AN: Sorry folks, been an unforgivably long time since I've updated but life has got in the way a bit. I hope some of you are still with me, I promise we're nearing the end of the mopey chapters! Please review, I'd love to know what you think!

Previously: Snape told Dumbledore where Harry was who then promptly removed him from a very upset Remus.

It was an hour before the sheild Dumbledore put up collapsed, sending Remus sprawling backwards onto the cold wooden floor and jarring him from his trance. He'd moved nowhere since Harry's violent departure, letting the cold of the shack sink into his bones and the unforgiving wooden floor stab at his joints, his rage subsumed by his utter exhaustion.

It was an effort to drag himself to his feet and one he immediately regretted as a calm voice spoke from behind him.

"I think it is time we spoke properly, Remus."

He froze, his back hunched. Please no more.

A deep breath.

"I think I've had enough of speaking properly for one day if I'm quite honest Professor." His voiced croaked as he turned to face the headmaster, fighting the frantic messages from his body telling him to run, to attack, to collapse back to the floor, to do anything other than talk this man.

Dumbledore smiled gently. "Yes, I imagine you have Remus, but nevertheless, I think we do need to speak."

He hated that smile. Merlin, how he hated it. How could he smile at a time like this?

"I have nothing left to say." Remus kept his eyes down, burning holes in the floor.

"Then perhaps you'll listen?"

"No." He said, anger finally entering his voice, his eyes snapping up to meet Dumbledore's, "I listened to you earlier and you dragged Harry away screaming to the Dursleys. I should have hexed you on the spot but I gave you the benefit of the doubt and you betrayed that. You betrayed Harry and you betrayed the memory of Lily and James. I refuse to listen to anymore of your half baked philosophising when all it ever seems to lead to is Harry's misery. I rather think I won't be accountable for my actions if we speak any more, Headmaster. So no, I will not speak to you again. And Harry will never be happy there." He gritted out.

"No, he won't. He won't be happy there, of course, you're right." Dumbledore said sadly, "But sadly, not for the first time, and I am certain not the last, Harry's happiness cannot come first. It is at present his lot in life. Remus, if ever there were a man to trust to love that boy as Lily and James did it is you, but it's his safety for which ultimately I am responsible, and he is not safe here. I am terribly sorry for that… for both of you."

"But I am not here to speak to you about Harry." The older man continued, Remus' silence apparently speaking loud enough. He wished his silence had been enough to make the man leave entirely. What could Dumbledore possibly have to say to him after all that had already been said?

But he'd take the bait if it got him gone sooner.

"Then what?" He finally replied after a long pause, staggering over to the heavy wooden table and righting a chair that had been knocked down in the struggle earlier.

"Well, you, dear boy."

Remus slumped heavily into the chair. Anything but this.

"What could you possibly have to say to me now?"

Dumbledore walked over to the table too, copying Remus' actions and picking up another of the hard, uncomfortable chairs, sat down, though Remus was sure he could have conjured something far less Spartan. He considered Remus' defeated form for a while before he spoke.

"I think quite a lot. It has been five years after all. I confess I worried what had become of you."

Well, that was the question really, wasn't it?

"I imagine you saw my flat?"

"I did, yes."

"And what did you think?"

"I thought it... very simple, very bare."

"You have your answer then, Professor."

Dumbledore smiled sadly.

"I think you've sold yourself short then Remus. Bare, perhaps, for the time being, but your life has never been simple."

Remus frowned.

"You don't think so? I think… I think my life has always been rather simple. I think, really, it was only ever going to go one way and wealth and happiness was never it."

"Because you're a werewolf?"

"Because I'm a werewolf, yes."

Dumbledore seemed lost in thought for second.

"Remus can I tell you a story?"

"I think there's very little I could do to stop you, Professor."

"On the contrary, I will leave the moment you ask me to. Something you have yet to do."

That was true. Remus wondered why that was. Exhaustion perhaps, desire for news on Harry maybe, a masochistic streak a mile wide almost certainly… but the fact remained that, whatever the reason, he hadn't asked the Headmaster to go.

"Okay then, fine. Tell me your story."

"It is scarcely my story, but yes, I will tell it." Dumbledore said, leaning forward slightly in his chair, the light from the bare candles flickering off his glasses.

"It was many years ago now, on a winter's night that stands out in my mind more than most, and believe me, I have seen many nights and many extraordinary things," He began, voice slow and tired. "But that night is always there, somewhere in the back of my mind. It was late and I was working at my desk, a new and somewhat nervous headmaster, when an old friend of mine fire called me, crying, pleading for my help. I went with him immediately, through his house and into his front room where a little boy lay shaking and covered in blood on a sofa, too frightened and hurt to even speak. There was nothing I could do but heal his wounds as best I could. I was there for hours and eventually the boy's parents fell asleep. I stayed on, watching over the boy as the night began to turn to morning and the boy finally woke up. He was scared, he knew what had happened to him but didn't fully understand I don't think. So it fell to me to explain it to him.

"I told him the truth. I told him that things were going to be harder for him than other people, that he'd have more responsibilities and that life would be less kind but that he owed it to himself not to let that stop him. I'm not sure he really understood me, he was very young and very sick after all, but he nodded so I smiled and sat with him until he slept.

"Five years later I was back at the house, the boy was ten now and he wanted to go to Hogwarts. There were many, many reasons why that might have been unwise but he wanted to go and so we made it happen. I hoped he'd remembered those words I'd told him all those years ago.

"Of course, you know that story Remus; it is yours. I watched you grow from a terrified little boy into someone who wouldn't let misfortune stop him from living a life. Someone I was, and am, incredibly proud to know. It saddens me beyond words that life, yet again, was so cruel to you by taking away your friends, but please don't give up. You have always forged your own path Remus, against every expectation, but I can see that terrified boy in you today more than ever before, so I encourage you to think hard about what I said to you the night we first met."

There was another long moment of silence. Remus didn't know what to say, not even what to think.

Dumbledore filled the silence.

"You've got a lot to think about so I'll leave you. Your flat is still yours if you want it, though for obvious reasons you can't go back to teach at St Grogory's. It would be good to hear from you again dear boy, and if you are ever looking for work I have a good friend who is in need of a research assistant. I do understand if you want to continue to keep a distance between yourself and the magical world though, and if that is the way of it, I can only wish you all the luck in the world and assure you once again of my absolute faith in you to overcome."

With that the headmaster rose from the chair and left the room with one final glance back at Remus, sitting almost exactly as he found him. Exhausted, miserable and worried. But perhaps sitting a little straighter.

"This is your room then, boy. Can't say we don't look after you now can you?" Exalted Uncle Vernon as he showed Harry inside.

It felt like months since Harry had been there last so it was strange to think it was only days; such a huge amount had changed. How was he supposed to go back to being normal when he knew magic existed? How was he meant to put up with the Dursleys when he knew there was something far far better waiting for him (where exactly he didn't know but that was something to worry about later)?

And now Mr Dursley was showing Harry to his new room, an action so strange it almost rivalled what had happened over the last week.

A pudgy hand on Harry's collar jerked him back from the door.

"This is isn't fair!" Dudley cried loudly, tugging Harry further away.

Things hadn't changed too much then, Harry thought with a roll of his eyes.

"Where are my things going to go now? Harry's got his room under the stairs, why does he get my other room?"

"Be quiet Dudley!" Aunt Petunia hissed, slapping away Dudley's hand and looking around alarmed as though Professor Dumbeldore was still there. As it happened the old man had left twenty minutes before, leaving Harry with an aunt and uncle who were almost tripping over their feet to accommodate him. He wondered what Professor Dumbledore had said to them. Something that scared them certainly if they were so eager to give him Dudley's spare room.

"Thank you." Harry mumbled, walking inside. It was better than the cupboard under the stairs but it was nothing like the room Mr Lupin had made for him. There were no stars on the ceiling, or dragons on the duvet or toys in a chest at the end of his bed. And most importantly, there was no Mr Lupin.

Harry wondered what Mr Lupin was doing. The last he'd seen him he'd been throwing himself at the wall that Dumbledore had put up. Harry had been scared, partly because Mr Lupin was a werewolf and was very angry but mostly because he didn't want to go back to the Dursleys, particularly back to Mr Dursley who would probably find some excuse to kill him. No, he didn't want to go back one bit.

But Professor Dumbledore had said he couldn't stay there. A deep scowl crossed his face.

"Chin up lad, eh!" said Mr Dursley, with forced jollity, jarring Harry out of his thoughts. "School tomorrow! Bet you're looking forward to that, aren't you?"

Harry looked at Mr Dursley like he'd grown an extra head. What on earth was going on?

"Erm… no. Not really."

"Ah well, never mind, never mind. No sensible young man ever liked school. And sensible you are! Yes… Yes." He paused, rictus grin on his sweaty face, not quite sure what to say. "Right-ho then, I will leave you to get some sleep Harry. Good night!"

"… G'night?" replied Harry, entirely bemused.

Mr Dursley shuffled out, smiling all the way before shutting the door sharply and trundling quickly down the stairs, leaving Harry to collapse backwards onto the bed.

It didn't matter that the Dursley's were leaving him alone. It didn't matter that he had his own room. All that mattered was that he was not back in the shack with Mr Lupin. How would he learn about magic now, or about his parents? It had been wonderful those couple of days in the shack. Very strange indeed, but utterly fantastic. But now Mr Lupin was gone, probably badly hurt, and Harry was all alone again.

It had taken Remus a day to get back to his flat. There had been a huge amount to do, and none of it easy. Packing away Harry's brand new things had been a particularly unpleasant task, only serving to remind him of the little boy's absence. He'd only had Harry under his care for a short while but the weight of his absence was crushing. It had to be done though. The shack had to be cleared out and Remus had get back to his life.

Dumbledore was absolutely right in one sense; Remus' life, to all intents and purposes, had ended with Lily, James and Peter's that night six year ago. He'd moved blankly between jobs, between flats, between people, never really committing himself to any of them, never really moving on. If his old friends could see him now they'd be utterly appalled at what had (and hadn't) become of him. But it was time for his life to begin again, and as agonising as it had been to clear the shack of Harry's things, it had to be done, because today was going to be a new day, and what this new day needed was a new plan.

So he made one.

Step one: Go back to the flat.

Simple enough.

Step two: Get a job.

Not quite as easy but if Dumbledore's contact came through with the research job, Remus thought that would do.

Step three: See his old friends.

A lot more complicated, firstly because most of them were dead, and secondly because Remus had rather promptly severed contact with the ones that were alive after Voldemort had fallen. He had genuinely missed all of those old faces from the Order but the thought of seeing them, of bringing back memories best left alone, had kept him well away. It was time for that to change though.

Dumbledore would be proud, he though with a wry smile.

Which brought him on to step four: Get Harry back.

Almost impossible but that wasn't going to stop him for second. As far as Dumbledore was right about Remus letting his life stagnate, he was absolutely wrong about where Harry was going to safest because if he, drunk and furious, managed to take Harry from the Dursley's home, he shuddered to think how vulnerable Harry was to someone in a state of sobriety with some earthly idea of what they were doing. So Harry had to be back with him.

But as the saying went, things were significantly easier said then done. He'd left the Shack buoyed by Dumbledore's words, the motivational wind beneath his tattered sails, but once he'd reached the flat, the gale had passed, and defeated, he slumped, list crumpled in his fist. His head fell back against the cushions of his sofa.

Merlin, he was so tired. Tired of Snape and his bitterness, Dumbledore and his good intentions, but most of all with himself and his inability to get it right for once. It may well have been a new day but it was still the old Remus and what could he honestly do about any of this.

He left his head resting against the scratchy cushions of his sofa and closed his eyes.

AN: So we leave poor old Remus in a state of crushing misery (again) and Harry not much better off. The end of the angst is in sight though, you'll be pleased to hear and the next chapter is already partly written so hopefully no more three month gaps in updates! Please do leave a few words, I'd love to get an idea of how you're all finding it and whether anyone's still with me. Thanks again!