Dealing with the Worst
Chapter 1 Epic Quest
By: Major144
Disclaimer I do not own Deadpool or Marvel Comics. This is just a story for fun.
In an a dirty apartment room in New York Deadpool and Bob were seating on a couch eating chimichangas and playing the Deadpool video game from High Moon Studios on a Playstation 3.
"Man Mr. Wilson I still can't believe you kidnapped some employes from High Moon Studios and forced them to make a video game starring you." Said Bob with admiration.
"I know I'm freaking awesome! Just goes to show you Bob my boy you can get anything done in this world with hard work and by threatening people with weapons grade explosives. Now watch me pone these Sinister clones!" Said Deadpool.
Suddenly the room started violently shaking.
"What's going on?!" Shouted a panicked Bob.
"Probably the fat couple upstairs making out again!" Said Deadpool as he grabbed a broom and started banging on the celling with it. "Hey you stupid hippos stop with the mad love your going split New York apart if you keep this up!" Complained Deadpool.
The shaking continued more violently!
"Oh man it's the end of the world!" Shouted Bob.
Inside Deadpool's head the two of the voices in his head were arguing about what was causing the shaking. There names were Wade and Wilson.
Wade was the crazier of the two, while Wilson was the more logical of the two.
"I bet it's a giant fifty foot women with giant tits!" Said Wade excitedly.
"Don't get you hopes up. It's probably the plot of this story fixing to come smashing in or teleport into the living room." Said Wilson.
The room continued to shake. Bob continued screaming. Deadpool stood up annoyed and started shouting at the sky.
"Come on mister Fan fiction writer we get that your trying to build up suspense! Just move on to the story!" He shouted.
"Who are you talking to?" Shouted Bob over the shaking.
"The writer of this story!" Replied Deadpool as he turned back to yelling at the sky. "Move along with the story man! Get with the typing on your keyboard, iPad or whatever your using!" Shouted Deadpool.
In another reality a young man sat at a Barnes & Nobles looking at the words on his iPad screen.
"That's weird I just typed that, but I really don't remember typing it. Oh well. Alright Deadpool here comes the plot." Said the man as he continued typing.
Back in the Marvel Universe the shaking stopped.
"Glad that's over." Said Bob.
Suddenly there was a huge flash of light in the living room! Bob screamed and dived behind the couch. Deadpool staggered back blinded by the light. He quickly pulled out one of his katanas and a machine gun ready for battle.
"Greetings Deadpool!" Said a deep voice.
"Het Watcher." Said Deadpool as he lowered his weapons.
In front of him was a bald man that stood about eight feet tall. He wore a white toga with gold trimming, a blue cape, and white boots. He had on a blue sash with a little cartoon head of Deadpool on it. The sash read "I Deadpool the MULTIVERSE". On his right hand there was a foam finger with a Deadpool symbol and #1. On his giant head there was a hat with a Deadpool symbol on it.
"Deadpool I've have come to tell you an urgent matter that concerns the universe!" Said the Watcher. There was a loud rumble from his stomach. "But first may I use your bathroom?" He asked.
"Um sure. It's down the hall and to the right." Said Deadpool pointing down the hall.
"Thank you." Said The Watcher as he walked down the hall.
Bob poked his head out from behind the couch.
"Who the hell was that?" He asked.
"That was the Watcher. His a huge fanboy of mine. He usually tells me something important and then I go on a freaking awesome adventure to save the universe or something." Explained Deadpool.
"Cool." Said Bob.
There was a loud flushing sound and the Watcher came back into the living room.
"Curse you Galactic Burger and your burgers!" Muttered The Watcher.
"Um your were fixing to tell me something important." Said Deadpool.
"Oh right." Said the Watcher as he put on a serious face. "Deadpool a mysterious evil force has recruited ten of the worst villains in Marvel history and is-" Began the Watcher
"Wait are we talking about villains that are so evil that they will destroy and enslave everyone in the universe or are we talking about villains so terrible lame that their very existence threatens the popularity of the Marvel universe?" Asked Deadpool.
"The second one." Said The Watcher.
"Ok." Said Deadpool.
"As I was saying a mysterious evil force has recruited ten of the worst villains in Marvel history and is using them to drain the popularity out of all the Marvel Universe by making these villains appear more in the comics and trying to make them seem relevant and important. If this continues the Marvel Universe will become bad and bland." Explained The Watcher.
"Shish that's bad. That'll make my life boring if the rest of the universe turns bland! Wait if the universe turns bland I'll have to get a real job that doesn't involve killing people! My chimichangas will be tasteless!" Shouted Deadpool in dismay.
"So exactly what are you guys talking about? What are Marvel Comics?" Asked Bob completely confused.
"Let me explain something to you Bobo my boy. Our entire universe is a comic written and drawn by people in a whole different universe. To them were fiction. We're the entertainment of the reading world!" Said Deadpool proudly.
"Um ok." Said Bob still looking utterly confused.
"So whose these lame-o villains that need killing, cause theirs a ton of them." Said Deadpool.
The Watcher raised his hand and laptop computer appeared displaying a YouTube video from labeled Top Ten Worst Marvel Villains.
Deadpool grabbed some pen and paper and started writing the villains names down. He looked at the list
10. The Boomerang
9. The Human Top AKA Whirlwind
8. Scarecrow
7. Stilt Man
6. Hatemonger
5. Masked Matador
4. Egghead
3. Leap-Frog
2. The Slug
1. Asbestos Lady
"Alright got our targets. Lets go kick some lame-o ass!" Declared Deadpool.
"Good luck Deadpool may the popularity and awesomeness be with you." Said The Watcher as he vanished in a flash of light.
"Come on Bob were going on an EPIC ADVENTURE to kill!" Shouted Deadpool.
"Coming Mr. Wilson." Said Bob.
The two of them ran out of the apartment to go on their killing crusade.
To be continued