I still don't own the Teen Titans.
This one-shot was based around My Immortal by Evanescence.
The next Titan to fall was Beast Boy. People called him Changeling by that time, but he would always be Beast Boy to me. No matter how tall he had gotten in the time I was away, he would always be shorter than me when I think of him. His face is still round with a hint of baby fat, his limbs are still awkwardly too long for his body, and he would still have that little tooth poking out from his bottom lip in my memory. I cannot associate the grown man in the casket with his square jaw and wrinkles with the boy who used to tell me awful jokes in an attempt to make me smile.
I wish I had given him that smile.
Beast Boy was always in my way. Yelling at the TV when I was reading, Asking me obnoxious questions while I was meditating.
Trying to pry open my door when I wanted to be left alone. I don't think he ever knew how much that meant to me, his constant attempts to get me to open up. It showed me that he cared, that just because I wanted to be alone didn't mean I had to or should be. While the other Titans would let me have my space, Beast Boy was always there to stick his large nose in my business.
He has called me creepy, and he's yelled at me for bumping into him.
But he also gave me a penny for good luck when he learned about my father and my fate. He reminded me that I don't have to do anything without one of my friends by my side. It was heart-wrenching when I realized he would never be at my side again.
He made me want to smile with his smile, and laugh with his laugh.
That is why it is so hard to look at this man and see one one of my best friends: he's not smiling anymore, and it breaks my heart. His smile was always permanent, and I'll never be able to see it again.
He was never able to sit still. It drove me insane, but now that I'm looking at him, as motionless as stone, it looks so wrong. He was always so vivacious, his emotions were almost painful to feel, like looking into the sun. Now that I can't feel them anymore, it feels like a part of me will always be cold.
Starfire wasn't able to attend his funeral. She said something about not being able to face any of the people there without breaking down. When did Starfire start caring about sharing her emotions? I missed so much of my friends lives that I look at the corpse in front of me and can barely recognize the person lying there. His skin is wrinkled, his eyes are hooded even in death, and he looks so thin lying in the satin lined bed.
But he is still Beast Boy. I can tell from the laugh lines around his eyes. The little tooth is still poking out from his lip. The elf-like ears that he was always so self-conscious about.
I wish I was there to see those lines take place on his face. I wish I had some laugh lines on mine.
I wish I still had that penny.