This is my first SVU story I'm sorry if I get a bit muddled because English isn't my first language. There are mentions of rape further on in the story but each chapter will have it's own individual warnings. Thanks for reading!

Throughout her many years on the job, Olivia had learned to wake up as soon as her phone rang or vibrated. Squinting in the darkness at the too-bright screen she frowned as she recognised the vaguely familiar number. It was the ER at… Bellevue. She wasn't on call tonight and a brief wave of panic flashed over her as she wondered why the ER would be calling her at 2 in the morning.

"Detective Benson," she said softly, not wanting to wake Brian, who was still sleeping soundly beside her.

As the woman on the phone explained the reason for the call, Olivia found herself automatically getting up and she began to get dressed as the conversation continued.

"Yeah I'll be there," Olivia confirmed, pulling on yesterday's pants because they were the closest thing to hand.

"Livia?" Brian said sleepily as he was finally roused from his slumber, "where ya goin'?"

"Caught a case," Olivia replied quickly, though not strictly a lie, she knew better than to tell him the truth. She figured she'd been called for a reason, "Go back to sleep," she said, leaning down to give him a kiss.

Arriving at the ER Olivia walked straight to the admit desk and waited impatiently while the clerk finished her phone call. Flashing her badge as soon as the woman was finished Olivia got down to business.

"Detective Benson, I got a phone call about a half hour ago?"

"Uh yes," the clerk replied, "Um Tina," she called, waving at an older heavyset woman down the hall, "This is a Detective Benson, for the girl in 3,"

"Thanks," Olivia said as the nurse beckoned her over. "What happened?" she asked, as she followed the woman down the hall.

"She hasn't admitted it, but it looks very much like a rape," the nurse sighed sadly, and Olivia felt her heart drop. "A couple about to do the nasty found her passed out in an alleyway and called an ambulance, she's conscious now but she's liquored up and very agitated,"

"Have you done a rape kit?" Olivia asked tentatively, to which the nurse shook her head.

"She's refusing all treatment, the only reason she allowed us to call someone was because we can't release her unless somebody goes home with her,"

"Okay," Olivia said, trying to take in all the information. She knew that she would be fighting an uphill battle, "she in here?" Olivia asked as they came to a stop outside a small room.

"Yeah, I'd watch it though she's volatile," the nurse warned.

"Thanks," Olivia replied softly, before she pushed open the door to the room.

"Go away, I don't want anyone in here," came a shaky, hoarse voice from behind a curtain.

"Amanda," Olivia called quietly, but she got no answer. She drew back the curtain slowly and bit her lip in an attempt to stifle the gasp that tried to escape her lips. Olivia had seen hundreds of victims, some beat up a little, some severely, but it never prepared her for when it was someone she knew. Amanda was sat with her head bowed on the edge of the bed, clutching her torn leather jacket closed around her chest. Olivia instinctively knew from Amanda's demeanour, from the bruises on her arms that the nurse had been right.

"Amanda," she tried again, softer this time in an attempt to engage the blonde in a conversation.

"What?"

The monosyllabic reply was cold, but it didn't deter Olivia. Not wanting to stand over Amanda and appear domineering she perched on the bed next to her.

"What happened?" she asked.

"Nothing, nothing happened, I got drunk, I fell and hit my head and they won't let me leave unless someone takes me home." Amanda said, stumbling over her words a couple of times.

Olivia was sure that the only part of that explanation that was true was the fact Amanda was drunk, not that that mattered in the least. Amanda had obviously been assaulted, and like a lot of victims was denying that anything had happened.

"So those bruises on your arms, did you get those when you fell?" Olivia asked, hoping the question would trip Amanda up and let her in.

"Don't talk to me like that Olivia, don't use your victim tactics on me, I didn't call you for your sympathy I called so you could take me home," Amanda replied viciously, her head tipping up slightly so the curtain of hair that had been shielding her face fell back and exposed her bruised cheek.

"Well I'm not your favourite person right now," Olivia said, recalling the remark Amanda had made to her just hours earlier, why not call Fin?" the brunette cringed, it had come out a little harsher than she'd intended it to but she knew she had to get through to Amanda somehow.

She saw Amanda visibly flinch at the sound of Fin's name, of course she wouldn't want the guys to see her like this. Amanda just shook her head, and pulled her jacket a little tighter around herself.

"You know what I think?" Olivia started, "I think someone hurt you and I think you had them call me because I get it,"

Amanda shook her head again violently and stiffly got up off the bed, "if you're not going to help me get out of here I'll just get a cab," she seethed, making her way to the door. Olivia moved quickly, and she was able to get to the door before Amanda could, and she stood in front of it, effectively blocking the blonde's exit from the room.

"I am trying to help you Amanda and if I let you walk out of here now I'm not doing my job, as a detective or as your friend." Olivia couldn't help but be a little shocked as her use of the word 'friend', she hadn't realised up until seeing the usually confident Amanda Rollins in so much distress how much she actually cared for her.

"I'm not your friend," Amanda said, swaying on her feet slightly. Olivia put her arms out to steady her but Amanda flinched away, "I was a complete bitch to you today, and to the guys, don't pretend you care now,"

"So you had a crap day and took it out on us, I'll live," Olivia reassured her. She noticed with concern how unsteady Amanda was on her feet, "why don't you sit back down for a minute okay?"

Olivia only got another head shake in reply, "I'm fine,"

"You're not," replied the brunette matter-of-factly, "I've been doing this a long time Amanda, you can't fool me,"

"Nothing. Happened," Amanda insisted and for the first time that evening she briefly made eye contact with Olivia. It was only a few seconds but it was long enough for Olivia to notice the fear in Amanda's eyes.

"''Manda what are you afraid of?" Olivia asked tenderly, and she could immediately tell that it struck a chord with Amanda because the other woman started visibly shaking.

"It's okay, you can tell me," she encouraged softly and it broke Olivia's heart to see Amanda slowly unravelling in front of her.

"I… I," Amanda started, then paused, unsure of herself. Olivia noticed Amanda bite her lip as she tried to blink back the tears that were already beginning to wet her cheeks.

"I was drunk," Amanda whispered, so quietly that Olivia almost didn't hear her.

"That doesn't matter," Olivia was quick to reassure her.

"I – uh… I f-flirted with him. All night," Amanda admitted tearfully and Olivia finally got it. Amanda was so afraid because she thought that no one would believe her. And as an SVU detective she knew how hard the defense came down on victims who had been drinking or were seen to be previously friendly with their alleged attackers.

"That doesn't matter," Olivia repeated, "That doesn't give someone the right to-" Olivia cut herself off. She didn't want to put words in Amanda's mouth. She had to tell her own story.

"He bought me drinks," Amanda continued, "God I'm so stupid," she exclaimed, kicking the metal frame of the bed in frustration.

"What happened Amanda?" Olivia asked gently.

"He pushed me up against the- the wall, but I was too w-wasted to fight him off me," defeated, Amanda sat back down on the edge of the bed, wincing at the pain the action caused her.

Olivia hesitated before asking her next question, it always felt like she was doubting a person, "Did you say no?"

"Yes," came Amanda's shaky reply.

"Honey you need to report this," Olivia said, though she already knew Amanda's probable response to that.

"No."

"Amanda you're an SVU detective you know how important it is that people report assaults," Olivia tried to reason with her but Amanda just shook her head again.

"And I've seen how humiliating it is for those people up on the witness stand while the defence splashes their entire lives around a courtroom. I can't do it Olivia. I can't," Amanda was getting more and more worked up as she spoke, and tears were now running freely down her cheeks.

"Alright, it's okay, calm down," Olivia soothed, "Let not talk about this right now okay?" she said, worrying that she had pushed Amanda too far.

"Why don't we get a doctor in to check you over? The nurse said you refused treatment when they brought you in," Olivia suggested, "The cut on your cheek looks like it might need stitches," she explained, when a look of terror overcame Amanda at her suggestion.

Amanda brought her hand up to her left cheek, and look surprised when it came away bloody, as if she hadn't realised she even had a cut there.

"O-okay," she agreed, her voice shaky. "I don't consent to a rape kit," she said firmly.

"'Manda-"

"I don't want anyone touching me I don't want it, I can't. You don't have my consent" she repeated, and from the look in Amanda's eyes Olivia could tell she was being serious.

Olivia sighed, "okay," she finally agreed. At least she'd made the first steps in convincing Amanda to see a doctor. She hoped that when the blonde had sobered up a little she would be more willing to listen to reason but Olivia knew how hard it was to have someone poke and prod you after you had been violated. It had been hard for her and both times it had never gone as far as what had happened to Amanda tonight.

"I'm going to get a doctor," Olivia said, before quietly slipping out of the room.