Title: Liar
Author: Victoria G
Fandom: Sailor Moon
Disclaimer: Rei and Minako do not belong to me. I am simply borrowing them for my own questionable purposes.
Rating: Strong M.

Liar.

I am a liar. I'm lying to myself when I say that I don't want more than this...I do. It's easy because this, I want it hard enough to ache. It's all I think about… for days, hours, before I see you. Knowing what will happen in only the vaguest sense. Your dark desires spill like ink from eyes, fingers, lips as they crush against mine, the words you whisper… it all runs down the length of me, dipping inside me and dying my skin the color of this thing between us. I'm powerless to control any of it and somehow that's exactly what I want, being completely and totally bared… like I am right now… tied to the four corners of a bed. The embarrassment curls in my stomach and crawls across my skin like your teeth, nipping and holding… leaving burning, raised tracks.

"What should I do with you?" You ask me, dancing fingernails across a body that belongs as much to you as it does to me and I have no reply except the tightening of every muscle. Whatever you want to, anything… anything…I need the feel of your hands on me, I need you... to take me... to touch me. The bed shifts and your heat spreads across my stomach, sinking and pressing. The weight of your thighs is heavy on my ribs and I'm biting my lip, to hold in the chaos… you're so many things at once. "No suggestions?" I can't do anything but cry out because… god… my mind erases in the wake of a hard pinch to my nipples. I'm arching into it because I want you to hurt me just a little…because the way it hurts, the way you look when it hurts is too delicious.

The noises I make when I'm with you… like a scared little animal, like something wild… you can devour me whole with a real smile, this is another level entirely…almost effortless for you, isn't it?

Long fingers fit perfectly around my neck, like a collar… lifting my chin and I stare into those dark eyes… "Not a single suggestion? You usually have so much to say…" Your body and your voice stretch across me and my arms strain a bit, but it's just reaction… there is no getting out of this. It's a game… it's half a game, I'm supposed to be a little frightened… and I don't really have to pretend… because I am. I'm scared that I'll lose my mind, scared of what goes on inside yours… but that fear, gripping me, it heightens everything. Winds me taut and when you finally let me go… I don't have a single word to describe what you do to me.

"Anything," I whisper it and watch the slant of your lips and your eyebrow.

That hand slides up, across my face, fingers spreading, and forcing my head to turn sideways. You speak against my ear. "That's a little dangerous don't you think?" All I can do is hold my lip a bit tighter, clench my eyes shut. It's very dangerous. Your lips are impossibly closer to my ear, whispering, brushing… like your other hand, palm flat and gliding up my side. Your words don't soothe me, they're making my heart pound painfully. "You always call me mean … maybe I'll show you a little kindness tonight." Your tone is enough to shake my breath even before your smirking lips, and intense stare. You lean down and kiss me surprisingly softly. "I think maybe I'll kill you with it Minako." I whimper a bit, I can't help myself… the idea of it breaks me up already…and I can feel my stomach muscles quivering.

Your hands are running up my arms already, smoothly, lightly, fingers leading to tangle with mine above our heads as lips meet in a kiss that has none of the bruising intensity I expect and I have no idea what to do except moan into it. This is not what we do… it's too close to what I secretly want from you and it scares me more than waiting for the sting of your palm on my ass ever has.

You don't dominate the kiss like I'm used to and when our tongues touch it's a caress rather than a fight. I feel my eyes close as your lips trail across my jaw, my neck, making me tingle… how this is going to kill me I'm not sure, but I do feel pretty close to heaven. You lift yourself up above me… all the skin on skin gone… just your hair petting me, like silk and my eyelids flutter. When you lean down again, still keeping our bodies from touching, you keep eye contact, closing your mouth around the tip of my breast, watching me and god, you're making it pretty for me, aren't you? All eyes, soft lips, a little bit of tongue swirling, hair deliberately out of your face. My fingers are clenching because they want to be wrapped in soft black strands instead, want to scratch through the bindings at my wrists to get there.

It's never-ending, the attention on my nipples, relentless tender sucking, gentle nipping … making them so hard that they throb, that my back hurts from being pushed up to meet you. I want you on top of me, anything but lonely air chilling wetness left in the wake of your mouth. Tied in this position I can't even clench my thighs, and I'm left open and shamed and wanting, while you work at me... eyes on mine. I'm sure you're enjoying this… watching my pride slowly crumble beneath the growing burden of my own wants. "Please…"

I practically leap out of my skin when your hand runs along my thigh. "Not yet…" My hips turn on the mattress. Your hand reaches up and kneads my breast and I groan… it's frustrating in the best way. You lean up, rolling my nipples between your fingers gently and it makes me tremble. "… you're so beautiful like this…"

I look toward you, shocked by the words you've never said before, but your eyes are already elsewhere, your lips are already against the skin of my stomach. Something between us feels changed... feels different and I don't know what, but I can't think very well at the moment. My head rolls back when the gentle biting starts, between your kiss, hands holding my sides.

You pull back to slip a pillow beneath my hips and you look at me, really look at me there. This is more like what I've come to imagine from you... an exploitation of my helplessness, making my neck and cheeks flame. I can't hide even a little … not from your eyes and not from your hands and not from the kiss you press on the inside of my thigh. You're all over me, the smallest amount of pressure, but always confident, insistent in your touches. I want you so badly right now… I always want you so badly, all it takes is your eyes.

Your kisses are so close… so close that the air as you breathe is the only thing I can feel touching me where I need to be touched, and the roll of my hips begs you. All I get is more fingernails scratching down my inner thigh, a sensual, delicate drag that makes me shake, a kiss just above where I need you so much I'm dying with it. You know what I'm feeling, can see it, so saying the words wouldn't change a thing… because you want me to tremble, want me to fall apart a little, want me to come loose and then you'll be the one to make me whole again. I want that too. Fingers trace along the outside of me, everywhere and I can't stop you, not that I want to, even when they draw my excitement down... across a place you've never touched, a place that makes me jump and shocks me because it doesn't feel bad at all. Because at this point I'd settle for any touch… because I would let you do anything to me because if you want me that way there would be no hesitation, only me offering myself… and god it scares me, how deep into you I am… only you.

You bring your lips to me finally and I fool myself for a second, thinking relief has come but no. You deny me on purpose over and over. Every touch is pure pleasure, sweet, wonderful, but never enough. Your kindness is cruelty… it's driving me insane and I want to beg you to untie my legs, but you won't. I know that… you enjoy my suffering, you crave it and I love to suffer for you… because it means I have something you need… something to give, so I give you every sound I have, everything I feel in moans and cries. You bring your hands into play now, torturing me in even more inventive ways… alternating refusals between your lips, your tongue, your fingers… it seems to go on forever but… then god… you let me and my vision, my heart explodes into tiny hot white sparks. After you've given me release, you give me your hips and I'm happy to take them, happy to be given the chance… I love the way that you taste, the way that you sound… I love… you. I'm happy until I realize that was the beginning… until each torment from before returns, amplified by your own noises echoing into me, against me…

I come so many times that everything feels raw, everything is a single heartbeat, aching and pulsing and I think you might be serious, you might really be trying to kill me this way. My breath is a harsh rasp that squeezes through my teeth and my body is covered in a light sheen of sweat and I can barely control its movements. When I do beg you in near sobs, it's to stop… it's because I don't know what there is left in me, you've pulled everything out. You're in better shape than me, you almost always are because I can't do to you what you do to me… you don't allow that. I can see you're affected though, see the slight shake in your hands.

You untie me, I stay on the bed boneless with my hands on my chest, trying to steady myself, to find my footing in a world that is still shifting like liquid, like my mind. You take me in your arms as you always do… we'll share this bed and then in the morning you'll be gone or I'll be gone and we'll plan for something like this to happen again. In a month, in a week… it doesn't matter. Right now, I'm going to steal this moment and think of you as mine for tonight, for tomorrow too… hold the memory of a soft kiss and lie to myself again, a different lie.

I could drown in what I feel for you, I drown in it every time you touch me. I don't know if you love me and I keep what I feel to myself. I'll pretend this is enough because this is what I know you'll give me, Reiko... and I am a liar.