Welcome Home, Mister Death

A Gintama thingamawhatsit

By

"What?" said Gintoki, staring blankly at Tetsuko. He picked some wax out of his ear.

The bluenette blinked.

This was certainly not the reaction she had expected. Maybe cursing, a bit of despair. You know, some wailing, some gnashing of teeth, some tearing at their clothes. That was the sort of thing you would expect from somebody who had just received the kind of news that she had given them.

But neither of the two ronin showed any signs of dismay or surprise.

"Umm... You did hear me, right?" she said. "That your friend is probably beyond any hopes of rescue?"

Katsura scoffed.

"Oh, we heard," he said. "But we already told you. Shinpachi-kun won't be bested by something like this."

"Yeah, yeah," said Gin unconcernedly. He waved his free hand dismissively as he wiped the pinky of the other one off on Katsura's kimono. "You already told us that pretty early on before that, you know? Just because a couple thousand words went by in the interim, you think we're gonna react differently? That we're just gonna randomly fall into a pit of despair and start mourning the inevitable?"

The silver-haired samurai shook his head.

"Look," he said, continuing. "We've dealt with plenty of demon swords before. What makes this Benizakura any different?" He gestured to the beat up old katana lying naked on the anvil, its tarnished blade scarcely showing any signs of its famed, sanguine gleam. "A dull, worthless blade like this should be no problem for a main character to break free of."

Katsura nodded.

"Yes, even the Shinsengumi's vice-chief was able to throw off his own possession," he said, the faintest trace of bile in his voice as he spoke of Toshiro Hijikata. "And that Okita reversed Maganagi's consumption of his body, correct? These were just secondary characters, but they were still able to handily overcome a similar trial as this."

"Right, right," said Gin, nodding in agreement. "In shonen manga, even a gag series like this, it's all about star power. Main characters never die."

"...for the most part," added Katsura quietly. "There are exceptions, of course..."

Gin paled a little, and he laughed nervously.

"W-well, this is just a gag manga, right?" he said. "No matter how you look at it, there's no way the author could off a main character. Not unless he planned to either bring them back, or send the series spiralling straight down into darkness and angst."

Tetsuko sighed, listening to these two talking. She shifted her weight nervously on her knees, seated in seiza position. Her short, colorful dress was scuffed and dirtied. She chewed anxiously on her lower lip, shaking her head slowly and clenching her fists until her knuckles were white.

She could see through the facade that these two were putting up. She saw the worry in their eyes, the tension in their postures. Their smiles were weak and forced, their faces pale and drawn.

Gintoki and Katsura were acting strong, pretending that everything would be okay. They spoke optimistically, without worry. Verbally, they made light of the situation, treating it like only a minor, temporary inconvenience. They spoke with bravado, laughing and reassuring one another that Shinpachi would be perfectly alright, that he would recover without issue and be back in action in no time.

Morosely, Tetsuko wondered for a moment if these two were simply acting strong for the sake of the young girl in the next room, or if they were really trying to convince themselves that everything was okay. She didn't know what it was, what their reasoning might be for acting this way.

But she could not let them lie. Not to Kagura, not to themselves. Not about something this serious.

Unfounded hope was a dangerous thing.

"Don't screw around..." the pretty young swordsmith murmured, gritting her teeth. She dug her fingernails into her knees. Her frame was trembling, and tears dripped from her eyes. "I'm serious. Shinpachi... is going to die."

The room went deathly silent. Gintoki and Katsura froze up, their backs stiffening immediately. They looked at Tetsuko with swiftly paling faces.

"Hey... die?" said Gin weakly. "N...no way. Don't say something like that so lightly. I know you've told us that he's beyond saving, but... die? You... you're kidding, right?"

Tetsuko let out a weary exhalation.

"If only I was..." she whispered. "But, no. I'm completely serious. This sword, assuming that it is the original Benizakura..." She shook her head. "It's a demon weapon, through and through. The very first life it ever took was that of my father, its creator. It killed its own maker."

Gin and Katsura's grimaces deepened.

The silver-haired ronin glanced worriedly now through the door into the adjoining room, seeing for the first time just how gaunt Shinpachi looked. He'd thought it was just a result of the teen simply maturing, at first, when the roundness had started to leave his cheeks, when the boy'd started to shed the last lingering traces of baby fat. But now, what he'd though of initially as a simply a part of the lad's growth now seemed like something much more sinister.

"That's right..." he said slowly, feeling the chill that gripped his heart as he beheld his friend and protege's sickly appearance. "Your brother told me that back then, didn't he? When he hired me, that time... Your old man died only a month after making Benizakura."

Tetsuko nodded slowly, weakly.

"Sadly, yes," she murmured. "Though the sword did not physically wound him... I have no doubts that Benizakura is what took his life."

Katsura frowned.

"Or did he die of natural causes?" the man wondered quietly. "If he was suffering from a terminal illness when he forged Benizakura, it is possible that he may have been filled with feelings of bitterness and resentment at the realization of his own mortality and impending death. If a master swordsmith has the ability to imbue a portion of their soul into each blade they make... then what would happen if a dying man poured every ounce of his negative emotions – his regrets, his grudges, his fears – into one final katana?"

Tetsuko balked.

"I... suppose that is also possible..." she whispered. "Perhaps. If anyone could have been able to do such a thing, it would have been my father. But..."

Gin spoke up, seeing the doubt in Tetsuko's eyes.

"...ultimately, the how doesn't really matter," he said. "Right? It's not like knowing every dirty little detail of Benizakura's creation will bring us any closer to saving Shinpachi."

The man's eyes, normally dull and unfocused, flashed with a steely determination as he spoke. The expression on his face sent shivers up Tetsuko's spine. It was a rare sight, to behold such resolve in this hopeless good-for-nothing. The swordsmith herself had only seen such a look from him one other time, before.

She cast her eyes downward, feeling ashamed. Was she really about to give up so easily? This Shinpachi was one of Gin's cherished comrades, a youth he had taken under his wing as the earnest squire to his White Knight. After he had tried so hard to save her brother, back then, even after the misguided man had tried to set up his murder just to strengthen his own "Benizakura"...

It shamed the young woman to realize how quickly she had been ready to abandon hope. She owed Gin a debt of gratitude for everything he had done for her in the past, didn't she? Even if her brother had ultimately died, still he had been able to see the folly of his ways before the end. It burned at her conscience to think that she had been about to abandon Gin's own precious little brother after everything the man had done for her.

"...that's right," Tetsuko said, raising her head once more to meet Gin's eyes with her own. She matched his steely resolve, setting her jaw grimly. "We will save him. Even if it's probably impossible, we won't know for sure until we've tried."

Katsura nodded, the smallest of smiles curving his lips.

"Precisely," he said. "If we don't give everything in our power to help our friend... then we can no longer call ourselves samurai, can we? This is our duty as Shinpachi-kun's comrades."

Gin chuckled softly, grinning as he glanced again into the adjacent room. He saw Kagura and Nobume looking in at him, Katsura and Tetsuko, kneeling down over Shinpachi. The former had a fire in her eyes, and determination in the set of her jaw. Even Nobume seemed the slightest bit moved by the proceedings, her usually blank expression faltering ever so minutely.

"Heheh... kick reason to the curb and go beyond the impossible, right?" the Shiroyasha mused wryly, smiling softly at Shinpachi's unmoving form.

Kagura nodded firmly, grinning with optimism. Nobume's lips twitched the slightest bit.

Tetsuko smiled.

Despite all of this optimistic talk, however, there was one rather sizable obstacle in their way. Unless they dealt with it, they could not even begin to help Shinpachi. But this obstacle was more daunting than any other, a challenge which would absolutely dwarf something as small as climbing Mount Everest or slaying a balrog.

Whoever took on this task probably would not be coming back in one piece. It was dangerous beyond compare, several orders of magnitude past being merely suicidal. It was an obstacle the peak of which towered above Heaven, its foundations reaching below even the deepest pits of Hell. The person who undertook it would likely be utterly obliterated in mind, body, and soul.

But it had to be done, before anything else. They had to give Tae Shimura the bad news.

May God have mercy on their souls.

"...Best three out of five?" said Gintoki tremulously, sweating bullets as he glanced between Elizabeth, Kagura, Katsura, and Nobume. His fingers were curled up into a fist, held out before him. Everyone else, in contrast, held their hands out flat with their palms down.

"Do not attempt to escape the inevitable, Gintoki," said Katsura firmly. "As Shinpachi-kun's mentor, you have a responsibility to uphold. Heaven sees this, and guides our hands accordingly."

Don't try to skive out of doing your share, you silver-permed good-for-nothing, said Elizabeth's signboard.

Gin glared at the probable amanto's blank, expressionless visage.

"You can't even throw anything but paper, dammit!" he snapped. "With those damn floppy flippers of yours. You have no right to talk. Or, um, pantomime."

"And what does it say, then, that Gin-chan was dumb enough to pick rock twice in a row, aru?" inquired Kagura blithely, picking her nose with her free hand.

"It's called strategy!" he snapped. "It's a double-bluff! You guys are the idiots for throwing paper twice. What, did you really all think I would choose rock two times in a row? Even if I did, it still says something that you were actually simple enough to assume that I would! You idiots."

Nobume looked at him, unexpressive.

"Or we simply knew that you were foolish enough to think that using rock twice in a row could be considered a good strategy," she said.

Gin scowled.

"What are you even doing here, anyways?!" he snapped at Nobume, pointing accusingly at the Mimawarigumi assassin. "You attacked Shinpachi, right? Why would we bring you with to tell his sister about his condition?!"

"It's because she attacked Patsuan, aru," said Kagura bluntly. "You don't really think we could just leave her behind with him and Tetsuko-chan, do you? She'd probably slit their throats the second we left."

Gin's face fell, and he grimaced. He averted his gaze from Kagura.

"...okay," he conceded. "That's actually a good point. There's no way we could trust her not to kill them."

Katsura and Kagura nodded their heads. Elizabeth also mimicked their actions, somewhat, though its head was pretty hard to distinguish from the rest of its body.

"Of course it is," said Katsura. "The Leader never makes a bad point."

Gin scowled. A vein throbbed in his forehead.

"Hey," he snapped. "I'm the leader around here."

Kagura gave him a baleful glare. Gin immediately recoiled, cowering ashamedly under the lass's fearsome glance.

"Just go in there and deliver the bad news," drawled Nobume emotionlessly. "I'm getting tired of waiting for something interesting to happen."

"I know, right?" said Kagura, smiling immediately at the assassin. "I just wanna see some blood."

Blood for the blood god! said Elizabeth's signboard. He flipped it over. Skulls for the skull throne!

"HEEEEEY!" Gin snapped, even louder. "You assholes don't care about giving that bitch the bad news at all, do you?!" His face was cast a violent ruddy hue, pointing an accusing finger at them. "You just want to see me get hurt!"

"That's unfair," said Katsura, shaking his head. "They don't want to see you get hurt, necessarily." He crossed his arms over his chest. "They simply wish to see Otae-dono maim somebody."

"THAT ISN'T ANY BETTER!" Gin roared in frustration. "NOT WHEN I'M GONNA BE THE ONE GETTING MAAAAIMED!"

The five of them had come here to Kodokan Dojo with the ostensible purpose of delivering the news of Shinpachi's condition to his older sister. Although they were determined to find some way to save their friend's life, they still knew that it would be irresponsible to not inform Tae Shimura of her little brother's unfortunate affliction.

At the very least, if things went south, it would only be proper for the young woman to be there at her brother's side. She did care for him, after all. Even if she sometimes had a very painful way of showing it.

So Gintoki, Katsura, Nobume, Elizabeth, and Kagura had come here with the intention of telling Tae the bad news. They would do everything in their power to save Shinpachi's life, but they still had a duty to their friend and his family. If nothing else, they would give Tae a chance to put her brother's affairs in order, on the off chance that they failed to save him.

Tetsuko, of course, had stayed behind at her smithy. Someone needed to keep an eye on Shinpachi, and she was the most trustworthy and reliable (and sane) person in the circle of those who knew. Nobume was basically an enemy, Katsura was too spacey to be trusted with something this delicate, Kagura was well-meaning but rambunctious, Elizabeth was Elizabeth, and Gin was the meatshield.

So, naturally, Gin was the one who got stuck with the job of telling Tae the bad news. Because he was the most expendable, in that respect.

Grumbling under his breath, feeling the goading stares of Kagura and the others at his back, Gintoki Sakata walked up to the front door of the Kodokan Dojo and knocked. He held his breath, tense and nervous, awaiting with a trembling frame and a bloodless face for Tae to answer the door. The wait seemed to stretch on for hours, the seconds ticking by at a snail's pace as Gin stood stock still in front of the door, his life flashing before his eyes.

He was up to the beginnings of puberty when the shoji sliding door finally opened. Tae Shimura stood before him in her accustomed pink kimono, a deceptively sweet and innocent smile on her face. She looked pretty and harmless, standing there, but Gin knew that under that cute (if flat-chested) exterior lay the black, unfeeling heart of a demon lord.

Tae's smile faded when she saw the grim expression on her visitor's face. Her eyes widened infinitesimally, seeing how sadly Gin looked at her. She perceived the slump in his shoulders, and the rigidity of his posture.

Her heart sank. Gin could practically see it, as Tae's heart dropped into the pit of her stomach, her face paling immediately. She already knew, without him needing to say a word.

"Gi...Gin-san...?" she breathed, her voice soft, quiet, scarcely above the lowest of whispers. "Wha...? What are you doing here...?"

She asked this, but she could already see the answer in his eyes. She could see it, but she didn't want to believe it. Her blood felt like ice in her veins. Her heart stubbornly refused to beat regularly, and her stomach churned and roiled with anxious dread.

Gin sighed, and he seemed unable or unwilling to directly meet Tae's eyes.

"It's... your brother..." he said slowly, morosely. "Shinpachi... he's in a bad way. We're not sure if he's going to make it."

"No!" Tae gasped, a sob wracking her shoulders. Tears welled up in her eyes, the floodgates opening at Gin's words. "Not Shin-chan...!"

In that moment, Gin could only stare disbelievingly. All the strength seemed to leave that terrifying woman instantly, all the malevolent power she held seeming to dissipate at once. She didn't look like the invincible demon lord he had come to think of her as, or even like one of the future Devas.

As Tae trembled, beginning to openly weep, Gin realized for the first time in a long while that she was just as human as he was. She stumbled in a daze, the strength seeming to leave her limbs as the news sunk in.

She was a woman, he remembered. And Shinpachi was her only living relative. She had already lost her mother, her father, her first love...

If Shinpachi went too, Gin perceived as Tae listed forward, insensate from shock as she wept, Otae might very well break. It struck him like a physical blow, catching the young woman in his arms, to realize in that moment just how vulnerable she really was. Tae acted so strong normally, but her little brother really was one of the only constants in her life. He was her anchor, in a way.

If they failed to save Shinpachi...

Tae would be like a ship adrift on the ocean. Like the ancient mariner, Gin could tell in that instant that Shinpachi's death would weigh down upon her like the murder of the albatross. She would bear his corpse about her neck, metaphorically speaking, lost in the icy doldrums of apathy.

It would break her, if he died.

Gin grit his teeth, and he wrapped his arms around Tae, holding the woman tight as she sobbed into his breast. He felt her tears dampen his kimono, her frame trembling weakly against him.

She seemed so small in his arms, so fragile.

"Shin-chan..." Tae whimpered, shivering. Her breath rasped in her throat, a piteous airy rattling. "Shin-chan... No...! Not him, too!"

"Don't worry, Otae," said Gin softly, rubbing a hand comfortingly on her upper back. "We'll do everything we can to get Patsuan through this alive. On my honor, I'll do everything I can to help him."

Tae sobbed harder at this, and she wrapped her arms tightly around Gin's frame. She held him fast, showing no intention of letting him go any time soon.

"I'll hold you to that, Gin-san..." she said. "If... If you can't save my brother... I expect you to apologize... wholeheartedly. Your life for his... I'll make you slit your belly, if he doesn't make it...!"

Gin smiled morosely, and he bowed his head over Tae's. He held her protectively, comfortingly.

"It's a promise," he said. "I guarantee your baby brother will make it, one hundred percent."

Tae moaned quietly.

"Liar," she said.

Gin sighed sadly, tears glimmering in his own eyes.

"Yeah... I know."

They stayed like that for a while, just the two of them.

A/N: The first six or seven pages of this were relatively lighthearted and optimistic, but then it got real heavy and depressing at the end. It seems like that's becoming about the norm, for this fic.

I suppose you could take this to maybe be GinTae teasing, if you wanted to. My intentions while writing it were mostly platonic, but it's possible there might be something there...

Also, thanks (as always) to everyone who has read, reviewed, faved, and followed this fic! ESPECIALLY to those who've reviewed~! ;)

Hehe, Shinpachi's become more of a set piece/plot device, now, in this fic, but then that's also a way to explore his character, particularly in what he means to the people around him. Gin-san and Kagura and the others may not always be the most encouraging or supportive, but I feel like they really DO care about Patsuan when push comes to shove. It's just that sometimes it takes something awful happening for them to remember this.

Chapter added: 3-20-14

TTFN and R&R!

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