I do not own One Piece or Teen Titans. Each belongs to their respective owners.

It was once said by Usopp that Luffy had the twisted desire to do exactly the opposite of what he was told. In more serious situation, it could lead to issues such as the crew running for their lives from a fists-a-zapping logia with a god complex.

Luckily, this was not one of those situations.

Earlier that morning, Sanji had made a large plate of gingersnaps for the girls' afternoon tea. He had been about to hide them (knowing some members of his crew wouldn't appreciate the trouble he went to to make them for his angels), when he heard Nami calling for him, asking if he'd like to come shopping with her and Robin and help carry their bags.

It doesn't take a genius to figure out what his answer was.

So instead of hiding the gingersnaps, the blond cook simply set the plate on the counter, tossed a "Do Not Touch" sign by the plate, and took off from the galley. It was precisely ten minutes after he left the Sunny with the girls did a certain rubbery captain enter the galley.

"Sanji!" Luffy called out. "I'm hungry! Make me some meat!"

Luffy looked around the empty galley. Huh, that was weird. Sanji was usually in here around this time, making lunch preparations. Where could he be?

And that was when he saw the cookies.

"Alright, Sanji made gingersnaps!" Luffy exclaimed happily. "It's not meat, but these are good too!"

He was about reach for one when noticed the sign:

DO NOT TOUCH. LUFFY, THIS MEANS YOU. STAY AWAY OR ELSE.

Despite popular belief, Luffy did know how to read. He also knew that when Sanji said 'or else', he could back it up. Still, those cookies looked so tasty...

"Don't even think about it!"

Luffy stopped in mid-reach. "Chopper?"

He hadn't heard anyone come in. He scanned the room, but he was still the only one in there. Where had Chopper's voice come from?

"Over here, by your shoulder."

Luffy turned his head to look at his right shoulder, and his eyes widened. Floating over his shoulder was a very tiny Chopper, who was wearing a white hat and shorts, a halo over his head, and a pair of little wings.

"The sign says do not touch!" Little Chopper scolded him. "Sanji worked hard on those gingersnaps! You can't take any without permission!"

Luffy stared at the mini-reindeer for a few moments before completely freaking out.

"Oh no, Chopper, you're all tiny!" He glanced at the wings and halo before wailing, "And you're dead!"*

Little Chopper waved his hooves frantically. "Whoa whoa, calm down! I'm not dead, Luffy!"

"But you have wings and a halo-"

"Don't be silly! I'm not even actually Chopper! I'm simply a mental manifestation of your conscience that happens to look like Chopper!"

Luffy stopped panicking and raised an eyebrow. "My what?"

"Your conscience," Angel Chopper repeated. "I'm the little voice in your head that tells you not to do anything wrong, immoral, or stupid."

Luffy crossed his arms. "Oh? How come I've never heard from you before?"

"Ace always told you to ignore me, especially after you two and Sabo pulled a dine-and-dash."

"Oh yeah. I guess that makes sense."

Angel Chopper nodded. "Good, I'm glad to see you understand. Now, do not touch those cookies! Sanji made those for the girls, not you!"

Luffy frowned. "Well yeah, but-"

"Don't listen to choir boy over there. Have a gingersnap."

Luffy looked away from Angel Chopper to look at his left shoulder, and at the source of the new voice. Floating there was a tiny Zoro, sitting in the air cross-legged. He was wearing a red open jacket, red trousers tucked into red boots, and a red haramaki. Sticking out of his green hair were a pair of red devil horns, and he also had a forked tail. Slipped through his haramaki were three pitchforks.

"Oh, hi tiny Zoro!" Luffy greeted. "Are you part of my conscience too?"

Devil Zoro shrugged. "Eh, sort of. Unlike Chopper, I'm here to tell you to do whatever the heck you want. The love cook was stupid enough just to leave the cookies lying out, so why not just have a few?"

"Zoro?!" Angel Chopper gasped. "Why are you representing Luffy's selfish wants? Zoro usually tries to steer Luffy straight!"

Devil Zoro smirked. "Normally, yes. However, this will piss off the dartboard in the long run, so I'm all for it."

"Listen to me, Luffy! Don't eat those cookies! You don't have permission!"

"Since when does the captain need permission from the cook?"

"Sanji spent all morning baking those!"

"Curlybrow likes to bake; he can just make more!"

Luffy groaned. This constant bickering was giving him a headache, and it only got worse as others joined the party.

"You touch those gingersnaps, and I'm adding 50 thousand to your debt!" Angel Nami barked.

"Go ahead, Luffy. This is payback for all those times Sanji kicked you in the head!" Devil Usopp reasoned.

"Those cookies are for Nami-swan and Robin-chwan!" Angel Sanji declared. "Not for rubber-brained morons!"

"I don't mind if you have few gingersnaps, Captain," Devil Robin admitted. "Mr. Cook made plenty."

"Taking things that aren't yours isn't SUPER, Straw Hat!" Angel Franky announced with his usual pose.

"Those gingersnaps look like they'd taste delicious, Luffy-san!" Devil Brook noted. "Not that I have a tongue anymore to taste with! Yohohoho!"

This led to a full-blown argument between the two sides, with Luffy's poor head right in the middle. Luffy moaned. Why couldn't both sides just agree on something and leave him out of it?

(He seemed to have forgotten that his tiny crew were figments of his imagination, but whatever.)

The fighting continued, until one new voice jumped in.

"Hey guys! What are you all doing?"

The Angels and the Devils gaped in shock, for sitting on Luffy's right shoulder was a tiny Luffy himself. Tiny Luffy was dressed in his normal vest, short, arm band, and straw hat.

The tiny Straw Hats stared at their tiny captain, as did the real Luffy.

Tiny Luffy looked from side to side, before saying, "Why are we all sitting on my shoulders?"

"Okay, this doesn't even make sense!" Angel Nami shouted.

"Since when does anything on this crew make sense?" Devil Usopp pointed out.

It was then Tiny Luffy noticed the plate of gingersnaps. "Oh boy, cookies!"

Tiny Luffy jumped from real Luffy's shoulder into the pile of cookies, and enthusiastically began stuffing his face.

Real Luffy shrugged. "Well, I guess that decides that!" He reached down and began eating the cookies as well.

The Angels groaned and the Devils cheered. Yet another victory for Luffy's selfish wants.

After all, since when has Luffy has ever gone against his twisted desire to do the exact opposite of what he was told?

* I got this joke from a recent Powerpuff Girls special I watched.