DUCK, DOG, AND BOY WITH KEY: A TALE OF KINGDOM HEARTS
~The NEED to write this was too great. Pity me. I, da Silver Neko, who has rained countless fics with Kimahri, the Ronso Blue Mage/Dragoon from Final Fantasy 10, narrating the plots of Squaresoft games in his horrible grammar, have decided to write about one of zee greatest games ever made: Kingdom Hearts. Words cannot describe the warm feeling that this game gives me, how it takes me back to the days when me 'n me brother, Mr. Pink, would pop a Disney video(Like Aladdin) into our hapless VCR and watch dat movie again and again and AGAIN. The madness. Now YOU TOO can suffer at the hands of my......hands. Yes....read and become obsessed with the game as I have. Do eet! Anyway, SHINE GET! I mean, the story starts now. Yay!~Silver Neko, having a very happy un-birthday. Yay!
"Kimahri am actually looking forward to babbling about this...thing. Kimahri is being sarcastic, if you no can tell. Kimahri can understand if Kimahri have fooled you with Kimahri's polite table manners. Anyway, ONCE UPON TIME! There am many, many worlds, each one not know about other ones. Thus, everything all hunky-dory. Yay. There am bright and shiny Disney worlds and poopy and angst filled Final Fantasy worlds like one Kimahri live in. Whee. Story REALLY begin when Key Boy(He no have Key now, so Kimahri just call him Boy) am having lucid dream where he questioning his own sanity while falling through ocean. Then trippy music start! Kimahri luv this song!
Boy suddenly on beach. He see friend: Spooky Boy, out in water. Boy smile and then plan on tackling pal, but oh no! Horrible wave gunna splash Spooky boy! Spooky boy turn around and hold out hand to Boy as if to say, "Save me before I get wet, even though I am perfectly capable of calmly walking away from this impending wave." Boy run out to Spooky Boy but they both get consumed by wave. Teehee, consume. Underwater, Spooky boy am perfectly fine good calm, but Boy am struggling in powerful water pully. He then get sucked deep into sea. THEN, he float up to surface when it am sunset. He pop up and complain about moisture and sand in every part of body. But ooooh! It am other friend: That Girl who pops up in random places, or as Kimahri like to call her: "That Girl" (That Girl theme: Duh duh duh dun duh DUH!).
That Girl wave and smile at Boy and Boy wave back. Awww. She run up to her and she laugh at him because he been swimming in his silly, silly shoes. Awww. She suddenly look up and gasp. This am where things become "Zoinks" as Shaggy put it. Boy look up too and see HIMSELF falling with meteor shower. He look concerned and then spooked as he fall backwards as water below turn into SKY and he fall INTO it. That Girl look down at him from above in concern. Boy fall fall fall and then get silhouetted against sun and then plunge into sea AGAIN. He then sink like drowned corpse he so am. He land on ground and many birdies fly up into air...or am it water? Boy then look down to see stained glass church window of Snow Lady and 7 other grown men whom she live with. DISNEY AM YOU GOD! WORSHIP!
An-ee-way, words that appear in air say stuff that am noble. They say pick thingy up, so Boy obey and pick thing up. They say throw thingy away, Boy obey. They say kill shadow bugs who am trying to claw out heart and turn it into sugary treat. Boy do this and then have many scabs afterward. After that come Sleepy lady floor. Somewhere in-between floors, Boy am taken to island home where he talk to spooky versions of his friends who ask him what he scared of. He say that he scared of being forced to live with bipedal Dog who say, "Garwsh" in-between every sentence. He so scared. They then ask him what he want out of pathetic life. Boy say that he want to mooch off of parents for rest of lazy life. Friends finally ask what Boy think am most important to him. Boy triumphantly announce, "PUBERTY!"
He then on Be my guest floor. He just pop back onto that plain of existence. Gasp! Boy's shadow have life of his own! He want to SMASH Boy into Boy goo. But Boy use DISNEY SWORD of bad reviews to swipe off hand of Shadow. This hurt Shadow's feelings. Sniff. Boy then get dragged into shadow goo. He look very upset. Yay! He then wake up from dream that previous events was and see THAT GIRL(Duh duh duh dun duh DUH!). She call him a Bum and then Spooky boy come and drop log on Boy's fragile organs. EET TIME TO RACE FOR GREAT JUSTICE! That Girl, Boy and Spooky boy am planning on building raft so that they go and see other "Worlds". Not other lands or countries, but worlds. Kimahri believes that this require rocket ship, not floaty boaty. Later, That Girl(Duh duh duh dun duh DUH!) order Boy to gather things to make Raft with. Boy comply. He look all over island(Which am really like playground for little kids. The kids really am live on an island that am near this island. That mean them DO have parents.) for stuff. While he do so, he run into other pals. Boy run into Boy with odd hair(Also know as Man with odd hair). Boy with odd hair say, "Hey, what's happening!" then as afterthought, adds, "Man." He no sound like Japanese Jamaican Canadian from New Jersey that he supposed to. He then challenge Boy to fight of fighting. They fight and Boy with odd hair hit Boy in stomach with ball. "My organs!" Boy exclaims. Boy then jabs Boy with odd hair in ribs REALLY hard with wooden sword. Boy wins! Boy with odd hair go, "You good!" and then adds, "eh?"
As Boy continue journey for lumber, he run into....HYPER GIRL! She also known as Ninja turtle numb-chuck girl, but when she use jump rope, she HYPER GIRL! EXCLAMATION MARK! She talk about things and then start to bullwhip poor Boy with jump rope. NOT THE FACE! He then whack her with wooden sword and she cry and run away. Boy win but must live with bruises. He THEN run into.....WHY GAWD?! WHY?! IT BOY FROM 1000 YEARS AGO! Here he called.....Boy from now! Noooo! Boy then beat up horrible little spoiled Boy from now. Yay! Then Boy decide to beat up Spooky boy. Spooky boy laugh at stupid friend of his, until he get stabbed in belly and keel over in discomfort. Boy cheer with glee, but then Spooky boy kick him into water and onto Sea urchin. Ow with pain! After dat, Boy limp back to That girl(Duh duh duh dun duh DUH!) and deliver things. She say yay and pat him on head. Then everyone decide to head back home for sleepy fun. Awww. But on....ANOTHER WORLD, there am bad stuff brewing!
On Disneyland world, Duck who am Black Mage cheerily walk down hallway to see King. He walk into throne room and say something incomprehensible, but Kimahri going to assume it something in terms of, "Every day be jolly good!" Teehee. But gasp for you! King Rodent no there! Doggy pop up with letter for Duck. Duck read letter, read it again, and then run down the halls screaming like a screaming thing that screams. Duck is funny. Duck run into garden where Dog am sleeping lazy life away. Duck scream at Dog, probably saying, "Awaken comrade! There is great peril!" But Dog just sleep and gurgle. Duck, filled with great rage at stupid Dog whom he stuck for life with, use magic to electrocute Dog awake. Yay! Duck yell to Dog about stuff. He say no tell nobody about it. Dog say, "Queen?" Duck say, "No tell Queen!" Dog say, "Duchess Ducky?" Duck scream, "No tell Ducky!" Suddenly there is clearing of throat. Duck whips around to see Queen Rodent and Duchess Ducky(His Girlfriend! Aww!) glaring at Ducks shock filled head. Silly Duck!
Back on NORMAL WORLD, Boy, Spooky Boy and That Girl(Duh duh duh dun duh DUH!) am putting finishing touches on raft, like food. AS Boy look in secret cave for food, Mystery man pop up and say that everyone am stupid. Boy shake fist and the man disappear. Yay? Later, on other side of island, Spooky boy want to name boat after one thing, but Boy want to name it after 'nother thing! EET TIME TO RACE FOR GREAT JUSTICE! Whoop! Spooky Boy win. BACK ON DISNEYLAND WORLD! Duck, Dog, Ducky and Queen am going over letter. It say, in King Rodents disturbing way of talking, that every time a star goes out, a planet has exploded. Then there stuff about Keys and holes the keys go in. And Duck and Dog must go find Key MASTA! And also find man named LEON(We all yes know who that eez!). SO, Queen make Duck and Dog take annoying little bug with them named "Stupid Bug in Hat" He burrow into your head and make cozy living room! SO, Duck and Dog and Stupid bug talk about things and Duck say how that all Disney worlds am not supposed to know about each other or there be a Paradox. In simple talky: Stupid+World=Reality not caving in on itself. Yay!
So Duck, Dog, Stupid Bug and Doggy get on ship of tasty Gummy and fly into outer space, which am Tie-dyed for reasons that escape Kimahri's brain. BACK ON DOOMED WORLD, Boy am at home in bed, when he see that there am storm over Island that raft. Gasp. So Boy row out to island and run into horrible little bug shadow things. Boy run into Spooky Boy and Spooky boy....say....stuff. They then get sucked into dark doom. BUT THEN! Bright light come and Boy find he holding large Key. BOY IS EVOLVING! BOY HAS EVOLVED INTO KEY BOY! KEY BOY LEARNED THE "KILL THINGS" ATTACK! Whee! With Key, Key Boy go into secret cave and find sad That girl. No, there no catchy tune dis time. She disappear in Key Boy's arms and then horrible wind blow(Hehehe, "Blow") Key Boy back outside. Gasp! Whole world has been reduced to small chunk of land! Gasp more! Embodiment of Key Boy's shadow am back! But Key Boy KEEL EET good. Then Key Boy and last of Key Boy's world get sucked into vortex of doom. THE END!
........Well at least Kimahri WISH that the end. But Kimahri am wrong. So very wrong.
~Whoo~ I got that chap done in less then an hour! I can do this! I can do eet! Yay. I have a whole week off from school so that means time to work on all of my stories! Read 'em all or I'll get Cancer! That's a BAD thing. I can't wait for Cubivore ta come out in November. I thought they'd never release it in America. SO I MUST WAIT! Now I will go and see if its time for food. Silly me! Its ALWAYS time for food!~Silver Neko, Embodiment of your tears!
~The NEED to write this was too great. Pity me. I, da Silver Neko, who has rained countless fics with Kimahri, the Ronso Blue Mage/Dragoon from Final Fantasy 10, narrating the plots of Squaresoft games in his horrible grammar, have decided to write about one of zee greatest games ever made: Kingdom Hearts. Words cannot describe the warm feeling that this game gives me, how it takes me back to the days when me 'n me brother, Mr. Pink, would pop a Disney video(Like Aladdin) into our hapless VCR and watch dat movie again and again and AGAIN. The madness. Now YOU TOO can suffer at the hands of my......hands. Yes....read and become obsessed with the game as I have. Do eet! Anyway, SHINE GET! I mean, the story starts now. Yay!~Silver Neko, having a very happy un-birthday. Yay!
"Kimahri am actually looking forward to babbling about this...thing. Kimahri is being sarcastic, if you no can tell. Kimahri can understand if Kimahri have fooled you with Kimahri's polite table manners. Anyway, ONCE UPON TIME! There am many, many worlds, each one not know about other ones. Thus, everything all hunky-dory. Yay. There am bright and shiny Disney worlds and poopy and angst filled Final Fantasy worlds like one Kimahri live in. Whee. Story REALLY begin when Key Boy(He no have Key now, so Kimahri just call him Boy) am having lucid dream where he questioning his own sanity while falling through ocean. Then trippy music start! Kimahri luv this song!
Boy suddenly on beach. He see friend: Spooky Boy, out in water. Boy smile and then plan on tackling pal, but oh no! Horrible wave gunna splash Spooky boy! Spooky boy turn around and hold out hand to Boy as if to say, "Save me before I get wet, even though I am perfectly capable of calmly walking away from this impending wave." Boy run out to Spooky Boy but they both get consumed by wave. Teehee, consume. Underwater, Spooky boy am perfectly fine good calm, but Boy am struggling in powerful water pully. He then get sucked deep into sea. THEN, he float up to surface when it am sunset. He pop up and complain about moisture and sand in every part of body. But ooooh! It am other friend: That Girl who pops up in random places, or as Kimahri like to call her: "That Girl" (That Girl theme: Duh duh duh dun duh DUH!).
That Girl wave and smile at Boy and Boy wave back. Awww. She run up to her and she laugh at him because he been swimming in his silly, silly shoes. Awww. She suddenly look up and gasp. This am where things become "Zoinks" as Shaggy put it. Boy look up too and see HIMSELF falling with meteor shower. He look concerned and then spooked as he fall backwards as water below turn into SKY and he fall INTO it. That Girl look down at him from above in concern. Boy fall fall fall and then get silhouetted against sun and then plunge into sea AGAIN. He then sink like drowned corpse he so am. He land on ground and many birdies fly up into air...or am it water? Boy then look down to see stained glass church window of Snow Lady and 7 other grown men whom she live with. DISNEY AM YOU GOD! WORSHIP!
An-ee-way, words that appear in air say stuff that am noble. They say pick thingy up, so Boy obey and pick thing up. They say throw thingy away, Boy obey. They say kill shadow bugs who am trying to claw out heart and turn it into sugary treat. Boy do this and then have many scabs afterward. After that come Sleepy lady floor. Somewhere in-between floors, Boy am taken to island home where he talk to spooky versions of his friends who ask him what he scared of. He say that he scared of being forced to live with bipedal Dog who say, "Garwsh" in-between every sentence. He so scared. They then ask him what he want out of pathetic life. Boy say that he want to mooch off of parents for rest of lazy life. Friends finally ask what Boy think am most important to him. Boy triumphantly announce, "PUBERTY!"
He then on Be my guest floor. He just pop back onto that plain of existence. Gasp! Boy's shadow have life of his own! He want to SMASH Boy into Boy goo. But Boy use DISNEY SWORD of bad reviews to swipe off hand of Shadow. This hurt Shadow's feelings. Sniff. Boy then get dragged into shadow goo. He look very upset. Yay! He then wake up from dream that previous events was and see THAT GIRL(Duh duh duh dun duh DUH!). She call him a Bum and then Spooky boy come and drop log on Boy's fragile organs. EET TIME TO RACE FOR GREAT JUSTICE! That Girl, Boy and Spooky boy am planning on building raft so that they go and see other "Worlds". Not other lands or countries, but worlds. Kimahri believes that this require rocket ship, not floaty boaty. Later, That Girl(Duh duh duh dun duh DUH!) order Boy to gather things to make Raft with. Boy comply. He look all over island(Which am really like playground for little kids. The kids really am live on an island that am near this island. That mean them DO have parents.) for stuff. While he do so, he run into other pals. Boy run into Boy with odd hair(Also know as Man with odd hair). Boy with odd hair say, "Hey, what's happening!" then as afterthought, adds, "Man." He no sound like Japanese Jamaican Canadian from New Jersey that he supposed to. He then challenge Boy to fight of fighting. They fight and Boy with odd hair hit Boy in stomach with ball. "My organs!" Boy exclaims. Boy then jabs Boy with odd hair in ribs REALLY hard with wooden sword. Boy wins! Boy with odd hair go, "You good!" and then adds, "eh?"
As Boy continue journey for lumber, he run into....HYPER GIRL! She also known as Ninja turtle numb-chuck girl, but when she use jump rope, she HYPER GIRL! EXCLAMATION MARK! She talk about things and then start to bullwhip poor Boy with jump rope. NOT THE FACE! He then whack her with wooden sword and she cry and run away. Boy win but must live with bruises. He THEN run into.....WHY GAWD?! WHY?! IT BOY FROM 1000 YEARS AGO! Here he called.....Boy from now! Noooo! Boy then beat up horrible little spoiled Boy from now. Yay! Then Boy decide to beat up Spooky boy. Spooky boy laugh at stupid friend of his, until he get stabbed in belly and keel over in discomfort. Boy cheer with glee, but then Spooky boy kick him into water and onto Sea urchin. Ow with pain! After dat, Boy limp back to That girl(Duh duh duh dun duh DUH!) and deliver things. She say yay and pat him on head. Then everyone decide to head back home for sleepy fun. Awww. But on....ANOTHER WORLD, there am bad stuff brewing!
On Disneyland world, Duck who am Black Mage cheerily walk down hallway to see King. He walk into throne room and say something incomprehensible, but Kimahri going to assume it something in terms of, "Every day be jolly good!" Teehee. But gasp for you! King Rodent no there! Doggy pop up with letter for Duck. Duck read letter, read it again, and then run down the halls screaming like a screaming thing that screams. Duck is funny. Duck run into garden where Dog am sleeping lazy life away. Duck scream at Dog, probably saying, "Awaken comrade! There is great peril!" But Dog just sleep and gurgle. Duck, filled with great rage at stupid Dog whom he stuck for life with, use magic to electrocute Dog awake. Yay! Duck yell to Dog about stuff. He say no tell nobody about it. Dog say, "Queen?" Duck say, "No tell Queen!" Dog say, "Duchess Ducky?" Duck scream, "No tell Ducky!" Suddenly there is clearing of throat. Duck whips around to see Queen Rodent and Duchess Ducky(His Girlfriend! Aww!) glaring at Ducks shock filled head. Silly Duck!
Back on NORMAL WORLD, Boy, Spooky Boy and That Girl(Duh duh duh dun duh DUH!) am putting finishing touches on raft, like food. AS Boy look in secret cave for food, Mystery man pop up and say that everyone am stupid. Boy shake fist and the man disappear. Yay? Later, on other side of island, Spooky boy want to name boat after one thing, but Boy want to name it after 'nother thing! EET TIME TO RACE FOR GREAT JUSTICE! Whoop! Spooky Boy win. BACK ON DISNEYLAND WORLD! Duck, Dog, Ducky and Queen am going over letter. It say, in King Rodents disturbing way of talking, that every time a star goes out, a planet has exploded. Then there stuff about Keys and holes the keys go in. And Duck and Dog must go find Key MASTA! And also find man named LEON(We all yes know who that eez!). SO, Queen make Duck and Dog take annoying little bug with them named "Stupid Bug in Hat" He burrow into your head and make cozy living room! SO, Duck and Dog and Stupid bug talk about things and Duck say how that all Disney worlds am not supposed to know about each other or there be a Paradox. In simple talky: Stupid+World=Reality not caving in on itself. Yay!
So Duck, Dog, Stupid Bug and Doggy get on ship of tasty Gummy and fly into outer space, which am Tie-dyed for reasons that escape Kimahri's brain. BACK ON DOOMED WORLD, Boy am at home in bed, when he see that there am storm over Island that raft. Gasp. So Boy row out to island and run into horrible little bug shadow things. Boy run into Spooky Boy and Spooky boy....say....stuff. They then get sucked into dark doom. BUT THEN! Bright light come and Boy find he holding large Key. BOY IS EVOLVING! BOY HAS EVOLVED INTO KEY BOY! KEY BOY LEARNED THE "KILL THINGS" ATTACK! Whee! With Key, Key Boy go into secret cave and find sad That girl. No, there no catchy tune dis time. She disappear in Key Boy's arms and then horrible wind blow(Hehehe, "Blow") Key Boy back outside. Gasp! Whole world has been reduced to small chunk of land! Gasp more! Embodiment of Key Boy's shadow am back! But Key Boy KEEL EET good. Then Key Boy and last of Key Boy's world get sucked into vortex of doom. THE END!
........Well at least Kimahri WISH that the end. But Kimahri am wrong. So very wrong.
~Whoo~ I got that chap done in less then an hour! I can do this! I can do eet! Yay. I have a whole week off from school so that means time to work on all of my stories! Read 'em all or I'll get Cancer! That's a BAD thing. I can't wait for Cubivore ta come out in November. I thought they'd never release it in America. SO I MUST WAIT! Now I will go and see if its time for food. Silly me! Its ALWAYS time for food!~Silver Neko, Embodiment of your tears!