, c'mon, it's after noon. Besides, it's five o' clock somewhere," he replied, returning to his seat.

She chuckled. "I guess." The bourbon brought with it a taste of warm familiarity, and Ellie hearkened back to that first sip, so long ago, in the house in Laramie. She smiled at the remembrance of her initial reaction, especially in contrast to her developed fondness of it now.

"So," Joel started after taking a draw from his glass, "where'd you run off to this morning?"

She looked over at him briefly before returning her gaze to her sneakers. "I told you. The swap shop. Got the guitar, remember?"

He let out a small laugh that didn't convey amusement. "I felt you get up at the crack of dawn and head out. You didn't come back here til late mornin'. Now, I know Jackson's big and all, but it don't take that long to go to the swap shop and back."

Her cheeks flushed and she kept her eyes on her shoes. She was silent for a long time. "I… I went and saw her again today."

A bit of frustration seeped back into Joel's demeanor. "Ellie-"

"I figure one of us should." She shrugged.

He let out a long, labored sigh. "I wish you'd stop doin' that."

"But-"

"Ellie, the whole reason I came back here with you was to focus on the future, not to dwell on the past."

She wrapped her arms around her legs and hugged them close. "I get that, Joel, but you can't just act like she's not fucking there. Believe it or not, there is some middle ground between dwelling on the past and acting like it never happened. The least you could do is visit her grave once in a while."

"I don't think that's such a good idea," he said tentatively.

She gave an aggravated groan. "Joel, you've spent your whole life running from the past, even though you, yourself, have admitted that you can't escape it. Why are you still trying? Why don't you just… fucking face it for once?"

He gave her a long, studying look before taking another sip from the glass. He sighed in surrender. "Maybe you're right…I'll… next time you're gonna give her a visit, I'll join you. Okay?"

She looked at him blankly, but then smiled after a moment. "Deal."

Joel nodded and rose to his feet. He headed over to the open guitar case and gently closed the lid, clasping it shut. "We'll pick this up again tomorrow. Now, I don't know about you, but I'm gettin' hungry. What say I rustle up some lunch for us?"

The mere thought of food made her stomach grumble right on cue, provoking a laugh from each of them. "Oh man…" Ellie said through the tail end of laughter. "Did we ever find a muzzle for that thing?"

"Hmph. I reckon one don't exist."

"Alright, I'll get out of your way. I think I'm gonna go sit in the backyard for awhile," she said, turning to head out the back door. "Oh, hey, Bec also gave me a few cans of food. They're in my backpack."

"Okay."

He listened as she walked out onto the porch and stepped down onto the lawn. Her backpack was in the next room, and he turned to fetch it. He brought it to the kitchen, unzipped it and started pulling cans from inside. He distributed them with their respective food groups in the pantry, taking a moment to gaze at the label of the cherry pie filling.

A tug of sadness pulled on him, and by reflex he started to block the emotions out. Things happen, and we move on. His old mantra was the first thing to spring into his mind, but Ellie's words wore away at it. Perhaps he should just buck up and face it.

Something in Ellie's backpack caught his eye. It had been hidden underneath the can of cherry pie filling, and he reached down and picked it up. It was a voice recorder, like one of the many he'd come across in their cross-country journey. Bloody fingerprints covered its face.

He looked out of the kitchen window into the backyard. Ellie was facing away from him, sitting on the tabletop of the picnic table, staring at the mountains and ridges that surrounded Jackson. He looked down at the recorder again and pressed play.

Golden beams of sunlight began piercing the blanket of clouds, casting splotches of light onto the lawn. She watched them shift and undulate, gliding across the grass as the wind rearranged the clouds overhead. The warm spring breeze laced through the strands of her hair, licking at the back of her neck as a sunbeam washed over her.

She shivered, in spite of the warmth, which made her think of Titus. She had pushed the emotions that stemmed from his desertion out of her mind ever since he'd disappeared without warning or explanation. The vacant, empty sorrow that had been suppressed rose to the surface. If only he had stayed.

Her eyes drifted to the small grave at the back of their property, marked by the little wooden cross adorned with the name Cosmo. She hoped that, wherever he was, Titus was alive and well. It was a listless hope.

The small grave, in turn, made her think of the larger one she had visited that morning. The death that had led to the events of the subsiding winter. Going after Joel had brought her to death's door more than once, but somehow, someway, she had found him. She had saved him. She had brought him back.

Being back in Jackson almost felt stranger than the first time they'd arrived. There were no skeletons in the closet between her and Joel this time, which should have put her more at ease, but something about it still felt foreign. She knew it would take a long time to once again grow comfortable with the idea of safety. Beyond that, she carried the additional weight of the things she'd done and the lives she'd taken in her relentless quest to find him.

Now, as when she first arrived, she felt an inexplicable temptation to run off into the woods, to grab Joel and hit the road with him once again. But she knew better than that. When the world hands you a gift, you don't squander it. When you get a second chance, you take hold of it. You don't let go.

"Uh… so… ummm. Fuck-" the recorder crackled as if the recording had stopped and then started again. The voice was Ellie's. "Okay. Let's try this again. I feel like a fucking idiot for talking to a stupid voice recorder, so… I'm just gonna pretend like I'm talking to you, Joel."

There was a long pause in the recording before it picked up again. "I found this recorder thing today when I was looking for supplies. I figured, you know… it'll help me stay awake in the long hours of the night. Like right now. I can't see a thing, and it's fucking freezing in here. You're the only thing keeping me warm."

Again, a long pause stretched on, interrupted only by the sound of her breathing. "I've been awake for three straight days, so… everything's kind of… I dunno, loopy right now. Probably explains why I'm even recording this at all, but fuck it. I'm too afraid to sleep. I'm too afraid that I'll wake up… and... you'll be gone."

A loud sniffle broke up the next pause, followed by a shaky exhale. "You died, you know. That first morning after I cut-" Her words stopped short. She let out a sigh and then cleared her throat. "But I brought you back. I'm not sure how. Maybe it was… fuck, I dunno what it was. Sheer force of will? Whatever. All I know is you died, and I brought you back.

"If you were still infected, you would have turned by now, so… I guess it worked. Fucking good thing it did, because I don't know if I could ever bring myself to shoot you in the head. God…" Another sniffle broke the silence. "I know… I know from experience that… dying is easier than watching someone die. I refuse to believe that that's what's happening here." She let out a deep breath, trying to steady herself. "My ear is pressed to your ribs right now, and listening to your heartbeat… gives me hope. I think it's getting stronger. It might just be this whole… lack of sleep making me imagine things, but whatever. It's getting stronger. It has to be. It is."

Joel watched Ellie sitting on the picnic table as her words poured out of the recorder. She was sitting cross-legged with her elbows on her knees and her head resting on one hand, fidgeting with something unseen with the other.

"There's some things that we hold onto," her voice continued. "I don't mean, like… physical things, necessarily. Just… I don't know. Words. Feelings. Things we want to say but never build up the courage to actually say them. Especially to someone's face. We… we hold them inside…. we hold them in our heads and take them out from time to time, turning them over until they're worn and familiar, like the backs of our hands. But we always keep them there, in our heads. We just keep them to ourselves.

"I never knew my real dad. Fuck, for that matter I didn't actually know my mom either, beyond what she wrote in her note and what Marlene has told me. I… I never had parents, really. Until you. Marlene doesn't count. She'd just check in on me from time to time, and keep track of me. She wasn't involved. She was just fulfilling her duty to my mom. I barely considered her a friend.

"But you…" There was a pause of such length that Joel thought the recording might have ended. Her voice, having gone shaky, broke the silence at last. "In a world like this… and.. in a life like this… when you find someone and care for them and… draw strength from them… you find yourself tethered to them. You grab hold of them and refuse to let go. You hold onto them as if life depends on it... because it does.

"And it's always those people we keep things from. Things that we want to say, that we should say. Life's too fucking short for those things to be left unsaid." She scoffed before continuing. "Look at me, I can't even take my own fucking words seriously. I can't even say this all to your face… I have to resort to talking to a recorder while you're... lying next to me unconscious.

"Well… if you ever happen across this thing someday and decide to listen to it, I hope you understand what I've been trying to say. It's something I shouldn't be afraid to tell you in person, but... I… I guess I am. I-"

Joel waited in anticipation for the recording to continue, but again, the pause was dilated. Ellie's uneven breaths filled the kitchen, followed by a few sniffles as she audibly fought off tears. The next three words were barely decipherable.

"I love you."

The recorder clicked off, marking the end of the message. Joel looked at her out the window again. He couldn't fathom the weight of what that little girl had gone through to get back here with him. He looked down at his left arm, trying to imagine what it must have been like for her to remove it, cold and scared and alone. The world had thrown so much hell at her, but still she persevered. He wiped a tear from his eyes.

She tugged at the lace of her sneaker. The things were falling apart, and her feet were starting to strain against the stitching. She'd had them for a couple years, and had apparently grown quite a bit in that stretch. They'd crossed the country with her, trudging through snow and mud, getting soaked in rivers and flooded fields, and protecting her feet as she fled Infected or hunters.

But that was in the past. There would be no more running. She looked up at the tops of the mountains. She was home. She could have a normal life, or as normal as you could have anymore. She could put her switchblade back on the windowsill upstairs. She could live. She could build a life with Joel. There was even a chance that she could be happy.

Somewhere behind her, from the back porch of their home, a distant voice was calling her name. She heard it, and turned to face him, smiling. She met his eyes and dove into them, and within them she found what she had spent her life searching for. Within them, she found love.

She saw the old voice recorder in his hand, and then understood the tears that had streaked down his face. He opened his arms, and she ran into them. He wrapped her in an embrace, and whispered into her ear.

She was never alone.

THE END

THIS CONCLUDES AFTERMATH: PART III
AND THE AFTERMATH SERIES

A/N: I can't believe it's finished. Seriously, I can't believe it. It's been a journey spanning SEVEN months of writing and editing and rewriting and reading reviews which led to laughing and blushing and critical thought. I don't know how I'm going to write the summation of my thoughts and feelings appropriately, but I'm going to try.

First things first, if you've been following this series since the beginning or just came across it today, thank you for taking time out of your life to read it. It kinda tickles me to see people enjoying something I've written. As I said, going into this I hadn't done any creative writing since high school, which was 8 years ago. But now, because of the enjoyment I've gleaned from writing this series, I'm writing my first novel. It's just unbelievable how much can change in the span of seven months.

So here's what I need you to do: if you've been lurking in the shadows, come out of hiding and say hello. If you've been reviewing every chapter, please give your final thoughts. I'd like to hear from anyone and everyone who has read this. No, this isn't some cheap attempt at getting the most reviews on FanFiction dot net, but that would be a nice side effect. I sincerely do want to hear from everyone and if you have an account here that's even better because then I can reply to you personally. You guys are great!

And to those of you who have been reviewing every chapter, and I mean every chapter (you know who you are) just know that I always look out for your reviews and am anxious to read them. Thanks for showing such a commitment to the series and giving me so much encouragement. You have changed the course of my history.

So here we are, at the end of Part III. At the end of The Last of Us, one of the themes that came out was "How far would you go to save the one you love? Would you kill? Would you do worse?" We got to see. We got to experience firsthand and have agency to how far Joel would go to save Ellie.

In chapter 19 of Part III, we got to see just how far Ellie would go to save Joel, and how she had been given a second chance. It was a very intentional choice to have Joel's bite be identical to Riley's, and the symbolism there was important. Ellie refuses to let history repeat itself, and so she changes it. It's by no means easy on her, and she'll likely have nightmares about that moment for the rest of her life, but to go to those great lengths shows just how much she loves Joel.

The way the epilogue starts is actually written as a strong nod to the start of Winter in the game. You're left not knowing whether Joel has survived, and instead have to follow Ellie on some apparent side-quest, kept in suspension as you wait for the words "Medicine!" or "That's awful." It was such a master stroke on the part of Naughty Dog that I stuck with the winning strategy for it.

As you can probably gather from the chapter, Ellie's mental state isn't in the best condition. She's constantly losing focus and is burdened by the things she's done. It's interesting that she tells Joel to stop running from his past and to face his issues when in some ways she's refusing to face her own. I'd like to think that she'll find happiness eventually. All wounds heal in time, as the old saying goes.

The idea to have Joel get bit and Ellie amputate his arm actually came very soon on the heels of Left Behind. The story of the helicopter crew provided the perfect background, and the perfect metaphorical mirror, to give this story its weight. Sure, the love between Joel and Ellie and between Regan and Ellis is of a different sort, but it's love nonetheless. Whereas Regan and Ellis's story have a tragic ending, Joel and Ellie's doesn't. Oh, and did anyone catch the "Regan and Ellis" = "Riley and Ellie" parallel? Clever clever, Naughty Dog.

So as I look back on the arc of the entire series, I feel overall pretty happy with it. Looking back now, I don't think I'd go back and touch Part I at all. I think that's probably the strongest of the three parts, but it also had the advantage of having a predefined beginning and end, story-wise and character development wise. I was constrained, and that probably helped more than I readily admit. Part III, I'm also very happy with. I think I told the story that I wanted to tell and, given the experience gained from all of this writing, the best written of the three.

Which brings me to Part II. I, myself, am sort of torn with the second half of Part II. I think, looking back, I might have handled the conclusion differently, possible eschewing the character of Lakyn completely. I'm not going to rewrite it after it's been published because I don't believe in that, but if I could go back I might try to find some other tragic event that could make Joel leave. Perhaps, through his actions, he nearly gets Ellie killed. Maybe he's on patrol with Maria and she gets killed "on his watch," and he comes to the same conclusion he did with Lakyn: that he's some sort of black widower, somehow causing the deaths of all the women in his life. Looking back on it now, I just don't think there's any believable scenarios where Joel finds romance. Sadly, I think that ship has left the harbor. If you disagree, even to the point that you think the Lakyn thing worked, well then I'm flattered. Anyway, I wrote a long blog post about this sort of justifying my position on it, but I still think I could have done a better job with the execution of it. But, live and learn.

What happened to Titus? Here's the big shocker: I don't know. He ran off. It's a mystery. Is he alive? I don't know. Sometimes people or animals leave with no explanation. Life has a way of being unremarkable, and unfulfilling, like that.

And just who were those two strangers, you ask? The ones Joel and Ellie run across in the woods whose names aren't revealed until this chapter? Well, I mentioned, again, in another blog post that I was throwing around the idea of having an AU version of my two main characters from my novel make an appearance in the Aftermath series. I can finally confirm that that is indeed who these two are. Declan and Rebecca are the lead characters in the novel, and their physical descriptions are pulled almost word for word from it (except for the clothing as the novel takes place in warmer climates.) Rebecca nearly tells Joel her name when she first meets him, but he cuts her off at 'R-' and Declan is affectionately referred to as 'D' to keep his name a secret until this chapter. In the novel, when Rebecca meets Declan, he introduces himself as "Dec" and actually never tells her his full name. She, in kind, initially introduces herself as "Bec" just so she can say "hey, look at us! Bec and Dec, right?" That's where the "Bec" nickname comes from. So yeah, sorry there's no HUGE TWIST OMG as to who these two are. Just a writer having fun at his own inside joke. I thought bringing them back in the final chapter would give them some greater purpose here.

I'd love to be able to tell you what the name of the novel is, but I don't have a name yet. As followers of the blog know, I'm writing my novel while two friends of mine are also writing novels in the same universe, and we plan to have this all be part of a larger series, but we don't have a name for the series, either. Which is frustrating because I can't give you a name to look out for. The best I can do is ask you to bookmark or follow my Wordpress blog (just click on my name on here, it'll take you to my profile where the link to the blog is posted.) If you follow that, I'll be posting updates about the novel and eventually that series will get its own website because I think we're planning on doing some viral promo stuff for it to build some interest. If you've enjoyed my writing and want to see more, that's the best way to do it.

If you read the soundtrack choice, you'll see I directed you to a link in my profile for Aftermath (Main Theme). I composed and recorded this in my bedroom as just a fun little project to tie off the series. I'm not a sound engineer, so I'm sure it's got plenty of EQ and other issues, and I know the actual playing isn't perfect, but eh. It was just a rough track for fun. I wanted to tie together variations on the themes "All Gone," "The Last of Us," and "The Path" in a way that I thought fit the feel of the series. I hope it's at least passable.

In addition, I remember mentioning I was going to be working on a project to give you a new way to experience the Aftermath series, but unfortunately I think that project has fizzled out. My original plan was to partner with a talented artist I found on Reddit who excels at the kind of artwork you see in TLoU's concept art gallery. I spoke with the artist about bringing several of the scenes from the Aftermath series to life, but after a few short interactions with him, I never heard from him again. So that's too bad, because I was really looking forward to it! Oh well...

Well, I feel like this author's note is nearly as long as the chapter (actually, that's an exaggeration... the chapter was frickin' loooooong.) So I should probably wrap things up. I might be writing a blog post in a few days summing up more of my thoughts after having some time to decompress. Again, thank you thank you thank you to anyone who has ever read this series and posted their thoughts on it. Please say hi in the reviews and let me know what you think of the conclusion to the series.

And I reiterate: yes, this is the end. The definitive end. I know what you're thinking: "How can this be the definitive end?" Because I said so. There will be no Aftermath: Part IV. Of that, I am certain. It's time to focus on my book.

Thank you all and God bless you for making it this far.