/this crack ship have taken over my freaking life, it's all i could write about lately. i'm blaming the stress from exams. but here's where the sand sibs and team gai finds out about these two dorks dating. mostly a drabble, but ahahaha i have more from where this came from so stay tuned if you wanna/

It wasn't supposed to happen this way.

For starters, Kankuro had never shared every little detail of his life with his family, especially not concerning the people he's been swapping spit with. Of course, there were moments Temari would find out and tease him to hell and back, or when he'd inform Gaara casually about a chick he was dating, but that was about it. He wasn't even dating Lee. They were just going with things, indulging in each other without commitment.

His siblings weren't supposed to know.

But as it turned out, the divine still thought Kankuro had it too easy. Lee was leaving for Konoha after another joint mission, and had reported his departure to the Kazekage but dropped by to say goodbye to Kankuro in the Sabaku siblings' residence. Kankuro, the fucking moron, had pulled Lee in and kissed him furiously against the wall, just so Lee had something to think about in the coming days when they weren't in each other's proximity.

And Lee had left through the window, chastely kissing him one more time and flashed him a grin, leaping onto a nearby roof and went on his way. What Kankuro didn't expect was that he forgot to close the door to his room, and when he turned around with this big dumb grin on his face, there was Temari standing at said door. Mouth open. Eyes real fucking wide.

He fucked up.

"Kankuro," Temari had gasped, and Kankuro cursed his luck.

/

"I thought you were straight!" Temari had exclaimed, hands thrown up in a mixture of frustration and disbelief. She paced beside the dinner table, as Kankuro sat on one of its chairs, as if interrogated. It really felt like an interrogation, anyway.

"I am, okay, fuck, I am…" he took a while, "But fine, shit, I may be into dudes as well. How the fuck would I know?"

Temari stared at him, and he pushed the cowl of his coat off his head, trying really hard to meet her gaze but blushing furiously instead. He hadn't prepared for this, he didn't want to.

Her hands dropped on the table, "Being gay is one thing. Which is fine, whatever, but being gay with Rock Lee? Kankuro," he hated when she said his name like that, like he was fifteen all over again, "That's pretty messed up."

He also hated how defensive he sounded, "Not really. I mean, aside from the whole deal where we thought he was asexual and shit, it's not…really that bad. We're not even serious, Temari, it's just a fling, it's not for real, don't fuss about it."

Temari looked pretty infuriated at the accusation, "I'm not fussing! I just don't want you fooling around with some Konoha ninja, who's also one of Gaara's good friends, and end up fucking things out of proportions with him! A fling? Isn't he some kind of foolish romantic? I thought—"

It sort of sucked that their brother was a Suna genius, with a tendency to move so silently they couldn't ever hear him coming, because apparently Gaara had returned from his office and was folding his arms at them, "Which good friend of mine are you two talking about?"

Kankuro blanched, and Temari's head snapped up so fast it could have broken her neck. She stayed silent, though, glancing back at Kankuro with a steely gaze, definitely forcing Kankuro to be the one to answer the question.

"Uh," he started, clearing his throat, "Lee, actually."

Gaara raised an eyebrow, "Rock Lee? What did it mean when Temari said you were fooling around with him, Kankuro?"

Fuck his existence and fuck everything in it that lead to this. "Well…" he tried very hard not to die from fear and mortification, "You see…I've been, sorta, having a thing with him. " He struggled for an appropriate word before Gaara helpfully filled in.

"A romantic thing? You're in a romantic relationship with Lee?"

Kankuro could swear there was incredulity in that tone. "Something like that, but it's not serious. It's not like we're planning for life or whatever, so Temari really needs to calm the hell down and-."

"I thought men didn't do that. They don't marry, do they?"

"No," Kankuro spat out, glaring at Temari who had her lips curled up in a sneer, "They don't. Which is why it's nothing you both need to think about, or even know about, okay."

"You're banging Rock Lee," Temari drawled, "I'm confident that that's something immediate family should know about, just so they can understand how weird their brother is."

He almost choked on his own spit, "I'm not—We're not fucking, Temari, fuckin' shit, it's just making out and—"

Temari barked out laughter that grated his ears, and her words made him blush to the tip of his ears, "You haven't got to third base yet? Oh my god, Kankuro, he's really making you work for it, isn't he?"

"Men can have sexual relations?" came Gaara's question, voice unmistakably tinged with astonishment and Kankuro let his head fall onto the table, trying to give himself a concussion.

Sometimes he hated having siblings.

/

Lee had never really been able to keep a secret from Tenten. Not from Neji too, but Tenten usually confronted him about it, and lying was useless. Lee was terrible at lying.

"You met someone," Tenten accused one evening, when they were out for lunch at the new teriyaki place that opened, and Lee almost swallowed his chopsticks, "Who is it?"

It was bad enough that Tenten caught up, but Neji was looking at him in curiosity too, in that muted way of his. Lee shook his head violently, clearing his throat, "What in the world are you talking about, Tenten? I have not—"

"Cut the crap," she shot him down, "You have that glint in your eyes and you've been smiling to yourself even more than usual, and you keep on asking what the date is. You're clearly waiting for someone to arrive, and from the goofy grin you have every time you get your answer, I'm sure it's someone you're interested in. So. Who is it."

Darn Tenten and her deductive skills. Maybe he could get out of this, still, "Ah, actually, I met a lovely girl from my mission in Hoshigakure and she had decided to come for a visit! I am very excited for her arrival. That is all, so—"

Neji cleared his throat, the way he does that makes everyone else shut their mouth. "You would have gone on and on about this 'girl' if that was true. The moment you came back from Hoshigakure, you would have never stopped talking about this new infatuation. So you're lying. There is clearly someone who you'd rather us not know about. Probably someone we know, a Shinobi. Who is this person?"

Lee was going to run, it was obvious in how apprehension thrummed through his figure, and the way his eyes darted in between them in something like fear.

They spent the rest of the evening trying to wheedle out answers from Lee, who in the end, gave up to his instincts and ran, and if there were benefits to being the fastest person in Konoha, he had it.

/

They found out anyway, by a slip of Lee's tongue. They were on their way to the training grounds, when Lee stopped by a light post, leaning close to read one of the flyers posted on it. Tenten peered from over Lee's shoulder. 'Kabuki Performance', it stated, and after a glance at Lee, she saw the unusual amount of warmth in his eyes.

"Tenten, Neji, what date is it today?" Lee murmured his question. At the lack of answers though, he turned around in confusion and stopped dead in his tracks at the expressions on his teammates' faces. Realization was evident from both of them.

"It's the 24th. You're grinning at a flyer for a puppet show." Tenten said quietly.

"And the delegation from Suna are arriving in two days," Neji added, even more flatly than she did.

"Lee," they both simultaneously said, and Lee was already running.

/

"Tenten. Neji. Lee." Temari greeted, eyes settling on the Taijutsu user with something indescribable in her gaze, and Lee was trying really hard not to squirm under her stare. He almost glanced at Kankuro in confusion, not getting why Temari was staring him down like an opponent in the Chuunin exams, but since his own teammates' were right beside him, he refrained himself. Gaara was looking at him as well, but there was blatant curiosity on his face, unlike Temari's stoic stare.

And Kankuro had shook Neji's hand, but Neji was gripping him as fiercely as ever, not letting Kankuro retract his limb. They took to staring at each other as well, with Neji's intimidating white pupils set in a glare, and the weapons' kunoichi glowering was boring a hole through the paint on Kankuro's face, too.

There was something really weird going on.

Neji eventually let Kankuro's hand go, and Temari stopped looking at Lee and both men let out silent breaths of relief.

"Please, let us lead you to your sleeping chambers," Neji stated, unusually chilly, and Tenten grabbed Lee's arm to bring him away. Temari herself had placed a warning hand on Kankuro's shoulder that seemed sisterly, but there was warning in her hold.

Kankuro and Lee's eyes met in a split second, before they moved, and an understanding was exchanged.

They knew.

It wasn't a really fun visit to Konoha for Kankuro, that time.