Zuko paused at the edge of the forest and took a deep breath. Despite the civilian clothing and the fact he was unusually almost completely alone for a change, this still felt like the most nerve-racking thing he'd done since his coronation. Certainly it was far more daunting than approaching Aang and his companions after the day of Black Sun. And of all the wrongs he'd committed over the years, this particular one had needled away at the back of his mind ever since. He'd thrown up brave front after brave front in the days that followed, but he could no longer deny his own guilt.
Previously he'd felt able to justify the crime and it had seemed far from terrible; if nothing else no one could have died as a result of his actions. More recently though he'd become worried that this might not necessarily be true; there were other ways his theft could have impacted the family, up to and including a death. And it wasn't like he'd stolen something small or insignificant; he'd stolen an ostrich horse. Maybe the family had fallen on hard times after he'd gone and could have sold the creature, using the money to feed themselves. Maybe one of the family had gotten ill and needed the mount to get them to the nearest healer. Maybe- His thoughts were interrupted as a hand clapped down heavily onto his back.
"I hope her mother cooks duck again," Iroh remarked, peering through the village to Song's house.
"Uncle," Zuko replied with a slight clench to his jaw. "I am here to apologise for stealing from them. I don't think we should be expecting a meal."
"Doesn't mean I can't be a little optimistic," the older man retorted with a smile.
"You know I wanted to do this alone don't you? That's why everyone else is back in Caldera city."
"I know. But I cannot let you apologise alone. I was there when you took the ostrich horse; I could have prevented you from the theft, or refused to participate in it. So while I did not personally steal it, I am just as guilty in my role as your accomplice." His face was serious now, Zuko impressed with his resolve. It didn't last; Iroh's face abruptly broke into a new grin. "But if she forgives us there is at least the possibility of a meal. It was particularly good duck after all, and she did help me after I drank that white jade bush tea."
Zuko couldn't stop the smirk forming as he recalled his uncle's single-minded obsession with the plant after they found it and his inability to distinguish between it and a white dragon bush - and later again when he had been unsure if he'd found bacui or maka'ole berries.
"Well, shall we get this over with?" Zuko asked, anxious to get moving.
"No. We are going to apologise. The apology must be heart-felt and earnest, not a chore that we feel obligated to do. You feel guilty for the theft?"
"Yes."
"You feel a need to apologise?"
"Yes."
"And you feel that you should do this as a person rather than as the Fire Lord?"
"Yes."
"Good. Now we can go." Iroh paused and looked thoughtful. "Are we going as ourselves or...?" He trailed off.
"What do you mean 'Are we going as ourselves'? Who else are we going to go as?" Zuko asked, confused.
"Well, my memory might not be quite what it once was, but I seem to remember a reluctance on your part to let on that you had the same name as the Prince of the Fire Nation. It was a necessary deception at the time, though I was less than pleased with the name you gave me."
"Oh, that's right. I was Lee and you were Mushi."
Iroh wagged a finger at his nephew. "While that's what you said, I think they will remember you better as 'Junior'."
Zuko scowled. "Urgh."
"Well, I think you deserved that after 'Mushi'."
They lapsed into silence and continued to stare into the village. "We're just delaying this aren't we?" Zuko asked.
"Well, it is an embarrassing thing to be confronted with your past failures. It's like whenever I see Ba Sing Se and am reminded of how I failed to conquer it. And then a bit later when I saw your sister manage it so quickly."
"Uncle, you run a tea-shop in that city. You live there," Zuko exclaimed.
"And deep down it still hurts," the older man insisted.
"Never mind, come on."
Zuko stalked into the village, Iroh trailing a few steps behind. It had been about two years since they had stopped by the village after the older man made a tasty but very ill-advised cup of tea. Little seemed to have changed in the interim, and Zuko couldn't help but wonder how the overall war had affected them. Had they been tempted to flee when Ba Sing Se fell, or had they held out here, unwilling and unable to give up their homeland even as the predatory fire kingdom threatened to consume their nation?
Few of the villagers gave either of them anything beyond a cursory glance; it seemed they still registered as strangers here. That certainly suited Zuko and he just hoped he could appear natural; he'd been getting too used to a life in politics and ruling the Fire Nation. He wanted this apology to mean something; in the past people had acted so differently when they had known he was Prince Zuko or when they knew he was a Fire Bender. His apology to Song would be simple, easy and near meaningless if his stature as the Fire Lord was allowed to influence her.
Even though he had chosen the humble route he wondered how she would have reacted if had come as the Fire Lord. Would she be daunted by his power or would she act without deference? Difficult to say; he'd met so many who had ignored his status during his time pursuing and then journeying with Aang. How would Song react? Should he tell her anything of himself personally or pretend to have no skill with fire? That style of bending was a sore subject for the healer; he remembered his first time here and the mottled scarring that had spread up the girl's leg. Maybe he should just come clean. It seemed more fitting to be hated, even if he was little more then a proxy for the ones who'd injured her.
As if reading his thoughts, Iroh spoke up. "Do not be so quick to wish for hatred Junior." He didn't look at his nephew directly, instead letting his gaze roam around them as they walked. "Let Song listen to your words and then act accordingly."
Zuko's step faltered but he nodded. With a strong sense of forboding he stepped up to the door of the clinic and pushed it open. Song was busy with a patient, but called over her shoulder that she'd be done soon. Zuko fidgeted as a gnawing sensation settled into his stomach.
"There you go," Song said as she patted her patient on the back and turned to greet the newcomers. "Yes...?" she said, her brow furrowing as she looked at them. Zuko could almost see the gears spinning inside her head as she tried to reconcile a tenuous and extremely faint memory with the men she saw standing in front of her. He decided to save her some time.
"Hello... Song. I'm not sure if you remember us; we met about two years ago. I'm... Junior and this is my uncle Mushi."
The frown didn't leave Song's face as she stared at them. "I feel I should remember you, but so much has happened..."
Iroh spoke up. "You treated me when I ingested the white jade plant as tea."
"Oh!" Her eyes widened in recognition, and then dimmed faintly. "Oh."
The feeling in Zuko's stomach only intensified as he saw the life drain out of Song. "Song... I... we..."
"Did it help you?" she said quietly.
"Huh?" Zuko blinked at her.
"Did our ostrich horse help you?"
"Y-yes," he stammered, wondering at Song's reaction.
"You were desperate weren't you? You needed her to get you to Ba Sing Se. You wouldn't have done it otherwise right?"
Zuko sighed. "No. I'm sorry to say we weren't that desperate. That's why we came here; to apologise for taking the ostrich horse."
Song frowned. "You didn't need her... at all?"
"She did help us. She was a fine bird and was greatly appreciated."
"What happened to her?"
Zuko ducked his head, unhappy. "We had to give her up before we took the ferry into Ba Sing Se. I... I went back to look for her recently. But it's been too long and no one remembers what happened to her. We had to leave her behind just before the Fire Nation took the city." He grew nervous at Song's downcast expression. "I'm sure she was okay."
"I see." Song smiled sadly. "Thank you for trying though. I am glad you're both okay, and survived the war. I keep thinking I should let the past just be the past. I hear the new Fire Lord is very different to his father." Zuko felt his back stiffen, and noticed Iroh shifting with discomfort beside him. Zuko aimed for casual.
"I hear something similar."
"And they say the Avatar stands with him now the world is at peace. I know it's hard, but can you find it in yourself to forgive the Fire Nation for what they did to you? We need to move on with our lives."
He wanted to smile, but bit it back. "I will try. I've been leaving so much of my past behind now, I hadn't really thought of it," he replied, his words making him frown. When had everything gotten so much easier? There were two answers really; the first had been as he left his father moments before the eclipse ended and the second had been in the aftermath of Aang taking his father's bending from him.
"If you can do that and move on, I think I could forgive you. I mean, you disappointed me back then, and we could have used her, but we coped. And I hope things will be easier now with the peace."
"Thank you for your forgiveness," Iroh rumbled and bowed to her.
"There's more though," Zuko blurted, feeling awkward now.
"Oh?" asked Song, tilting her head to one side.
"When we couldn't find your ostrich horse, we felt we should bring you another."
Song's hands rushed to her mouth. "Oh no, I couldn't accept that."
"Please," Iroh interrupted, waving her protest away with his hand. "Thanks to your ostrich horse we were able escape bandits and safely reach Ba Sing Se quickly. There we made a new life for ourselves; I have my very own tea shop in the city. You should come if you are ever in the area."
"What he means is, that thanks to you we were able to get ahead in life and we need to repay our debt," Zuko hastily added
"Also if you come to the city, you and your family will have a life-time supply of free tea." Iroh beamed at her, much to Song's amusement.
"I still feel I shouldn't accept, but thank you for the replacement and thank you for the apology. And the tea." She was smiling now, looking between the two of them for a moment. "Would you like to come for dinner again? I'm pretty sure my mother is cooking duck."
"That would be most welcome," Iroh beamed at her. "I will wait here while Junior goes to fetch your new ostrich horse."
Zuko narrowed his eyes at his uncle who pretended to not see the reaction and then nodded. "I'll meet you back here in a few minutes."
He walked quickly back through the village, glad that it had gone so well, glad that he could apologise as the person Song had met and not as Fire Lord Zuko. He felt the guilt for his actions slowly fade from his mind and was now actually looking forward to dinner.