God what has my life come to I wrote a genderbent fic gah don't look at me.

...

Anyway. Some temporary fem!Magnus and fem!Alec for you.

Disclaimer: I don't own Mortal Instruments.

Alexander Lightwood has woken up in many strange and frankly unforgettable circumstances, courtesy both of being a Shadowhunter and having two ridiculous siblings. However, this is the first time he's ever awoken to a half-naked woman lying next to him in his boyfriend's bed.

"Who the hell are you?" he demands, his hands reaching for a weapon, any weapon. His voice sounds strange, but he'll ignore that for now. He's let his guard down, goddamn it, because Magnus's apartment is warded and supposed to be safe, so why isn't it? How the hell did this intruder get in?

This intruder that, apparently, finds Alec's reaction quite amusing.

"What, you can't recognize me?" The voice is unfamiliar, but that tone, that way of speaking...it's undeniable who it is.

"Magnus?" Alec demands. Magnus grins.

"Well, don't we look pretty?" And no, shit, Magnus did not just say "we," because Alec is not a girl as well. He's not.

Goddamn it, he is.

"What the hell did you do?" he demands angrily. Magnus holds his hands up in a placating gesture. Her hands? No, it's his; no matter what he looks like, this is still Magnus, and Magnus is a man.

"I did nothing," Magnus protests. Alec glares at him in disbelief.

"Then why are we girls?" he demands. "This is obviously magic! What did you do?"

"Well maybe if someone hadn't distracted me last night when I was trying to work a spell, the energy wouldn't have gone haywire!" Magnus accuses. "That's probably what it was. I told you not to mess with me when I was doing that spell."

Okay, so yeah, Magnus is right. Alec did distract him while he was casting a spell the night before, and Magnus did tell him that was a bad idea. It's no one's fault but Alec's that he kept going. "So how long are we stuck like this?" Alec asks, getting to the the most important question. Magnus shrugs.

"Probably no more than a few hours."

"A few hours?" Alec demands, his voice spiking to an embarrassing high that he normally wouldn't be capable of. Magnus gives him the biggest shit-eating grin that Alec's ever seen, and he grew up with Jace. That's an achievement.

"I would say anywhere from three to five hours," Magnus replies. Alec sighs deeply.

"Great," he mutters sarcastically. "That's just great. I'm gonna be a freaking girl for a couple of hours, and there's nothing we can do about it."

"What should we tell your family?" Magnus asks. "I assume you don't want to go back to the Institute in this form."

"Hell no!" Alec cries emphatically. His new, female voice sounds shrill when he talks like that. Magnus laughs, and it's a beautiful, tinkling sound. Alec doesn't like girls, but Magnus is pretty hot, no matter which gender he is. Still, though, Alec wants his Magnus back. The male version.

"Then we should tell the others that you're sick or something, so they don't come looking," Magnus replies. "Text Jace or another one of your Shadowhunter friends and say you're not feeling well."

"What?" Alec asks, still slightly dazed from what's going on.

"Oh, for Heaven's sake," Magnus mutters. He grabs Alec's phone and starts typing.

"What are you saying?" Alec demands. Magnus doesn't let him read the message and turns away when Alec tries to grab his phone back. "By the Angel, Magnus, if you're writing something that'll embarrass me when I get back there..."

"Calm down," Magnus replies as he hits the send button. "Here, you can read what I said." Alec quickly checks what Magnus wrote.

hi jace, it's magnus. alec isn't feeling too well today, so i've officially confined him to bed. he'll head back over to the institute when he's feeling better, but until then, i would suggest you stay away. if you come and see something you never wanted to see, it's not my problem.

"Did you have to add in that last part?" Alec protests, throwing his phone on the bed. Magnus shrugs.

"If I hadn't, someone would have come to visit. If I imply that the two of us might be doing something intimate, they won't come." Magnus grins. "And, you know, if you want to..."

Alec makes a face. "Magnus, no offense, but I'm not really into girls. I know it's still you and all that, but still."

"I have no such problem," Magnus replies with a shrug. Alec shifts uncomfortably.

"I know, but it just feels weird," he replies. Magnus smiles softly.

"It's alright, Alec. I don't mind." Magnus gets up, stretches, and turns back to Alec. "I'm starving. You?"

"I'd like some breakfast, yeah," Alec replies. Magnus leaves the room with a smile. He's still not wearing a shirt, just a pair of now-too-big boxers that hang so low on his hips it should be illegal. And now that Alec thinks about it, he's not wearing a shirt either. All he has on is a pair of drawstring pants that can probably be tightened enough to make them stay up. The distinct lack of a shirt is a problem that must be remedied, however. A shirt is necessary. Alec is a girl now, however temporarily, and he's keeping his own dignity in mind. He doubts Magnus feels the same way, but he'd appreciate it if he put on a shirt all the same. Perhaps he'll ask.

Alec pulls on a t-shirt as he walks into the kitchen. Magnus is going to cook; he's actually surprisingly good at it, when he can be bothered. Normally, he just snaps food up from some restaurant. Alec doesn't like that, though; it's basically stealing. Even though Magnus has tried to validate it by bringing up the fact that the restaurants probably wouldn't still exist if not for their efforts, Alec still doesn't approve of thievery. Because of that, Magnus has been cooking more. And his food is good. Alec definitely doesn't mind. It's a long way away from Isabelle's cooking, and while Alec wouldn't say it's quite as good as his mother's food (though he'd never admit that to Magnus), it's a far sight better than some things he's eaten.

"Protecting your virtue?" Magnus quips as Alec enters the room, fixing his shirt. "You don't need to. I've seen you in less."

"Not in this body," Alec retorts. Magnus sighs.

"Listen, Alec. The body you're in? It doesn't matter. Especially not to me. You're still Alexander Lightwood, Shadowhunter extraordinaire, boyfriend of the magnificent Magnus Bane." The last bit makes Alec snicker. Magnus shoots him a dirty look. "Anyway, you're still you. And I'm still me."

"I know," Alec replies, looking anywhere but at Magnus's chest. Magnus sighs.

"If it really makes you that uncomfortable, I can put on a shirt," he offers. Alec gives him a shy smile.

"Could you?" Magnus grins.

"Only because you're such a cute girl," he replies. "We ought to take pictures. For posterity, of course."

"You mean for making me look like an idiot in front of Jace and Clary and Izzy," Alec corrects. Magnus shrugs.

"I'll be in the pictures too. I'll look like an idiot as well. I can be your idiot."

"You're ridiculous," Alec mutters fondly. Magnus goes into the bedroom and returns a moment later with a baggy black t-shirt on. Alec is about to ask why Magnus owns such a thing, considering he complains that Alec's t-shirts are boring and this looks just like one of them. Then he realizes the shirt looks exactly like Alec's shirts for a very good reason.

"Stealing my clothes?" Alec asks teasingly. Magnus looks down at his shirt as if in shock.

"Why, this is yours, isn't it? What a strange coincidence. I hadn't realized." Alec grins. He likes the way Magnus looks in his shirt, dare he admit it. Yes, this isn't Magnus's normal body, but Alec can appreciate that Magnus as a girl looks very cute in Alec's too-big shirt, even though he doesn't normally find women attractive. Considering Magnus still has a willowy, slender physique as a man, Alec wonders if he would look as good in his shirt when he's back to normal. He makes a mental note to check.

"What do you want for breakfast?" Magnus asks, twirling a lock of his hair around his finger. While Alec still has fairly short hair (it's around chin-length), Magnus's has grown more and now falls a few inches past his shoulders. It's long enough for him to play with, anyway.

"Anything sounds good to me," Alec replies. "What do you have?"

"Um..." Magnus starts going through the refrigerator. "Do you want an omelet?"

"Sure," Alec replies. "I'll feed Chairman Meow."

"You know where his food is," Magnus replies as he gets eggs and other necessary ingredients for an omelet out. Alec goes over to the cat food and gets out a bowl for Chairman Meow. The cat rubs against Alec's legs, apparently unconcerned by the fact that he's now in a different body. Chairman Meow has always tolerated Alec, but he's started liking him more ever since he basically moved in with Magnus (he still technically lives at the Institute, but everyone knows he stays the night at Magnus's apartment more often that not). Alec suspects that his unofficial job as "cat feeder" is part of the reason Chairman Meow's suddenly started liking him more. He sets the food out and is instantly abandoned; apparently a bowl of food is more interesting to Chairman Meow than Alec is.

"What do you want in your omelet? The usual?" Magnus asks as he begins getting the food ready.

"Sure," Alec replies, going back over to the kitchen. "Need any help?"

"Could you slice the onion?" Magnus asks. Alec smiles slightly as he takes the cuttingboard Magnus slides over to him. Whenever Magnus tries to cut an onion, his eyes start tearing up almost immediately. For whatever reason, Alec doesn't tear up very much while cutting onions, however, so he's been put in charge of them whenever Magnus cooks.

"Be careful," Magnus warns. "Coordination might be a bit off, what with the new body and all." As if on cue, Alec's control over the knife slips and he slices his finger. "What did I tell you?" Magnus asks in an exasperated voice. He grabs Alec's hand.

"It's not that big a deal," Alec protests, knowing what Magnus plans to do. Magnus ignores him and presses a gentle kiss to the cut. When he brings his lips away, the skin is unbroken. "You really didn't need to do that. It wasn't a big deal."

"I don't like seeing you hurt," Magnus replies mildly. "Of course, I care more when you're poisoned by a Greater Demon and dying, but still."

"That was one time!" Alec protests. Magnus laughs.

"Just don't do it again and we'll be good," he replies. Alec sighs and goes back to cutting the onion, more carefully this time. He finishes the whole thing without cutting himself again. He's a bit too proud of that fact. It's an onion, by the Angel. Hardly a fearsome foe.

"Thank you, love," Magnus says with a smile as Alec brings the cut-up onions over to him. Is it Alec's imagination, or is Magnus's hair a little shorter? And does his face look a little more masculine? Alec checks the clock; it's been close to an hour since they woke up, and Magnus said they would be girls for three to five hours. Could they already be changing back? Alec hopes so.

His phone buzzes in his pocket. He pulls it out to see a new text from Jace. "Jace replied to your text," he tells Magnus.

"What did he say?" Magnus asks. Alec opens the text to see.

"Alec, you bastard, you'd better really be sick," he reads aloud. "I told Mom you weren't feeling well. She says you should stay at Magnus's apartment. I didn't mention the last part of the message. If Magnus tries to take advantage of you while you're sick, kick his ass."

"I guess you could say you're really sick, depending on how you look at it," Magnus replies. "And I would never take advantage of you."

"You know I'd kick your ass, just like Jace said," Alec retorts jokingly. Magnus looks hurt.

"I would never take advantage of you because I love you, Alec. Tell Jace to put that in his pipe and smoke it." Alec giggles (it has to be a side effect of being a girl, because Alec doesn't giggle) as he types out a quick response to Jace.

jace. it's me. i am sick, you ass. do you think i would fake it? magnus wants me to tell you he'd never take advantage of me because he loves me. he also says for you to, and i quote, "put that in your pipe and smoke it." i'm dating a madman.

"I take offense to that," Magnus declares as he reads the message over Alec's shoulder. "That's a perfectly normal saying."

"No, it isn't," Alec replies, looking at Magnus dubiously. "That's a ridiculous saying."

"So you say," Magnus retorts. "I happen to like it."

"Of course you do," Alec groans. His phone buzzes again. Jace's response is merely a winking smiley face. Alec doesn't think that deserves a response, so he puts his phone back in his pocket.

"Your omelet will be ready soon," Magnus tells Alec. "Can you get out a plate for yourself?" Just as one would expect, all of Magnus's plates are mismatched and different. One might seem modern and like it could be bought at any furniture store, and then the next might have gold filigree on the edges and be clearly from the nineteenth century, at least. The plate Alec pulls out (on tiptoe; he hates being this short) is bright yellow with a duck face in the middle. Whenever Jace comes over, he always seems to end up with this plate. Alec wonders if Magnus somehow knows how much Jace dislikes ducks and that's why. He wouldn't put it past him.

Alec brings the plate over and Magnus slides the omelet onto it. "There you are," he tells him. Alec gives Magnus a quick kiss.

"Thanks," he replies.

"Don't wait up for me. I know you do that sometimes. You don't have to. I'll be over in a few minutes." Alec does wait for Magnus a lot when they're going to eat. Old habits die hard, he supposes, and at family dinners, he always had to wait until everyone was seated before he could start eating. Magnus is a lot less strict, though, so Alec can eat when he gets his food, whether Magnus is ready or not. It still doesn't totally feel right to Alec, but he tries to do as Magnus says anyway. He delays it, though; he gets a drink for himself (milk), a drink for Magnus (orange juice), utensils for both of them, salt and pepper, and a plate for Magnus. As a result, Alec only sits down to eat just as Magnus is finishing up making his own omelet.

"You did that on purpose," Magnus accuses. His voice definitely sounds a bit deeper. Not as deep as normal, but not as high as it was an hour ago.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Alec replies as he takes a bite of his omelet. "It's delicious. Thank you, Magnus."

"You're welcome, darling." Magnus narrows his eyes at Alec, scrutinizing him. His eyes still look mostly the same, with his signature catlike pupils, though his eyelashes are thicker than they used to be. But if he were wearing makeup, as he normally is, his mascara would compensate. It almost makes Alec laugh, how similar Magnus looks as a woman and a man.

"I think the spell is wearing off a bit," Magnus says, peering at Alec. "You're starting to look more like you normally do."

"So are you," Alec replies. "And your voice is getting deeper."

"It's a shame," Magnus says as he starts to eat his omelet. "We could have fun with this." Alec can't disagree enough. Magnus laughs; his face must show it. "You have to admit, Alec, it's not all bad."

"Most of it is," Alec replies grumpily. Magnus laughs again.

"Well, you make a lovely girl." Alec wonders if he actually does or not. "Go look in the mirror!" Magnus urges. "Or better yet..." He snaps and a hand mirror appears on the table. "Go on, look!" Feeling a little wary, Alec lifts the mirror and looks at himself in it.

He's not as beautiful as Isabelle, he'll say that first off. His blue eyes are now framed by thick, long lashes, and his brows are more delicate. His hair goes to his chin, but he thinks it's layered. His jawline is more feminine and his lips definitely belong to a girl. All in all, he wouldn't say he's "lovely" at all. Magnus still looks gorgeous, but Alec is still fairly plain.

"You don't see it, do you?" Magnus asked, sounding faintly disappointed. "You never see how beautiful you are, no matter what body you're in."

"Don't make fun of me," Alec mumbles. Magnus sighs.

"I'm not. You're beautiful." Alec blushes.

"You're very flattering, Magnus," he replies. Magnus still looks disappointed. "Look, I'm not beautiful," Alec replies. "You are, but I'm not. I'm boring."

"You are anything but boring," Magnus shoots back. He looks upset now. "Alec, you are not boring. Please don't think that you are."

"Magnus, it's okay," Alec says soothingly. "It's alright. Let's just eat." Magnus nods, but he only picks at his food. Alec can't help but wonder why it bothers Magnus so much if he thinks he's boring. What does it matter to him? Does Magnus not want to have a boring boyfriend? After all, no one he's ever dated seems to be short of stunning, except Alec. That must be the problem.

"I'm sorry if I'm too plain for you," Alec mumbles. Magnus looks at him in shock. There are actual tears in his eyes.

"Alec, please don't say those things about yourself. God, I wish you could see yourself through my eyes and see how incredibly beautiful you are." One of the tears escapes and Magnus wipes at his eyes furiously. "You have the most dazzling blue eyes, even more beautiful than sapphires. Your hair is normally messy but still always manages to look good, and with your pale skin and deep blue eyes, striking is too tame a word for it. Your body is beautifully proportioned, like a classical statue of one of the gods. The scars from your Marks shimmer in the right light and make you look like some sort of ethereal creature out of a myth. I'm the one that was lucky to score you, and you know how beautiful I think I am." Alec has to wonder who Magnus is describing, because it's definitely not him. "I love every part of you, Alec Lightwood, and you should love yourself too."

"But I'm not as beautiful as you say I am!" Alec protests. "Maybe you see me that way for some reason, but I don't!"

"Why can't you just...ugh!" Magnus snaps his fingers and Alec suddenly finds himself seeing things from the other side of the table. He realizes he's seeing from Magnus's perspective in shock. Magnus is staring directly at a beautiful girl across from him. Alec realizes a moment later it's him, it's the same girl he saw in the mirror, but from Magnus's eyes, he's perfect. Alec can't believe this is the way Magnus sees him. There's a faint, pulsing glow around Alec's body as well, and somehow, Alec knows it's the sign of the spell on him. Magnus snaps again and Alec finds himself back in his body, staring at a tired-looking Magnus. He instantly puts out his hand so Magnus can borrow some of his energy. He's sure Magnus will decline the offer, insisting he doesn't need the help, but Alec always offers anyway.

"Do you see now?" Magnus asks, taking Alec's hand but not drawing any energy from him. "You are beautiful. I can show you again when you go back to normal, if you still don't believe me."

"I...I suppose I do look beautiful through your eyes," Alec replies shyly. Magnus smiles.

"See? You're beautiful." Magnus beams at Alec, who can't help but smile back. "Good. Now that you've realized that, I think I can go back to my food." Both Magnus and Alec go back to their food. Alec finishes first, but by the time he's washed his plate (Magnus doesn't have a dishwasher for some reason that Alec can't understand), Magnus has finished as well. With a snap, his plate is clean. Alec sighs.

"Really? You couldn't just wash it over here?"

"Why would I bother?" Magnus replies. He puts his plate back in the cabinet. While Alec has to go on tiptoe now that he's a girl, Magnus can just reach to put the plates away. Alec totally isn't jealous at all.

"So what should we do?" Alec asks. Magnus shrugs.

"We could check what's on TV. There might be Project Runway or something." Alec laughs.

"Are you sure this spell didn't just reveal what you really are?" he teases. Magnus sticks his tongue out at him.

"So are you saying you're really a girl too?" Magnus asks. It's Alec's turn to stick out his tongue.

"Hey, nothing wrong with girls. Look at Isabelle. She's just as badass as I am, or Jace, and she's a girl."

"And I would never want to get on her bad side," Magnus adds. Alec smirks.

"She'd kick your ass," he states. There's no argument, and Magnus doesn't try to create one. Isabelle is a force to reckon with, and no one wants to have her mad at them. She can easily kick ass and take names, and all without breaking a single nail.

"So, Project Runway?" Magnus asks after a momentary pause. Alec can't help but laugh as he follows him over to the couch to check what's on television. Project Runway isn't on, and nor is anything else good. "Damn," Magnus mutters, turning off the television. "What should we do instead?"

"We could watch a movie," Alec suggests. "What about..."

"Harry Potter!" Magnus proclaims. "I know you've never seen it, and I'm not going to stand for it any longer." Alec rolls his eyes, but doesn't argue as Magnus puts the DVD in the player.

Alec's phone buzzes in his pocket. He pulls it out to see that it's Jace. Calling him.

"Shit," he swears. His voice is going back to normal, but it's still fairly feminine.

"What is it?" Magnus asks as he grabs the remote and flops back down on the couch.

"Jace is calling," Alec replies. "I can't pick up the phone like this! He'll notice how weird my voice sounds immediately!"

"Ignore it," Magnus suggests. Alec glares at him.

"I can't! What if it's important!"

"Then pick up the phone!"

"I can't do that either!" The argument is cut short by a chime from Alec's phone indicating a missed call. He's lost his chance to pick up the phone anyway.

"There you go," Magnus says, gesturing at the phone. "Problem solved." A moment later, there's another chime that indicates a new voicemail. Alec listens to it immediately, ignoring Magnus.

"Alec? Are you there? Am I interrupting something?" Jace's smirk is clear through his words. "Well, when you get this, call me. There's a Conclave meeting later today and they want you there. It's... Mom! When's the meeting? I'm calling Alec!" There's a momentary pause. "Okay," Jace continues, "the meeting is at three. If you're feeling better, you should try and make it. Anyway. Bye." The call ends there. Alec heaves a sigh of relief that it's not more serious.

"Will we be normal by three o'clock today?" Alec asks Magnus.

"We should be. Barring unforeseen circumstances, we'll be totally normal by then. Why?"

"Conclave meeting," Alec replies. "It'll probably be boring, but I'm supposed to go. The way Jace said it, it almost sounded like they specifically requested my presence, but I doubt that."

"Why do you doubt it?" Magnus asks, tucking his legs under his body. He looks very cute when he does that, even as a girl. Alec can clearly see he's starting to look more like his normal self.

"Because I'm barely of age to even be at the meetings," Alec answers. "And I'm not important, so-"

"You are so important," Magnus interrupts. Alec rolls his eyes.

"In this circumstance, I'm nothing special," he corrects. Magnus mumbles something under his breath. Alec ignores it. "So I don't think the Conclave would be specially asking for me."

"They should specially ask for you," Magnus replies petulantly. Alec sighs.

"Anyway. Will we be normal by three?"

"Hopefully," Magnus replies, sounding cherry. Alec doesn't understand how he can be so happy when he's in a girl's body. "We should be normal before that, actually."

"Thank God." Alec can't help but let out a sigh of relief at that. He's done with being a girl, thank you very much.

"Oh, quit whining," Magnus scolds. "This isn't that bad." Alec rolls his eyes, wondering what exactly Magnus classifies as "that bad."

"So, movie?" Magnus asks, gesturing at the television. Alec laughs and sits on the couch. Magnus conjures up a bowl of popcorn with a snap and starts the movie with another. Alec snuggles up next to him to watch the movie, but somewhere within the first few minutes of the movie, he falls asleep.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Alec wakes up to a grinning and thankfully male Magnus bending over him. "Hello."

"Magnus!" Alec squeaks. Magnus laughs. Alec's squeak is a male squeak, which means he is also back to being a man. It's not a moment too soon, if you ask him. Speaking of moments...

"What time is it?" Alec asks. Magnus checks his watch.

"Two forty seven," he replies. "You slept for a long time. Then again, the spell did require a good amount on energy on your part to remake your body, so-"

"Wait," Alec interrupts. "Two forty seven?"

"Two forty eight now. What's wrong?" he asks in response to Alec's horrified expression.

"I have a Conclave meeting in twelve minutes, that's what's wrong!" Alec cries in response. Magnus waves a dismissive hand.

"I'll Portal you to the Institute. You'll be fine." Alec jerks up off the couch and into the bedroom, grabbing his clothes off the ground.

"Damn it," he swears. Magnus sighs.

"Alec, sweetie, you'll be fine."

"Jace is gonna be ridiculous when I get back!" Alec complains. Magnus rolls his eyes.

"Tell him you were sick, but I made you a potion to make you feel better."

"Oh, and he won't take that the wrong way at all," Alec replies, heavy on the sarcasm. "I'll just try to avoid him."

"Not to alarm you, but it's two fifty one-"

"Shit!" Alec exclaims loudly, pulling on his clothes. Magnus must have gotten ready to go out while Alec was sleeping, because his hair is spiked and he's wearing his usual makeup. Alec can't help but be thankful for it.

The Portal spits Magnus and Alec out on the Institute's doorstep at two fifty eight. Alec presses a quick kiss to Magnus's lips as he rushes inside.

"Hey, loverboy," Jace calls over. Alec ignores him, continuing on his way to the Conclave meeting. His phone buzzes and Alec fishes it out of his pocket. It's a text from Magnus. Worried he left something important at his apartment, Alec checks the message.

at least you can never say i'm boring. xoxo. have fun with the conclave.

Alec can't help but smile as he steps into his mother's office. Above all else, this was definitely the most interesting morning Alec's ever had.