The (M)End:

Part 2

James is tutoring a particularly slow second year Hufflepuff on Transfiguration theory in the library when a movement to his right catches his eye. He looks up from Audrey Childress's slow, thoughtful quill strokes on her "think it out" parchment, as she refers to it, to see that Penelope Greyson has entered the library and is sitting at the table nearest him. She looks directly at him and smiles and James is slow to smile back, his mind on his conversation with the boys the other day at breakfast.

He is trying to figure out the chances that they were just having a go at him and using Penelope's admittedly frequent presence to their advantage when Audrey clears her throat. James snaps his attention back to her, smiling apologetically as he leans over her shoulder to look at her work. "Let's see what you've figured out here."

When his gaze flickers back to Penelope a few minutes later, any doubt in his friends' sincerity is eradicated. Quite suddenly – at first he doesn't know if by accident or design – the top two buttons of her blouse are undone. Sirius was right, he can't help but notice, she does have very large, very nice tits, but it isn't the blouse that decides him. Without looking up from her textbook, Penelope lifts her quill to bring it to her lips; her tongue darts out to swirl around the tip. He might think it means nothing if he doesn't see one corner of her mouth twitch upwards in a self-satisfied smirk. No, he thinks as he turns back to Audrey, his friends were not having a go at him. Penelope Greyson is doing her best to seduce him, and it might be working.

A little more than half an hour later, Audrey packs up her Transfiguration notes and leaves, thanking James for his help. He is sneaking one more glance at Penelope and her probably inappropriate cleavage when someone drops heavily into Audrey's chair. He gives a little start, ready to be embarrassed, when he looks over and sees Sirius grinning at him.

"You gonna ask her out?"

"Aren't you supposed to be pulling a prank or otherwise causing mischief?" James says.

"Who, me?" Sirius feigns shock, dramatically covering his heart with one hand. "Of course not. The brother of my heart is Head Boy. I would never."

"You tosser," James laughs, dipping his quill in ink and then flicking it at Sirius to lightly splatter him. "Get out of here. My next pupil has arrived."

Sirius looks greatly affronted to have been covered with ink as he tries to wipe it off of his shirt. "If that got in my hair…" he warns on a sigh, then looks round to see Erik Gardner approaching them. He leans closer to James and lowers his voice. "Just ask her out. At the very least, you'll have a good time with a fit bird."

Then Sirius is gone and Erik is sitting down next to James. "Hello, James."

"Alright, Erik?" James says, and Erik nods as he rummages through his bag for his latest Transfiguration notes. "How's Beth?"

Erik grins at the mention of his girlfriend and lifts his head from the search through is messy bag. "Brilliant! We're going to Hogsmeade together this weekend. By the time we got together last year, there were no more trips scheduled, so we're both really looking forward to it." Erik pauses and makes an unhappy face. "Except she wants to go to that awful tearoom everyone's always making fun of. What is it?"

"Madam Puddifoot's?" James laughs at Erik's tortured nod. "Yeah, mate, sorry to tell you, but it's horrible. All pink everywhere and the tables are tiny and there are way too many crowded into a very small space. The tea is shit, too, and overpriced."

Erik groans and drops his head into his hands. James grins and swipes the boy's Transfiguration notes. "All right, lover boy," he says lightly. "What's McGonagall teaching you young ones this week?"

When Penelope is still sitting alone at the next table an hour later after Erik leaves to meet up with Beth, James decides that Sirius is probably right. There is a very pretty girl wanting him to ask her out and he's over here not doing anything about it. Determined, James pushes to his feet and strides over to her table. "Hello, Penelope."

She takes her time looking up at him, waiting until after she's finished jotting down a sentence in her very tidy scrawl. Her smile is as slow coming as her attention, but it's a blinding white one, which transforms her face from beautiful to stunning. "Oh, hello, James." Her voice is soft, but also somewhat huskier than most other girls'. "How are you doing?"

"I'm fine, thanks," James says. Then, before he can think it through, he does just what Sirius advised him to. "Listen, do you want to have a drink with me in Hogsmeade this weekend?"

"Just a drink?" She asks, eyebrows drawing together as if his proposal is a puzzle she must decode.

"Or two," he says. He isn't really nervous for her answer either way, and he can't quite decide if that's a good or bad omen. "I do have to keep an eye out for trouble and I need to be on High Street at noon for a meeting, so I figured we can meet at the Three Broomsticks around three and then maybe walk back to the castle together."

Penelope eyes him curiously over her quill. "Most blokes want more than just a drink when they ask me out to Hogsmeade."

James wonders briefly if she suspects him of wanting in her knickers – which he might, he's really not sure at this point – but then she cocks her head and continues speaking thoughtfully.

"They want to meet me in the Great Hall and hold my hand all the way to the village and look in all the shops and walk me past that awful Shrieking Shack to try and scare me into their arms." She smiles at him after she finishes speaking. "Might be nice to have a change of pace. Yes, we can have a drink or two. I do have plans to meet with some friends there around that time, but you can certainly join us. I just know you'll fit right in."

"All right," James says after a slightly bewildered pause. "Sounds good. I guess I'll see you then."

"Good bye, James." Penelope sends him off with a smile and an odd feeling in the pit of his stomach.

Someone falls into step with him as he's leaving the library and James looks to his left to see Emmeline Vance, Lily's slightly more terrifying (only because her intentions are never obvious) best friend. The smile on her face is more vicious than friendly and James raises an eyebrow at her.

"Do you even know the first thing about Greyson?" she asks by way of greeting, then continues speaking without any real pause for him to answer. "I mean, besides the fact that she's got black hair, blue eyes, and big tits?"

The wording is so familiar to him that for a moment he's stuck trying to figure out where he's heard that description of Penelope before. Then he remembers that it's exactly what Sirius said about her the other day in the Great Hall.

"Here I was under the impression that a first date was meant for getting to know each other," James eventually says as they begin climbing a moving staircase at a leisurely pace.

"Yes, but you're supposed to at least have a general idea of the type of person you're dealing with, Potter." Emmeline rolls her eyes at him and then shakes her head with a faux-sympathetic click of her tongue. "She's really not your type."

"I think that's for me to decide," James says as they come to a halt at the top of the staircase, waiting for it to finish shifting into place.

"Hey, don't bite my head off. I'm just trying to help a friend out."

"Which friend?" James asks. "Me or Lily?"

"I bet you a Galleon you can't stand fifteen minutes with her and her idiot friends," Emmeline says as she staircase lines up with the proper landing. Her tone is perfectly friendly, but her smile is a bit feral. "Have fun getting to know Penelope Greyson, Potter."

James stares after her as she struts away, realizing quite suddenly that the odd feeling in the pit of his stomach is dread.

—

"No, but what do you actually know about her?" James asks Peter for what must be the thousandth time in three days.

Peter sighs heavily and rolls his eyes at James as they stroll down towards the open front gate. It's early and they're among the first few people to head down to the village for the day. James wanted an early start because it's his first Hogsmeade trip as Head Boy and he wants to be there if he's needed. Peter is only along for the walk and because James promised to buy him his weight in sweets if he would come and let James try to pick his brain some more.

"Like I've said every other time you asked," Peter huffs, "I don't know anything about her other than that she's fit and always following you around. She's always been quiet in class, you know, and even though loads of people like her, I don't think she has many friends."

"But why's she so interested in me?" James says.

"Oh, I dunno, Prongs," Peter says sarcastically. "You're only the tallest bloke at Hogwarts, one of the top students, well-liked by anyone who doesn't want to be a Death Eater after school, captain of an undefeated Quidditch team, and Head Boy. Oh, and you're filthy rich."

"My parents are," James says.

"You ever not gotten anything you ever asked for?" Peter smiles smugly up at him when James doesn't bother to answer.

"Anyway," James says loftily. "You forgot my dashing good looks and renowned snogging skills."

"And you're the prat with the most inflated ego Hogwarts has ever seen. So impressive." Peter shoves James sideways and takes off running before James can shove him back or think of a suitable retort.

He could catch Peter easily and drive him to the ground for a friendly beating, but he settles instead for racing his mate into the village, enjoying Peter's boyish giggles and the wind in his messy hair.

The Three Broomsticks is crowded when he walks in a few minutes past three o'clock. He staunchly ignores his idiot friends flailing about in the far corner trying to embarrass him, searching instead for long black hair and blue eyes. One thing he's learning already about Penelope Greyson is that, as beautiful as she may be, she doesn't stand out in a crowd. Not like Lily does, he thinks begrudgingly as he spots her red hair a few tables away from his mates. He catches Emmeline's eye and turns his head when she tips her glass at him with a thin smile.

Finally he spots her sitting at the counter with a few people he recognizes from school: Ophelia Ross and Hester Gamp from Slytherin and Everett Urquart and Atticus Doge from Ravenclaw. He's a bit confused when he realizes that all four of her companions are purebloods, not that he usually takes note of blood status, but all four are rather proud of their status. They aren't future Death Eaters, James doesn't think, but neither are they the type of people he would like to spend time with.

He doesn't know Penelope's blood status, but judging by the company she keeps, he would bet every sickle in his parent's vault that she's a pureblood. He means to look back at his friends with a condemning glare, but none of the tossers are paying him any attention anymore. Instead, he locks eyes with a smug Emmeline Vance once again. He scowls at her.

"You going to move soon, love?" a disgruntled voice says behind him and James realizes that he's blocking the door to the pub. He mumbles a hurried apology to the old woman behind him and starts to pick his way through the crowd to the counter.

All three girls are sitting on sturdy stools, their skirt-bared knees tucked under the ledge of the counter; the two boys with them stand behind Hester and Ophelia's stools. All five of them seem to be engaged in a conversation, which breaks off when Penelope spies James approaching.

"James," she practically purrs when he reaches them. She takes his left hand in hers and turns to beam at her friends. "I told you he would be here."

"Right, sorry I'm a bit late. A couple boys were harassing some girls out by Zonko's. I had to get involved," he explains, then looks down and swallows hard when Penelope rests their joined hands high on her mostly bare thigh.

"Well, better late than never, eh, Potter?" Atticus offers his hand for James to shake. "Good to see you."

"Hello, Atticus," James says, and then shakes Everett's proffered hand in turn. He smiles at Ophelia and Hester, hoping that they don't offer the backs of their hands for him to kiss the way some pureblood women are raised to do. Luckily, they only smile back at him.

"Tell me, Potter," says Ophelia as she leans back into Everett's chest, "how do you find having to defend those who should be able to defend themselves?"

"I don't, really," James says slowly, wondering what that has to do with anything. "The boys back there were at least three years older than the girls. Those girls didn't know half the spells they knew. I don't really see how you could expect them to defend themselves now. In a few years time, after they're all NEWT-qualified, sure, but now with basically only half the skill and experience of those boys? No way."

The others laugh at his answer and James frowns when Penelope pats at his chest a bit condescendingly, he thinks. Then she threads the fingers of their joined hands together and pulls him a bit closer to her. Next to them, Atticus loops his arm around Hester's waist.

"James doesn't mind playing the hero, though," Penelope says, looking up at him with a placating smile. He only frowns down at her, confused about the entire situation he's landed himself in and maybe a bit offended. "You know, Head Boy and all that. He's always leaping to defend the defenseless."

"But isn't the whole point of what we were just discussing that there should be no need for such action?" Atticus says. "If you can't defend yourself, what should I risk my life defending you?"

"Well on that note, why did you mother bother to feed you when you were a child if you couldn't just feed yourself?" James says hotly before he can stop himself. "Wouldn't it have been easier for her to just let you handle it yourself or starve?"

"That's a completely unrelated scenario," Everett says dismissively. "Parents have the responsibility, the obligation, to car for their children."

"Yes, they do. Just as we, the future of the wizarding world, have the responsibility to stand up for what's right!" James insists, pulling his hand free from Penelope's grasp to throw both of his hands up in disgust. "We have the obligation, you might say, to see ourselves and our peers into a better, more peaceful, and inclusive society.

"You're suggesting that we waste our time protecting muggleborns?" Ophelia asks.

"I'm not saying you should stand in front of them and shield them from harm, but you should lend what support you can, yes. We all should."

"Look, I don't fault them any for their existence," Hester says, "but it's a case of survival of the fittest, isn't it?"

"Survival of the privileged, you mean," James spits. He's working himself up to raging and none of these fools can even see it coming.

"I have no issue with muggleborns," Penelope says in her husky voice, "but I'm not going to put my life on the line for a group of people who won't stand up for themselves."

"They are standing up for themselves! They're dying for it!" James feels a bit like his childhood cat, hissing mad and ready to claw the shit out of the next kid who tries to touch him. Except instead of kids he's surrounded by privileged assholes and instead of touching him, they're trying to argue with him on a topic about which he is passionately defensive.

"And I should die with them? We're purebloods, James. We're safe by rite of birth. Why risk that?" Penelope asks, and quite suddenly not even her low-cut blouse or high hemline can make him attracted to her.

"Because some things are worth dying for!" James says, shaking his head in disgust. "But I guess where you're cowering behind your privileged backgrounds, none of you can see that."

James turns to flag down the barmaid, a pretty young woman named Rosmerta who has worked the counter ever since James can remember, and orders an Ogden's Old. "Make it a double."

"A bit tetchy today," Penelope says of him lightly, laughing to her friends.

Rosmerta hands James his drink and he drops a few coins on the counter, then turns to leave. Penelope reaches for his hand again, but he shakes her off. "Where are you going?"

"This is clearly not going to work," James says.

"Why? Because I don't share in your apparent death wish?" she asks, looking genuinely bewildered.

"No," James says shortly. "Because I can't stand a coward."

Penelope gapes at him, clearly shocked at this turn of events, but James can't be bothered to care. He storms away without a backward glance, downing half of his drink in one gulp and relishing in the burning heat it sends through his body.

On his way to his friends' table, James fishes a Galleon out of his pocket. Wordlessly on his way past, he drops it in front of Emmeline, who grins at him even as he doesn't falter.

"James!" Sirius says when he drops into the booth next to him. "What happened? You bombed it already?"

"Next time you prats get it in your heads to convince me to go out with a girl I don't know, at least bother to figure out if you think I'll even remotely get along with her first," James says harshly and his friends all stop craning their necks to look over at Penelope's little group at the counter.

"Er – what happened?" Remus asks hesitantly, and James immediately launches into an animated and detailed explanation.

"Moral of the story, boys?" he says when he's finished, looking around at their shocked faces.

"No meddling in your love life?" Peter suggests.

"Fat chance," Sirius scoffs into his butterbeer.

"How about next time you assholes try to set me up with someone, make damn sure she's not a simpering coward because otherwise, I'll hex the balls off all three of you," James growls. "I don't care how bloody fit she is."

—

About a week after Halloween, James begins to really feel the strain of so much responsibility. With just over a month before Christmas Hols, professors are beginning to issue even heavier workloads. Over the course of two days, James has been assigned a lengthy essay in all seven of his classes. He spends his free periods when he isn't patrolling the corridors working furiously to try to keep from falling behind on his assignments.

Then there's the matter of Quidditch practice. With two evening practices each week and one long practice every Sunday, he's beginning to feel physically – not just mentally – drained. Gryffindor is playing Ravenclaw in just a matter of weeks, so James has to find time in his schedule to not only be able to attend extra practices, but to track down Madam Hooch and find out what slots are open for him to book the pitch.

He's also got Transfiguration tutoring taking up much of his time on Saturdays and Wednesday evenings, and at least one evening patrol each week. He's really only supposed to have one evening patrol each week, but most weeks, he's approached by at least one desperate prefect who is over-stressed and can't get another prefect to cover their patrol, and can he please, please, please help them out; just last week, in fact, James was duped into taking three extra evening patrols.

Not to mention he spends one night each month as a stag running through the Forbidden Forest with his best mates in an attempt to keep werewolf-Remus from harming himself. So really, James is just functioning in a constant state of exhaustion.

Not only that, but he's also finding it challenging to constantly work in such close proximity to Lily Evans.

While the castle keeps track of the points the professors dock, automatically altering the amount of gems in the hourglasses, Prefects have to keep track of the points they dock, and report it to the Head Boy and Head Girl who, at the end of each week, have to sit down together to go through and accept or decline each docking. They then must tally the points and write a report to hand in to the Heads of Houses, detailing how many points were docked from their House and for what reasons, at which point the Heads of Houses may decline any dockings they do not deem fair or necessary.

Additionally, Lily's plan to switch patrol partners every week requires her and James to sit down and work out a new schedule every Sunday evening, which means that the two of them end up sitting alone together in the Prefects' common room poring over Quidditch schedules and class schedules and writing patrol schedules, not to mention tallying up points and organizing detention slips to hand in to professors, and the weekly meetings they have to plan together.

A year ago, James would have been thrilled to have the excuse to spend so much time alone with Lily. Now, though, it only adds more unneeded stress to his life. He's pretty sure Lily is frustrated with him half the time, as well. He can't blame her, really. She probably thinks he's ducking out on her after every meeting because he still wants to avoid talking about last year.

Honestly, though, it isn't even a matter of not wanting to discuss their situation anymore, but not having time to deal with it. He's fairly certain that addressing the tension between them would make everything much more bearable.

Once or twice, he has actually attempted to sit down with her after a Prefect meeting or after they have finished writing the week's patrol schedules to have it all out and move on. Each time, though, another Prefect or professor needing a chat with them has interrupted them.

Looking up from the point deduction slips he has been tallying up while pretending to take notes for History of Magic, James glances over at Lily. He is only moderately surprised to find that, several seats to the right of him, Lily is already watching him. Hesitantly, he offers a tight-lipped smile and a small wave. Her eyes widen in surprise, but she nods at him, one corner of her mouth upturned in an awkward half-smile.

After class, he tells himself determinedly, they will make time to talk. He's got to patrol the halls for the first few minutes of free period, but so does Lily. Maybe they can patrol together instead of separately like they have been every time they've been paired up.

Decided, he turns his attention back to the points spreadsheet in font of him, tuning out Professor Binns's droll lecture. Peter takes the best History of Magic notes, anyway, so he'll just copy them later, or he won't copy them and he'll just study with the lads when the exam approaches.

Class ends and James packs his bag in a hurry and turns to see that Lily has already disappeared.

"Damn," he says, making his excuse to ditch Peter and Remus – Sirius is skiving off classes today. He practically runs out of the classroom, just barely catching sight of Lily's deep auburn hair swinging just above her shoulders as she sets off toward the staircase with Emmeline and Marlene. "Evans!"

Lily swings around at once, her eyes wide and mouth hanging open slightly as James shoves his way through the crowd after her. He can't blame her for her shock; he hasn't chased after her since their disastrous conversation outside the Great Hall last year.

"Potter," she says when he catches up, peering up at him through eyes that remind him of the Forbidden Forest: dark green, beautiful, tempting, and full of secrets he still wants to pick at even after all that's happened.

"Off to patrol?" he asks, nodding his greeting for her friends, who are watching their interaction curiously.

"No, actually," Lily says. "I switched with Robbie yesterday because he had to meet with Flitwick during his free period." She must see the frustrated disappointment on his face because she warily adds, "Did you need something?"

"Er – no. Just thought we could patrol together. Talk, you know? No big deal, though," James says, hitching his bag more securely over his shoulder as he starts to turn away. "See you around."

"Wait!" Lily grabs his arm before he can go. "I can still… We can walk and talk."

"Yeah?" James says, eyeing her hand on his bare forearm. She drops her hand from him and James feels the loss of contact more acutely than he thinks can possibly be good for him.

In answer, she turns to her friends. "I might catch up with you in the library in a little while."

James doesn't miss the fact that she doesn't give them a definite time frame in which to expect her anymore than he misses the suspicious glances that Emmeline and Marlene leave him with before they walk away.

"So…" Lily says when they find themselves more or less alone in the corridor. James turns to begin walking in the direction of the storage closets as illicit activity is more likely to occur there than in a classroom; Lily follows half a step behind him. "You wanted to talk… about Head duties or… not?"

James smiles ruefully as he recognizes his own words from the train. "Not."

Lily takes a deep breath and then huffs it out quickly. "Okay."

"We need to properly talk about what happened last year," James says carefully; they certainly don't want this conversation to be overheard.

"Okay," she says again and James turns his head to watch her nod firmly as she draws level with him. "I agree. Shall I start? It only seems fair since I am the one who cocked it all up."

"We both messed up, Lily," James says, rubbing the back of his neck. "But okay, you start."

"Right. So, I was dishonest with myself and also with you for the better part of the second half of last year. See, I thought all I wanted was… physical… but then…" Lily trails off, searching for words.

James stares at her, his feet coming to a sudden halt; that sounded like… well, the start to a different sort of conversation than he had in mind. He had imagined that they would both apologize and try to explain everything away as a series of stupid, hormonal mistakes. What Lily seems to have in mind, however, is more of an actual conversation. About feelings. His palms begin to slick with sweat as his heart pounds violently in his chest. He isn't prepared for this.

"Mr. Potter." A familiar voice, usually more stern than the soft tone that calls to him now, makes both James and Lily jolt and swing around to find Professor McGonagall standing at the end of the corridor. Her normally cool eyes are touched with a hint of grief that makes James's heart stutter. "May I have a word?"

"I'm… I'm patrolling," James says dumbly, staring at her with wide eyes.

"I'm sure Miss Evans wouldn't mind taking over from here."

Lily looks from James to Professor McGonagall. "No. I don't mind."

She touches a soft hand to James's shoulder and that's when he sees it: the thick, black Ministry death notice clutched in Professor McGonagall's left hand. He knows what it is because two years ago, Remy Gallagher received one. He left the next day to bury his mother and never returned to school.

James's mouth goes dry. He stand there watching Lily walk away from him, feeling for all the world like he would much rather be completely unprepared for a discussion of feelings with and for the Head Girl than to endure what Professor McGonagall is about to tell him, but he follows her steel-grey hair into the nearest unoccupied classroom anyway.

—

He and Sirius leave that afternoon to plan his parents' funeral.

James knew when he left them at the end of summer that his parents were getting on in years and having a rough time of it; they both had their bad days, but they both had their good days as well; days when they felt strong and able and whole.

Apparently, yesterday was one of those days. They had ventured into Diagon Alley and had stumbled right into the middle of a Death Eater attack. They hadn't gone down without a fight, Professor McGonagall assured him – there was comfort and a certain amount of pride in that fact – but had fought bravely, valiantly. In the end, they had dispatched half a dozen Death Eaters, saved dozens of innocent lives, and lost their own.

Euphemia and Fleamont Potter are buried in the family plot in Godric's Hollow – the Potters haven't lived in the Hollow for some centuries, but they are all laid to rest there.

Remus and Peter are there for the funeral, along with what James assumes must be the entire Auror Department and half of the Healers from St. Mungo's. Remus and Peter have to leave after the wake to get back to school, but James and Sirius both have a week off. Time enough, James is told by none other than the Minister of Magic himself, to set their affairs in order.

There is no shortage of paperwork for James to sign. Among several other documents, he signs one authorizing the Gringotts goblins to transfer his parents' fortune to his personal vault, one officially placing the Potter mansion and all other properties under James's name, and one allowing the repurposing of his parents' wands.

There is also the matter of acquiring a flat of his own with Sirius because on their second night in the mansion alone, James tells Sirius that he will lose his mind if he has to spend another night with so many memories of his parents. The very next day, they go out and sign even more paperwork, hand over an obscene amount of money to a short, pudgy middle-aged muggle man, and walk away the distraught new renters of their very own flat overlooking muggle London. Four nights of a drunken stupor in their unfurnished flat makes for an uncomfortable and somewhat painful ride on the Knight's Bus back to Hogsmeade.

It's a Sunday afternoon when they return and the grounds are teeming with students, all of whom turn to stare when the gate opens just for James and Sirius to walk in. Lily is there, James notices, watching as he and Sirius trudge their way up toward the front steps to the castle. She's sitting near the Black Lake, surrounded by a small group of Prefects – one of her so-called 'casual hangouts,' he assumes; it's not an official meeting, but still a chance for the Prefects to air their grievances.

A heavy arm drops over his shoulders and James tears his gaze away from Lily to find that Remus and Peter have joined them in their trek across the grounds. Remus is between him and Sirius, one arm slung bracingly over each of them, and Peter is walking backwards ahead of them.

"You're a godsend, Wormy," Sirius says, grabbing one of two vials of murky grey Hangover Potion Peter is holding out to them. He downs the whole thing in one desperate gulp. James imagines he can feel Sirius's disgusted shudder even through the buffer of Remus's body as he reaches out to accept the other vial.

"Putrid," James says, wrinkling his nose as he uncorks the potion. He drinks it quickly and fights the urge to retch at the horrid taste. Barely a second later, his head stops pounding, his vision clears, his eyelids aren't as heavy, and, if Sirius's pallor is any indication, some color has returned to his face. "This is your best batch yet, Wormtail. Thanks."

"Actually…" Peter hesitates, looks briefly at Remus, who shrugs, and then shifts uncomfortably, turning so that he is walking next to James rather than facing him as they mount the castle steps. "Lily made it."

James turns his head, hoping to get one more glance of her, but his view of the Black Lake is gone. "Did you ask her to?"

"No," Remus says. "We didn't even think of it, actually. She just came up to us about an hour ago before her session started, handed us these vials, and said you two would probably need it."

"Well, cheers to Evans," Sirius says, lifting his empty vial in salute. He pauses on the main staircase up to Gryffindor Tower and begins sniffing the air. The others stop as well and turn to watch him. Suddenly, he turns to look at James, a look of horror marring his handsome face. "Is that stench coming from us?"

Remus laughs, his arm falling from James's shoulder as he wheezes for breath – the full moon is only a few days away and already taking its toll on him, James remembers. "I wasn't going to comment, but…"

"Yes," Peter says firmly. "You both reek."

"Bollocks." James lifts his arm to sniff himself and grimaces. "I guess four days of a drunk gives you more than just a hangover."

"Especially if you forget to shower," Peter says.

"Well, we didn't have any towels in the new flat," James says defensively.

"Or beds or chairs or dishes or a couch," Sirius adds contemplatively. "Really, all we had was Firewhisky."

"Wait, what new flat?" Remus interrupts.

"Oh, didn't we mention?" Sirius says with a smile that is a shadow of his usual carefree grin. "We got a flat."

James doesn't resume Head Boy duties that night, instead opting to track down Damocles Belby on Monday morning on his way down to breakfast. Damocles, Remus had informed James last night, had been acting as Head Boy in his absence and hadn't been doing a very good job of it.

"Constantly complaining, the great prat," Remus had told him. "Lily wanted to kill him, you could just see it on her face."

"Thank Merlin you're back," Damocles says when he sees James approaching. "I'll be honest, I was a bit disappointed when I didn't get the badge this summer, but now I've had a taste of it, I must say I'm glad I don't have to be Head Boy any longer. It's nearly impossible to find enough hours in the day, isn't it?"

"Yes, it can be." His smile is stretched thin over lips that are unused to smiling lately and he can tell from the awkward expression on Damocles's face that it obviously looks forced, so he lets it fall from his face.

"Right," Damocles says, looking regretful now. "Listen, Potter… About what happened, if you need to talk about it…"

"I'm fine," James says a bit more firmly than he intended. "But thank you. If you don't mind, I'll just take those point deductions and detention forms off your hands. I'm famished for breakfast."

"Of course!" Damocles reaches into his bag and pulls out a thick stack of slips that the Prefects refer to as D-and-Ds. He hesitates when he sees James's raised eyebrows. "Er -there's been a bit of an upswing in misconduct the past week. Did you need a copy of the patrol schedules as well?"

"No, thank you. I got them off Remus last night." He takes the stack from Damocles, slips them into his bag, and nods appreciatively at the other boy. "Thank you for stepping up for me while I was gone."

"Of course, Potter. You would do it for any one of us, I know." Damocles says just as one of his friends calls his name from inside the Great Hall. "Listen, it's good to have you back! Let me know if there is anything you need."

"Have a good day, Damocles," James says and they both head into the Great Hall, splitting off to head for their own tables.

It's early yet, so there aren't too many people in the Great Hall – the Gryffindor table is all but empty, which James doesn't mind one bit. He's got quite a bit of work to catch up on and the fewer people around to distract him, the better. Deciding not to push his luck when he sees Penelope Greyson eyeing him from the Ravenclaw table and looking like she wants to speak with him, James grabs a stack of toast, an apple, and a large pile of sausage, wrapping the food carefully in a large napkin and securing it in his bag before he heads right back out of the Great Hall.

He winds up in the Prefect's common room as he figures it to be his best bet at solitude. To his surprise, someone is already sitting at the center of the single long table, rich auburn hair pouring over her face as she hunches over a report. Lily looks up when he pulls out the chair across from her, eyes widening in surprise when she sees who has joined her.

"Morning," he says after the briefest awkward moment. She replies in kind, her voice soft and hushed, as James hefts his bag onto the chair next to him. He withdraws the food he took from the Great Hall and sets it in the middle of the table. "Breakfast?"

Lily hesitates, then grabs the apple from the pile. James doesn't mind that it's the only one – he doesn't even particularly like apples or know why he grabbed it. "Thanks."

James nods, already rummaging through his bag; a second later, he pulls out his own stack of D-and-Ds. He sighs, eyes Lily over the table, and asks, "Care to tell me what the hell happened here?"

She looks up, sees that his pile rivals hers in size, and her face falls.

"After news hit of what happened last week in Diagon Alley, our push for unity just sort of… crumbled. It's not just Slytherins vs Gryffindors anymore. There seem to be little sects in each House of people who were just waiting for something to happen. Even a lot of the purebloods who I know don't support what happened have stopped sticking up for muggleborns. Everyone's afraid of what will happen if they do."

"What's being done about it?" James asks.

Lily lifts a shoulder in a helpless sort of shrug. "I don't know. I had a meeting with Professor Dumbledore on Friday and he basically told me that it's out of our hands. Things have escalated so badly that he can't in good conscience rely on us to be the ones who deal with it all, so the unification front is now more on the professors than on us."

"Blood hell." James is not surprised to see that Lily looks as downtrodden as he feels. They did, after all, both independently think up the same plan for the unification of the houses. This feels a lot like failure. Both are silent for a moment before James sighs. "And what about the patrol schedules? I noticed we've started sticking to our classmates within our own houses."

"Oh, well." Lily drops her gaze to the worn quill in her hand, looking even more defeated than before. "I don't think my plan to diversify worked out very well. I realized a pattern last week. Know how lately we've both been having to cover a lot of patrols?"

James nods, a bit reluctant to hear her discovery.

"Well, they're only switching on certain partners." Lily pauses for a minute to shuffle through her own back, then pulls out another piece of parchment, which she passes to him across the table. It reads:

Gryffindor:

Seventh Year – James Potter / Lily Evans / Remus Lupin

Sixth Year – Martin Shore / Mary Bradshaw

Fifth Year – Garrett King / Janice Lopez

Ravenclaw:

Seventh Year – Damocles Belby / Dana Howell

Sixth Year – Robbie Jones / Margaret Brantley

Fifth Year – Devyn Thomas / Amelia Bones

Hufflepuff:

Seventh Year – Theon Ramsay / Emma Johnson

Sixth Year – Andrew Davis / Brie Holmes

Fifth Year – Nick Proud / Hannah Sellers

Slytherin:

Seventh Year – Rick Havershom / Andrea Maelstrom

Sixth Year – Alec Stone / Samantha Garrisson

Fifth Year – Jonathan Danzey / Sarah Danzey

There are a confusing number of lines drawn connecting names, little x's through some, and no small amount of scratch-outs. He raises an eyebrow at her and she takes the parchment back from him on an annoyed huff.

"Robbie won't patrol with Garrett, Theon won't be partnered with Amelia, Brie isn't even pretending that she's not avoiding Remus, Alec can't stand Dana, and Hannah is the only one who hasn't switched on Nick."

"How did I not glean that from your frenzied scribbles?" James says and is awarded an eye-roll for his sarcasm. He gestures to the stack of D-and-Ds in front of him and asks, "Is it due to more of this... political disagreement? Or do they just not get along?"

"I think some of it is related to what's happening outside of Hogwarts," Lily says, folding up her list and shoving it back in her bag. "But mostly I think they just don't get along. Nick certainly isn't a xenocidal maniac; he's just incredibly annoying. Theon doesn't like Amelia because she gave his little sister a detention and refused to throw it out. Alec may dislike Dana for her parentage, but he's never been daft enough to be rude to me for mine, so I can't say for certain. Remus and Brie, well, that's really no mystery, is it? And as for Robbie and Garrett, I have no idea what's going on there. Garrett's a sweetheart and Robbie doesn't seem to have an issue with anyone else."

"Robbie used to date one of Garrett's best friends, Sasha, you know? But they broke up about a month ago and Robbie's been a bit sensitive over the whole matter," James says, then shoves an entire piece of toast into his mouth at once.

Lily watches him for a moment with an expression of mixed fascination and repulsion before she shakes her head and takes a decidedly dainty bite of her apple. "How do you know that?"

"Pete keeps us all very well informed on school gossip," James says once he manages to swallow his toast. They watch each other across the table for a second and then James sighs and fetches a quill and inkpot from his bag. "All right. Let's see what these idiots have been up to."

After half an hour of sorting through his half of the week's D-and-D's, James is feeling both depressed and annoyed. On the one hand, he's got such awful reports to file as Andrew Davis's account of a skirmish between a fifth-year Hufflepuff and a group of older Slytherins and Ravenclaws, which landed the Hufflepuff boy in the Hospital Wing for three nights. On the other hand, he's got Sarah Danzey's write-up of a first year Gryffindor girl who she caught moments after curfew trying to get back to Gryffindor Tower after spending the evening with her older sister in Ravenclaw Tower.

Finally, James comes across one that makes him laugh.

"What is it?" Lily asks immediately before James can stifle his laughter. Clearly, she is eager for another break from this depressing task because she waits, reaching for a bit of sausage while he gets himself under control.

"Remus," he finally chokes out, shaking his head. When Lily only looks more curious, James hands her the write-up. "He wrote up Peter."

"Peter Pettigrew, the disgrace of House Gryffindor, was caught shirtless, snoring like an ancient one, chocolate smearing his face, surrounded by clearly stolen sweets wrappers. This rat stands accused of littering, noise complaint, and theft of his best mate's secret stash. Also, he farts in his sleep. A suitable punishment would be expulsion," Lily reads aloud, giggling a bit as she finishes up and hands the write-up back to James. "It's clearly a joke, but it's a good one."

"Only half a joke, I think," James says, tossing the write-up in his small discard pile. "Pete likely did just what he said, and Rem is very territorial over his chocolate stash. Not to mention, he has a tendency to get a bit tetchy at times."

"Well, he's got good reason," Lily says. James eyes her suspiciously; Lily holds his gaze, a somber expression on her face. Then, she smiles teasingly and tosses a bit of toast at his face. "He's got chocolate-thieving sleep-farters for roommates."

The laugh bursts out of him quite unexpectedly and he shakes his head emphatically. "Not me! I'll have you know I stopped farting in my sleep back in second year. Through a strict diet and exercise regimen, I was able to kick the habit. Quidditch really helped there."

"Bullshit," Lily snorts. James retorts by throwing a whole piece of sausage at her, grinning when it goes in her shirt. For a moment, Lily looks angry as she digs the greasy food from her bra, then she laughs when she spots James's grin. "You're lucky I find you so cute, Potter."

Her comment registers at the same time for both of them; their grins slide off their faces like Stinksap. The flirty, easygoing atmosphere is immediately replaced by the familiar awkwardness they have endured all year as they both stare at each other uncertainly.

For the first time all week, James thinks back to the conversation they were trying to have when Professor McGonagall interrupted them. If he remembers correctly, which he may or may not – the whole past week is a bit of a blur for him –, Lily seemed to have been preparing to confess some sort of feelings for him. He opens his mouth to say – something – when Lily cuts him off.

"We shouldn't," she says, looking down at her hands briefly before forcing herself to look back up at him. "Talk about it, I mean. Not now. You've got so much already on your mind. This can wait. This should wait."

James can't decide if he thinks it would be better if the conversation were had now or later, and his indecision tells him that she is probably right: it should wait. He nods and they fall into awkward silence, returning to their D-and-Ds.

"Hey, Evans?" he says after a moment. Lily looks up and James doesn't meet her gaze as he runs his quill through his fingers. "Why did you give Peter that Hangover Potion for Sirius and me? I mean, how did you know we'd need it?"

Lily is silent for a moment and James glances up to see that she is absent-mindedly scribbling on her parchment, a somber expression on her face. "Because… when my father died, I got completely bladdered. Never felt so ill in my life as I did the next day, and that was after only one night of it."

"I'm sorry," James says, watching her as she continues scratching random marks onto the parchment in front of her. "I didn't know… When did he die?"

There is another moment of silence, and James thinks for a minute that she may get up and leave, but then she seems to decide that she wouldn't mind talking about it. "Last year. Right before end of term." She doesn't look up at him, but James can tell from her distant tone that her face is carefully blank. "He was really sick all year. I knew it was going to happen. I was having a rough time of it for a while."

And had used him as a distraction, he realizes. For the most fleeing moment, he is angry with her all over again, but then he remembers that she lost her father. Right around the time they got into that awful row. All at once, the anger drains out of him and he feels ill and… somewhat guilty.

"I didn't know," he says hoarsely.

"I didn't tell you," she says simply, finally meeting his gaze. "It's not your fault. I should have told you instead of…" she trails off and swears. "We weren't supposed to do this right now."

Neither of them speaks for a while, both pretending to sort through their D-and-Ds but not really doing anything.

"Sorry about your dad," James finally says.

"Thanks," Lily says. "Sorry about your parents."

For the next hour before their first lesson of the day, they work in silence. James doesn't think either one of them was actually talking about their parents when they exchanged apologies, but he thinks they're both okay with that.

"Hey, Evans," he says as they walk out the door to head to Defense Against the Dark Arts.

"Yes, Potter?" Lily says softly.

Thanks for not forcing the conversation, he wants to say. Thanks for letting me laugh with you for a minute there. And you look very pretty, by the way. He wants to say all of that, but he knows he can't. He shakes his head.

"Thanks for the potion," he says, but he's not really talking about Hangover Potion any more than they were actually talking about their parents.

She looks at him, all soft green eyes and smiles, and he thinks she understands. "Anytime, Potter."

—

About a week before Christmas Hols, James nearly kills a bloke. He is just leaving his Transfiguration final to head down to the Quidditch pitch for one last practice before the match against Ravenclaw on Saturday when someone trips and falls into him. Instinctively, he reaches out and catches the person before they fall to the ground, surprised to find his hands on Lily's waist. At first, he thinks it was an accident. Then, he recognizes the angry look on her face.

"You okay?" He starts to pull his hands away from her waist, but someone else deliberately shoves him in the back and it's his turn to stumble. Still holding Lily around the waist, he catches his balance on the stone wall to his left. The breath leaves his lungs when Lily subsequently falls against his chest.

"Still pining after this Mudblood, Potter?" A cold, taunting voice asks. Lily stiffens in his arms when James turns to scowl at Trevor Mackey, one of a small group of Slytherins who seems to have followed him and Lily out of the Transfiguration classroom. He shifts so that Lily is behind him; immediately, Lily steps forward so that she is level with him and James scowls.

"What a waste of perfectly pure blood," Amber Cartwright says haughtily, her eyes trailing James's body appraisingly.

He ignores her, focusing instead on the third Slytherin cornering them, a truly awful boy named Fletcher Anders, whose wand is drawn.

"Unfortunate," Anders says, stalking slowly forward, "that he'll likely go the same way as his parents. A disgrace to the wizarding world, the whole Potter family. Wait, you are the whole Potter family now, aren't you?"

Something in James snaps. In an instant, his wand is in his hand and, with a quick flick of his wrist, Anders's wand is on the opposite end of the corridor, his back is to the wall, and James's wand tip is digging into the soft flesh of his neck.

The corridor goes completely still and silent, but James doesn't even notice. He leans in close to Anders's ear and speaks in a low growl.

"My parents were old and ill and they still managed to kill six of your kind before they went down. I'm neither old nor ill and you're just one idiot asshole."

In a surprising show of wisdom, Anders says nothing, but the fear flashing in his eyes makes James grin, slow and wide and feral.

"Oh, you're terrified of me. Good call."

"Everyone clear out!" Lily suddenly calls in a commanding tone, snapping James to attention. He looks around to find that she's a bit winded, but she's got her wand drawn on Cartwright and Mackey. There is a small crowd around the five of them and Lily glares around at all of the bystanders. "Now! Not you two."

Cartwright and Mackey, both a bit bloody in the face, slump back against the wall several meters down from James and Anders. Anders shifts a bit and James turns his attention back to him, his wand pressing even further into his throat; Anders flinches as James glares at him.

"James, stop," Lily says softy and she's right next to him. She puts a hand on his back. "This isn't how we handle things."

"Did you hear what he said?" James says, still glaring into Anders' wide, terrified, dark brown eyes set deep in his pale white face.

"Yes, I did," Lily says and her hand travels up his back to his shoulder. "It was awful, but you're not fifteen anymore, James. You don't have to use your wand for everything."

"You want me to just let him go, give him a detention, dock a few points?" James says. His wand must press forward because Anders jolts a bit and his eyes snap shut as a whimper escapes his throat. "If this were a year from now, he wouldn't just be flinging insults, he'd be trying to kill us."

"Well, a year from now, I won't stop you from doing what you must. But today, we are students at Hogwarts. You are Head Boy and he is nothing but an ignorant child. Today, we're going to give him detention, we're going to dock points, we're going to write a report, and I am going to personally hand that report to Professor Slughorn and he is going to have several long words with his students." Lily's hand trails lightly down his wand arm to circle his wrist. "Lower your wand, James."

James turns his head to look at her and is immediately swallowed up in the forest of her eyes. She is looking back at him, but her wand is still trained on Cartwright and Mackey and James has no doubt that if they so much as flinch, she is prepared to hex them. The instant he lowers his wand, Lily's hand still encircling his wrist, Anders ducks out from under James's arm with something that sounds a bit like a sob.

"Ten points each from Slytherin and a detention a piece for attacking your classmates," Lily says firmly. "I can assure you that Professor Slughorn will have a more severe punishment for you as well when I inform him that you attacked his favorite student. Now retrieve your wands and run before I change my mind and help the Head Boy send you all to St. Mungo's."

As soon as he hears three sets of footsteps scurrying away, James all but collapses into Lily. The sobs that wrack his body take him by surprise, but Lily's arms encircle him even as she maneuvers him a bit down the hall and into an empty classroom. Once she's got the door locked behind them, she falters under his weight and they slide to the floor.

"Oh, love, have you cried yet for them?" Lily says, her voice soft and quiet and very near his ear. Her hands go to his hair when he shakes his head and she draws his head down to rest on her chest, smoothing his hair and making soft, comforting noises as he cries on her.

"It's not all right," she whispers, her voice very close to breaking. "I know it's not all right, but you're not alone with it. I'm here."

He doesn't know how long they stay there, but they are still wrapped around each other long after his sobs have stopped echoing in the classroom. He lifts his head from Lily's chest to see soft, warm, sweet eyes watching him.

Trying to disguise his acute embarrassment, James sits up straight and scoots away from her a bit. Resigned, he lifts his robe to wipe his face; there really is no dignified way to wipe tears and snot from your face.

"Er – sorry," he says, his voice rough from his sobs. "I didn't mean to lose it like that."

He doesn't know if he's apologizing for nearly killing Fletcher Anders or for sobbing all over her for several long minutes. Maybe both. He's not sure it really matters.

Lily shakes her head and lifts a hand to his cheek. He turns his face into her warmth. Belatedly, he realizes that she's wiping away a few tears he missed.

"Feel free to cry on me any time," Lily says in an attempt at a light voice. It really isn't funny, and they both know it, but James forces himself to laugh anyway. He can't stand the tension in the room. "James, I want you to know that you can talk to me. About anything. You parents. What happened last year. Even if it's not what I want it to be, we can talk about last year."

"Lily."

"I'm not saying now. We don't have to talk about it now," she says quickly. "But I'm just saying that whenever you feel ready to talk about it, we can."

"All right," he says. "Thanks."

They're staring at each other again; sometimes he thinks all they do is stare at each other these days. He's sure his eyes are red and probably still full of tears, but hers are, too, and he wonders if she's a sympathetic crier or if she was crying for her father while he was crying for his parents. Or maybe she was crying for them, for what they went through last year, for what it could have been, and what it ended up being.

He's not sure how it happens, but suddenly they aren't staring at each other anymore and the small distance he put between them is gone and Lily is kneeling with her knees on either side of his lap and her hands are under his shirt and in his hair and everywhere at once. His glasses are askew on his face and his tongue is in her mouth and holy fuck did he miss the taste of her. His hands are under her skirt and on her chest and tugging at her knickers. She moans into his mouth and his fingers are slick with her desire and he realizes just what they're doing all at once.

He shoves her away from him rougher than he intends and it's desire mixed with a bit of anger than has him panting and staring at her through wide eyes. She falls flat on her ass with a small "oomph!" and stares back at him.

Her eyes widen and her hands come up to her mouth when she realizes what just happened. Her eyes turn glassy and she gasps and shakes her head. "I'm sorry. I messed up. I moved too soon. I didn't mean to."

"Please, this is exactly what you wanted," James accuses. It's irrational, probably, but he's suddenly more than a little angry; he's livid, and maybe a bit embarrassed still on top of that. "You always did exactly this last year. You'd mess with my head a bit and then use me to fill some void in your life."

"Use you?" Lily says, offended, and the tears that sprang to her eyes when he shoved her away begin to fall. "I don't recall you ever complaining when your dick was wet."

"You're crazy if you think I'm going to let you use my feelings for you against me again," James says, completely ignoring her last point because she's right and he doesn't want to acknowledge any valid points she may have at the moment.

"I'm not using you!" Lily shouts, tears thick in her voice and on her face.

James shoves to his feet and throws his arms wide to indicate the room they are in. "No? Well, then tell me why we're once again in a completely isolated space and you're showing me the only affection you have all year!"

"Well, for fuck's sake." Lily scurries to her feet, hands on her hips in an attempt to look intimidating, but tears are still streaming down her face and James absolutely dwarfs her, so the effect is lost on him. "Are we supposed to fuck in front of a crowd?"

"No, of course not! But, damn it, Lily, sex isn't the only kind of affection you can show a person!" He throws his hands up and turns away from her, pacing in front of her. "When it's the only time you ever touch me or have a soft word for me, that's when it's clear that you're using me!"

"I am not using you," Lily repeats, tears thick in her voice and on her face. "I maybe did a bit last year, but I didn't mean to! I wasn't thinking! I'm sorry."

James doesn't acknowledge her for a moment, too focused on trying to calm himself. After a moment, he shakes his head, trying in vain to clear it, and turns to her. "Lily, I told you on the train last year I can't do this again."

"I made a mistake, James." Her voice is quiet again, and James refuses the thought that she sounds broken. "What, you've never made a mistake?"

Even in his anger, James can't pretend that he's never made a mistake. He's James Potter, after all, and everyone knows that he's got a plethora of huge mistakes under his belt.

"Fuck. Fuck! Fucking hell!" he shouts, slamming his hand down on a desk and ignoring the way Lily jumps. He takes a quick breath and forces himself to speak more calmly. "I can't do this. I don't actually know how late I am for Quidditch practice, but I'm sure I've set a new goal with it. The team will be so impressed with their captain. I've got to go."

"James, please."

And now it's Lily's sobs echoing in the empty classroom as he storms out, but he tries to convince himself that he can't be fucked to care.

—

The next day, James hears his name being called in the Entrance Hall on the way to breakfast. A quick glance over his shoulder confirms that Lily Evans is hurrying along behind him; he doesn't wait for her and ignores her when she calls his name a second time. She catches up to him as he's entering the Great Hall, but James shakes off the hand she places on his arm, narrowly missing whacking his broomstick on the doorframe as he does so – after a disastrous practice the previous afternoon, James called an emergency practice for today. He has ten minutes before he has to be on the pitch and he's not interested in being late again.

"James Potter, don't you dare walk away from me! I am trying to talk to you!" Lily says loudly.

The Hall goes silent. No one knows exactly what has transpired between them, but everyone suspects something and the cautious way they have interacted in public thus far this year has not gone unnoticed. Everyone has been waiting for some sort of explosion.

"Why? What is so important that you have to say to me right now?" James stops in the middle of the room and turns to her with a sigh. Her unexpected proximity has him drawing back just a bit, but she follows him, not lessening the space between them, but eradicating it.

And there, in the middle of the Great Hall, in front of the entire school, Lily Evans kisses James Potter. It is hot and it is fierce and James actually fears for a moment that he will faint from the overwhelming amount of emotion Lily is pouring into him. Her hands fist in his Quidditch jersey and in his hair and James angles his head just slightly to make it easier on her.

"I'm in love with you, you bloody fool." Her eyes are narrowed in sincerity, her lip trembling as she stares up at him. Her breath hitches and her mouth opens as if to say something, but closes resolutely almost immediately. She drops her gaze from his and it isn't until James feels her hands sliding away from him that he realizes his hands haven't moved from his sides and he is still clutching his broomstick; he barely responded to her kiss at all, and now he can't seem to make himself respond to her words either.

Lily stands there a moment longer, waiting, her gaze still downturned. He can see the insecurity and the doubt and the humiliation on her flaming face, and he wants to say something, but can't. After a long, awkward pause, she lifts her chin, meets his gaze with steely resolve visible in her teary eyes, and turns to walk, straight-backed and proud, from the silent, gaping Hall. Even the professors at the Head Table are staring in surprise.

For a long moment, James is frozen in place, staring after her. Then he springs into action. Thougtlessly, he throws his broomstick down, a first, and leaps forward to cover the short distance she has put between them. When he grabs her around the waist, she spins around and the vulnerable look on her face has his insides turning to mush.

His hands slide up from her waist to cup her face and his mouth descends on hers as her arms encircle his waist and pull their bodies as close together as possible. He kisses her long and tenderly, more tenderly than he has ever been allowed to kiss her in the past. It is far from the most intense kiss they have shared, but it is definitely his favorite so far.

When they pull apart, they are both grinning. Gryffindor table erupts into raucous applause, and several students from the other houses join in; James and Lily's first public kiss has been long-awaited by more than just Gryffindor House, after all.

He thinks he's made it pretty clear to her, but just for good measure, James bends to bring his mouth near her ear so that she can hear him over the deafening din. "I'm in love with you, too. Have been for a long time."

Lily buries her face in James's chest and he catches sight of his mates over her head. Sirius is standing in the center of the table shooting off red and gold sparks towards the ceiling with his wand, Peter is bouncing in his seat, cheering louder than anyone else, and Remus is grinning wider than James has ever seen him.

"You want to get out of here?" James asks Lily quietly.

"After all this fuss about public displays of affection, you want to go be private," Lily teases him. He grins and brushes her hair out of her face.

"Well, there's something I wanted almost as much as publicity last year," James reminds her. She looks genuinely confused and it's so adorable that James can't help but kiss her briefly on the lips. "A bed."

The smile that spreads across her face mirrors his own as she back out of his arms to take his hand in her own. "Yes, I seem to recall a conversation about a bed."

"And how do you feel about that?" James asks.

"I'm amenable," she says with a casual shrug. But the way that her hand tightens on his as she turns to lead him from the Great Hall suggests that she is just as eager as he.

Later, when they are curled around each other in his bed and neither of them has a clue where their clothes are, Lily tilts her head to place an open-mouthed kiss in the hollow beneath his ear. He thought he was completely sated, but when he tongue flicks out to tickle his earlobe, he begins to second-guess himself.

Lily shifts so that she is straddling him with their bare chests pressed together. "James," she says in a low, husky voice.

"Yes, love?" he gasps as she lifts her hips to bring him into her. His hands fly to her hips as she straightens over him.

"You're very late for Quidditch again." They both burst into hysterics.

All of the stress of the last few months melts away when he is in Lily's arms. He is sure that he will be exhausted and stressed and short-tempered and over-worked again quite soon, but at the moment, he can put all of his other responsibilities aside and lose himself in loving her.

Lily Evans is fire. It's in her hair, her heart, her eyes, and her veins; it simply makes up her entire being, and James knows his father - God rest his soul - would approve whole-heartedly of the woman who has captured his heart.

FINAL A/N – That's all, folks! It's finally officially over. Do you remember when this story was supposed to be 2 chapters and a max of 15k words? I sure as shit do.
Again, I just want to apologize for the wait; when I write multi-chapter stories I tend to lose focus and wander away from them for a while. With my attention span, I'm definitely better suited to oneshots. Alas, my oneshots always morph into fifty thousand word stories, which definitely require multiple chapters. This one in particular really got away from me and I think it may have overwhelmed me that it wasn't going to plan, so much so that I had to step away for a year and a half.
Sorry if it bothered you that there wasn't any super detailed smut in this last installment (and hardly any Lily in the first half of it). I just didn't feel like it fit with the direction it all went in.

For any of you who follow me on here, don't be afraid of my uploading schedule for any future stories I may post. I have a new (to me) and foolproof method for keeping on schedule called "prewrite the whole damn thing and post as you edit."

Thank you to all of you who stuck with me and didn't abandon this story even though you probably thought I did. I really appreciate each and every one of you who read this story.
Sending love and thoughts of peace and safety to you all!

If you want to follow me on tumblr, I'm jamespotterismyhomeboy. I reblog a lot of Jily posts and general Harry Potter things, and recently I've been posting some fun little headcanons.

Because I actually feel really badly about the unannounced hiatus I took (and because it's really fun for me), here are some little fun facts I'd like to share with y'all about my writing process for this monster of a chapter.

Fun fact #1: When I walked away from this about a year ago, I probably had about 6 thousand words. I randomly decided to start writing it again about two weeks ago and it ended up at about 22,500 words before editing, which made it even longer. So, there's that.

Fun fact #2: The very last scene where they finally get together in the Great Hall was the very first scene I had planned when I started writing Playing the Hero. I rewrote the scene about 5 times before I settled on the current version, but the basic layout remained the same.

Fun fact #3: The (M)End parts 1 and 2 were meant to be one chapter, but when I reached 15k words and wasn't even close to finished, I figured I might have to split it up. Luckily, it made sense to break it up at the almost-exact middle.

Fun fact #4: I wrote this chapter (including part 1) ridiculously out of order. I started with the last scene, then moved on to the first scene, then I wrote the scene where the boys bring Penelope's infatuation with James to light. The last scene I wrote was the fifteen minute disaster date with her in Hogsmeade. This is the first time I have ever written a chapter in such a disjointed fashion.

Fun fact #5: When James is walking into Hogsmeade, I originally planned on having Remus accompany him because Remus was the only one of the boys who had actually spent any time alone with Penelope before, but I realized that I needed James to have a solo conversation with Peter. We had the Prongs and Moony scene on the train, the few small Prongsfoot moments scattered throughout, and the Marauders scene in the Great Hall. As a reader, I hate when people ignore Peter as the fourth member of the group, so I couldn't allow myself to do it as a writer, either. I'm actually pretty happy with the way it turned out. Let's be real, guys, Peter is definitely the gossip of the group.

Fun fact #6: I wrote just about all of "The (M)End part 2" the old fashioned way: using a pen and notebook. Then I typed it all up at the end of each day and edited and fleshed it out a bit as I typed. It was pretty damn effective.

Fun fact #7: I was so determined to get this finished and posted that I started waking up at 5:30 in the morning just so I could get a couple hours of writing in before work. I would also write through all of my lunch breaks, and as soon as I got home from work. All in all, it's been a very productive two weeks for me. Lol

That's it, guys! That's all I've got for you. I hope to have another new story posted relatively soon! In the meantime, feel free to come visit me on tumblr. I seem to be there a lot lately. : )