Against Nature

Disclaimer: I don't own anything from the Hobbit/Lord of the Rings franchise and I'm not making any money from this fic

Summary: During the battle of the Five Armies, Kili leaves Fili's side to protect Bilbo. When that results in Fili getting badly hurt, Kili wrestles with his guilt

Warning(s): Spanking; spoilers for the films and book of the Hobbit; AU; some violence

Author's Note: The good intentions of working on original fiction apparently doesn't work when I have plot bunnies clawing at my leg. So if I feed the plot bunnies, maybe they'll let me work on my original fiction

Kili sat next to his brother's bed, staring at Fili's limp form. This was his fault. He should never have left Fili's side. If he hadn't, his brother wouldn't have been so badly hurt - because Kili would have been there to protect him. As he always had been. As he always should have been.

Fili moved, his brow wrinkling in his sleep, though he didn't open his eyes. Kili shifted slightly, wanting to reach out and take his brother's hand, so Fili knew he wasn't alone. But Kili worried that Fili's injuries were so severe, even the lightest touch would cause him agony.

"Your brother will live."

Kili didn't have to look round to know who had come up behind him. His uncle had been hurt. That was why Fili and Kili had been with him. Even though they weren't sure how serious it was, they couldn't do anything other than protect their leader. Kili knew his brother as well as he knew himself. Despite how Thorin had treated Bilbo, Kili knew that he and his brother still respected their uncle. He hadn't been himself.

But he was back to normal now; no longer the stranger who had been obsessed with all the gold and wealth amassed in Erebor.

Thorin sat carefully next to Kili and placed a hand on his shoulder, his movements stiff and pained. Although he was moving around, the wounds hadn't fully healed - and Kili suspected he would have more scars to add to his collection.

Kili allowed himself a moment to be comforted before he pulled away from Thorin's touch, feeling like he didn't deserve it. "Even if he recovers, he won't ever want to speak to me again."

"Why do you think that?"

"It was my fault he got hurt."

"It wasn't your fault, Kili," Thorin replied, putting his hand on Kili's shoulder once more. "You saved Bilbo when you moved away to shoot that orc. No one can blame you for trying to save someone who couldn't defend himself."

Kili just shook his head, staring at Fili as if he could will his brother awake. "I don't deserve to be here. You should banish me, Uncle."

"You fought as hard as anyone to save our home. You and your brother defended me while I was wounded, even though I know how much my sickness upset you." Thorin paused briefly. "I asked Gandalf to take the Arkenstone as far away as possible. It's the only thing I can think of that was the cause of how twisted I became."

Kili sighed quietly, unconsciously relaxing under Thorin's hand. The guilt still weighed heavily on his shoulders, though. "I'm glad you're better now. How is Bilbo?"

Thorin's gaze slid away from Kili. "I haven't spoken to him yet."

"Why?"

"I banished him. I'm not sure he really wants to speak to me."

Kili wanted to protest, but then again, he was certain Fili would never want to even see him again, let alone speak to him. He wasn't even really sure he could offer comfort to anyone. At least it seemed like his uncle didn't hate him. But he wouldn't be surprised if Fili did. He wouldn't even be able to blame Fili.

"Fili loves you," Thorin said after a moment. "Ever since you were born, you two have been inseparable. You've always looked up to him and he's always protected you. Give him a chance to talk to you before you assume he hates you."

Kili just sighed, watching Fili's limp form. He wanted his brother to wake up... but at the same time, he dreaded how Fili would react.

Fili wasn't sure how much time had passed before he finally woke. His dreams had been confusing and unsettling and as his eyes flickered open, he looked around frantically, searching for the rest of the company - and his uncle and brother in particular.

"Rest easy, Fili. You're safe."

Fili didn't relax, even as he recognised his uncle's voice. "Kili?"

Thorin made a sound that was half-exasperated, half-fondness. "He's fine. Sleeping at the moment. He hasn't left your side."

Fili tilted his head down and saw Kili. His brother's dark head rested on his folded arms, leaning on Fili's bed. Fili reached down and gently stroked his fingers through his brother's hair, careful not to wake him. He could see that, even in his sleep, Kili's face looked strained - though probably no better than he himself would look if it was Kili hurt and not him.

"How are you feeling?" Thorin asked.

"Stiff... hungry," Fili replied, not taking his eyes off of Kili. "Not as hungry as a hobbit, though."

"I'll get you something to eat." Thorin stood before adding, "Your brother is worried you won't want to speak to or even see him again. I know that isn't the case, but he's going to need reassurance."

Fili just nodded, then sighed as he watched his uncle walk away. He knew what Kili needing reassurance meant - at least in this case. He continued running his fingers through Kili's hair, as dark as his own was blond. "Kili, wake up," he said softly.

Kili stirred immediately, sitting up but looking down. "Fili... I'm sorry. I should never have walked away and left you."

Fili shook his head, tugging Kili onto the bed with him and wrapping his arms around his brother. "It wasn't your fault."

In spite of the guilt Fili knew he was feeling, Kili just snuggled into Fili's arms without any embarrassment. "It was my fault. I even told Uncle he should banish me."

"That wouldn't happen."

"He told me that..." Kili was silent for a moment or two before speaking in a soft, almost childlike voice. "It hurts, Fili. I'm sorry. Forgive me."

"There's nothing to forgive." Fili spoke firmly, but he could tell Kili wasn't absorbing what he was saying. With a sigh - he didn't want this to be the first thing he and his brother did - he turned Kili in his arms, settling his brother across his knees, which he stretched out on the bed.

Kili didn't fight or protest and just leaned his head against his arms, his hair falling over his face and hiding his expression from Fili's view. That was all right. Fili didn't need to see his face.

Fili lifted his hand to shoulder height and brought it down hard across Kili's backside.

Kili jerked, but didn't make a sound. Fili hated having to do this, but he resigned himself to helping his little brother deal with his guilt - a task Fili had taken on since he'd been old enough to do so.

Fili landed another swat directly on top of the first and felt his brother jump. The third and fourth swats landed in the same place as well as the next several, until he heard Kili whimper. Then, he moved onto the opposite cheek, landing the same amount of swats and quickly setting his brother wriggling and squirming.

By the time Fili reached Kili's thighs, his palm was stinging. He paused to lower Kili's trousers down to his knees before wrapping his arm around Kili's waist, knowing - from past experience - that holding still would be nearly impossible for his brother from this point.

Kili's bottom was already a light pink in colour, down to his thighs. Fili rubbed his lower back a moment before he brought his hand down for the next round.

Kili always accused Fili of using more force after his trousers came down. Fili knew he kept his strength carefully controlled and told his brother it just hurt more because his backside had no protection. The sound was certainly louder and had a crisp edge to it as Fili's bare hand slapped Kili's bare bottom.

Fili repeated his earlier pattern, but this time, Kili was wriggling around a lot more. When Kili threw his hand back, Fili allowed him to rub his heated backside briefly before moving his hand back round in front of him.

Reaching Kili's thighs for the second time, Fili paused, resting his hand on his brother's red bottom. "Enough?"

Kili had started crying softly somewhere in the middle of the second circuit, but as Fili asked the question, he shook his head.

Fili sighed, though he wasn't really surprised. "Give me your hand."

Kili put his hand back and Fili grabbed it, holding it against his brother's back. Taking a deep breath, he began swatting again, abandoning his methodical approach to land sharp smacks that were impossible to predict where the next swat would fall.

Kili's squirming and writhing became more desperate, his feet drumming on the bed next to Fili. His sobs became louder as Fili's hand landed unerringly on every tender inch of his backside.

"Enough! Please..." Kili collapsed over Fili's knees, all fight having fled.

Fili stopped instantly, pulling Kili's trousers up and ignoring his brother's quiet hiss of pain as the material moved over his sore thighs and backside. Fili then lifted Kili into his arms to cuddle him close and tight, relaxing when Kili wrapped his arms around his neck and pressed his face into his shoulder as he cried.

Knowing that it was important for his brother to release himself fully of his guilt, Fili didn't rush Kili, instead just held him tightly, stroking Kili's hair soothingly.

It took a long time for Kili's tears to die down, but even once they did, he stayed leaning against his brother. "I'm sorry."

Fili shook his head. "No apologies, Kili. You didn't mean for me to get hurt and you went to save Bilbo. I know we need to take on the role of princes, but... let's just spend a bit of time being brothers first. All right?"

Kili nodded and settled against Fili, closing his eyes with a quiet sigh.

The End