Ripple Effect

You who choose to lead must follow

But if you fall you fall alone,

If you should stand then who's to guide you?

If I knew the way,

I would take you home.

~ Lyrics from 'Ripple' by the Grateful Dead ~

Hutch looked across the desk and watched his partner bang away at the typewriter. It had been over a month since Terry died. Just a shell of his partner had returned to work a week later. His eyes were hooded and dark, his usual vibrancy almost non-existent. Hutch spent every spare minute with his best friend until Starsky threw him out one night. "Go get a life of your own, Hutch. I'm okay." The words echoed in Hutch's head. Starsky wasn't okay. The guilt he felt after George Prudholm killed the love of his life ate away at him. Even those not as close to the man could see his spirit decaying over the past few weeks.

Dobey had ordered Starsky to see the department shrink and obviously Starsky had said all the right things as Dobey nodded at the report sent back to him and let Starsky get back to the job he loved. Back to the job he once loved.

"Hutch?" Starsky's voice pierced Hutch's thoughts.

"What?" he asked, sitting up straighter and reaching for a file.

"You okay? You looked a thousand miles away."

Hutch didn't answer but instead met his partner's eyes. They both held the look for a moment, then Starsky turned away quickly, pulling the report from the typewriter. He knew. Hutch could feel that Starsky saw the worry in his eyes, the concern. But once again, it was dismissed. Hutch let out a sigh which was also ignored by Starsky as he dropped the finished report into a bin.

"Let's get back on the street. We can take your car." Starsky grabbed his jacket and left the squad room without looking back or waiting for Hutch.

Hutch leaned over the desk and folded his hands in front of him. He stared off into space as he racked his mind trying to find some way of reaching the Dave Starsky he knew and loved. Not even Starsky's once-prized Torino seemed to mean anything to the man anymore. With another sigh, Hutch rubbed the heels of his hands into his eyes then got up and headed to the parking lot. He found Starsky leaning against his old Ford, arms crossed.

"What took you so long?" Starsky asked, annoyed. He didn't receive a reply and didn't seem to care.

Hutch pulled out into the street and headed downtown. He felt Starsky's eyes on him and glanced over to see concerned eyes staring back. He looked away. Everything about his friend had seemed to disappear except two things: his expertise on the job and his own concern about Hutch. But once Starsky knew that Hutch was physically okay and that his mood was nothing more important than worry for him, Starsky withdrew again. Hutch was too exhausted to try to talk to him about it again. It was Huggy who had suggested Hutch see a therapist and at first he scoffed at the idea.

"It's him not me that has the problem, Hug."

"I know that but maybe you could learn how to help him."

Hutch had thought about it for a few minutes and nodded. "You have more than street smarts, you know that, Huggy?"

Hutch inwardly smiled as he remembered the colorful reply that Huggy had given him. He would make an appointment when he had a free minute. Hutch breathed out slowly, clinging onto a shred of hope that something would work and give him his best friend back. He missed Starsky even though he was sitting just a few feet from him. He missed him terribly. Hutch jumped as the radio came to life.

All units in the vicinity of 2581 West Highland. We have a 211 in progress.

Starsky looked over at Hutch who nodded. Starsky keyed the mic and let dispatch know they were on the way. Hutch took a quick right turn and then a left to get them onto West Highland. Starsky killed the siren as they approached. As expected, they were the first unit on scene. Hutch double parked the Galaxie 500 and jumped out, following Starsky to the window of the small grocery store. Starsky readied his weapon as he slid up to the window and quickly glanced in.

"Two that I can see, one has the owners and at least one other person against the far wall. The other guy is emptying the register at the back." No other words were spoken. The two partners communicated in nods and gestures then Starsky headed along the side of the building to the back.

Hutch put his gun back in the holster and walked into the front door whistling, preparing to act like a customer coming upon the robbery. He found the owner consoling his wife. Hutch's eyes flew to the register. Just as his heart began to beat wildly, he heard the shot ring out from behind the store. They came in too late. The thieves had already left and headed right into Starsky's lap.

Time slowed down as Hutch broke into a run, pulling his weapon from its holster once again. He heard tires screeching as he reached the back door. A grey van headed up the side street, smoke billowing from its wheels. Hutch aimed and took a shot, then another but was blinded by the white smoke. He coughed and turned back toward the store, glancing around for his partner. Hutch's eyes stopped when he spotted the blue stripped sneaker.

"Starsky!" He ran to his friend's side.

"I…I'm okay," Starsky panted as he clutched his side. Blood seeped through his fingers.

"Hang on. Don't move!" Hutch stood up and ran back into the store. "I need an ambulance. Can someone please call an ambulance? My partner's been shot." Hutch didn't receive an answer. The owner was still consoling his elderly wife. The customer had disappeared. Hutch looked around frantically. He spotted a phone under the cash register and called for paramedics and an ambulance. Before heading back to Starsky, he grabbed a handful of dish towels from a shelf.

When Hutch got back to the parking lot, Starsky was pushing himself up. "I told you not to move."

Starsky leaned against the dumpster and grunted as he straightened his legs out. "Just…didn't…want to be…laying in the dirt."

Hutch unzipped Starsky's jacket and pulled open his shirt so he could see the bullet wound. He pressed half the towels against it, causing Starsky to hiss. "Sorry."

"S'okay. I'm okay."

"Like hell you are." Hutch gently felt around to Starsky's back and found the exit wound. Starsky winced.

"See, no biggie." He gave Hutch an empty smile just as the paramedic squad pulled into the lot.

Starsky was soon loaded into the waiting ambulance. "I'll meet you there," he called in to Starsky who just waved a hand at him. Hutch quickly spoke to the uniformed officers at the scene and was then on his way to Memorial.

He arrived not long after the ambulance and spotted Starsky's gurney being pushed into a room down the hall. He followed. He was quickly ushered back out of the room and told where to wait. Surprisingly, he didn't seem to have to wait long before the same nurse that pushed him out of the room came to collect him. Hutch quietly entered the treatment room and went to Starsky's side. He was glad to see him still conscious and less pale then when he had left him.

"How ya doing, Pal?"

"Like I told ya, I'm fine. Doc Bradshaw here says they just have to patch me up a bit."

Hutch looked up at the doctor who smiled. "He was very lucky. The bullet didn't hit anything major. We'll just bring him up to surgery now and sew him back up. Should be back on his feet soon."

"Thank you, Doctor."

Dr. Bradshaw smiled. "My pleasure. You can wait on the third floor."

"He knows the drill," Starsky said dryly and Hutch nodded in agreement.

Hutch looked back down at Starsky and patted his arm. "I'll see you later when you wake up. Need anything?"

"Nah, I'm fine."

"So you've been telling me…" Hutch stopped himself from adding "for weeks" to the end of his comment. He instead pasted on a smile and stepped back as the attendants pushed Starsky into the hall. Hutch headed for a payphone to update Dobey and to call Starsky's mother.

Two hours later, Hutch began to pace. After three hours, he became concerned. At four hours, he headed out of the waiting room in search of answers and was met in the hall by Starsky's doctor. Hutch's stomach felt like it fell into his feet as he saw the expression on the older man's face.

"Doc?" Hutch couldn't manage to get anymore out. The doctor took Hutch by the arm and steered him into a room off the hall.

"Sit down, Sergeant."

"What's going on?" Hutch asked in almost a whisper.

When he saw that Hutch was not going to sit, the doctor rested a hip on the small desk in the room and folded his arms. "Well, we don't quite know." Before Hutch could respond, he continued. "The surgery went smoothly and everything was closed neatly and easily."

"But?"

"But your partner's blood pressure dropped considerably and his heartbeat became erratic."

"He's…" Again, Hutch couldn't continue.

"He's alive."

Hutch let out a breath and reached to steady himself on the back of a chair.

"But he isn't coming out of the anesthesia."

Hutch rubbed his chest as his own heart tried to leap through his ribs. "But he will. He just needs time."

"Sergeant, you partner is in a coma."

Starsky heard the soft sound of water lapping against rocks. He opened his eyes but all he saw was a gray mist. He looked down and saw that he was sitting in a row boat. He looked around him. Gentle ripples played on the water's surface. The mist began to recede. Starsky looked up and saw the sun just starting to show through, a rainbow halo encircled it. The sounds of birds floated across the lake. Starsky smiled and looked back down. He found himself staring into the most beautiful cornflower blue eyes.

"Terry?"

"Yes, Dave. It's me." Terry smiled and the remainder of the fog rolled away.

"What…what are you doing here?" Terry continued to smile at Starsky. He looked around at beautiful rolling green hills, flowering trees, deer frolicking in a meadow. "Where is this place?"

"This is heaven."

Starsky looked back at his lost love. His breath caught in his throat. He reached out to touch her but the row boat wobbled and they both grabbed the gunwale. A giggle floated up from Terry and Starsky's eyes misted over at the sound. "Let's go to shore," she said.

Starsky quickly grabbed the oars and was soon on the shore. He reached for Terry's hand to help her out of the row boat. A tingle shot up his fingers as he touched her. She looked down and giggled again as she felt it. Once she had both feet on solid ground, Starsky pulled her to him, wrapping his arms around her. He buried his face in her strawberry-scented hair then pulled away enough to put his lips to hers. The kiss also tingled. He hated to pull away but they both needed to come up for air.

"I can't believe you are here with me," Starsky's face broke into a shining smile and his heart fluttered in his throat.

"Isn't it wonderful?" Terry took his hand and began to walk. A squirrel skittered down a tree to meet her. She held out a peanut and the animal took it from her hand and began to break it open. They continued on into the meadow. Terry led Starsky to a fawn grazing on the grass. She reached out and patted the animal and looked at Starsky, gesturing to him to do the same. Starsky reached out with his free hand and stroked the fawn's soft head. With a sigh, Starsky pulled Terry back into his arms.

Hutch stood at his partner's bedside, carefully watching the monitors that beeped and buzzed around the bed. He looked down at Starsky's face. It was slightly pale but relaxed as if in sleep.

"Oh, Starsk. Please come back," Hutch said, his voice breaking.

Starsky pulled away from Terry's embrace and looked around. "What's wrong, Dave?"

"I don't know. I thought I heard something."

Terry reached up and put her hand on Starsky's cheek guiding his gaze back to hers. "I want to show you more. Come on." She let go of Starsky's hand and began to run. Starsky reached out and tried to grab her, his feet slipped in the wet grass. Terry ran into a grove of trees and out of sight. Starsky began to panic when he couldn't see her anymore.

"Terry? Where are you?" He heard a faint laugh and headed after her. Soon he spotted her in the dappled sunlight and started to run.

Hutch stepped back as an alarm sounded on a piece of equipment. A nurse came into the room and looked at the monitor, depressing a button. She placed a stethoscope to Starsky's chest and listened intently. After taking his blood pressure, she checked the drip on his IVs then turned to leave.

"What happened?" Hutch asked, realizing she wasn't even going to address him.

"I'm not sure. His heart rate increased. It is coming back down now. I'm going to note it in his chart." She left the room.

"In your chart? That's it? She's going to write something in a chart?" Hutch reached out and grabbed onto Starsky's wrist. "You're not just a piece of paper to be tallied, Starsk."

In the trees, Starsky ran quickly to catch up to Terry. He felt something pull on his arm and stopped. He turned back to face the meadow feeling as if he'd forgotten something there. He took a step but then heard Terry's voice behind him.

"Dave. Dave, where are you?" Her voice was melodic as she called his name. Starsky brushed his hand down his arm as if swatting at a bug. He turned back and followed the sound of Terry's voice. The grove of trees thinned then opened up to another beautiful meadow. A small cottage sat alongside a babbling brook. Terry stood on the front step and beckoned to him. Starsky caught up to her and took hold of both her hands.

"Don't do that again. I don't want to lose you."

Terry stepped down and met him with a smile. "You'll never lose me again. This is where we are going to live." She turned toward the cottage. "Do you like it?"

Starsky looked around slowly. "It's nice but…"

"But what?" Terry took a step back.

"Oh, nothing. It is just so peaceful."

"So?" She smiled widely.

"Well, I don't know. I'm a city boy, ya know?"

"Ah, I see." Terry gestured to him to follow her. She opened the door of the cottage and stepped inside. Starsky followed her.

His jaw dropped. It was his apartment in Bay City. He walked to a window and saw the busy street below. His Torino was parked outside also. He turned back to Terry. "How'd you do that?"

Terry shrugged and giggled. "Wasn't me. This is your heaven. It is anything you want it to be."

Starsky came back to the door where he entered and saw the meadow and heard the birds. He began to laugh too. "This is t'rrific." He wrapped Terry in a hug.

"I'm glad you like it."

"Wait'll Hutch sees this," Starsky said as he sat down on his couch. Terry came to his side. "He will see it when he gets here."

"Whataya mean?"

Terry patted Starsky on the shoulder and continued to smile sweetly. "He is still alive, Dave."

Starsky's smiled faded. "Oh. Oh, that's right." He looked around the apartment and suddenly felt alone despite having Terry by his side.

Hutch paced at the foot of his best friend's bed. He ran his long fingers through his hair then stopped to look at the still figure. The door opened slowly behind him and he looked back. It was Dobey, carrying the ubiquitous bouquet of yellow flowers.

"Oh hi," Hutch said as he turned back to look at Starsky.

"How's he doing?" Dobey asked as he looked for a place to set the flowers.

"Not good. They don't know why he isn't waking up and his heart and blood pressure are all over the place. Now they're dropping. Dobey came to Hutch's side and together they watched Starsky slowly breathe in and out. "I don't know, it is like he has just given up."

"Don't be sad, Dave," Terry said as she pulled on Starsky's arm and led him to the door. Starsky looked at the happy face of his true love and his sadness was forgotten. "Come with me. I'll show you everything." Terry's words were drowned out by a roaring noise in Starsky's head.

"What did you say? Terry?" Starsky looked around outside but couldn't see Terry. He ran down the steps and stumbled along on the uneven ground. The mist was closing in again. "Terry, where are you? I can't see you!"

The heart monitor above Starsky's bed began to beep wildly. Hutch jumped and ran to his friend's side. "He's not breathing!"

Dobey ran to the door to call for help but was met by a team of staff. He stepped aside as they entered the room then went into the hall to watch through the glass. Hutch huddled in the corner and looked on in horror as the nurse pulled Starsky's blankets aside for the doctor.

Back in the meadow, Starsky continued to fumble along in the foggy darkness. "Terry! Terry, I can't find you. Come back." He walked in the direction that he thought was the way back to the lake but the dappled tree line turned dark. He stopped and started to turn back but a bright light shot out of the darkness and enveloped him. He felt warm from inside and out. He started to walk toward the light, hoping to find Terry again.

"Dave. Stop." A voice came from his right and he turned to see Terry. She was dressed in shimmering white and her hair shone like gold.

"There you are," Starsky said with a smile but was concerned when Terry didn't smile back.

"You must not go that way, Dave."

"Okay, I'll go wherever you want me to." Starsky reached out for her hand but realized she wasn't as close to him as she seemed. He tried again but she faded out before he could touch her.

"Go back, Dave. You shouldn't be here."

"What are you talkin' about? You just said you were going to show me everything."

"That wasn't me." Terry's voice echoed around him.

Starsky scoffed but was becoming more and more confused. "Cut it out, Terry."

Terry's shimmering figure solidified once more. "Listen to me, Dave. You have to go back. This isn't heaven and that isn't me." Terry gestured to her left over to a smiling duplicate of herself.

Starsky looked from the happy Terry to the glowing, serious Terry. He took a step back and covered his face with his hands. "What's going on?!" Starsky stumbled as electricity jolted through him but this time it hurt. He looked over to the smiling Terry. She held out her hand to him and he longed to go to her.

"Clear!" The doctor sent 400 volts through Starsky's dying body. He looked at the monitor. "Still v-fib. Hit him again, 400 watts."

Hutch clung to the wall as Starsky's body turned rigid then went limp. The doctor shouted out orders. The nurses quickly injected medicines. They watched the monitor as it went flat.

"Dave! Listen to me. You need to go back. It isn't your time."

Starsky watched as the smiling vision of Terry slowly faded from sight. He turned his attention to the one addressing him. "I don't understand."

The gleaming vision came closer, he shaded his eyes to protect them from the blinding light. "That other Terry was just a figment of your imagination. Everything you've seen has been all in your mind. Hutch is waiting for you."

Starsky pulled his hand away from his eyes. "Hutch?"

"He needs you," Terry's voice was no longer angry sounding and Starsky started to cry.

"He'll be okay. I want to stay here. I want to stay with you."

Terry shook her head slowly. "Not yet. If you don't go back, terrible things will happen."

"To Hutch?"

Terry nodded. "And to others. People need you."

Starsky stumbled as another jolting pain swept through him. "No, Terry. Please." Starsky looked longingly at the warm bright tunnel of light in front of him. He felt it beckoning him and somehow knew his pain would end there.

"In a few weeks, Hutch will try to stop a killer. You aren't there to back him up."

Starsky turned to face Terry again. "He can do it. He's a good cop."

Terry shook her head sadly. "He will be shot in the face."

"Oh my God. He dies?"

Terry's vision flickered briefly then grew strong again. "He is maimed and blinded. He can't work. He gives up on everything."

Starsky looked back at the tunnel of light. "You can change it. You can help him."

Again Terry shook her head slowly. "No, Dave. He needs you. Everyone needs you."

"You said you'd be by my side. You said when my world was falling apart, you'd be there with me." A sob caught in Starsky's throat.

"And I have been, Dave. I've been there as you pushed your best friend away. I've watched you give up on everything that made you happy."

Starsky suddenly felt ashamed. "You made me happy. I can't live without you." Starsky fell to the ground and writhed in agony, flashes of light popped in his brain. "Terry!"

"Go home, Dave."

"I don't want to leave you!" Starsky pushed himself to his feet, his knees weak with the effort.

"Doctor, it's been almost ten minutes," an intern said quietly.

Hutch's own knees buckled but he pulled himself back up and rushed to his best friend's side. "Don't give up on him. Don't give up on him yet!"

"Sergeant, please step aside!"

Hutch leaned onto Starsky's bed, hardly able to stand. "Starsky, please. Please, don't leave me. Please. FIGHT!" He turned back to the Dr. Bradshaw. "Keep trying. Just once more. Please."

Starsky looked around. Terry was gone. He looked back and couldn't see the smiling Terry either. Everything was dark. The light beam faded, flickered, then went out. He was alone in the woods. There was no sun in the sky, just a dim light on the horizon coming from the lake. He stumbled along the path until he reached the meadow. The deer were gone, there were no more birds singing. Nothing but silence and the sound of the water lapping against the side of the row boat.

Starsky cupped his hands around his mouth. "Hutch? Hutch where are you?" He stopped and listened and far in the distance he heard the word fight.

Starsky stepped into the row boat, grabbed the oars and pushed off from the shore. He rowed as hard as he could. The dim light faded and the gray mist enveloped him once again. He was cold, so cold.

"All right, step aside. 400 watts. Clear!"

Hutch moved away from the bed and watched as one more time, electricity was sent streaming through his partner. For a moment there was absolute silence then…a beep. Followed by another and another.

"Sinus rhythm, doctor," a nurse said in awe.

"I see it," Dr. Bradshaw said as he replaced the paddles on the cart.

On the lake the oars slipped out of Starsky's hands as he wrapped his arms around himself. He began to shiver. "I need you Hutch," he mumbled.

Hutch slowly made his way back to Starsky's side as the medical personnel moved away. He watched Starsky breathing in and out once again.

"He's not out of the woods yet," the doctor's voice came from beside him and Hutch nodded.

Hutch reached and pulled the blankets back up and tucked them under Starsky's chin. He slid his fingers into the brown curls and gently caressed Starsky's head. After a few minutes, Starsky's lids fluttered then opened. Hutch gasped and looked over at the doctor who looked on in amazement.

"Hutch," Starsky croaked out.

"Hi, Buddy," Hutch said, his face breaking into a grin.

"You okay?"

"Me? Of course I'm okay. I've got you back, don't I?"

"I'm sorry."

"You have nothing to be sorry for, Starsk."

Starsky nodded slowly. "Yes, I do. I gave up. I pushed you…"

Hutch took his hand from Starsky's head and placed it gently on his lips. "Don't say another word, Partner. We've got lots of time to talk about this." Starsky nodded and smiled. Hutch felt Starsky's hand moving under the blanket and reached in to grab hold of it. "Just don't go anywhere. Promise?"

"I promise," Starsky said as his eyes drifted shut.

Epilogue

Hutch grabbed a pencil and roughly erased the mistake on the report he was typing. Across the desk, his partner was drumming out something that may or may not have been Free Bird. His eyes closed and his lower lip caught in his teeth in concentration, Starsky was oblivious to the world.

Hutch continued to type but the drum solo was too distracting. He opened his mouth to say something but stopped and just smiled. He leaned back and thought about the last few weeks. Starsky was released from the hospital within a few days of waking up, his coma and recovery a mystery to the doctors. But more mysterious and wonderful to Hutch was that his best friend was back and with a vengeance. Hutch could barely keep up with Starsky who was out dancing in clubs, eating at his favorite restaurants and even dating again.

The Free Bird solo ended and Starsky dropped his two pencils on the desk. He looked around to find the entire squad room was sitting quietly, just watching him. Everyone had a grin on their face, even Dobey.

"What?" Starsky asked the room then looked over at his partner for the answer.

"Oh, nothing, Starsk. We all were just enjoying your rendition."

Starsky's mouth quirked up in a grin. "Pretty good, huh?"

Dobey gave a grunt, shook his head and went back into his office. Everyone else returned to their work. Hutch pulled the completed report from the typewriter dropped it in a bin and picked up his jacket. "Let's go, Partner."

"Right behind you." Starsky galloped down the stairs to Hutch's car. "Oh man, why do we have to take this hunk o' junk?"

"Get in," Hutch said with a laugh.

They cruised the streets for a few minutes. Hutch pulled onto the road that lead to the canal. Starsky rolled down his window and leaned out and, as always, reminded Hutch of a dog. "Look, ducks!" Starsky said. Hutch was sure if the man had a tail, it would be wagging right then. "Stop, Hutch."

"What? What for, Starsky?"

"I want to feed the ducks." Starsky leaned into the back and started to rummage through the trash in Hutch's backseat.

"We don't have anything to…" Hutch stopped as Starsky pulled a half-eaten sandwich from a paper bag. "Oh, yeah. That was lunch the other day."

"Your car is a disgrace," Starsky said as he hopped out the door and walked to the canal's edge. "Here ducky ducky."

Hutch chuckled and got out of the car to join his friend by the water. "Sure is a beautiful day, isn't it?"

"Sure is," Starsky replied as he broke off a piece of the stale bread and tossed it toward the ducks.

Hutch watched the glistening ripples on the water as they gently made their way to shore.

The End