Disclaimer: I do not own Pretty Little Liars

It's useless. After everything I've done, trying to help Hanna, she still won't trust me. She is still shutting me out, just like everyone else. I know it isn't her fault, but I wasn't expecting this from her. I was just trying to….. I don't even remember anymore.

What was the point of all this? Was it really worth it? I threw everything with Hanna away for something as petty as revenge. I loved Hanna like a sister and I hurt her. I know I could never make up for what I've done, but it doesn't mean I shouldn't try.

I falsely confessed to killing Wilden for her. I went back to Radley, a place more insane than I am. I didn't have to, but I saw the tired and devastated look in Hanna's eyes, and I couldn't help myself. I feel like I owe her.

I don't completely hate the other girls either. For instance, about a year ago, for a quick second she thought of me as the person I've always wanted to be. She even trusted me to go with her to the A lair, but sadly, I threw that away.

Emily used to be so sweet. She used to never have anything bad to say about anyone. Hell, she even put up with Alison for years and always saw the best in her. She even fell in love with her. But just a few weeks ago she was ready to beat the crap out of me.

Aria was so creative, wanting nothing more than to go on taking pictures, painting portraits, and doing pottery. But there was one thing keeping her back- her father's adultery. It wasn't that he forced her to keep it a secret but I was also dangling over her head. I taunted her about it along with Ali.

I hurt Hanna most of all though. I was her best friend, and I betrayed her. She will never trust me again. Even in class, she would always check to see if I was there. It used to be to see if she was going to my house after school to corner me for not going to class. But now it's to see if I'm out doing work for A.

I confronted Ezra for them. It could have gotten me killed, but I wanted to protect them. I never meant to give him the hint that I know what he's up to. I didn't need to follow him. I know the look on his face. I've seen it plenty on Toby. (Sorry Spencer). Then Ezra really pushed me over the edge with his comment on my doings over the years. I had to retaliate.

I sort of had hope that I was somewhat cared about when the girls thought Redcoat was out to kill me. But everything went back to normal as quickly as it escalated. I invited Hanna to go with me for a spin on Jenna's old car, but she gave me the cold shoulder. I don't know what I have to do to gain her trust.

I've tried to be good, I really have, but I'm not cut out for it.

What do I have to do to get back her trust and her friendship? Do I have to risk my life for her? Stand up to Redcoat?

If so…..

bring it on.

A/N: Please review and tell me what you think. Should I do more one shots like this?