This is how Ed reacts to Ed X Al Lemons. I don't own FMA, or whatever I reference.

Okay, fanfiction people.

First of all, let me state this so you will understand clearly:

I AM CAPABLE OF KILLING YOU. I DON'T EVEN NEED TO MAKE A TRANSMUTATION CIRCLE. I CAN KILL YOU.

Number two on my list…

Al's soul currently resides within a suit of armor. So that's already creepy, and I haven't put in the fact that he's my brother, much taller than me, and 14 freakin' years old.

Which brings me to number three…

HE'S MY BROTHER! I'M FREAKIN' BLOOD RELATED TO HIM, YOU SICKOS!

I love my brother, yes, but NOT like, romantically, creepy, incestial love! That's screwed up!

Speaking of screwed up, he's also 14 years old. FOURTEEN!

It would completely horrify and completely and totally scar him for the rest of his life if his fifteen-year-old brother…

Know what? I'm not finishing that sentence. It's too messed up.

Also, as for that 'short' thing.

I'm not into that.

Maybe you people are, but to me, that's plain sick.

Okay, final thing: I'm a boy. Al's a boy.

I know, I know, not every guy likes girls, some guys like guys, and if that's the way Al swings, well, I don't mind.

But that does NOT mean I like guys.

Nor does it mean that I am going to screw my little brother who is made out of armor.

So please, never write any of these anymore, because they are screwed up.

Also, I can kill you. NO TRANSMUTATION CIRCLE REQUIRED.

-with no love, Edward Elric, Fullmetal Alchemist.