It's Not my fault Sam!
Men of letters bunker, pre-trials.
The Men Of Letters Bunker was really cool. Really, totally awesome. After spending most of his life on the road with seedy motels that most rats would turn their noses at, this was a real place to call home. And what a home it was! The Bat-cave had everything! Dean was pretty sure of that. Giant kitchen, endless halls, and enough books on the things that go bump in the night to keep even his nerd brother happy. Sam was happy here, and so was Dean.
Dean, who was catching up on shifter lore (apparently those bitches could live up to half a century!) decided he had enough and once he finished the book, he went back to the storage room where he found it. Thankfully, it was found in one of the closer storage rooms, among other shape-shifter items and lore. Putting the book back, Dean read a label off a jar of goo that proclaimed said goo to be shed shifter skin. Eww. Moving away from the jar of ick, Dean's eyes fell upon a small wooden box. He couldn't say what made him look at it, maybe because I was so plain. Everything in the bat-cave was so fancy, but this little wooden box looked like a pencil case made out of varnished plywood. Just at his eye level, Dean couldn't look away from this plain piece. Surprisingly, this thing had its own classification code, and was separate from other items.
He picked it up, it was pretty light. He rubbed his thumb over the dusty top to read the letters inscribed on the top. But then his stomach growled and reminded him that he hadn't eaten since breakfast and that was very wrong. Putting his stomach first, Dean pocketed the small box and headed to the kitchen. After making himself a very fine specimen of a sandwich with a liberal amount of potato chips and a cold soda on the side, he took his lunch to the main room. Only to remember that he and his brother left the table covered in old tomes and ancient books. Stifling a groan, he piled some books up and made space for himself to eat his lunch. He took a bite of his sandwich and sat down, feeling something long in his pocket. Oh yeah, the box. Taking another bite the older Winchester pulled it from his pocket. The ride in and out of his pocket took most of the dust off the box. He used the cuff of his sleeve to clean the last of the dust off the top. It looked like someone carved it in with a knife. MINUTUS. That's all it said. Turning it over there were no other words on it. There were two small hinges on one side but no lock. The Elder Winchester easily worked his fingernail under the other side. I popped open in two seconds. Whatever Dean was expecting to find, this wasn't it. Red satin lined the inside of the box and pulling away a layer of red silk showed the box's occupant to be a small silver statue about five inches long. It looked to be old as balls. There were faint etchings on the small obelisk that reminded Dean of ancient Roman and Greek art.
His curiosity got the better of him. The hunter picked up the small obelisk and turned it over in his fingers. Why would something like this be with the shifter stuff? Was it something kinky? That thought made Dean cringe and he moved to put it back in its box when the thing started to glow. First it was pretty dim but within mere seconds it was uncomfortably bright, Dean shut his eyes as the small statue was grew heaver in his hand. Dean dropped with a yelp and covered his eyes with his hands. In seconds, Dean couldn't see the bright light under his eyelids anymore and slowly drew his hands away from his face.
He immediately wished he hadn't. His legs now dangled from a gigantic height. He scrambled to stand up and gain his bearing. In front of him was a cliff, the bottom looked hard. He turned around to see a brown plain. He didn't recognize any of this! But then he looked up.
And saw the ceiling, and the table.
"Oh no." he groaned. Realizing what had happened.
"Shit. I've been shrunk." A loud THUNK from above made him jump. One of the books must have fallen off the pile, he realized. And then another noise started. A heavy, continues thumping.
In walked Brothersaurus. Dean's eyes widened trying to take in all of his baby brother. He was HUGE!
"Dean?" His mountainous brother called.
"I heard you yell, what's going on?" he looked for his currently absent brother.
"SAMMY!" Dean yelled, running to the middle of the seat and waving his arms.
"This so better not be a prank." Sam crossed his arms, unamused, looking around. Dean stopped his flailing and yelling. Sam couldn't hear him, he was too small!
Sam's eyes stopped at the table and a half-grin worked up the side of his mouth.
"You know the rule about leaving food, Dean." He said in a lower voice. Shit. His sandwich. They agreed that if food was left out in the open with no one claiming it before leaving, then it was up for grabs.
"Last warning Dean." His brother called before grabbing the chair Dean was still currently residing in. uh oh. He was gonna die under his brother's ginormous butt! Not the way he wanted to go. He sprinted for the back of the chair as his brother sat his large backside down in the chair. Dean was just fast enough that the butt touched down milliseconds before he reached the back of the chair. Lucky for him the chairs were wide enough that even his brother's mall-sized ass couldn't fill all of it. He had (to him) a good dozen feet between his brother's backside and the end of the chair, which had space between the back of the chair and the seat itself. He quickly prayed his brother wouldn't fart. He wasn't sure if he could survive that. He heard jumbo munching away at HIS sandwich! What he needed now was to get Sam's attention so they could fix whatever happened.
Dean took inventory. What did he have? He checked his pockets. One pocket knife, a few pieces of gum, spare change, two rubber bands, a pack of cheap matches, his cell phone, and a mini flask of holy water. He immediately went for the phone and pushed the speed dial for his brother's cell. Which never rang. Apparently when your phone is smaller than a fingernail, it can't pick up a signal. Dean cursed and put it and the other items back in his pocket. How could he get Sam's attention? Should he go for the leg? Walking around his brother's backside he encountered a long, big, jean clad leg. It was at tall as a house to Dean. If he climbed on top of a leg and stabbed his brother with the knife, he'd notice that! Just then Sam moved his gargantuan hand without looking down and idly scratched the leg opposite Dean. Dean swallowed thickly.
Nope. He did not want to die under his brothers fingers either. He had matches, should he set his shirt on fire? Another BAD idea. Which left only one other option. He craned his neck back to see his brother's shoulder. He let out a sigh and moved to his brother's backside. Luckily today Sam was warning a baggy flannel over shirt, which was easy enough for his miniaturized brother to find hand and footholds in.
As he climbed, Dean let out grumble after grumble.
"Why'dja have to get so big Sammy? Who died and made you Godzilla? King Kong's looking for a new girl, you're big enough to be his mate."
Three quarters up, Dean sat in a large fold of the shirt, catching his breath. He judged his current size was between one inch and two. He was smaller than the plaid on Shirt Mountain. He took a deep breath and grabbed a new handful of shirt. A good thing too. Because just then Sam shifted and Dean lost his foothold as his brother moved.
"Damn it Sam." He growled, pulling himself upward, closer to his brother's head.
Less than five minutes later Dean had made it to the peak of his brother's shoulder, very much out of breath. Sam was busy reading. It was usually pretty hard to distract him while he was immersed in a book. Once he caught his breath, he moved slowly over to his brother's ear, didn't want to make Sam swat him off. He stared at the giant ear and the ridiculously long hair covering it. The sight triggered a memory of a book he read over two decades ago. Once he made it to the collar of the shirt safely, he held on tightly and yelled.
"SAM!" the response was instantaneous.
"Dean?" Sam replied, confused. He sat up and looked to the left where he heard his brother's voice. His voice sounded small.
"STOP MOVING!" Dean nearly screeched, almost losing his grip on the collar from the sudden movement. Sam tensed and froze. His eyes moved around, searching for the older Winchester.
"Sam, this is very important. I found a weird little thing, and it shrunk me." Sam relaxed slightly. And his shoulders moved once in a laugh.
"Shrunk you?" Dean could hear the smile in his voice.
"Stop moving! Yes, shrunk me."
"Where are you?" Sam asked softly. Dean appreciated it. His brother's voice was very loud to his little ears.
"On your left shoulder by the collar." Was the begrudging answer. The younger hunter leaned gently to his right to get a better look.
"I said stop moving! Look, bring your hand up flat to your shoulder, I'll walk on."
"Ok." Slowly, Sam brought his right hand to his shoulder. He didn't know why he was surprised when he felt something small move onto his hand. Slowly he moved his hand in front of his face.
"Holy shit." The tiny Dean on his palm raised his hands and let them drop to his side in a gesture of "I know. Shit happens to me."
He blinked, and then lifted his other hand to poke his little-big brother.
"Hey!" the Tiny Dean almost squeaked, swatting the large digit.
"Stop that!"
"Sorry." answered an amused Sam who was not sorry at all.
"You're just so-"
"Say cute and I'll kick your ass." His mini brother threatened only realizing that there was no actual threat being it as he was under three inches tall.
"Small." Sam finished, watching his brother slump in his palm, exhausted.
"What happened?"
"I found this small box, brought it here to examine, found a statue inside, picked up the statue, and boom, tiny town." He said stretching his legs out in front of himself.
"What small box?" Sam asked looking over the table. Dean stood up and held on to the webbing between Sam's thumb and pointer as he looked down at the Table below. The books were all over. He looked back up at his younger brother's giant face.
"Some books must have fallen on it. Be extra careful Sammy. Don't touch it!"
"Trust me, I won't." he moved both his hands to the table, and then brought them back, making Dean loose his balance and fall over.
"What's the matter?" Dean questioned, folding his legs Indian style. Sam looked slightly uncomfortable and he glanced at his small brother and other places.
"If…if I'm moving stuff around, I need two hands. Where do I put you?"
Hmm. Sam did have a point. He couldn't be on the table with stuff moving around. The shoulder was too big and unstable, and no way in hell was he going in a pocket!
"Bring me over to your ear!" Dean said a few moments later.
"Why?"
"Just do it." Sam frowned slightly but did as his brother requested. He moved his hand to his left ear. Dean moved some hair out of the way before looking at his brother's ear. It was bigger than he was and that was more than a little unsettling.
"Can you hear me now?" Dean asked softly.
"Yes." Was the reply.
"good." He said before climbing the back of the ear.
"Dean, what-" Dean draped his torso over the top of the skin that attached the ear to the head. His legs over the outer shell of the ear. He propped his head on his elbows.
"Still hearin me Sammy?"
"Dean, what are you doing?" Sam asked slightly confused and a little uncomfortable about the fact that his brother was behind his ear.
"Remember that book we found in a motel room when I was eleven? It was about a giant and a little orphan girl, and dreams in England." Sam blinked at the memory.
"Yeah I remem-oh." he remembered in the story how the girl traveled behind the giant's huge ear. Dean had made a little Sam scream with laughter about traveling by ear.
"So you're gonna travel by ear?" asked Sam not hiding his smile.
"Yup."
"Is it comfy?" Dean looked around at his new perch. He could see everything in front of him through Sam's long hair.
"It's warm and I'm good. Thumbs up on the hygiene little brother, it's clean."
Sam started looking for the statue. Lifting the tops of books and moving them to the floor or chair. Dean found it was easy to hold on while his brother moved. His was definitely better than the was a little hard for the small Winchester to see the table, the books looked a little blurry because they were so far away to the miniature hunter.
A lock of hair moved in front of Sam's face and the younger Winchester moved to tuck it behind his ear as usual. Dean kicked his foot hard against the outside of Sam's ear.
"Don't even think about it." He warned.
"Sorry." Said Sam, letting the hair fall back. He had momentarily forgotten where his brother was currently residing. It wasn't long after that that Sam pulled a book away to find the small obelisk and its case.
"The case isn't cursed, is it?"
"Nah, I held it for a while, nothing happened." Sam picked up the box, confused at the cheap exterior and the expensive interior.
"That's what got me curious too. Curse boxes are usually much nicer than that. And much harder to get into too."
"The Men Of Letters hideout is a pretty hard place to get into, Dean."
Dean had no reply for that. Sam carefully used two smaller books to deposit the statue in its case.
"Where did you find it?"
"In one of the nearby storage rooms, near the shifter lore."
"I guess you now know why it was by shape-shifter stuff. It definitely changed your shape."
"Ha-ha." Dean deadpanned, pulling on some looser skin over the ear for a better grip. He wasn't sure if Sam had felt it or not.
"I know where that room is." The younger Winchester proclaimed while moving the chair back and standing up.
"Whoa!" Dean scrambled for a better hold, not expecting his brother to stand up.
"You alright?" Sam quickly cupped his hand over his ear.
"Just fine. Next time give a guy some warning." Dean shifted, now sitting on the area his torso was draped over before. It was easier to hold the loose skin over the ear. Sam slowly took his had away from his ear.
"You sure you want to stay there?" Sam asked, a little amused at how his brother is so comfortable with this odd situation. Dean patted his brother's head.
"I'm fine Sammy. Onwards! Giddyup!" he drummed his shoes to his brother's ear.
"I'm not a horse." He grumbled. But still here was a smile on his face as he walked to the storage room. Dean could feel his brother's steps underneath him. It felt weird. Not bad, but weird. Nothing like driving his baby, or even a horse.
Sam walked slowly and gently, there had to a better way for his brother to travel with him than by ear. Dean would probably kill him in his sleep if he suggested his pocket. His brother directed him to where he found the box. There was dust and a clean spot where the box had been. Sam ran his finger over the little plaque proclaiming the item to be R-397. They went back to the main room and the master file cabinets. Sam found the file easily and read it out loud.
"Item R-397, Ancient Roman obelisk, five inches long. Date created-unknown. The pictures depict the goddess Vespa, keeper of the hearth and the goddess of the home. This item has the ability to shrink a person to anywhere between three quarters of an inch and one inch and a quarter depending on the size of the person. The item was used to keep men at home, hidden from being enlisted in the army. The effect is temporary, lasting anywhere from forty eight to seventy two hours, with no ill effects on the person. Item does not work on other items, or non-humans. DO NOT TOUCH!"
"That's it?" asked dean. Sam flipped through the other pages in the file.
"Yeah. The rest is just the history of the item, where it was found, and who had it before the Men Of Letters got their hands on it."
"You would think that they would put the do not touch first." Dean pointed out, even though it was in a larger print and circled in red.
Sam chuckled and put away the file as Dean's stomach let out another growl.
"What was that?"
"My stomach Sammy, that was my lunch you ate." Sam winced.
"Sorry." Dean patted the side of his brother's head in understanding.
"Rules are rules. I wasn't there, you went for it." His stomach again growled unhappily. He clutched his sad belly with an arm.
"Let's get you something from the kitchen." Sam suggested as he walked off, swallowing the laugh in his throat.
Dean bounced on his big-little brother's ear.
"Hi-Yo Silvah! AWAY!" if it was this easy to keep Dean this happy while he was small, Sam would make no comments about being a horse. Dean had to run out references sometime, right?