A/N: At this point, I should just stop pretending that this story is done; I'm fully just integrating an entire world into the Who's On Top universe as I please. Please forgive me; and know that even though I am a ridiculous person - I love you all very very much. Please enjoy this new chapter. (~ *= w =*)~

With some new Gaara X Lee X Gaara content! Nothing too explicit just yet; just testing the waters for now~

P. S. I find the way that Japanese people use kanji to be really interesting; so I had a little too much fun creating the pseudonyms. Please forgive my nerdiness.

Who's On Top?

Before long, Ino had managed to cajole Naruto into giving her the rights to Icha Icha Paradise. Insisting that Jiraiya's legacy was far too great to sit around and collect dust, she claimed that she knew just the way to 'properly honour his important contributions to literature' (her words, not his)

It had sounded a little ridiculous to Naruto, but he couldn't pretend like they weren't popular books. So when Ino promised to give forty-nine percent of all the new proceeds to his new inter-village aid fund for orphaned children (and another forty-nine to Sakura's and Tsunade's campaign to finally include one medic ninja in every four man ninja squad), he acquiesced.

"I mean this is probably what the Pervy Sage would have wanted, right?" he had rationalized, signing the copyright transfer forms.

But then he felt shivers run up his spine, looking at Ino's over-excited, vigorously nodding face, "You're not going… to do anything too weird, right?" he asked.

Ino just laughed, neatly folding the legal documents into a bright green folder and tucking that into an enormous shoulder bag over-flowing with papers. In fact, she kept laughing all the way to the Psych Ward of the Hospital.

Naruto felt his eye twitch; but what was the worst thing that could happen right?

Several months later, Sasuke stormed into the Hokage office; kicking down the door with enough force that Naruto startled awake. (He had just been working out what the new genin teams were going to look like this year, and was tired enough that his vision was going a little cross-eyed; but he had promised Shikamaru the day off and was determined to finish up before he came back.)

"I'm going to sue Yamanaka Ino for every dollar in her stupid designer handbag, and both of her giggling editors," Sasuke said, reaching into his coat to pull out a huge sheaf of papers and slamming them onto Naruto's desk, "I hope they're enjoying their last meals as free women in Sunagakure with Shikamaru and Temari."

Naruto wiped his watery eyes with the back of his hand and blinked. "Wait; isn't it Shikamaru's anniversary? Wasn't that what the holiday was for?... What's going on; what're they doing there third-wheeling?" Naruto asked.

Sasuke reached down and pinched one of Naruto's scarred cheeks between his fingers, "Usuratonkachi, Shikamaru's anniversary was last month; we bought them toys for the baby, don't you remember?"

Naruto squinted, but then he smiled remembering, "Oh yeah! Shikadai was so cute; his little cheeks were so squishy when he pouted and tried to solve that puzz-ahh~" The Seventh Hokage yawned deeply, and accidentally sent a stack of papers flying with his outstretched hand, "Whoops!"

Sasuke sighed and grabbed the papers our of the air. He took a seat, already scanning the lists of names before him, "He took the day off for Temari's birthday this time… Naruto, it's important to be reliable, but that doesn't mean you have to do everything yourself… If you tire yourself out doing small things like this; then you won't be able to do what your real job is after all."

Naruto looked genuinely taken aback, even through his sleep-deprivation, "What's my real job?"

Sasuke rolled his eyes, but his voice was soft, "Being the resident dead-last, and keeping all of us sane."

Naruto winked, giving him a sitting down a lame 'cool guy pose,' so Sasuke felt justified in leaning over and ruffling his hair until it stood on end, "What's with that pose? Don't get a big head. It's mostly just being the resident dead last… I guess it can't be helped; I'll assist you with the rest of this work first-"

"-Oh thank God; I thought that I was going to die here!" Naruto scream-laughed and pumped the air.

"-And then we'll work on not starting the next world war…" Sasuke trailed off, rolling his eyes; but then they both got to work. Quickly, they assembled the draft lists. By the end, they were fairly confident in their choices; but neither of them was going to pretend that they had anything on Shikamaru's analytical ability; so they set them aside for his final approval.

"Thank God…" Naruto cracked his knuckles, happy to relax now that his work was over; until it occurred to him.

"What giggling editors?" he asked.

Sasuke scoffed, "Well, Ino's managed to drag Hinata and Sakura into this too; although I don't think either of them protested too loudly... Who knows who else is a part of this…"

"Sakura and Hinata? Really?" Naruto grinned brightly, "I guess that makes sense. Sakura was the one who recommended buying that cat eared outfit that you-"

"-Finish that sentence and I'll kill you-," Sasuke said menacingly, but also blushing.

Naruto scratched the side of his nose, "But why? You think that it's cute when I wear what Hinata recommended! You remember, the little fox ta-"

"-CAN YOU JUST READ THE PAPERS NOW?" Sasuke shouted, panicking. Sure, nobody was around; but if Naruto got into the habit of talking about that kind of stuff in public, there was no telling where and when it would slip into casual conversation. They could barely walk down the street as it was without getting leered at…

Naruto sighed, adjusting a little in his seat; he was so busy they hadn't had time for anything erotic in weeks, so maybe he was a little wired too.

Still, he leafed through the pages;

~ NEW! Icha Icha Paradise ~

I am so honoured that my three latest works have generated so much love and affection from you, my lovely readers. It was worth the risk to venture out into new forms of romance; I am thrilled that you enjoyed the sweet shoujo-ai tales of Momoko and Inoko in Icha Icha Secrets; where our beautiful, genius doctor falls in love with a mysterious and charismatic millionaire hypnotist; and together they escape their emotionally abusive husbands to start a new life

And the shounen-ai between Taruto and Dansuke in Icha Icha Bonds; the two young war generals who uncovered a legacy of corruption and betrayal in a touching tale of loss and isolation – their paths diverging and converging; ebbing and flowing like waves meeting a beach shore, as they finally learn how to be happy; how to love themselves enough to be happy.

They were a true delight to write for you all!

But of course, we can't forget the classic romance of Inutarou and Hinami, the strapping young hunter and the beautiful princess in a kingdom ruled with a wicked king who branded everyone in the land so that they couldn't escape or understand their own self-worth! Together, they restructure the kingdom and achieve prosperity for all the peasants and royalty alike; under the guidance of the powerful dog deity that watched over their forest.

So this book brings you the exciting new tales of Iwasuke and Aichirou; two men meeting at a near deadly confrontation at the secret service examination. The stoic and dangerous Aichirou, feared and valorized as a weapon of destruction more than a human - but who is really a young boy who longs for love; meets Iwasuke, a genius of hard work who is all but considered a joke for all his efforts and genuine goodness. What does it mean for a man who is only worthwhile as a weapon, to fall in love with a man who longs to be worthwhile in anyways? What does it mean when he is loved back? And what secrets are influencing the exam from behind the scenes; how will our heroes fight back?

Coming to a bookstore near you!

"Ino's going to start an international incident and get us all killed. I mean writing stories about Hinata and Kiba, you and I, and Sakura and herself - was awful enough, but at least they were fictional accounts of our real relations - but now she's gone too far and I want absolutely nothing to do with this when it comes crashing down and we all get recognized. Gaara and Lee-"

"GAARA AND LEE? WHAT?"

"Were you even reading the words on the page? Of course it's Gaara and Lee! Who else could Aichirou and Iwasuke possibly be? It's so obvious!"

Naruto thought aloud, "Is it obvious? But I needed Ino to explain it to me! Hmm… Momoko was Sakura, because momo is peach and, well, Sakura's hair is a pink-peach colour. Inoko was obviously Ino; and they're both 'ko' because they're girls. Inutarou was Kiba, derived from the dog kanji 'inu' and 'tarou' is because Hinata loved the way that that ending sounds for boys names. -Oh, and since she's pregnant and we need to go to the baby shower, remember to schedule that in two Tuesdays from now.- Hinami was Hinata from the same first kanji for 'hi,' and the 'nami' is from the romance kanji… Then Naruto was Taroto because it sounds similar; and I also liked the Taro flavour; and Sasuke was Dansuke because of the similar end kanji, and since he made Itachi's birthday Konoha's Dango Appreciation day, and 'dan' is the first kanji from dango; I asked her to-"

"-YOU ASKED?"

"Well, yeah! Who do you think requested that one sex scene that takes place in the 'Land of Tides' chapter where Taroto makes love to Dansuke after their grueling fight with Hakuko? When Taruto just can't hold back how he feels about Dansuke; seeking him lying there, prone, having saved him once again that he-"

"-I'm gonna sue you too, Naruto."

Naruto humbly allowed Sasuke to yank his ear hard enough that he felt a solid crick in his neck, but then he straightened up immediately, "Oh! Is it because she used 'iwa' from the kanji for rock, and then the 'ai' from Gaara's forehead?"

Sasuke smacked his hand down on the desk. "Exactly! If even a dobe like you can figure it out in a few minutes, how long before everyone else does?!"

"I hate to admit it, but you're right!"

"And then I said, 'Who even picked those colours? This is a love story about two beautiful women and you want to use the classic green and orange colours? Are you insane?!"

Temari and Ino shared a laugh, just as Sakura, Kiba, and Kankuro all high-fived each other at some story.

Shikamaru felt remarkably out of his depths. Ino and Temari had been close for a while; as the two closest women to him (which at least made some sense).

But he was bewildered to see that Kiba, Kankuro and Sakura were all such pals; even after they had tried to explain it - Kankuro and Kiba hit it off sometime after the Sasuke retrieval mission, Kiba and Sakura got close because both of their crushes liked Naruto, Kankuro and Sakura both stayed friends after she saved his life, and the three of them had started a non-profit service that rescued injured ninja animals, provided them medical care, and gave them prosthetic puppet limbs.

It made sense in a way, but it was also really weird.

Ino swished her hair over her shoulder and continued, "I mean, is it true that I was partial to the pink and lavender combo from the beginning? Probably, but at least I can admit tha-, Oh, Hello! Please, come join us; I see that you both received copies of the new novels!"

Shikamaru turned his head to look towards the private dining room entrance. In the archway stood Gaara and Lee; both of them clutching sheaf's of paper and wearing matching unreadable expressions.

Ino pulled out a bright purple pen and a matching notebook. "Alright! Let's get down to business!" She said with a wink.

Gaara blushed red as deep as his hair, and Lee made a noise that sounded like 'meep.'

Hinata, who had been resting her head in Kiba's lap until that point, sat up and looked at the both of them. "Ah, yes…" she started, voice sounding peacefully reminiscent, "I enjoyed reading the GaaLee novel."

"Wait," said Sakura, leaning over the table, "Wasn't it LeeGaa?"

Gaara covered his face in his hands, while Lee tried valiantly to cover what appeared to be a nosebleed.

Suddenly there was a crash sound and a swoosh of wind; as Naruto and Sasuke came barreling through a window.

Shikamaru downed his and everyone else's shots, and then laid his head on the table. Weren't holidays supposed to be less stressful?

A/N: Well; you know this isn't (really) over; might never be over so... Hopefully I'll see you at the next chapter? Honestly, I just love this sweet, happy version of the Naruto cast so I find myself constantly coming back to it!

As always, I would love to hear your thoughts, and really appreciate your reviews, favs, and subscriptions immensely! They brighten up my dreary work days in this cold climate, so thank you! Take Care! Love, K.M.