Chapter Three : Always Run

He'd brought Oswin to London to prove himself to her, then moved the TARDIS into a better district to show her around. Then had come the readings of Autons in the area and he'd had to go and investigate. It was who he was, always meddling in things. Of course during this his new companion had slipped away from him, probably accidentally, and he was left searching for her. Lost one companion to gain another, a blonde with a smile that lit up his world and staggered him. All starting with one word, one single utterance of sound that followed him through all his lives. Run.

And how he'd run, getting caught up in the adventure, in showing off for someone again. And Rose Tyler was a very receptive audience, brave and clever and absolutely fantastic. In the rush of the adventure he'd forgotten that he had come there with someone and gone off with a new companion that wasn't the woman who had come to him in his darkest time to pull him back onto the path. But, then again, hadn't it always been that way with her? It wasn't until some time later, after he'd had one of those few good days where everyone had lived during an adventure, that he remembered Oswin. His hearts constricted painfully in his chest even as he watched Rose and Jack laughing about something across the console room. Well, he'd just have to go back and get her. Three wouldn't be bad, and Rose would like Oswin. Then he'd have both his best girls and the universe to explore. Jack could go sod off.

"Well...that was rude." He muttered to himself, earning him a curious look from Rose and an odd one from Jack. They wouldn't know he'd just thought something rude, and it was a good thing. He couldn't control when little bits of an old regeneration came back to haunt him, though he couldn't recall which version of him had been rude enough to tell someone to sod off. Had any of them?

The Doctor shook his head. None of that mattered, he had to get back to Oswin. Now then, just where had he left her? Or maybe that should be when...Ah! It was the same day he'd met Rose. Couldn't go back exactly on the day he'd been there, crossing timelines and all that, but he could go the day after. Just had to keep his companion on board while he went and fetched his other companion. Couldn't have her there when she'd been missing for a year and returned to that place a year later. It gave him a headache when he met himself, he could only imagine how it would affect a human being.

So he searched the area where he'd left her with as much diligence as he could muster, which was substantial. He was determined, but after failing to locate her even when scanning for the particles that surrounded all time travelers with his sonic he started to wonder if she'd ever been there in the first place. Had he simply created her in a desperate attempt to assuage his own loneliness at the beginning of this regeneration? Was there no Oswin, no clever girl who wanted to see the stars and that gave him his favorite word of this new life. He hadn't been exactly sane at the beginning, but surely his mind hadn't drummed up someone like her. He had very faded memories of meeting her in other regenerations, memories that were often locked from his recollection for whatever reason there was. She had to be here somewhere!

In the end he was forced to give up his search. Rose wanted to go visit her mum, and Jack was curious about the 21st century in London. So with reluctance slowing his steps, the Time Lord finally had to admit defeat. Oswin wasn't here, she wasn't even in this time. Perhaps she'd somehow returned to her own, and he'd look when he had a moment, but life went on. On to more adventures with Rose and Jack, on to trying to forget his past and the terrors of the Time War. Life went on, and so would he. He would look again, but maybe not for a while.

BREAKBREAKBREAKBREAKBREAKBREAKBREAKBREAK

She'd had to practically beg him to take her here, back to this place that she had memories of but had never returned to before this. The place where years ago a Time Lord came to mourn his people at the start of a new regeneration. She'd been a different person back then, one of the echos of herself scattered throughout the Doctor's timeline, but she still remembered this place. So she'd changed into a white sundress and pushed her dark locks partially under a white wide-brimmed hat. As close to how she'd looked back then, so he'd recognize her. Time to lay one last moment to rest, the one time she'd never been able to tell him she was alright, that she'd made it home. She hadn't, but there was no reason to let the old soldier know that.

"I won't be long Doctor. Try not to get into any trouble while I'm out."

Talking him into letting her go by herself had been even harder, after the events of Trenzalore not even a week ago. It would have been impossible if he'd remembered this place and time, but luckily he hadn't. Not yet. And when he did he'd probably drag her back to the TARDIS and get out of there as fast as he could. Of all his regenerations, Clara thought that perhaps it was this one that bothered him the most. His green eyes bore into her back as she made for the door, his expression one of extreme displeasure. Which was hard. Her Doctor, he was rarely cross, though his eyes did reflect sadness far more than they should. He had lost so much, and well she knew from seeing his timeline. Some hurts never went away, and for his sake she hoped he lost no one else. But she had to do this.

"Clara?"

The brunette paused, turning to look back at the man leaning against the console of the sentient ship. She braced herself to have to argue with him about being here without explanation, and why she'd insisted he stay aboard the TARDIS instead of coming with her. She only ever went home by herself, and even then he'd been walking her to her door, still afraid she'd disappear on him. He'd said so, then denied ever saying it after he'd gotten rest after being at the place where he was supposed to die. It was why, after she'd woken up from a two-day sleep after what had been their scariest and most dangerous adventure together yet, that she'd been in his room instead of her own. He was terrified of loosing her as he'd lost others in this regeneration, though she still didn't know their names. It was his secret, like his true name, and one she'd let him keep.

"Don't go. He doesn't deserve it."

That gave her pause. He was looking at her with that serious set to his body, his eyes showing underneath the fall of his mop of brown hair. Which needed a cut, she noted for herself. But then her focus was back on the present as he pushed his body off the console and strode up to her, looking down at her with that same intense expression he'd given her when he'd come to get her out of his own timeline despite the danger.

Just this once, just for the hell of it, let me save you.

"You knew where I wanted to come but you brought me here anyway." It was a statement rather than a question, because the Doctor obviously knew her intent.

"Its the dress. I remember coming here when I was him, remember coming back to that bench and hoping to see a girl who never returned to her own time. I'd failed her, I'd left her behind and forgotten about her, and it taught me to be more careful with my companions. He deserves that hurt."

She laced their fingers, tugging his hands away from where they'd been crossed over his chest. "You never deserve to be alone, no matter what face you wear. And you've hurt more than anyone should ever have to already. If I can erase one hurt from your eyes then I'm going to do it. I've seen every one of your faces, every regeneration, and its this one that I never got the chance to settle things. Let me make this right. Let me save you one more time."

The look on his face shifted just slightly, the green of his eyes softening as he pulled her into a brief hug and kissed the top of her head. "My Clara, my Impossible Girl. Always saving me, even when its only from myself. Go on then, go to him. Be quick, that bloke gives me a headache." He let her go and gave her a nudge, which she took to mean she should go before he changed his mind. So she left him standing in the open door of his time ship and darted across the open grass towards a park with a particular bench.

He wasn't hard to spot, he was so bleedin' tall. But it was just like she remembered, in that other life. He'd obviously been looking for some time and was ready to give up, and if she'd been delayed any longer he'd have been gone. She could see his TARDIS parked near a dense group of trees only because she was really looking. Nice parking spot, Doctor. But his expression was drawn, his big body slumped as sadness crossed into those gorgeous blue eyes. As she watched he plopped himself down on the bench and dug his hands against either side of his head. Deja vu hit her hard but she didn't let it stop her stride, coming over to stand just in front of the man that had changed her life forever in a different one of his regenerations. As before she put her hands over his and took a breath to speak.

"Hey gent, you alright?"

His head shot up so fast she had to almost snatch her hands back to keep from accidentally smacking him in the face from the sudden movement. Then she stepped back because he came to his feet in one of those too-quick movements that she berated her Doctor over when he did them. Time Lord thing, he said. Well she'd been Gallifreyan a handful of times during her jaunt through the Doctor's timeline and she'd never been able to do that. The look on her face stopped her cross musings over Time Lords and the things they did, because it was the same one she saw on her Doctor way too often. The look of someone who had seen and done too much, lost too much.

"Oswin?"

She gave him a nod then a startled cry as he snatched her into his arms and hugged her tightly, his big body curving against her in that way that said he'd been worried sick about her. Or that he'd thought he'd lost her, which he had. Not like she was telling him that, and thank goodness she was immune to his telepathic abilities now because she didn't want him seeing that she wasn't who he thought she was. Just a moment to let him calm down and she'd set him off. The universe wasn't finished with the Doctor, after all.

"Easy now, gent. You're squashing me here." A harsh bark of laughter sounded above her head before a nose started burrowing against the top of her head. Okay this was new, and it lasted only moments before he straightened up and lifted her off the ground in a spin that left her laughing as well. His eyes had gone alight, and he didn't seem to be as depressed as the last time she'd seen him. Probably the effects of one Rose Tyler. The blonde obviously agreed with his sense of well-being.

When he finally put her down a hand went to link with hers and he pulled her after him, heading towards the trees and the place he'd parked his ship. Uh-oh. "I can't believe I actually found you. I'm so sorry I left you behind, but I got distracted. I've another companion too, you'll like her she's fantastic. Her name's Rose, but I'll let you meet her here and you can see for yourself."

"Doctor."

She tried to get his attention even as she dug her heals into the ground to slow their pace. His long legs ate up the ground on his path to his ship, but she knew she couldn't go with him. He didn't seem to hear her, going right on with his word vomit at top Doctor speed. He sounded...almost frantic. Like he knew she had something to say that he wasn't going to like and he wanted to keep it from happening.

"Doctor." Her tone was firmer this time, and he stopped, turning around with only feet between they and the doors to his ship. That was better. "I can't go with you."

His expression fell, that grin falling off his face. "Why not? I know I left you in Rose's time, and I'm sorry about that, but let me make it up to you. I'm really not that big of a...I'm clever, I really am. I didn't do it on purpose, Oswin, you have to believe that." He took her hands in his in that same way her own Doctor had of doing when he was trying to get her to believe something he was telling her. His manner and face may be different, but he was still the Doctor. And he had this way of looking at her, like he was now, that no matter the color of his eyes always made her give in no matter how cross she was with him. "Please?"

Stupid bloody Doctor and his stupid puppy-dog eyes.

She had to look away, to focus her gaze on his green jumper that curiously matched his other self's eyes. She liked the green better than the black, she decided absently before looking back up at him. So. Sodding. Tall. "I can't go with you, not this time. I know you don't understand, and I don't want to hurt you, but I don't belong there. I...I was meant to lead you to her, to that fantastic girl in there waiting for you to return to take her on another adventure, to show her the universe." The look on his face made her loose her hands from his to press on either side of his face. "Now you listen to me, you big mental gent. I will always find you when you need me most, and someday I'll be able to stand at your side and go on adventures with you. Just not now, not after putting you back on the path you had to be on. I did what I was supposed to do, now you have to let me go until the next time."

The look on his face made her want to cry for him. He was sad, and she hated to be the cause of that sadness. But he'd see her again. It would take a few centuries, but he'd see her. Her hands slipped to his shoulders and rested there for a moment before removing themselves from his person altogether. "Go on then. Go be the clever, brilliant man I know you are. Go be the Doctor." She stepped back from him and turned to go, forcing herself to walk rather than run. It hurt him, she knew, leaving this way, but at least he didn't believe she'd died or something equally as disturbing.

"Goodbye Oswin." His tone was flat, but she knew he was letting her go, that he wouldn't come after her. He understood, in his way, that she was right.

"Goodbye Doctor." She paused, looking over her shoulder and flashing him the look she'd given her Doctor right before she'd jumped into his time stream. "You know what? Run, run you clever boy, and remember me." He flashed her that manic grin she knew so well and let off this sound that was almost like laughter but that he was still sad that she wasn't coming with him.

"Fantastic."

And she ran, like she'd been doing since the moment the crazy floppy haired gent had entered her life. She ran back to the TARDIS, back to her life of adventures, back to the Doctor. And he was waiting on her, still leaning against the doors like he'd been when she left him. Not much time had passed, but she still threw herself into his arms and hugged him with all the strength in her body. He held her there for a long time, never one to turn down a Clara-hug, as he put it. Once she let him set her aside he took her hand and kissed the back of it in a rare display of true affection on his part. "Thank you Clara."