Just as Nancy was about to leave, however, Nurse Ratchett walked in and briskly shut the door. "So, how is he doing?" she asked with a too-wide smile.

"Better yet, how are you doing?" Nancy sneered, and then felt sheepish. That hadn't made any sense.

A flicker of uncertainty crossed the nurse's face, and then disappeared. "Fine, thank you. Has he, uh…communicated to you?" Ratchett covered her mouth with her hands, and the sound emitted was half-cough, half-guffaw.

Nancy's mouth tightened. "You should know exactly what happened, Jan," she responded confidently. "You orchestrated this whole thing."

"Yes, of course," Ratchett retorted without batting an eyelash. "I let you in a few minutes ago."

"No, not that. You are behind all of this—you stole the microfilm for your smuggling ring, just like you tried to steal the Titanic menu!" Nancy accused, jabbing her finger in the nurse's general direction.

"I did not," Jan responded, and winced. She should have said, "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Yes, you did. See, normally Joe falls in love with women who have a missing father scientist. But when 'Malindaleebeth'"—Nancy did exaggerated air quotes—"asked for help to find her missing parent, it opened up all kinds of possibilities. By the way, it must be handy to have an on-call plastic surgeon on staff."

Jan looked peeved, but decided to admit everything, since she figured that these three would be dead soon anyway. "How did you know?" she asked.

"The maid's name was Jan, and then your daughter's name is Jane. It was just too much of a coincidence."

Jan blinked. "What? That's it?"

"And also because there are absolutely no visiting hours posted for the ICU on the hospital floors, websites, or staff lounges," Nancy finished. "So why would a nurse withhold loved ones from a wounded man? This was the only possible explanation."

Jan nodded thoughtfully. "One final question."

"Anything," Nancy said proudly.

"Why would you choose to confront me from an enclosed space, with no witnesses, when I am blocking access to your only exit?"

Pause.

Joe grabbed a bedpan and lobbed it at Jan's face. Jan took a baseball swing with Frank's IV and sent the bedpan clattering to the far corner. "Home run," she said.

Nancy squealed, looking at Frank in panic, but knew that she could not let Jan know how precious Frank was to her. Fortunately, Frank's IVs stayed in. He mostly looked confused.

Meanwhile, Joe threw a book, medication, the lunch tray, and a vase of flowers at Jan, but she ducked effortlessly. "Say goodbye," she said with a malicious smile, approaching Frank with a scalpel.

"No, she's the enemy, ma'am," Frank said politely, pointing to his girlfriend.

"Exactly—finish her off, dear," Jan said pleasantly, handing him the scalpel.

A monsoon of indignation crashed over Nancy, and she did a quick roundhouse kick, sending the scalpel flying out of Jan's hands. "You will not pit him against me," Nancy growled venomously.

"Oh, so it's him you care about?" Jan asked innocently. She grabbed a needle and raised it above her head like a dagger.

Nancy executed swift evasive maneuvers, pushing and pulling Frank's stretcher to stay one step ahead of Jan. Joe tried to sneak around to the back. Jan pushed Joe in the closet and locked it, ignoring his protests.

"You and me now, Ms. Drew," Jan hissing, taking another step forward. She frothed at the mouth. "Maybe I'll keep your boyfriend around. He is on my side, after all."

Anger blinded Nancy momentarily. "Face me yourself, Witch," she snapped.

Jan shrugged. "Very well." She uncapped seven hypodermic needles and threw them at Nancy at the same time.

Nancy saw them approaching in slow motion and jumped backwards out of the open window, shooting her all-purpose weapon/explosive/magnifying glass/rope/scissors/wooden spoon/pen, which, fortunately for her, was on the rope setting. The rope and tiny grappling hook sailed back into the hospital room and snagged on the radiator. Nancy let out an "oof" as she jerked to a sudden stop and swung back toward the side of the hospital building, her heels clicking upon impact.

"Isn't this a nice turn of events," Jan said smugly, leaning her head out the window. "Hey, thanks for the props, love!" she called to Joe, picking up the assorted items that he had thrown at her. "A book…" she chucked it down at Nancy, who walked across the wall and away from it. Jan took her time retrieving the scalpel, and made a small cut in Nancy's rope. "Come get your meds, little girl!" she cackled, and opened the bottle directly above Nancy. Nancy swallowed one by accident. Jan made another cut.

"A bedpan…too bad it's not used…" Nancy flicked it aside with a hand, but winced, as it had banged two fingers on the way down. One more cut of the rope. "What's for lunch?" Jan asked, and poured nasty pea soup on Nancy's head before making a fourth swipe on the rope with her scalpel. Nancy saw the frayed ends of the rope beginning to unravel, and knew that she was too heavy to be supported much longer. "And, my personal favorite…some roses. Just what I myself will be buying him shortly." Jan dumped out the roses triumphantly, and Nancy caught two in her teeth.

"I'll take that, thanks." Nancy's heart skipped two beats at this beloved voice that she heard behind Jan's head, followed by a terrific crash as Frank cracked the vase against Jan's skull. Jan shouted, holding her bleeding head, and Nancy pulled one rose out of her teeth by the flower head, flinging it upward at Jan. The thorns made contact, sinking into already bruised flesh. Jan yelled and tried to disentangle it, causing the thorn pricks to bleed more.

With the fighting moving away from the window, Nancy ignored her racing heart and gingerly climbed back up, entering the room just in time to see Jan's unconscious figure slowly rotating beneath the light fixture. Frank had overpowered her, knocking her out and handcuffing her back belt loops to the overhead light. He held the microfilm in his right hand.

For once, Nancy didn't care about the perpetrator. Or the motive. Or the evidence, or witnesses, or what secret conspiratorial group they belonged to. She was struck dumb by the sight of the man she loved, and wondered why her legs and knees could no longer support their weight.

Frank gazed at her, his eyes openly appraising her from top to bottom. "And she does it all with a rose in her mouth," he said, his eyes crinkling fondly.

Nancy remembered, and handed it to him with a shy smile. "My lips have better things to hold onto now," she said, and melted into Frank's arms. She felt him sigh, and noticed how perfectly snugly they fit together.

"I realized you couldn't have been the enemy." Frank nuzzled her soup-drenched hair. "My lifetime of good memories overpowered my few hours of brainwashing last night."

Nancy squeezed him tighter. "Oh, you flatter me," she said.

Frank pulled her away, holding her by the elbows. He kissed her two bruised fingers, searching her face intently. "You told Ned."

"Yes," Nancy said with a gentle, relieved smile. "I thought I would need some Rocky Road this morning, but now I know what I really need."

"So we're really…after all these years…" Frank trailed off.

Nancy frowned good-humoredly. "Are you thinking that the chase might have been more fun than the catch?"

Frank squinted, and a corner of his mouth lifted. "Not at all. But please, prove that statement wrong anyway." He leaned in and delivered their first long, maddening kiss.

"I thought of a name for this case," Frank said, smiling.

"What?" she asked, amused.

"The Mystery of Why We Didn't Do This a Long Time Ago."

"Guys!" Frank and Nancy whirled toward the closet, and Nancy quickly rushed to unlock the door. Joe walked out, just in time to be utterly useless to anyone but still ruin the romantic ending. "I almost got her," he sulked. Then he looked a little closer at his brother and his friend. "Hey, have you guys been kissing?" he asked suspiciously.

Frank wiped away the glow-in-the-dark lipstick. "No," he said.

"Oh." Joe looked slightly disappointed. "Because maybe…well, maybe if Malindaleebeth was just brainwashed by her mother then the four of us could, you know—"

"No," Frank and Nancy said at the same time. "You have to find her and put her in jail, too, Joe," Nancy said impatiently. "And hey—we forgot about Chet!"

"What about me?" a muffled voice called in a daze. Frank and Nancy looked around, and their eyes settled on the same closet that Joe had emerged from.

"I will not eat," Chet said in a monotone, emerging. "I will not eat."

Frank arched an eyebrow at Joe. "Seven minutes in heaven?"

"You could have gotten me out of there earlier," Joe said defensively. "He must have kept asking his captors for food until they brainwashed him."

Nancy rolled her eyes and turned back to Frank, beaming at him and brushing a stray lock of hair away from his face. "You know, that Rocky Road doesn't sound so bad after all," she said thoughtfully.

"Really, Ms. Drew?" Frank asked mischievously.

"Yes. Rocky Road, some Scrabble, perhaps a fire in the fireplace…" Nancy intertwined her fingers with Frank's. "And some time getting re-acquainted with an old friend."

"In a whole new way," Frank agreed. "As you wish, Princess."