~A Hopeless Save~
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There were particular times when Lucy would feel at absolute bliss, like nothing could ruin the feeling she had at the moment except for the worst case scenario she could imagine. The temperature was just right, anything and everything that touched her felt like she was snuggling her own personal cloud, and she could honestly live like that forever.
But then, there were also times when she would think, why now? Why at this moment? Everything felt so good, and then something always has to ruin it. Always.
Lucy rubbed up against her personal cloud, curling up into a ball and sighing from the sweet feeling. Her knees banged up against something pretty sturdy, making whatever it was shift a bit as well. It wasn't an unpleasant feeling, but startling? Yes.
She cracked open her eyes like how someone would open an old cellar door, bright shines of light flooding in, causing your eyes to spin and cloud that made you wait till they cleared up. Well sunshine, you've officially ruined her bliss once again. She sighed out her nose and tugged her cloud over her head, blocking out whatever light that came from her window. Really, whose great idea was it to put her bed next to a window?
She had almost forgotten about the mysterious presence in her bed next to her. At first she just assured herself it was the wall that lay next to her, but no wall had ever felt like that. Then she had half a mind just to shrug it off and return to whatever fantasy of absolute bliss she had left running in her mind, but she knew she shouldn't. That would just be absurd.
There was a possibility that there was some random being watching her sleep right now, so chances are that she probably shouldn't take them. Her muscles were still sore and the fresh cut on her side was still sensitive from the last mission she had returned to from a while ago. She wasn't exactly in the best state to fight right now, not at all actually.
Well, better safe than sorry.
Lucy felt her knee bump up against the figure again, yet no movement came from it. She peeked her head above her blanket, squinting at the sunlight that now came in contact with her eyes and gazed around.
Could she really of not guessed?
It kind of came funny to her how unsuspecting she was to this situation. Out of all people to be scared when they felt someone else in her bed, she should be the last.
She let her head fall to the pillow above her, her eyes never leaving the boy that laid next to her. He was on his stomach, his face buried in her pillow with his arms wrapped around it tightly. His pink hair was as wild as always, natural and untamed. Kind of like him.
She smiled unconsciously at the thought. The blanket that covered them both had fallen down to his mid-back, exposing his bare back, and all the scratches that were ingrained in it. Most of them were partially covered, but the handiwork seemed sloppy and uncaring. Obviously his work.
She supposes she does have a slight reason to be surprised by this appearance out of all times. She hasn't even seen him in weeks, he's been out on some mission with Grey from the Masters orders. She has full reasons to believe that half of his wounds were from Grey instead of the actual enemy. Classic.
Lucy shifted over by him, scooting closer gently in case of awakening him. She put a hand on his scarred back and rested her head by his arm, closing her eyes again. It was sort of unnerving to see him like this in his sleep. Usually he's loud and snoring and will kick her off the bed in a split second, but here he's completely still. He didn't as much as flinch when she touched him, he must of been knocked out pretty hard.
Her fingers traced the small lines crossing over his back, drifting over the old scars of holes and gapes. It still amazed her, that sight. Once she had first saw the scars she nearly freaked out to him, frantically asking him if he had gotten shot by tank or something to make that much of an impact on him. He, of course, gave a boisterous laugh to her and waved her off. He explained to her that they were just teeth marks from Igneel, from when he would annoy him, so he would just pick him up in his teeth and carry him away like he was dinner.
That was right. Only a fire breathing dragon could actually manage to pierce his skin like that. His skin was tough, like a dragons scales. It wasn't exactly the easiest thing to scar.
Her fingers still traced around his back, going in circles and swirls until they hooked around his side. She heard a soft sigh come from him as he adjusted his head in her pillow, breathing in deeply. She only shifted closer in response.
She didn't really mean to wake him, but she can't say she regretted it. She's missed him over the past few weeks, not being able to see his smile or smell his scent that she had grown to adore. It was hard.
She saw his head surface from her pillow and rest his forehead on it softly. His eyes tried taking in the sunlight as well, blinking constantly to adjust them. He still felt her soft fingers on his back and turned to look over to the culprit, resting his head sideways on her pillow.
"You're back." Lucy whispered, not finding her voice strong enough to speak normally.
He gave a soft smile to her, the only one you could see when he had just woken up.
"Yeah." He whispered back, not finding his voice either as he gazed into her eyes.
"You should of woken me up." She gave him a pout, a cute one at that. Her voice strengthened.
He just crinkled his nose and shrugged. "Didn't want too. You looked peaceful."
Lucy just smiled at him and shifted closer, bringing herself on top of him. She closed the space between them, pressing her lips against his gently. He returned the kiss, leaning his head up to keep them from breaking away.
The two have been together for a few months. The entire guild exploded into cheers and money from bets once they did. In all honesty, nothing that much had changed. Of course there were in general, like them being able to kiss and hold hands and hold each other, and stuff like that, but as far as that goes, it wasn't all that different. They still acted like best friends, talking and joking about whatever they want and going on missions with Happy. They still bickered from time to time like always, but nothing ever got out of hand. It was a good time.
Lucy was the first to tell him. Or kiss him, in their scenario. She had tried sending him hints at first, but him being as oblivious as any human could get, that didn't work out too well. She had just decided to take a chance and go for it, sick and tired of waiting and trying to figure out what was going on inside his head. It kind of took him by surprise at first, totally not suspecting that from her at all, but he soon fell into it.
Now they were here, two months later.
After a while of laying in bed, the two got up to head back out to the guild for the day. It seems they must of really slept in, considering the sun was high in the sky, or they just spent more time kissing then they had initially planned. The sun was hot, to Lucy of course, and day seemed calm. They strolled down the street of apartments, paved with masonry and lined with a long river beside them.
Hand in hand, Lucy sighed out into the air. "Feel like doing an easy?" Which was the guilds little term for an 'easy mission', which meant it was close by and didn't take much to perform.
"Sure, that one with Ice Face wasn't all that hard." He replied.
"Oh right, how did that go?" She questioned curiously, looking to him as the guild came into sight.
He scowled at the thought, tightening his grip on her hand. "Sucked. He kept getting in my way and messing everything up."
Lucy laughed, "Oh did he? Why do I doubt that?"
"Hey, if he would quit trying to show off and outdo me, I woulda been here a whole lot sooner. He's an idiot." He huffed, shaking his head to the thought of the ice mage.
"I'm surprised you came back at all."
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Natsu pushed open the wooden guild doors, releasing the flood gates on all the noisy chatter and yelling from within. Tables being thrown, beer splattering all over the floor and walls, and exceeds flying all over the place trying not to get hit by anything.
"Natsu!" Happy's shrill voice shouted from across the guild.
He grinned widely to the blue exceed who zoomed towards him, opening up his arms to encase him in a hug. "Hey buddy!"
Lucy just smiled at their mini reunion, closing the doors behind her so that she could conceal the noise. They didn't need another complaint on such a mediocre ground.
"Lucy! I've been waiting for you all day!"
She turned to the sound of the voice, finding Mira waving at her vigorously and Lisanna offering a small smile next to her. They both stood behind the bar, rows and rows of different kinds of alcohol lining up behind them. She made her way over to them, sitting in a barstool in front of them.
"What's up?"
"We got a special job for you." Mira beamed, the excitement that pulsed inside her looked as if it were ready to explode out.
Lucy saw Lisanna hand over a folded piece of paper to her, a proud smile also on her lips as well. She took the paper curiously, kind of wary at how weird the two were acting about this. She opened it up to read,
For Ms. Lucy Heartfillia,
We have noticed you at the guild of Fairy Tail make a great symbol for those around you. We would love it if you would give us permission to premier you in a photo shoot to represent your guild. Please consider our proposal and reply as soon as you can. Thank you!
-The Sorcerer Weekly
Her jaw literally dropped.
"Congratulations! This is so amazing, right!" Mira giggled.
Lucy has been waiting for this for years. Even after that weird 'cool!' guy came to visit all that time ago and she got completely ignored, she never stopped wanting to be in a photo shoot for Sorcerers Weekly. She would be in it! Just like Mirajane and Erza! She's been dreaming of this for so long, she could barely even contain herself.
"YESS!" She screamed, throwing her hands up in the air.
Mira even knew how badly Lucy had wanted this opportunity, and she couldn't even wait to see the look on her face once she told her the news. She ran around the end of the bar and engulfed Lucy in a giant hug, pressing her cheek against hers.
"I can't believe this! This is amazing!" Lucy laughed once they pulled apart, staring down to the paper, "Why now-what..." She drifted off in confusion, looking to Mira for an answer.
"I don't know! They must of just saw you one day or something!" She shrugged, her bright smile never faltering.
Lucy burst out into a happy squeal once again, biting her bottom lip to try to conceal it. Her eyes scanned over the paper again and again, still trying to believe it somewhat.
"Ah jeez, what are you two so happy about today?" A deep voice sighed from behind her.
Lucy and Mira turned around to see Grey, sipping on a beer mug with Cana right by his side. Only with a barrel.
"I'M GONNA BE A MODEL!" She shrieked, throwing the paper in their faces.
They both raised an eyebrow at her, still unsure at what the big deal was.
"Okay..? They always feature us, what's the big deal?" Cana questioned, resting her chin in her palm as she blinked slowly, licking her lips free of booze.
"Maybe you guys, but this is the first time for me! I've never done anything like this." She sighed out, a nervous feeling growing in the pit of her stomach.
"Oh don't worry, it'll be fun. I promise." Mira reassured her, laying a hand on her shoulder.
"Oh yeaah, just gotta let a couple of dudes take pictures of you in a bikini, It'll be super fun." Grey slurred, a drunken chuckle following right after.
Cana giggled at that, a short hiccup in between as she shoved him for his crude humor.
"Don't listen to 'em Lucy, their drunk. It's no big deal, really." Mira said, catching her gaze again.
"I guess.." She sighed, looking to the paper once again.
"Mmm, just make sure that you tie on that strap tight, mmk?" Cana mumbled, gazing to her with half-lidded eyes. "Trust me, it'll be a mess if it falls off. People start...start freakin' out and..just be careful..kay?"
Take it from me," She gave a wide smile, "You prudes don't want that hangin' out in a magazine."
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To say she was nervous was a big understatement. She was beyond scared. She fumbled with her fingers, chewed on her lip, and shifted her feet around uncomfortably. She stood outside the photography studio, staring at the giant metal door before her.
So many threatening thoughts pulsed through her mind, like what if she messed up or what if they changed their mind? For her, doing this was a big deal. She would finally be able to represent her guild by this, once people saw her photo, they would automatically generate an idea just based off of her. Little kids would look up to her from those photos, just like she did from Mirajane. She had to do this, she couldn't skimp out now.
She cracked open the door and-
"Ah! Ms. Lucy! Welcome, welcome!" A woman's voice sang throughout the hall, her figure coming into view.
The woman was tall, covered in head to toe on animal fur with high heels. She had long grey hair all wrapped up in a bun, pinned together with a butterfly broach. She pulled the blonde inside, forcing her into a tight hug and pushed her in front of her.
"We are so glad to hear that you accepted our offer, please come this way." She gave a mature laugh, speed walking towards all the equipment.
The set up was fitting, Lucy thought. In her section of the photo shoot, she had an entire space background decorated and planned out for her. Cameras from all angles sat in front of the screen, the men prepping for the shoot.
"Well, since you're here, how about we get this thing started?" The woman clapped her hands, sending her a wide smile. "My name is Harmony, and I will be your photographer."
"Nice to meet you." Lucy smiled politely.
"I know," Harmony laughed, "Let's get started! Let's get dressed and made up!"
After that declaration, dozens of Harmony's workers pounced on Lucy, dragging her away towards the dressing rooms. The apparent theme was to make her some sort of space goddess, they dressed her in a golden gown that went to the floor and styled her hair to make it wavy and pin part of it up. They did neat makeup tricks Lucy didn't even think was possible to do with eyeliner and painted her lips.
It all happened so quickly she didn't even realize she was already being pushed onto the set to begin with the photos.
"My oh my, you look gorgeous!" Harmony clapped, "This is going to be great! Now, show me those stunning keys of yours!"
The instructions were clear enough for Lucy. She mostly just had to keep a straight and determined face the entire time, at points Harmony had made her use her keys for more effects, like making them hover in the air around her or actually summoning a spirit to star with her. In all truth, she had to admit it was fun. Being able to look like she was the master of space or something and model like this, she really did like it. It took her a while to get the gist of it all, but in the end of the first half Harmony seemed very pleased.
"These are coming out wonderfully!" Harmony praised, pacing around the edge of the set as she stared at the blonde.
"Try summoning again, then we'll take a break!" She announced.
Lucy did as she was told and lifted up her Leo key to the sky, a golden glint emerging from the top. Flashes happened all around her in the midst of that, then Loke appeared, bowing down to his master.
"You summoned, my princess?"
"Yeah, look up." She giggled, sighing as all the cameramen lowered their cameras.
Loke gazed up to her confused, then turned to see where they actually were. He recognized the place immediately, his eyes lighting up with curiosity.
"That was great, Lucy!" Harmony beamed, walking over to her, a giant smile plastered on her face.
"Thanks, it was fun." Lucy smiled back to her, helping Loke up from his kneeling position.
"Yes, we will start a different theme in a few minutes, but for now you can roam about our studio. Just the small perks of being featured here." She giggled.
"Right, okay. I'll get changed." Lucy nodded to her, picking up the dress from the floor.
Harmony nodded back and headed over to her photographers chair, leaving the two to what the studio had to offer. Loke had decided to stick around a while and check out the other models shooting here, while Lucy went to get changed. She got back into her normal clothes and kind of just wandered around for a bit.
The place itself was huge, to be honest. All different parts and departments were sectioned around, tons of people all doing their part in the making of the magazine. Office heads bicker over the cover of next week's magazine and designers ran around trying to find info on whatever they were featuring at that time.
Lucy even got a heads up on what else was going to be inside. She met other girls and guys from other guilds also being featured and met the man who always did the 'Magic History' section near the back. Everything here practically had her star struck from how much effort was put into this.
She walked around some more, trying to see as much as she could before having to return back to Harmony. She saw a little department off to the right of her, where a few people were crowded around a desk, discussing a certain part of the magazine. She approached them all, catching a few people's gaze who smiled warmly.
"Hi. What can we do for ya?" A woman asked, coming around to confront her.
"Just looking around here and everything." She shrugged, "What part are you guys doing?"
"Come and look! We're in charge of the 'relationship' section, you know, with tips and advice and all that." She waved her hand, motioning her behind the desk.
Lucy followed the woman behind the desk and peeked over her shoulder to study what was in the screen.
"This week were listing the top reasons for why new couples mainly break up. Not exactly including the ones where cheating is the problem." The woman giggled, scrolling down to show more.
"Top reasons?" Lucy questioned, curiosity lining her tone.
"Yup! See, look here. We did a secret poll a while ago where people told us the reasons behind their break ups, and we came up with the top 5!" She beamed, pointing to the screen.
Lucy followed the girls finger and read the number one reason they had for early break ups.
"Being too clingy?" She echoed, arching an eyebrow at it.
"Surprising right?" The woman smiled to her, "Yeah, we found out that girls or guys who always latch onto their partner, really turn them off and make them leave. Sometimes that person doesn't even know they are because they're so blinded by their love for them."
"Really?" Lucy asked, a look of genuine shock on her face.
"Yeah, but when they do finally decide to call it quits is shaky to predict. The person your dating could be either super nice or really blunt. If their too nice they might just try to go along with it in case of hurting their feelings, but if their more open, then you might actually notice their discomfort more easily."
Lucy nodded her head towards her, giving an interested hum. That honestly came to a surprise to her, being clingy would be the number 1 cause in Fiore. Was it really that big a problem for most people?
Well she supposes that shouldn't be too hard to believe, considering she gets a glance at the whole Grey/Juvia thing going on daily. And not to mention Erza and Ichiya, and also Sherry and Lyon. Now that was beyond 'clingy'. Maybe it wasn't that hard to believe after all.
"Lucy, darling! We need you for make up right away!" Harmony called out to her, waving her manicured hand back and forth from across the studio.
She automatically snapped out of her thoughts, turning back towards the photographer. She offered a smile towards her and said her goodbyes to the people who worked for the advice column, following Harmony back to backstage.
The rest of the shoot was simple, they put her in another dress, with new makeup and a new stage. At the end of the day, Lucy got her dozens of thank you's from Harmony and assurance that she would get a free copy of the magazine once it was released. She think she did pretty okay for her first time. It wasn't as nearly as bad as she imagined it before, she wasn't messing up every two seconds and accidently breaking cameras or any of that stuff, it was all good.
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The sun had set by the time she exited out the doors. The sky was casting beautiful colors of oranges and pinks like a painting straight out of a art gallery. She began the half hour walk back to her house, stepping down the flight of stairs and starting on the smooth pavement of the sidewalk, going all the way to Strawberry Street.
Yet for some reason, she couldn't get that one thought out of her head.
Being too clingy.
She knows she shouldn't take those advice columns too seriously, but she just couldn't shake that one thought! Was she being too clingy on Natsu? She knows, it sounds ridiculous in all general sense, but..was she? She had no reason to believe so, if anything, she would say their great right now. He had just returned from a super long mission and all it really did was make her anxious to when she'll be able to see him again. She hated when they got split up like that just on Masters orders, when he splits up any team really.
But was that bad? Okay, yes, she'll admit that she's very affectionate towards him. Doesn't she have a right to be? She likes it when she can lay in his arms and rest her head on his chest, and sleep together in the same bed. And she loves it when she can kiss him and it kills her not being able to when he goes so far away for so long on those stupid missions. But, that was normal right? Every girl feels like that with their new boyfriend...so, why is she so unsure about this?
Okay, don't just jump to conclusions, Lucy. Think, does he show any signs that he's not into anything they do? The woman said it depended on what type of guy you're talking about, whether blunt or nice in these situations. But the problem was, he was both. It could honestly go either way for him, him being too nice to tell her she's being annoying or if she was, he would just say out loud. She has a pretty strong feeling on the 'nice' one.
And now that she thinks about it, the more sense it makes. When was the last time he kissed her? Not kissing her back after she initiated it, but when he has ever gone up and just kissed her? Or took her hand when walking down the street? Or even kissed her cheek or something.
Lucy stopped dead in her tracks, her mind practically going into overdrive on the inside. He's never really done anything to her. It was always her to start everything they did together, yet she's never even noticed until now. He doesn't seem all that affected by it anyways, but he was always a pretty good liar. He always had a smile on whenever she initiated what they did together, but was he just annoyed by it all? Did he only keep going out with her just because he's too much of a nice guy to let her go? Maybe..-
No. No, no, no. She shook her head, and resumed walking. She was getting way ahead of herself, she just needed to calm down a bit. Natsu might be a nice guy, but he would tell her if something was annoying him, even her. They've been best friends for years and have told each other everything, if he needed space he would of told her.
But that still doesn't excuse the fact that he barely even touches her unless she starts it.
Lucy sighed a groan out into the air, grasping her hair in between her fingers. She doesn't want her relationship to end like half of Fiore's! But what if she's just over-reacting? Which was better, over-reacting or under-reacting? The stakes were higher if she didn't do anything about it though...
Maybe..just to be on the safe side, she'll step back a bit. Just distance herself a little and see how things go from there, no biggie. Who knows, this might even help out their relationship by a lot, she'll never know.
She came up to her front doorstep and sighed once again, unlocking it with her key.
Maybe he just needs room.
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Natsu was having a good day. Mira had given him extra food on the count of her being in a good mood and he had even won a fight against that stupid ice prick. If you count him throwing the guy into Erza and then her beating the living daylights out of him, then yeah, Natsu had won. It was an unexpected day off, but he didn't mind it all too much.
He and Lucy were supposed to pick out a mission yesterday, but when he came to look for her she apparently just ran off somewhere and hasn't seen her since. He didn't know why, but it must of been pretty important to postpone a mission that could help pay her rent. He's been waiting for her all day, really itching to go beat up some bandits or destroy a town or something. He still found it kind of cute how Lucy still tries to stop him from doing so, he would of thought she of all people would catch on first.
He was sitting at a table feeding Happy when he saw her come in. He didn't know if she went on her own mission or something -which was very unlikely-, so he was glad to see she was still around. He let Happy take the fish from his hands and stood up, patting his head as a goodbye.
"Hey Lucy!" He called out, waving a hand at her.
Lucy turned around at the sound of his voice and gave him a smile, watching him close the distance between them.
"Hey." She greeted, stepping up to him.
She was about to go do what she usually did, which was to just go up a kiss him, but that same thought rang through her mind again, telling her maybe that wasn't the best idea. But even before that idea came into her head, she had taken a small step forward, prepping to do so. She had nearly forgotten about the whole thing right until then, it was like a bad habit she had to break. She couldn't just go up and do whatever now, she had to be cautious.
Lucy hesitated at the step she took and gave a quick smile, "What's up?"
She could tell by the look on his face that he had noticed it too, unless she was pissed off about something she would always kiss him once seeing him in the day, it was sort of their routine. He only seemed to shake it off quickly.
"Wanna do that mission now? Me and Happy are ready to go." He offered, pointing back behind him to where Happy was.
"Yeah, sure. I'm only a few thousand short for this month." She nodded.
"Great! I'll go tell Mira!"
Natsu sent her his usual smile, grinning ear to ear and took off towards the job board. The same smile that had captured her heart all those months ago.
Lucy couldn't help but groan, but kept it muffled inside her mouth. She had barely even started this 'process' and she hated it already! When was the appropriate time to kiss him? On special occasions, like winning a fight or something? She knew she had to have boundaries, but nothing that drastic! Jesus, she really should of thought this through more.
Okay, maybe she doesn't have to completely cut herself off from him, just the girly stuff she likes to do, like holding hands and stuff. Just stuff she knows guys don't necessarily love to do because it damages their 'manliness' or whatever.
Yeah, that sounded a little better. It would still suck, she knew that, but she'll just have to press through it. It's still better to over-react than under-react at this point.
"Lucy? You coming or what?"
She blinked out of her thoughts and saw Natsu and Happy by the door already, ready to leave.
"Oh, yeah! Let's go." She smiled, running up to join them.
The job was simple, just work at a restaurant for a few hours as a waiter and you're done. The sun was almost ready to set for the day by the time they finished, and Lucy was eager as ever to get home. She knows it was probably too early in the week for the magazine she was featured in to be released already, but she seriously hoped it was. It was her first issue ever and she wanted to see how well she did, she didn't even think of asking to see her photos after they were done.
They all exited out of the diner, Happy flying ahead if them both and soaring into the sky. Sometimes the two stayed over at Lucy's house and sometimes they didn't. Most of the time it was decided on which house was furthest away and which was more convenient to stay at. Most the time it was her house that won, and for some reason she still doesn't even know, they loved it there. Even before they started dating they always liked to crash at her house instead of their own. Natsu had even said that they liked her place because of its cleanliness and how it always smelt like her, but she's cleaned his house a number of times yet he still made his appearances. Later on she kind of just figured out it was because he liked being around her.
Lucy sighed out of her nose, rubbing her tongue along her teeth with irritation. She glanced down to his hand that just hung there beside her, taunting her. It was one of those times where she had to back off a bit with all the girly stuff. They were just walking home together, like any other day so far.
She knew she shouldn't, but she just really wanted to hold his hand, like always. She just loved the feeling it gave her, its warmth always consumed her cold hand and even if his hand was rough, she liked it nonetheless. It gave her a sweet feeling inside, like every time she got to see him smile, she wanted to smile back.
And now, when she obviously couldn't, she just couldn't sit well with it. Their walk was in silence, not really helping her thoughts at all and the more she looked at him, the more she just wanted to grab it. She kept her hands in her pockets, jamming them down as far as they could go.
It was times like these where she would ponder over her hating herself for finding that department in the studio or hate herself now, but end up thanking to God she did in the end.
She looked over to Natsu again from the ground and found a weird expression on his face, one she hasn't really seen him express a whole lot before. He was staring to the ground as well, but his eyebrows were slightly arched and his lips were pursed.
Was that what he looked like when he was thinking about something?
Not to call him dumb or anything, but it wasn't exactly a sight a someone saw on him every day. Her own mind wandered to what he could of been thinking about. Was it about her? Has he noticed what she's been doing? What does he th-
"Lucy! Where are you going?"
She stopped in her tracks and blinked, pushing away all the thoughts that had clouded her vision. Natsu and Happy weren't by her side anymore and the sun was almost gone down the horizon.
She turned around from Natsu's voice and saw him and Happy in front of her door, looking to her with confusion. Jeez, she must of walked right past it without even noticing!
"You're being extra weird today, Luce." Natsu commented, raising an eyebrow at her.
Lucy only just smiled sheepishly and made her way back towards them, earning smiles from them both too.
"Sorry, just thinking about something. I didn't even notice." She apologized, opening up the door for them.
"Oh, whatcha thinkin' 'bout so much?" He asked, following her inside.
She turned back to him and smiled reassuringly.
"Nothing, really...just something from my book." She lied, shaking her head.
Natsu nodded to her in understanding, knowing she was always one to zone out at random times thinking about new characters or plot lines.
'Yup, just my book...'
~A Hopeless Save~
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Time went on from that stage, Lucy continuing her 'experiment' and doing all the things she could without pressing too much on him. It was safe to say that they didn't do nearly as much as they once have before. Even when Lucy stopped most of her actions, the only thing she really noticed was when Natsu didn't even try to do them for her. On his side nothing had even changed, he still didn't initiate anything that she would of liked him too.
It was like there was this giant space between them, and it just kept filling up with stuff that they didn't say to each other. In all physical views, they seemed as normal as ever. Natsu still hung out with Happy at her house and they stilled lounged around together, but it kind of seemed like they were hanging around the 'best friend' line than the 'boyfriend/girlfriend' line. And it was all because they knew what was happening, yet decided not to mention it.
Natsu knew Lucy knew that he had noticed her sudden changes of action, and Lucy knew Natsu has noticed what she's been doing also. But whenever Natsu would dedicate time to thinking over what could of caused her to drift away like this, he just couldn't figure it out.
Why?
He didn't know why she would be acting like this. At first he just thought she was being extra weird that one day, but he could only grow more concerned as the days went on and nothing had changed. If anything, he could of said that they would get progressively worse. Her distancing herself towards him was as confusing as reading one of Levy's books in a different language, it didn't make any sense.
And at that one final day, when all these confusing thoughts would jumbled up in his mind like a puzzle, just waiting to be untangled, he had thought of the answer to it all.
She didn't like him.
Was that possible? Could Lucy of lost her interest in him, just like that? It would definitely explain all that's been happening, but he just didn't want to believe it. It was Lucy he was talking about, they've been through everything together, good and bad. The statement was just unfathomable to him.
So, why did it make so much sense to him then?
That's when things started to change for Natsu. That one simple statement could have him up all night in a restless tire. He didn't feel like himself anymore, he couldn't be himself after finally figuring out what was going on with Lucy. He just didn't get it, if she didn't like him anymore, why not break up with him? It would a load off her shoulders, so why not?
Well, that was a stupid question, he thought.
It was Lucy.
He was talking about the girl who felt sorry and befriended a girl who had wrongfully beat her, threatened to hurt Bisca's and Alzacks 5 year old daughter, cheated, and nearly humiliated her in front of millions of people.
He was talking about the girl who threw herself in front of a flying sword, just to save the future and all the rest of them. She had her arm torn off and she still gave her life to protect her friends from harm.
Of course she wouldn't break up with him.
She knew how much it would hurt him if she were to just end it, she was the kindest person in the world. Of course she wouldn't do that.
...So, what does he do?
That there got Natsu in an even bigger funk, which he didn't even know was possible. All he could think of was Lucy now, and it honestly made his head hurt. He hated thinking. It kept him up at night, it clouded his thoughts during the day, and he couldn't even have a proper fight with Grey thanks to that. Soon enough he didn't even feel like fighting with him at all, he just wanted to sit down and drink a little.
Cana always said drinking was the cure for anything, so why not give it a try?
It helped. Not as much as he wanted it too, but it did help relieve some of the stress. At some point when you're drinking all the upsetting thoughts kind of just wash away and leave you in a haze. It was kind of nice, not having to worry over when, how, and why Lucy will just tell him the truth. But he also knew he couldn't be drunk 24/7, so that doesn't solve the problem either. Great.
The day was bright, as always with the tropical weather of Magnolia. Natsu trudged down the busy streets towards his favorite guild, his favorite cat laying sleepily on his head, curled up in a ball. It was still kind of early in the day, Natsu couldn't sleep all that well last night, -or at all- so he just decided to get an early start and see what was going on there so far.
When he arrived there, he wasn't all that surprised to see the scene. Lucy, of course, wasn't here yet, the Strauss siblings were walking around, prepping food and booze for later on in the day, and Cana was still passed out on the table from last night, a bottle of Brandy still in her hand.
"Hey Natsu. Whatcha doing here so early for?" Mira sang out to him, offering him a smile from behind the bar.
He just shrugged and strolled in further, coming towards her way. "No reason, couldn't sleep all that well."
Mira hummed in understanding and wiped the counter with a cloth, glancing back behind her towards Elfman and Lisanna.
"Well, you know what, we just got in some new shipments in today for the kitchen, could you help out Lisanna and Elfman with them?" She asked kindly, pointing back behind her where the two were carrying in boxes.
"Shipments?" Natsu questioned, raising an eyebrow to her.
"Yeah! We got a new cellar and fridge and everything, it's great! Now maybe some of our beer might actually be cold." She giggled excitedly, pointing towards the wooden crates already inside the back room.
"Cool, I'll help out." He smiled, nodding his head.
.
Mira nodded back to him and silently watched as he circled around the bar counter. She sighed a soft breath to the floor and turned back to the counter behind her.
"Natsu?" She called out.
He turned back to her from the opening that separated the two rooms, a curious look and a box in his hands.
"Are you okay?" She asked, her words full of empathy and concern, her facial expression showing the same as well.
He only gave a smile in response, a gentle one that hid all the grief hiding behind.
"Yeah. I'm okay." He nodded, turning back towards the door.
Mira could only sigh again at him, puffing out her cheeks. She had noticed his diversion in attitude over the past few days, he just didn't seem himself anymore. He wasn't bouncing off the walls, setting fire to them and burning everything to the ground like he normally would of, he just kind of sat. And drank. Like Cana, almost. She doesn't know what could have him down like this, but she could think of some circumstances. All she can really do now is hope that whatever it is that's bothering him blows over soon.
After unpacking all of the new equipment with Lisanna, the day was already noon. He didn't even notice other people starting to fill up the guild, and Cana wake up in a drunken stupor. The place was crowded and loud already, people arguing and making jokes and drinking despite the time of day. Happy had woken up also in that time and was now flying around with half an eaten fish in his hands, panicking because he accidentally ate his present to Carla.
He just sighed at it all, not finding any energy whatsoever to take part in anything. He doesn't think Lucy will be coming in today either, she said something about having a day off to work on her book and catch up to speed. He met up with Cana, strolling up beside her and took up on her offer for a mug of beer from her trusty barrel. He nodded at her as a thanks and went over to the quiet part of the bar, mostly where people weren't blacking out from trying to out-drink Cana.
And..he just sat there. For most of the day anyways, sometimes people would come up to him and either offer to dance or brawl, but either way he just smiled and said he was too tired today. He kept his cup in his hands, either Mira or Lisanna coming up to offer a refill or maybe just some water.
As time went on he got more drowsy from the alcohol, not enough to knock him out flat or anything but enough to make him shut his eyes for several minutes and doze off.
"Feeling alright Natsu?"
His eyes reopened to the sound of the familiar voice and felt his mug be taken out of his hands, then replaced with another item. He saw Mira in front of him, holding his mug while a bottle of water now sat in between his fingers. She gave him a friendly smile and he sat up, reawakening himself from his short daze.
"Mmhm." He hummed tiredly, sipping on the drink in his hand.
Mira sighed heavily at him and leaned on the counter in front of him, bending over so that she matched his level.
"Come on, tell me what's wrong." She pleaded, her bright blue eyes shining in sympathy.
Natsu just looked away from her and to the bottle in his hand, his finger wiping away the water from condensation. "Nothing's wrong."
Natsu felt uncertainty swirl through his stomach as he didn't hear a response from her, yet she didn't move from her position in front of him. He didn't exactly want to look up to her, yet he already knew that she was staring at him with those pleading eyes of hers. Mira either had two ways to get what she wanted, one was to scare the crap out of them in her demon form, and the second was to pout like a puppy to them, letting her innocence shine through like a window.
And one way or another, they always seemed to work.
"Fine..." He broke, glaring up to her from the bottle.
She only smiled in victory, showing off her pearly whites and adjusted herself.
"I think Lucy wants to break up with me.." He sighed, running a hand down his face, stopping at his mouth to mumble in embarrassment.
Mira blinked at that, slowly losing her smile as she straightened her back.
"Why would you think that?" She asked, concern lining her tone with every word.
"I just don't think she likes me anymore...she used to hold my hand everywhere we went and kiss me a lot, but now she doesnt. It's like she just lost interest in me or something..." He sighed, gazing to the counter.
Mira could only frown at this point, she didn't want to take too much notice in it, but she had noticed the distance that filled between the two. She didn't think too much of it though, but boy should she of have.
"I'm sure she still likes you Nat-"
"Then why would she ignore me like that?" He challenged, arching an eyebrow at her in accusation.
Mira let her mouth open to answer his question, but she wasn't surprised to find that nothing could come out. She wouldn't know why or what was going on in Lucy's head, she wish she did, but she doesn't. As much as she loves him for being able to come to her with his problems, this time, she didn't know how to answer it.
"Maybe she just wants me to take the hint and end it..." He slumped to the counter, burying his mouth in his arms as he gazed to the bottle with emptiness.
"Natsu-"
"Imma go, I'll see you later Mira." He chose to cut her off, standing up from his seat to head to the door.
He has decided to just finish this once and for all, he didn't want to keep Lucy in a relationship she was too empathetic to end herself. It's not like Natsu wanted to break up with her, far from it actually, but he feels like he should spare her the words and do it himself. Maybe save him some pride all the while.
.
.
.
The walk to her house was slow, it was already dark but he still wanted to stretch out the time as long as he could. Her light was on, signaling she hadn't gone to sleep yet for the day and that he had no excuse to back out now. He jumped up to her windowsill, peering in the window. She wasn't anywhere from his vantage, but he knew she was here; her scent was still very strong in there.
He cracked open the window and stepped inside, just managing to hear the last of shuffling coming from her kitchen. Lucy then walked outside, studying a sheet in her hand with a pondering expression on.
Surprise crossed her face as she noticed him, lowering the paper to her side.
"Natsu?" She questioned, her face obviously telling that she didn't expect him.
"Hey.." He gave a small smile, clenching his fists in his pockets.
"Hey..something wrong?" She asked, noticing the distressed look in his eye.
Lucy strolled over to him, losing her smile at the blunt sight of him. She could tell he was trying to cover it up, but he did a pretty weak job at that alone.
"Actually, uh...yeah. Can I talk to you about something?" He asked, rubbing the back of his head nervously.
Lucy felt panic stir within her, twisting her stomach into all kinds of knots. Despite the awful foreboding feeling inside her, she gave a weak smile. "Yeah."
Natsu led her back to her bed, sitting on the edge with his legs over the side. Lucy sat down next to him, crossing her legs over another and faced him, fumbling with her bed sheets.
"Lucy..."
Natsu's throat felt dry and swollen, preventing his from swallowing anything. He clenched his fists again, just trying to calm the raging war inside his mind. How could he even do this? He can barely get her name out without cracking up, how was he supposed to say the entire thing without choking?
Lucy's heart thumped in her chest, uneasiness still churning within her. Whatever it was Natsu was having trouble saying, it must of been serious. He was usually so quick and blunt about things, he didn't waste time beating around the bush. It frankly scared her to see him like this.
"I get it...we can..stop going out..for awhile.." He breathed, forcing himself to keep his eyes to his lap.
Lucy felt like she had just got punched in the gut. That once uneasiness and knotting just exploded within her, leaving her breathless. Hot tears welled up in her eyes, her body shivering from the mental loss of temperature that she had imagined.
"Are you..breaking up with me?" Her voice was soft and weak, and if Natsu didn't have dragon hearing, he probably wouldn't of even heard it.
Natsu turned to look back at her, almost wishing he hadn't. The look she gave him made him feel like the most horrible person to walk Earthland. Her eyes were glowing red, clear pools just waiting at the edge to be released, and her face showed hurt worse than she when she would get stabbed on a job.
He had to look away at that point, feeling his own eyes starting to get hot just at the look. He faced his lap again, staring the ground intensely, hoping this would be over already.
"Natsu..?" He heard her say, her voice still weak and confused.
He felt the bed shift for a moment as she crawled over towards him, placing her hand on top of his and holding it tightly.
His eyes automatically went over to his hand, then up to her face. It stilled showed the hurt she felt inside on it, her cheeks flushed and eyes still watery.
"Don't you want this?" He asked, gazing to her with obvious confusion.
"No! I-I mean, why? Wh..-" She nearly shouted at him, shaking her head vigorously as she stumbled over her words.
"I just...thought you would want too.." he drifted off, lowering his head again.
"Why would you think that? Of course I don't want this..." She insisted, never for a second letting her eyes waver from his face.
Her grip tightened on his hand, her fingers curling underneath it as she stared at him with plead.
"I didn't think you liked me anymore..." He had mumbled, wiping his cheek on his shoulder as his words were barley coherent.
"Natsu-"
"You don't do anything anymore! You just..you don't do..anything. I miss how we were before and everything we used to do together..." He blurted loudly, looking to her with arched eyebrows, "I miss you..."
His face lowered to his lap again, his heart sagging as he felt her hand fall off of his. He clenched his own, wrinkling the sheets he caught with it and muffled a sigh from escaping his mouth.
"I'm sorry Natsu..." With her voice, he felt her arms wrap around his back, pressing her forehead into the crease of it.
He placed his hand over hers with hesitation, feeling her clench on tighter from behind him.
"It's all my fault.." She let go of him slowly, sniffing her nose and clinging onto his shirt.
Natsu turned to her from the bed, sitting now so he would face her with wondrous eyes.
She only sighed a smile at him, wiping away a tear that had filled her eye.
"I was worried about being too...clingy.." She sighed, swallowing the lump in her throat.
"Clingy?" He questioned, shifting towards her more for an explanation.
Lucy laughed a bit, now kind of noticing how ridiculous it sounded.
"You know..when a guy has a girlfriend and she's always all over him and hangs onto him alot. I guess guys find that annoying and they don't like them anymore, I was just worried that would happen to us...you're never the one to start anything so I thought I must've been annoying you.."
"What do you mean?" He asked her quietly, suddenly feeling as if this whole thing started from him doing something stupid.
Lucy only gazed to her lap, fiddling with her fingers as her smile faulted a bit.
"You never kissed me." She stated, looking up to him with a slight frown.
"I-"
"And I'm not talking about kissing me back when I started it, I mean you kissing me first. Or holding my hand or just holding me period..." She mumbled, looking to her hands again. "I thought I was just annoying you with all that.."
Natsu just exhaled a grin at her, a pound of relief washing over him like a tidal wave.
"You were never annoying me, Lucy." She looked up to him at that, "I just didn't do all that stuff cause..."
"Well, I didn't wanna mess up, I guess.." He sighed, "In all honesty Lucy, I have no idea what I'm even doing right now. I don't know how this is supposed to work or what I'm allowed to do or not to do, or..anything really."
He laughed a bit at the face she made and rubbed the back of his head, "I didn't wanna do anything you wouldn't like so I just let you do what you wanted. I didn't really have to worry messing up if you just did everything for me."
Lucy giggled a bit at his explanation, wiping away any stray tears that still held in her eye. She kept her eyes to her hands and said, "So..I'm not annoying..?"
She lifted her face to look at his for an answer, but was only met with his lips crashing onto hers. A gasp got caught in her throat, nearly toppling back from the sudden force, yet Natsu's hands held her back, pushing her closer to him.
Lucy easily fell into the kiss, sighing out her nose and wrapping her arms around his neck, letting her fingers fall in his hair. He pushed her to her back gently, letting himself on top of her as her head hit the pillows beneath, letting that deepen the kiss.
He pulled away the next moment, searching deep within her eyes that were now bright, full of surprise.
"Never be un-clingy again. I hated it."
Lucy let a smile crawl up to her lips and leaned up, pushing his head down towards her. She captured his lips again, bringing her hand down to cup his cheek.
"It's a deal."
.
.
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Woah, this took foreverrr! I had planned to get this out yesterday but I couldn't even finish it in time!
Yeah, I decided to take a break from PNK and work on something else just cause I was having trouble with it recently, hope you don't mind, all those here who read it.
I hope you enjoyed it and send me a review tellin me what ya think! Thanks and have a crazy day. :p