A/N : Set sometime when the war with Raphael is still happening in heaven. Standard disclaimers apply.
It was unusual for prayers to echo everywhere like this one did. But the words rang strong and true throughout heaven. Loudest prayers any angel had ever heard and they weren't stunned by volume as much as they were by the anger and hatred that it was filled with.
I want to talk. We are going to talk. You hear me? Wherever you are, you better be listening
There wasn't an angel that didn't recognize that voice. They all knew him. The righteous man.
Because this? Its about your kids.
Was he praying to God? Was the most faithless man they all knew actually talking to their father?
And you probably think this is about Cas, but actually it isn't. I mean, its not only about him. Its about all of them.
Even those who were trying to dismiss it as just another human venting at their father, stopped dead in their tracks.
Michael, Lucifer, Raphael, Gabriel and every other feathery bastard out there. and its for Anna too...
Now they were all listening...really listening. Because even angels were curious and Dean Winchester had always been able to stir that up in them.
How many kids do you have anyway? Cuz I only know a handful of em...and man, i'm telling you, they are so screwed.
They bristled in unison.
And i'm not gonna even try to lie and say I like any of them. Hell, I think they are self righteous sons of bitches who have sticks so high up their ass-
The nerve of that pitiful human piece of -
Point is, I hate them. Except Cas who I somehow managed to knock some sense into.
Well wasn't that the most reciprocated sentiment they ever knew.
But you know what? I'm probably the last person that should hate them.
Good thing he realised before one of them gave into temptation and threw him back into the pit.
I mean, I might not have a stick up my ass, but i'm a pretty screwed up piece of shit myself….
No one was arguing that one.
And I only spent thirty years looking for and hopelessly believing in a dead beat run away dad…
Had they been in human vessels, they would have blinked in confusion.
So trying to imagine - how long have you been gone anyway? - an eternity?
Close enough, yeah.
Imagining that...They got a right to be screwed...though Uriel was pushing that limit…
Where was this frustrating human going with this?
And half of - no, most of them haven't seen you. Four out of the entire clan? That's what Anna said…
Well wasn't that rubbing salt on an open wound…
And man, I gotta tell you….that is just...absolute bullshit. The hell were you thinking?
They wouldn't admit it to their dying day, but wouldn't they like to know...
Not that anything you do makes sense...But they are your goddamned kids you son of a bitch!
They all heard the unconcealed, unbounded fury in the words shouted.
I would think that means something! Its supposed to. And if you didn't know that, feel free to pick up a parenting guide from the next store…cuz you are doing it all wrong...
Real anger and bitterness...on their behalf…
I - How do you do that? Walk out and leave them alone? I mean whatever else, they are still your kids.
He was demanding answers...for them…
And you don't leave them. Cuz when you do… you also sort of leave behind a world of daddy issues.
And another point driven straight home...
And those issues? they are okay for me and Sam to have...But when you have all - powerful - snap - their - fingers - and - lightning - shoots - outta - the - sky kinda kids who can burn the world...
Someone needed to fix Dean Winchester's description skills...
Well then this happens… All this fucked up shit.
And probably his vocabulary. He swore way too much.
And guess what? Its on you. Lucifer's mistakes. Michael being a dick, Gabriel running away...Raphael and Cas trying to fix things up the way they know how...Every mistake is on you.
The momentary amusement had already sobered again as they listened.
I mean, i'm not pretending to understand your family here dude, that one is way out of my pay grade.
Wasn't everything that this human did out of his "pay-grade" though?
But I can sorta see where each of them are coming from you know?
And just like with everything else, he wasn't giving up on this one either it seemed.
And hell, i'm finally losing it if I can relate to the devil!
The righteous man relating to Satan himself? do tell...
And I know Sammy is the one that's supposed to be on his team... all that, as is in heaven so it shall be on earth shit that I still don't get…
He didn't get and so conveniently managed to ignore...
But Gabriel called it a tantrum because you weren't paying enough attention to him…
That was...one way to put it...yes…
And what do I know? Maybe that's fair. You can't expect a dude with the power to rip the world in two to just play obnoxiously loud music in his room as a sign of protest man… obviously he was going to go for the big drama...
Michael's vessel defending Lucifer. And they thought nothing could surprise them…
I mean, come on most kids don't agree with daddy's rules… that's normal.
They didn't know about normal, but this particular human didn't like rules, that they all knew.
But apparently, Michael missed that particular memo. And you know, for most of my life I did too.
Now if only they had thought to ask John Winchester to order his son to say yes to Michael instead of crap about killing his brother…
But when my dad said I might have to kill Sammy… I just never knew he had an example to follow.
The last words were practically snarled...the anger at the monstrosity of the action suggested still clear.
I mean, you had an issue with Lucifer, you kill him or throw him into hell or whatever. You do NOT ask your son to do it for you. You do not turn brother on brother. You just...that's sick and cowardly and damn you, I don't know who disgusts me more. That you ordered it or that he did it. Actually, no. You. Definitely you.
The words were flowing faster, the anger escalating quickly.
He was me right? I was supposed to be him? Or some crap like that? Then he was a good son. A faithful son who did everything you asked. Who followed your order to the letter. And that's what you repay him with? Putting his kid brother's blood on him? What the hell kinda father are you?
If they were more than just light, if they had corporeal forms, they would have all shrunk back from the sheer force of the words.
Did you also give him a choice like mine did? If you did, thats worse. Cuz saving Lucifer was your job, never his. And to make him think he damned him because he wasn't good enough to save him...if you put Michael through that...then you know, I really hope you are dead. And you died painfully… a million times over…
They didn't dare react, they didn't dare form coherent thoughts about this man wishing their father dead...because they didn't know how.
But you are still out there somewhere, screwing whatever else up and living a life you don't deserve while Gabriel is dead. You hear that? He is dead... and he shouldn't be. He should be alive now, happily annoying the hell out of me just for the kicks. Not dead because he had to get between his brothers.
Now this, they could all agree with easily enough. Gabriel though lost to them much earlier than his death was still a loss that stung…
Screw the way he died. You wanna take the blame for the way he lived? Holed up on earth amongst us pathetic mud monkeys or whatever you call us…all because he couldn't stand to see his family fighting. Its...Do you even know how that kinda thing rips you up? Seeing the people you love at each other's throats all the time? Over everything? and I only had one brother and my dad fighting!
The energy in his words was fading, anger still simmering but weariness worming its way in…
And while I don't know exactly what's going on up at your home right now, I hear its more fighting. Your son paid with his life trying to stop it, two others are locked away because you didn't watch out for them and there is one who is apparently still loyal enough to take his brother's place and follow your screwed up rules and finally one relatively naive but impossibly pure hearted son who is trying to actually fix everything up and clear your messes for you.
Gabriel...Michael...Lucifer...Raphael...Castiel...
And not counting Anna, who was so sick of your family, she left and became one of us, that is just five kids of yours I got a chance to know. Five highly screwed up pathetic sons of bitches that each suffered or are still suffering….
Emotion wasn't an angel's forte, but heaven was overflowing with it at the moment. Loss, pain, defeat...all things even warriors are familiar with...but summed up in the human's terms...it really was suffering…
Do you get what I'm saying? That's just five of them! The issues the rest might have? I don't want to imagine. And frankly, at the moment, I don't care. I don't have the energy to.
They didn't blame him because they felt as drained as he seemed at the moment.
And you know why? Because I know that sooner or later i'm going to walk out of here, search out some pathetic little thing I need Cas's help with so I can draw him out again and make sure he's okay.
Suddenly heaven remembered way too many times Castiel was drawn away.
And he isn't. He never is. He is broken. And I don't even want to know how many of his own brothers and sisters he had to kill between the last time he met me and now and its...its killing him.
None of them were okay. They were all broken. It was killing all of them...
He's - he's breaking right in front of me and I can't do a damn thing cuz dealing with your family is out of league. So please...please. I'm begging you. I'm begging you to save your own family.
And how pathetic was it that someone else had to ask a father to save his own children?
Save all of them because that's what Cas is trying so hard to do.
How pathetic was it that Castiel, young naive awkward little Castiel, because damnit, by their standards, that was what he was, had ended up trying to hold them together?
And I don't really think begging helps, or wishing. And damn, it would be easier if you were a demon so I could just make a deal with you and stop the war and bloodshed up there, but I don't know how else this works.
How pathetic that some insignificant human soul was even considering trading himself to save them? Them, the guardians of humanity...
I mean its established I don't like you or believe in you or your plans. I don't have faith. I don't deserve a thing. But you have to see that he does. You have to do this for him because he still believes in you. Heck, that's why i'm even here talking to you…
And that was it wasn't it? All of them, whichever side they were fighting on, believed in their father even now...
Asking you to just fix them before they destroy everything including heaven…And they will really torch all of it at the rate they are going, I can bet Sam's soul on that.
Every garrison knew the significance of that because Dean Winchester did not trade his brother for anything and somehow, knowing the weight of those words, it was like a sucker punch.
because you are wrong, they aren't as heartless and incapable of emotion as you thought them to be. I've seen at least one emotion in each of them...even if it was mostly negative...
Pride, indifference, envy, contempt, resentment, ferocity, melancholy, insecurity...And they were a species that called themselves angels.
And I've seen every emotion in Cas… and its killing me more than him...the pain and regret and sheer anguish over fighting...over realising that win or lose, its his family that is dying…
They knew that of course. But why did they not realise it until Dean put it into words?
Your family that is dying. So please...help them. Help Cas.
Yes father, help us.
Just be the father your kids want you to be.
Silence. Pure helpless silence on both ends as they waited for a miracle.
Go home. Fix this up. Make them stop fighting long enough to see they are wrong. Please.
As the last plea faded and the angels remained mournfully silent, a sole being stood behind Dean Winchester at that very moment, smiling sadly at the kneeling form of the righteous man and thinking...
You just did.
A/N : Its my first SPN fic and I would really appreciate a review. Pretty please?