I wish you missed me.

I wish you knew who I was and that you longed for me. Longed for my gentle touch on your soft skin. Longed for my lips on yours as I nibble your bottom lip lightly, licking your lips with my tongue before it playfully makes its way into your mouth. It searches and finds your tongue as you exhale into me. I feel your breath brush past my skin, it gives me goose pimples as your fingertips touch and caress my neck.

I wish you could miss me, like I miss you.

My phone vibrates in my pocket as I wait on the platform for my train. I feel like today is going to be the same as every other day. Meetings, depositions, and clients, whose innocence I will defend to the hilt – even though they really should be found guilty. Without even looking at the ID, I already know that Claude has sent this morning's text and I already know that it's another request for me to go out with him tonight. I suppose he misses our friendship, especially as I have been avoiding him lately.

It's not that I don't wish to see him, it's just that I would much rather be home and spend my time thinking of you. Besides, I know that it's only a cheap ploy to try and get me to meet his new blonde flavor of the month and tonight - I cannot be bothered.

I sigh heavily as my train arrives and I get on.

It's empty today, it is a Friday and half term holidays for the schools but still, it's quiet. I wonder if you'll be on this morning?

It's been yet another week and again, you've disappeared on me, nowhere to be seen. I scour the carriage, sifting through the herd as I look for you. My eyes dart from person to person to see if you have slipped past me like the last time but no. I move down along the train to see if you have gotten into another carriage but no. Hopefully, as today is so quiet, I won't miss you when you come on.

This is ridiculous.

You have become my obsession.

You're what I think about when I rise in the morning and what I fantasize about when I close my eyes at night. I am a grown man but you've reduced me to nothing more than a teenager with a silly crush. How have you done this to me? We haven't spoken one word but you own me.

Shaking my head at this thought, I take a seat in the middle, fold my arms and wait for London Bridge.

…

It's wet.

The London rain falls around everyone. It rinses the pavement, drips down the leaves of the trees and causes everyone to scatter to drier ground like ants. Me? Well, I welcome the rain.

Sliding the lever of my umbrella upwards, I listen for it to click into place and I hold it over my head as I walk down the street. I love rain, it's refreshing and it makes everything clean again. What I love the most, is being able to walk down Bond Street without being pushed and shoved as tourists and locals alike take cover under shop awnings.

I arrive at the station, closing my umbrella; I shake off the excess water and make my way down the steps inside the station. Approaching the barrier and reaching into my pocket, I fish out my Oyster card but I drop it. Bending over to pick it up, someone crashes into me.

"Oops, I am so sorry." She apologizes behind me as I turn to see who it is. My heart thumps, it's Lizzie – that girl who's always with Ciel. My eyes whiz around to look for him but he is nowhere to be found.

"No, I'm sorry, I should be the one to apologies." I plaster on the brightest smile I possibly can. "I dropped my card." I hold it up as she nods.

Being in front of the barrier, I quickly swipe my card and go through as I watch her do the same from the corner of my eyes. I want to follow her to see where she goes; perhaps she's meeting with Ciel? Who knows? What I can ascertain is that she has just been shopping as she is lugging two heavy yellow bags from Selfridges and getting stuck in the barriers. I walk back over to help her, pulling the bags out of the clutches of the rubber doors that hold them.

"Thank you so much." She smiles as I hand her bags back to her.

"Not a problem." I say sweetly in return as we step aside against the wall, allowing other passengers to move past us as she adjusts the articles in the bag, grumbling in the process.

"I don't know why I bought all of this. I'm going to a concert tonight and I can't carry it all."

"Maybe I can help you for a little ways? Are you going to the O2 at North Greenwich? I get off at Canary Wharf so I can help you until then?" I offer.

She looks up at me as she continues to sort out the bags. "That's really sweet but you're all right. My cousin works at Green Park, I'll ask him to help me. Although I bet he'll be in some kind of mood about going tonight. It's his favorite band, you'd think he'd be excited to see them but no, not Ciel, I'm sure he'll find something to complain about." She stops mid gripe and giggles nervously. "And I don't know why I just told a perfect stranger all of that."

"Don't worry. I'm a solicitor, people always seem to get confessional around me. It's a part of my job." I attempt to soothe her embarrassment.

"A solicitor? That must be exciting? I bet you're never bored." She starts to stand up right and collect the handles of her bags.

"You have no idea."

If I can mange to keep up this conversation until Green Park, I just may have a chance to speak to Ciel. This girl seems pleasant enough, I'm sure I can maintain a decent conversation with her.

"So-"

"Michaelis, there you are." I'm interrupted.

"Claude? What are you-"

"You have passed on my attempts to meet for a drink for too long. Not to mention that we have to discuss tomorrows' deposition. So I'm coming with you." He declares as he approaches us.

I look over at Lizzie, who just smiles at me politely, probably confused by the whole situation.

"Well, thank you for your help." She shows her appreciation again before she turns and walks towards the escalator, waving good-bye.

Okay, no. No, no, no. I am so close now and I'm certainly not going to lose this quickly. I follow her, Claude in tow, as we go to the escalators. She's a ways in front but that's fine, I don't want to seem like I'm following her, well, even though I am.

Claude glares at me inquisitively.

"What has gotten into you?" He asks as he leans over.

"Fate." I reply, Claude snorts at my declaration but it has to be. Fate must surely be on my side, why else would I have dropped my Oyster card and had his cousin bump into me? Here I go again sounding like a teenager but I truly can't believe my luck.

Staying right behind her, we get the Eastbound Jubilee Line platform, walking all the way down to the end. This could be why I don't see you any more when you come home; you're no longer in my carriage. The train arrives and we each take a seat, Lizzie is just a little ways in front of us, I put my umbrella down in between my legs along with my briefcase whilst we sit opposite but a few seats down from her.

Claude and I are silent as I look up at the map above the handrail. My eyes dart over to Lizzie as she keeps hers fixed on the doors.

'The next station is Green Park…'

Here we go.

The train comes to a halt and the doors open. I can't help but join Lizzies' gaze towards the door as we both watch, as Ciel is one of the first people to board the train. He holds his book bag in his hands as he pushes up the sleeves of his sweater up over his wrists. His beautiful blue eye scans the carriage, looking for his cousin but it lands on me.

"What are you staring at?" Claude interrupts me again, causing me to advert my eyes to him. Boy, he sure does have a knack for being a giant bucket of water.

Ciel finds his cousin who was blocking a seat for him with her bags. Reaching over, she moves them, beaming brightly as he takes a seat.

I crane my neck to try and listen in to their conversation whilst maintaining my focus on Claude, who seems to be bleating on about tomorrows' deposition and his new toy, how he can talk about both simultaneously, I'll never understand.

As I listen, my mind starts to wander.

I wish I smiled at you before Claude pulled my attention away.

You know, I'm normally not this weak or cowardly but you control me. It's your look, your face, the way you carry yourself and the way you move with such fluidity. I just want to press your small body against mine and hold you tightly. I want to hear you whimper and sigh, I want to hear you command me to take you harder as you call my name.

I want to break you – shatter you into pieces and hold them in my hands.

"You suffer from Cherophobia you know." Lizzie pipes up snapping me out of my thoughts.

"Chero – what?" He says as he arches an eyebrow at her.

"Cherophobia it's the fear of being too happy because you think something disastrous is going to happen."

"I'm not like that." He snorts.

"Well here we are – going to see Bombay Bicycle Club, which I believe is your favorite band and you are wearing the face of a slapped ass." She groans. Ciel sulks back into his seat as her eyes move over to me.

I smile as she mouths the words 'I told you.' And I respond by shaking my head, which causes her to giggle.

"What's so funny?" He inquires.

"Oh, nothing." She replies.

You like Bombay Bicycle Club; I like Bombay Bicycle Club too…! Well, what are the odds? We actually do have something in common. I smile to myself as I start to let my mind imagine what that conversation would be like. We could talk about our favorite albums or our favorite tracks, I'm sure we would have similar tastes. Here I am sounding like a teenager, yet again.

We pass Bermondsey and I know that my time is almost up, especially if Claude is determined to stay with me until my stop. I need to think fast, if I can get him to get off at his stop, which is next, I may be in with a shot.

"Claude, how about I meet you later?" I suggest.

He sighs heavily and slides his glasses up the bridge of his nose.

"Fine but if you-"

"I won't, in fact, you can even bring your new toy, er, boyfriend and I can meet him." I am loathed to meet him but if will make him leave. Claude smiles wearily and nods.

"Fine." He agrees.

As soon as we approach Canada Water, Claude stands, grabbing his briefcase.

"I'll see you later."

"I'll call you to arrange a time." I nod.

The doors open and he disembarks the train.

Before I even have a chance to make my move, the train is flooded with concertgoers and I can barely see Ciel or Lizzie. I don't know what to do, as my stop is next.

I exhale and chuckle to myself.

Maybe this is fate. Perhaps I was just never meant to meet you. It all makes sense to me now and even though it saddens me, I know that it it's probably true.

Grabbing my briefcase, I stand and push past those who are standing and head towards the door. I don't even bother to steal one last look at you, as I know it would just make me change my mind.

I have to stop now.

I have to let you go and say good-bye.

"This station is Canary Wharf, change here for the Docklands Light Railway."

This is my stop.

I exit the train swiftly but I walk away from it slowly as I know it's the last time I'll ever see you – it's hard for me, you know.

Oh well, I am a realist; I know this is nothing more than the flight of my imagination. I just let it run away and get the better of me but now I need to reel it back and take control of it. We've spoken not one word to one another and here I am, carrying on like we're lovers. It has to stop now; I may have to let this one go... I have to let you go Ciel. It's starting to torment me and every day I don't see you makes my heart ache. It just has to stop.

Still, it's been fun.

"Um, excuse me?"

I stop, my heart thumping ferociously, pulsing loudly in my ears.

"You left this on the train."

I shallow hard before I turn, just in case I imagined it all but there you are, holding out my umbrella with a half smile on your typically pouting lips.

It's nice to finally meet you, Ciel.

Authors' Note: That's all folks – no more. I hope it ended well enough.

This whole story was inspired by a song (as all of my fics are), if you get a moment, have a listen: Elbow – An Imagined Affair.