Rated: T for now

Summary: Another Alternative Universe after Bill and Laura spend the night together on New Caprica

Disclaimer: Battlestar Galactica and its characters don't belong to me. I make no money from this work of fiction.

A/N: Thank you to Laura Mayfair and her cat who proofread the story. And thank you to all who reviewed the story along the way.

A/N2: Since it's the final chapter it's a bit longer than the others

Zagreus

Part 9

Galactica

Day 333 of the second Exodus

Laura smiled as she leisurely woke up. She recognized the smell and the pillow right away. Bill's quarters. She was a bad girl, she thought lazily, without opening her eyes. A thousands things required her attention and here she was, napping on the Admiral's rack. She had a very good excuse but it still felt decadent, a real luxury she shouldn't have taken. Finally the guilt surpassed the laziness and she opened her eyes with a sigh. In the dim light, she could see Bill's back at his desk. She allowed herself to stay still for a few moments before getting up and joining him.

"Hey," she said as she put a hand on his shoulder. "You should have woken me when you got back."

"Hey. I figured that if you were tired enough to hijack my rack without even asking, you probably needed the sleep."

"You need your sleep too. What time is it anyway?"

"0100. And you don't have to worry: I made some arrangement with Tory for Zagreus."

"Thank you."

She sat across the desk as he started to work again. She watched him for a few minutes before taking out her own paperwork. They read in silence for about half an hour when Laura started to talk without taking her eyes of the report in her hand.

"We are probably back on track to find Earth."

"Yes we are. At least Gaeta is confident about it."

"We're not quite there yet, but you'll find it."

"We will find it, Laura. I haven't given up hope."

"Neither have I, Bill. But I won't live long enough to see it."

She wasn't reading the report anymore but still kept it in front of her face, unwilling to reveal any vulnerability before Bill understood what she was trying to tell him. He obviously had other plans because he gently took the paper out of her hand and put it on the desk between them.

"Don't be ridiculous. What are you talking about?"

Laura swallowed uneasily.

"I had an appointment with Cottle today. As it turns out, your son and Baltar are not the sole reason I'm tired all the time."

"You have to say it plainly," he said after a few seconds. "I won't accept it otherwise."

"My cancer is back. I'm dying again."

"Surely you've caught it early enough this time. You can fight it, can't you?"

"I don't intend to."

"What?"

"I obviously need to die for the fleet to be allowed to reach salvation."

"Is that more of you religious crap?"

His face was hard. She couldn't blame him for being angry: she was leaving him alone again. She sighed softly.

"I can see right through you. You might not believe in the Gods but you don't consider it crap. You came with me in the Tomb of Athena."

"I still don't think you ought to give up and let yourself die."

"I am not giving up."

"Then fight! What is Cottle's plan?"

"Chamalla. Just like last time."

"So you'll start having visions again… and for all the good it did you… Isn't Diloxan a better course of action?"

"It might be. I just don't want it."

"Could it help?"

"Perhaps. But I've seen my mother endure that. I can't do it on my own."

"You wouldn't be. You could stay here for your treatment."

"It's not just an infusion. It's several infusions in sickbay, then it's hours of headaches, nausea, muscle spasms. Then let's not forget depression, restlessness, apathy, and my personal favourite bitchiness."

"As if I wasn't used to your bitchiness. You can stay here as long as you need. As long as you want."

His face was open and she could see the honesty in his eyes. Maybe accepting treatments wouldn't be breaking the Gods' rules… maybe it was only bending them a little. And it was probably worth living with him for a while. For the rest of her life actually since she was sure the cancer would kill her anyway. He was still looking at her expectantly. She smiled fondly.

"All right. If you are sure you can deal with my letting Cottle slowly poison my blood, I'll schedule Diloxan treatment with him for the day after my testimony in Baltar's trial.

"Really?"

"You seem surprised."

"I wasn't expecting you to accept so easily."

"I'm glad to see I can still surprise you, Admiral.

She smiled coyly before picking up her report again. She knew perfectly she would spend her first treatment regretting her decision and hating herself. Bill still hadn't gone back to work. Laura allowed him a few minutes before looking up at him.

"Is there anything else?"

"Is that why you came here tonight?"

"Yes. It seemed impossible not to tell you. I suddenly couldn't bear the thought of you not knowing my time was once again limited."

She could see in his eyes that he wanted to reprimand her choice of words but he restrained himself. He also seemed moved by her answer, which moved her in return. She slightly changed the subject.

"We'll have to find a more permanent solution for Zagreus."

It was a concern she hadn't expected to have. She still had trouble considering him as her son but was warming up to him in much the same way she would with any child put in her care. It surprised the Admiral as well.

"He's coming here with you of course. We have a day-care on this ship too."

"I know. He's been there before. What I meant was for after I'm…"

"Don't. You are not going to die."

Laura sighed but didn't contradict him. She had been in his shoes before. He would need to go through the different stage of grief on his own. Denial was sweet in its own way. It hurt in the end but it felt good while it lasted.

"We should get some sleep. You can have your rack back, I don't mind the couch."

"Nonsense. Come with me."

She put her glasses, pen et report down on the desk on the desk and rose to follow him toward the rack. She watched as he took off his shoes, lay down next to the bulkhead and held out his hand. She smiled and climbed beside him, putting her cheek on his shoulder.

"Do you realize how this will look like to the private bringing you your coffee tomorrow morning?" She chuckled teasingly.

"I don't care."

"What if I care?"

"Sleep."

"Yes sir."

)-oO,o.

Galactica

Day 342 of the second Exodus

Laura really hadn't missed the Chamalla induced visions. Especially the one involving cylons. It was also the first time that the cylons shared the vision. With Hera safely in sickbay, Athena and Laura were coming back from their visit to the holding cell after their chat with the six.

"I heard about your cancer coming back. Are you going to demand blood from my daughter again?"

"No. I didn't demand it the first time either."

"Right, you just took it."

"You may not know this but I wasn't even part of the decision. I wasn't even conscious at the time. I am not going to force you into doing anything for me."

"So you are going to ask for it."

"No."

"We won't offer it to you."

"That's good, because I wouldn't accept it."

"Even if it might save your life?"

"Especially since it might save my life. 'A dying leader will lead them all to salvation'. I am not much use to anybody if I am not dying."

Laura stopped as they were nearing sickbay and turned toward Sharon. She waited for the young woman to look at her before speaking.

"I know you don't like me, and I can't really blame you, but you have to know that my only purpose is finding a place for my people to live. I am grateful to Hera for saving my life and I honestly thought I was doing what was best for her when I took her away from you. If what happened in the Opera House does actually occur in reality, I will do whatever I can to change the outcome and keep your daughter safe. I won't do it because of what she can bring to me personally but because I care for the girl. Good day, Lieutenant."

Before the Cylon pilot could answer, Laura turned quickly and went back to the room where the trial was held.

)-oO,o.

Galactica

Day 343 of the second Exodus

When her cancer had returned, Laura had always assumed it would kill her. It did make sense. But nowhere in the scripture was it said that the dying leader would succumb to her wasting disease. A demon – Cylon – bullet would work just fine. It would be a shame for Bill's carpet: blood didn't come off that easily, but at least Laura would die somewhere homey and comfortable. Laura was feeling way too bad from her diloxan treatment to deal with Kara Thrace – or whatever that thing that thought to be Kara Thrace was.

On the other hand maybe it would resolve the situation for once and for all. She was tired; she was feeling like crap and living with both the Admiral and their son was proving to be painful. If that was all that was left to her life then she wouldn't mind dying now that she could still walk, eat and dress on her own. It was quite vain of her but it would also mean that she would get to cross over with a headful of hair: she hadn't been looking forward to the hair loss.

"Shoot me."

Laura wasn't expecting that. This side of the gun was actually more frightening. Killing in cold blood she could do – had done it before, really. But it had been using the airlock, and it had never been her finger on the trigger or the red button. She had never handled a weapon. Not on Caprica before the fall, not on Colonial One when civil war had threatened, not on Galactica when the Centurion had boarded, not on Kobol when Cylons didn't want her finding earth and not even on New Caprica when she was co-leading the resistance. Oh, she knew the theory and the captain had apparently readied the weapon for her.

She could use it, but should she use it? She might be able to think a little more clearly if the… Kara for a lack of better determination wasn't shouting at her. If she could just shut up… If Laura killed Kara, Bill would not forgive her, it would cause another split and that was exactly what the Cylons were counting on. Having a model killed was nothing to them… Should she shoot?

"Shoot me! If I'm a cylon, shoot me!"

There was the answer then. Laura said something about her being perfect before picking up the gun and pressing the trigger in a singular move. The sound and the recoil shook her and made her close her eyes. She opened them right away but she was still haggard. The girl fell down shouting.

"Let go of me?"

It didn't really make sense since she wasn't holding her. Although the people that had burst into the door were. Tigh took the gun out of her hand and Bill asked if she was all right. She stared silently at him while Kara was still shouting in the background. Laura guessed she had missed her, which wasn't that surprising considering her blurry state of mind.

After the marines and the XO had taken her away and the door had closed on the Admiral's quarters, Bill turned to look her over without a word. She was still unstable after her treatment though and turned back to the rack, probably because he was done with his survey of her health. She lay back and put the cloth back on her eyes.

"What was that about?"

The President sighed deeply when she realized that her new roommate had followed her. Now that he had reassured himself that she was safe and sound he seemed to want to have it out with her. Well, Laura was in no mood to indulge the Admiral. Even if it hadn't been her first time believing herself about to die, it wasn't a pleasant experience and she felt she deserved if not being taken care of, at least being left alone.

"Can we deal with that later? I know we'll have to address the situation but I can't really think strait right now."

"Yes, of course." Bill seemed to suddenly remember why the President was sharing his personal quarters. "Can I get you anything?"

More than two and a half years before, she had joked that she could do with a new body. She had been days away from death then, and yet she had been feeling better than the way she was feeling now. Was time worth the fact that she wasn't even in the mood to banter with the closest person she had left? She groaned, unsure whether it was from the pain or her displeasure with her own thoughts.

"Laura? Are you all right?"

Biting back the snide comment that had first came to her mind; she smiled tiredly but didn't uncover her eyes.

"Yes, I'm fine. Just make sure that anything Tory sends over is on your desk with the rest of my paperwork. I'll deal with it later tonight."

"Very well."

)-oO,o.

Galactica

Day 528 of the second Exodus

Laura kept sobbing in Bill's shoulder as he led her back to their quarters. She had really thought she had lost him during the mutiny and although it had only strengthened her resolve at the time, now that the adrenaline had run out, seeing him had broken her. No matter what happened, there would be no happily ever after for them. Even if their dream came true and they found a habitable planet that wasn't a nuclear wasteland, she would still die. She should already be dead and if it hadn't been for Bill, she would be.

The intense despair she had felt earlier that day was what he would experience in a few weeks, a few months if they were lucky. She could only hope his family would be there for him. His son… She gasped.

"Where is our son?"

Bill stopped walking and tightened his hold on her.

"Can we talk about that in our quarters?"

"No. Is he alright? What happened?"

She moved out of his embrace to look at him in the eyes. His face was hard, like steel.

"He escaped day-care at some point during the mutiny and apparently got hit by some cross-fire."

Laura frowned. It didn't make sense.

"No. It's not possible: Zarek would have used it to try and manipulate me, just like he used you. It must be some other boy."

"It's not, Laura. Zarek probably didn't even know. And with your indifferent attitude toward Zagreus, Zarek wouldn't have cared."

"My indifferent… Are you saying that it is my fault he died?"

"No. And if he hadn't left day-care in the confusion, it would have saved him. No one looked for him or actually intended to kill him. Corporal Venner found him afterwards and came to me."

Laura swallowed and tucked herself back into his side.

"Bill, take me home. I need… Just take me home."

He nodded without a word and started walking again, slowly, to accommodate her shaky legs and drained strength. Once inside he situated her on the couch and offered her something to drink. She shook her head and patted the sofa next to her. He sat heavily and unbuttoned his uniform. Laura looked at him.

"I am so sorry, Bill. I know you cared a great deal about him."

The old Admiral seemed taken aback.

"Of course I cared about him! Didn't you?"

"I did, but it's not the same. I will see him soon on the other side. And when I eventually leave you, you won't have him to remember me by."

"Why would you leave me? Are you planning a vacation?"

"Apollo said the exact same thing the first time I told him."

"I don't need anything to remember you by. But I will miss him."

"I already do. But I'm used to that."

She could tell by his face that he didn't understand her point. Yes she was used to missing people; by now they all were. But it wasn't what she meant.

"He was a ghost to me: he had already died. Unlike Kara who is so like herself that the fact we thought her dead only seems to be a nightmare now, Zagreus is nothing like I imagined. I mourned him long ago. And that little boy… I never really realized he was more than a figment of my imagination. On the other hand I would have expected a more violent reaction from you."

There was no answer and although his expression didn't show incomprehension anymore, it was still weary.

"Bill? Talk to me."

"That reaction happened before your raptor came back."

"I see. I'm so sorry for your loss."

He got up and held out a hand to her. She took it so she could get up and followed him to his rack. He watched her as she carefully undressed herself and put on her nightwear. It was still mid-afternoon but she was more than ready for the day to be over and the day's events had left her exhausted. He tucked her under the blanket and kissed her lips softly as she closed her eyes; she didn't open them when he left.

She wouldn't have supper ready, she thought as their morning banter came back to her mind. She hadn't rested and wouldn't have supper ready but it didn't matter because he wouldn't be home. He would be killing men. Executing them, really. They deserved it, she guessed, and if she wasn't so tired she would have gone, too. But she could barely stay awake. She could sleep now, and she wouldn't have to wake up in a few hours: There was no-one to pick-up from day-care anymore.

)-oO,o.

A/N: Hated it, loved it? I'd really like to know

A/N2: Well this is the end. I might or might not write drabbles in the same universe but I'll post them separately if I do. I might (but nothing is less sure) rewrite the story from Bill point of view. By the way, I'm proud to announce that it's my first completed fanfiction over 20,000 words.